I HATE soccer moms...

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-10-21 10:32pm

(and yet another reason why I dislike huge SUVs)

Today I did find something I truely hate: soccer moms.

Granted I think the one this morning found a new hatred for young male drivers with loud stereos driving Hondas...

Read: dumb bitch switched lanes behind me and left about 6" between her Suburban and my car's bumper, now this is to be expected in the usual 2mph bridge traffic, granted she was closer than normal, so no problem there... Now, it is assumed that if you are that close to someone that you let them go before you go... Well, she didn't.

So I used the opportunity of the guy in front of me braking (I actually didn't have to due to being in 1st and having enough space) and brake checked the bitch... Predictably, I promptly had about 20 feet off my bumper to hers and then heard all the cars up the lane honking.

Now, I would have let it drop at this since she started keeping distance... but no, the stupid bitch wouldn't. She gets into the right lane, comes up along side gesturing (switching between the "you're loony" gesture and hte universal traffic signal). my responce, flip her off and wave my fist at her.

(When she did the "you're loony" gesture, I shoulda nodded or done the "off with your head" gesture)

Next she rolls down her window yelling at me, so I turn off my stereo (it was a very high base techno track that actually had someone asking me if I had 12's in the trunk the other day) and roll down my window, she was about a car length ahead in that lane at that point, but with the window down. so I yell out the window "FUCKING BITCH, STOP FUCKING TAILGATING!!!"

About a minute later I again pull up along side her, thinking this was over, and she's still gesturing, so I turned the wheel hard over and swirved into her (no hit btw, for obvious reasons). Just enough to make Mrs. High-and-Mighty-I-got-a-Suburban soccer mom bitch probably have a panic attack.

Next time I saw the bitch she was on the phone looking real nervous and agitated.

Soccer mom + cellphone after having someone just scare the piss out of her in a road rage incedent = 911 call (most likely) Which means she got laughed off the line.

Beleive it or not, but I am actually a very calm guy in heavy rush hour traffic. I just turn up the stereo, lean back, and coast for about half hour until I'm clear of the mess.

But if I can't see the headlights on a Suburban behind me, then something's wrong with the Suburban's driver.

Amazingly, this is the first true case of road rage that *I* have had since I started this commute last winter.

Funny things I noticed afterwards: I had a good 500 feet of space behind me in bumper to bumper traffic at maybe 5mph (and about the same ahead of me just due to my extreme dislike of tailgating, I hate it when people do it to me, so I won't do it to other people). And there was a metric crapload of fuzz in that area on the way home.

I just can't beleive how fucking stupid the drivers of the huge SUVs are... The majority seem to be soccer moms who upgraded from Aerostars and the like a few years back... Which means they can't drive worth a shit.

Right now I am seriously contemplating getting some junker car that runs, and mount fake machine guns (double mount) on each side of the car behind the front doors, and a cop light bar (legal to have on your car if totally disconnected, which means no loose wires either).

For the record, I am not defending my actions and I am not at all happy with what I did, so don't rub it in.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-10-21 10:39pm

OK, I'm a dumb ass but what is a 'soccer mom?'

I told this story before, but when I was juicing on roids a while ago I had a woman driving an MR2 cut me off. She almost caused an accident. She then sped up and cut more people off, switching lanes as she drove. I was so mad I was seeing in red. I followed her into the Wal Mart parking lot. I found her, yelled at her while she was in her car and ended up punching a dent in her door. I could have easily been arrested for this. Road rage can EASILY get out of hand.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-10-22 12:12am

A "Soccer Mum" is one of those bitches wo believe all of society should bend for the children, and in the example above, they big SUV's under the belief of safety. To quote my aunt; "I know it's more likely to kill the other car but I don't give a shit."

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-10-22 12:15am

Sorry, forgot to add:

Great work there Hyperion, my dad did something similar a few years back, we were on the highway going some 100kph, some guy pulled in front of him and slowed right down. My dad, being like me, decided to get his own back, so pulled in front of him and slowed down. This man was not amused, later he was alongside us, making gestures for us to pull over. I gave him a real cheery wave while my dad gave him the finger.

Crown · Post by **Crown** » 2003-10-22 12:20am

Gandalf wrote:Sorry, forgot to add:

Great work there Hyperion, my dad did something similar a few years back, we were on the highway going some 100kph, some guy pulled in front of him and slowed right down. My dad, being like me, decided to get his own back, so pulled in front of him and slowed down. This man was not amused, later he was alongside us, making gestures for us to pull over. I gave him a real cheery wave while my dad gave him the finger.

The exact same thing happened to my dad ... except the other guy was a casual dressed cop

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-10-22 01:28am

So let me get this straight: some female driver performed an unsafe driving maneuver. We can all agree that this makes her an idiot because she was carelessly endangering the safety of other drivers.

Your remedy for this action was to deliberately make not one, but two unsafe driving maneuvers of your own, while bragging about how loud your car stereo is.

You seem to think this is something to be proud of. Is there something admirable here which I missed?

Hyperion · Post by **Hyperion** » 2003-10-22 01:49am

Darth Wong wrote:So let me get this straight: some female driver performed an unsafe driving maneuver. We can all agree that this makes her an idiot because she was carelessly endangering the safety of other drivers.

Your remedy for this action was to deliberately make not one, but two unsafe driving maneuvers of your own, while bragging about how loud your car stereo is.

You seem to think this is something to be proud of. Is there something admirable here which I missed?

The comment about my stereo was a joke, I honestly don't think she even noticed.

Read the lower part, I am not happy with what I did, I posted it here more as a way to say my day blew chunks. (and it got worse about an hour ago, but I am not going into that) My responce to her action was innappropriate, especially my swirve into her lane, also excessively stupid and dangerous, and not something I intend to repeat again. (hindsight is always 20/20, I would not have done that maneuver if I had a chance to redo the situation). As for the brakecheck, unlike some morons, I don't actually stop, I either do it lightly enough to only make the brakelights come on, or, like today, I will tap and hit the gas, make the car bounce, which with the brake lights is usually enough to make people keep distance. I'm not in the habit of trying to cause wrecks, however I will let someone know they got too close.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-10-22 02:04am

Darth Wong wrote:
You seem to think this is something to be proud of. Is there something admirable here which I missed?

Given his past history its likely a lie anyway.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-10-22 02:10am

Sea Skimmer wrote: Given his past history its likely a lie anyway.

And you don't tap on the brakes in front of a Suburban either
way

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-10-22 02:27am

Remarkably, some people are content to drive safely and intelligently, not inviting trouble because they've got anger management problems.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-10-22 02:30am

I *drive* a Suburban, and I have the opposite problem. Assholes in rice rockets who think that they can ride ~2 feet off my bumper.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-10-22 03:41am

Locked before it turns into yet another flamewar fueled by Mike/Skimmer/Sheppard.