Jerry Falwell, a well-known religious protector of 'public decency', was seated next to Bill Clinton on a recent flight. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. Clinton asked for a whiskey and soda which were brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.
The minister replied in disgust, "Ma'am, I'd rather be savagely raped by a brazen whore than let liquor touch these lips!"
Bill then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I'm sorry, I didn't know there was a choice..."
DISCUSS!
A little joke...
Moderator: Edi
A little joke...
JADAFETWA
-
Stormbringer
- King of Democracy
- Posts: 22678
- Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm
-
IRG CommandoJoe
- Sith Devotee
- Posts: 3481
- Joined: 2002-07-09 12:51pm
I have another little-known Clinton joke that I am fairly sure no one here has heard:
Bill Clinton and a priest both died at the exact same time. Their souls got mixed up, so the priest went to hell, and Clinton went to heaven.
The priest was told to sit in a waiting room for several hours in hell while heaven and hell tried to find Clonton and get them in the right places.
When they finally got it sorted out, the hell people told the priest to go to heaven on a long staircase.
When Clinton and the priest met each other on the staircase, they stopped and talked.
"Father, I am very sorry for this mix-up. My sorrow is.....genuine."
"Oh, well that's ok. I've been waiting all of my life to meet the Virgin Mary and a few hours more didn't bother me. "
Clinton had an evil grin on his face as he said, "Too late," and zipped up his fly.
Bill Clinton and a priest both died at the exact same time. Their souls got mixed up, so the priest went to hell, and Clinton went to heaven.
The priest was told to sit in a waiting room for several hours in hell while heaven and hell tried to find Clonton and get them in the right places.
When they finally got it sorted out, the hell people told the priest to go to heaven on a long staircase.
When Clinton and the priest met each other on the staircase, they stopped and talked.
"Father, I am very sorry for this mix-up. My sorrow is.....genuine."
"Oh, well that's ok. I've been waiting all of my life to meet the Virgin Mary and a few hours more didn't bother me. "
Clinton had an evil grin on his face as he said, "Too late," and zipped up his fly.
Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him? -Obi-Wan Kenobi
"In the unlikely event that someone comes here, hates everything we stand for, and then donates a big chunk of money anyway, I will thank him for his stupidity." -Darth Wong, Lord of the Sith
Proud member of the Brotherhood of the Monkey.
"In the unlikely event that someone comes here, hates everything we stand for, and then donates a big chunk of money anyway, I will thank him for his stupidity." -Darth Wong, Lord of the Sith
Proud member of the Brotherhood of the Monkey.
Lol, seen that. love it. Here's one.
Bill dies and goes to hell, where he meets the devil. The devil says, "we're full here, so you'll have to take someone's place." Behind the first door is Newt Gingrich, who's being flayed alive. Bill shudderes and shakes his head. Behind the second door is Gary Condit. He's being worked over with a blowtorch.
"No thanks" Bill says. Behind the third door is Ken Starr who is naked and chained to a chair. Before him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. "I'll take it!" Bill says.
"Very well," the devil says. "Monica, you may leave."
Bill dies and goes to hell, where he meets the devil. The devil says, "we're full here, so you'll have to take someone's place." Behind the first door is Newt Gingrich, who's being flayed alive. Bill shudderes and shakes his head. Behind the second door is Gary Condit. He's being worked over with a blowtorch.
"No thanks" Bill says. Behind the third door is Ken Starr who is naked and chained to a chair. Before him is Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. "I'll take it!" Bill says.
"Very well," the devil says. "Monica, you may leave."
JADAFETWA
-
Stormbringer
- King of Democracy
- Posts: 22678
- Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm
-
Stormbringer
- King of Democracy
- Posts: 22678
- Joined: 2002-07-15 11:22pm
Washington D.C. 20591
Dear Sirs:
I have the solution for the prevention of
hijackings and at the same time getting our airline
industry back on its feet.
Since men of the Muslim religion are not
allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of
our female flight attendants with strippers.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes
for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course,
every businessman in this country would start flying
again in hopes of seeing a naked woman.
We would have no more hijackings, and the
airline industry would have record sales.
Now why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I
still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Dear Sirs:
I have the solution for the prevention of
hijackings and at the same time getting our airline
industry back on its feet.
Since men of the Muslim religion are not
allowed to look at naked women we should replace all of
our female flight attendants with strippers.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes
for fear of seeing a naked woman, and of course,
every businessman in this country would start flying
again in hopes of seeing a naked woman.
We would have no more hijackings, and the
airline industry would have record sales.
Now why didn't Bush think of this? Why do I
still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Bush makes a diplomatic trip to Baghdad. As he sits down, he notices three buttons of Saddam's chair. Saddam hits the first button and a gallon of water is dumped on Bush's head. Embarrassed but determend to avoid war, Bush begins to speak. Saddam hits the second button and a suction cup arrow hits Bush in the forehead. Angry, but still willing to try, Bush continues to speak. Saddam hits the third button and a boxing glove on a spring pops out of the armrest and hits Bush on the chin. Having it up to here, Bush storms out.
A few weeks later, Saddam pays a visit to DC. As he hits down, he sees three buttons on Bush's chair. Bush hits the first one. Saddam flinches, but nothing happens. Bush snickers. A few minutes later, Bush hits the second butto. Saddam ducks, but again nothing happens. Bush laughs outright. Saddam takes a deep breath and continues speaking. Bush hits the final button. Saddam dives out of his chair, but again, nothing happens. Bush starts laughing and can't stop. Indignant, Saddam stands.
"I'm going back to Baghdad!" he declares.
In beteen bouts of laughter, Bush exclaims "What Baghdad?"
A few weeks later, Saddam pays a visit to DC. As he hits down, he sees three buttons on Bush's chair. Bush hits the first one. Saddam flinches, but nothing happens. Bush snickers. A few minutes later, Bush hits the second butto. Saddam ducks, but again nothing happens. Bush laughs outright. Saddam takes a deep breath and continues speaking. Bush hits the final button. Saddam dives out of his chair, but again, nothing happens. Bush starts laughing and can't stop. Indignant, Saddam stands.
"I'm going back to Baghdad!" he declares.
In beteen bouts of laughter, Bush exclaims "What Baghdad?"
JADAFETWA