Rules for Sydney drivers

[Vympel]

This hasn't been 'Australianized' has it? (i.e. was it originally from somewhere else?)


1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real Sydney driver never
uses them.

2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you
and the car in front of you, or somebody else will fill in thatspace
putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered"going
with the flow."

4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you
have of getting hit.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork.
The other guy doesn't have anything to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and as late as possible to ensure that
your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake
pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your
legs.

7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are
apparently not enforceable in the metro area during rush hour.

8. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during
rush-hour traffic in Sydney.

9. Always slow down and rubber-neck when you see an accident or even
someone changing a tire.

10. Everybody thinks their vehicle is better than yours, especially 4WD
drivers.

11. Learn to swerve abruptly. Sydney is the home of High-Speed Slalom
Driving thanks to the RTA, which puts potholes in key locations to test
drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.

12. It is traditional in Sydney to honk your horn at cars that don't move
the instant the light changes.

13. Seeking eye contact with another driver revokes your right of way.

14. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left
before proceeding.

15. Remember that the goal of every Sydney driver is to get there first,
by whatever means necessary.

16. Real Sydney women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at 75 k/ph in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

17. Real Sydney men drivers can remove pantyhose and a bra at 75k/ph in
bumper-to-bumper traffic.

18. Heavy fog and rain are no reasons to change any of the previously
listed rules. These weather conditions are God's way ensuring a natural
selection process for body shops, junkyards, and new vehicle sales.

19. There is a common held belief in Sydney that highspeed tailgating in
heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the
slipstream of the car in front.

20. It's OK to cut off fully loaded semi-trailers, road trains and buses
because they have brakes.

21. It is an essential duty of the driver to preserve the life of their
passengers. Hence no matter how much of an inconvenience it may be,
always find a detour around Mt Druit, Redfern, Lakemba, Punchbowl [hey my Grandparents live in Punchbowl!], Cabramatta and Kings Cross.

22. Always anticipate oncoming traffic while driving down a one way
street.

23. It's O.K when driving in Sydney's Western suburbs to air your
grievances at bad drivers by giving the "one finger salute" while
screaming out "asshole" . But it is imperative you are driving a turbo charged 5 litre V8 with a crow bar in your lap.

[Sea Skimmer]

Just one more list of reasons why my ideal wheeled vehicle would be a HEMTT with a gas turbine and plow, which is arguably for snow in court.

[BoredShirtless]

This hasn't been 'Australianized' has it? (i.e. was it originally from somewhere else?)

Probably Rome. Roman drivers are easily the worse I've ever seen. How the FUCK do two Vespa's have a head on collision?! I saw the aftermath of that two w/e's ago. And on that night, this guy on [what else] a Vespa stacks right in front of me! Crazy Romans.

[HemlockGrey]

Sydney drivers appear to be pussies.

[Dalton]

Sydney drivers appear to be pussies.

New York City drivers are insane, but Jersey's worse.

[Howedar]

19. There is a common held belief in Sydney that highspeed tailgating in heavy traffic reduces petrol consumption as you get sucked along in the slipstream of the car in front.

This is true, although the effect is negligable.

[Andrew J.]

And the most important rule for driving in Sydney is: don't drive in Sydney.

[aerius]

This hasn't been 'Australianized' has it? (i.e. was it originally from somewhere else?)

Probably has, I've seen pretty much the same list applied to practically every major city.

[Hethrir]

...nized

...a tire...

yes, certainly is from US.

[Vendetta]

This hasn't been 'Australianized' has it? (i.e. was it originally from somewhere else?)

Probably Rome. Roman drivers are easily the worse I've ever seen. How the FUCK do two Vespa's have a head on collision?! I saw the aftermath of that two w/e's ago. And on that night, this guy on [what else] a Vespa stacks right in front of me! Crazy Romans.

Madrid has a good claim too. as does Paris.

Any major european capital except London (where the cars don't actually ever got to move) is to be considered a danger zone for cars, pedestrians, and basically anything within striking distance of a road.

[HemlockGrey]

Of course, while South Philadelphia may not have the craziest drivers in the known universe, its the only place I've ever been where literally the entire street is considered to be free parking.

[Raxmei]

I've seen the first rule applied to Los Angeles, but none of the others. The bit about rain and fog doesn't make sense for LA because they don't have weather in SoCal. NoCal doesn't have any famously bad traffic zones. It might've come from the East coast, if it came from the US at all.

Looking up "Turn signals will give away your next move" on google reveals the list for a number of different locations. A couple just say generic American, while others say Ohio, American South, Florida, Massachusetts, and New York. That's just the first page. I stick by my previous guess of American East Coast as the likely point of origin.

[Dahak]

This hasn't been 'Australianized' has it? (i.e. was it originally from somewhere else?)

Probably Rome. Roman drivers are easily the worse I've ever seen. How the FUCK do two Vespa's have a head on collision?! I saw the aftermath of that two w/e's ago. And on that night, this guy on [what else] a Vespa stacks right in front of me! Crazy Romans.

Madrid has a good claim too. as does Paris.

Any major european capital except London (where the cars don't actually ever got to move) is to be considered a danger zone for cars, pedestrians, and basically anything within striking distance of a road.

Well, if you survived on German roads, those are cakewalks.
If there is one people on this planet considering driving to be more warlike than Germans, they've got to be invented.
Remember: this is the country where there are no speed limits on freeways (and those speed limits that are there are considered to be laughed at.)

[Rathark]

As far as traffic hazards are concerned, South Korea is off the scale. The majority of foreign workers refuse to drive there.

[pellaeons_scion]

Hey...I did my learners in Sydney, and now Im a completely fine driver. Its everyone else who is wrong!!!

Personally I would have thought Adelaide should have got this list, except that it wuld boil down to one thing "WHAT RULES!" Ill take driving in Sydney over Adelaide anyday of the week.

[Dennis Toy]

New York Drivers are bad considering that people in NYC dont drive.[/quote]