Best comeback to "That wasn't part of the deal!"

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-12-06 06:38pm

Okay, we see this all the time in movies which involve double-crosses. One character, upon something unexpected happening, exclaims, "That wasn't part of the plan/deal!" The double-crosser then always has a snappy or sinister comeback. So what are the best ones you've heard?

Of course, we have Lando and Darth Vader in Empire Strikes Back.
LANDO: That was never a part of the agreement, nor was giving Han to this bounty hunter!
VADER: Perhaps you think you're being treated unfairly?
LANDO: ... No.
VADER: Good, it would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here.

And again.

LANDO: You said they were to remain in Cloud City under my supervision!
VADER: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
[LANDO brushes his fingers across his neck.]

Then there's Homer Simpson and a Columbian sugar dealer. Homer is picking up sugar, which has been banned in Springfield, to illegally smuggle it into the town.
DEALER: Okay, we gave you the sugar, now give us the money.
HOMER (driving away in boat): That wasn't part of the deal!
[DEALER pulls out a contract and examines it.]
DEALER: Hey, he's right! Who wrote this thing?!

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-12-06 06:43pm

Look! A Turtle.

You'd be surprised how universal that statement is.

Post by **weemadando** » 2003-12-06 08:23pm

From a WarHammer RPG,

KNIGHT: So, finally my dealings with you are complete. I'll be taking you to the nearest gallows.

Me: That wasn't part of the deal!

KNIGHT: I don't give my word to such scum as you. You only assumed I do. *points sword at throat*

Me: Errrrr... Why did Jonny fall of his horse?

KNIGHT: What?

Me; Because someone threw a chest at him.

KNIGHT: *blank confused stare, lowers sword just a touch*

Me: *bolts*

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-12-06 08:47pm

Random schmuck: "That wasn't part of the deal!"

Baddie: "Neither was me not shooting you... catch my drift?"

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-12-06 08:50pm

#1: That wasn't part of the deal!!!

#2: What deal?

shoots number 1*

The Kernel · Post by **The Kernel** » 2003-12-06 09:08pm

Girl: Okay, now you give me head.

Guy: That wasn't part of the deal!

Psycho Smiley · Post by **Psycho Smiley** » 2003-12-06 09:11pm

I've always liked "It's only a deal until one of us says it isn't."

Einhander Sn0m4n · Post by **Einhander Sn0m4n** » 2003-12-06 09:18pm

BOFH: Okay, now you get the hell out of here or you'll never work with a computer again!

Newly-Discovered Spammer: But that wasn't part of the deal!!

BOFH: Neither was my website getting blacklisted due to your abuse and my shoving my LART so far up your un-K-Y-ed ass you'll be tasting shit-covered wood for a fucking MONTH!

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-12-06 09:38pm

*Look at the contract
Whiny guy: All this says is "Your mother was Hamster and your Father smelt of elderberries"???
*Throws cow at whiny idiot.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-12-06 11:52pm

Schlock Mercenary:

UNS GENERAL: Lord P'D'K'Tag, the codes you gave me did not work! I'm trapped in this system!

F'SHERL GANNI LORD: Let's review our deal, shall we? You promised me a 'win-win' situation, promising to stop this war after a single buuthandi was destroyed, using information that would allow you to overturn the governments of human space, presumably for your own profit.

UNS GENERAL: But I never got that information! It wasn't where you said it would be!

F'SHERL GANNI LORD: I never said 'where'. I said 'what'. It's not my fault your men tore apart Target Echo when they should have been trying to drag it home. At any rate, I've decided to stop the war by destroying all combatants. It's more of a traditional 'win-lose' situation. You get to lose.

UNS GENERAL: So you've betrayed me, then? Given me bogus passage codes?

F'SHERL GANNI LORD: The codes I gave you were good. If they no longer work, that's not my fault. My point was that I'm not longer motivated to help you. The codes are irrelevant.

UNS GENERAL: They're relevant to me, you backstabbing demon!

F'SHERL GANNI LORD: Relevance is a matter of perspective, my duplicitous, demonizing friend. From my perspective, the galaxy will be a better place once I have rendered humanity irrelevant.