Okay, define a crush, feelings and love

[FaxModem1]

What are the differences between the three of these things? Just for easy identification, and if you want, what are the other names for when you care about someone romantically.

[Howedar]

Crush: good friend with some attraction. Me-centric.
Feelings: Long-term crush, some attention to the other person instead of simple selfishness.
Love: I do not feel qualified to comment on this one yet.

[AnimeJet]

IMO..
Crush: Someone you like romantically, usually severe but goes away quickly.
Feelings: The left-overs of a crush.
Love: There are 3 differends kinds of love, but I assume you mean romance-wise.. hm.. its when you care about someone else's happiness over your own, when you would do anything for them even if it means you will suffer.

Bah, I'm just a kid, what do I know >_<

[Darth Wong]

A crush is what you have when you want a girl and she doesn't know you exist.

Feelings are what you have when you actually begin to care about this girl.

Love is what you feel when the girl and you are one. When you know her secrets and she knows yours, and when you cannot imagine yourself happy unless she is happy. But those are just words. Ultimately, love is something that you cannot understand until you've experienced it. Particularly when you've experienced parental love, which is an entirely different kind of love because it is devoid of attraction or sexuality yet it still encompasses some of the same feelings.

[Nathan F]

A crush is what you have when you want a girl and she doesn't know you exist.

Feelings are what you have when you actually begin to care about this girl.

Love is what you feel when the girl and you are one. When you know her secrets and she knows yours, and when you cannot imagine yourself happy unless she is happy. But those are just words. Ultimately, love is something that you cannot understand until you've experienced it. Particularly when you've experienced parental love, which is an entirely different kind of love because it is devoid of attraction or sexuality yet it still encompasses some of the same feelings.

What's the 'you want a girl and she does know you exist, and might possibly be interested in return'?

[Darth Wong]

What's the 'you want a girl and she does know you exist, and might possibly be interested in return'?

Same as "unrequited love" (ie- a crush) until her reciprocal interest becomes something more than a mere possibility.

[Howedar]

Would that not depend on whether or not Nathan's hypothetical male cares about said girl?

Your definitions do not seem to mention the other person's feelings in any case. Which is not to say you're wrong, just pointing that out.

[Crayz9000]

Would that not depend on whether or not Nathan's hypothetical male cares about said girl?

Your definitions do not seem to mention the other person's feelings in any case. Which is not to say you're wrong, just pointing that out.

Well, from my experience, love between two people comes where both people are willing to do just about anything (if not anything) for each other. It has a lot of other things that accompany it--like Wong mentioned, when both of you know each other's secrets, when neither of you can imagine yourselves being happy unless the other is happy, when you can complete each other's thoughts without even thinking about it.

[Darth Wong]

Would that not depend on whether or not Nathan's hypothetical male cares about said girl?

If she doesn't care about the guy, and the guy says he cares about her, I quite frankly think he's just infatuated with her rather than in love with her. How can you genuinely care about someone if you don't really know her, and how can you know her if there's no two-way relationship? Unless you're one of those pathetic "platonic friends" that's trapped in relationship hell, but even that is really just a scam; she's keeping you as an emergency backup boyfriend.

Your definitions do not seem to mention the other person's feelings in any case. Which is not to say you're wrong, just pointing that out.

Sure they do; my definition of romantic love requires the other person's participation.

[Gandalf]

Crush: Infatuation based on little contact.

Feelings: Knowing the person, seeking further involement with them.

Love: Not qualified to talk about it.

[Dalton]

A crush is a deep attraction to and desire to be with someone, often impulsive.

Feelings are stronger emotional bonds you have towards a person, but aren't quite at the stage of love, maybe not even at the stage of crush. Just a connection you feel you share with someone.

Love is the feeling you get when you're scared shitless - with your heart in your throat - of telling the person you love that you love them, and the warm glow you get after you tell them so and they don't completely freak out.

[PainRack]

It is remarkable how similar the pattern for love is to insanity.

[Crayz9000]

It is remarkable how similar the pattern for love is to insanity.

Hormones can do that sometimes.

[LadyTevar]

Love is when you honestly want that person's body, and yet when they say they're tired or sick you instantly drop all thoughts of sex for just holding them and making them feel better.

[Zac Naloen]

Love is what you feel when the girl and you are one. When you know her secrets and she knows yours, and when you cannot imagine yourself happy unless she is happy. But those are just words. Ultimately, love is something that you cannot understand until you've experienced it. Particularly when you've experienced parental love, which is an entirely different kind of love because it is devoid of attraction or sexuality yet it still encompasses some of the same feelings.

okay, by this definition, is it possibly to be in love with someone but not actually realise thats what it is? For example, in september i met a girl, since then i have gotten to the point where i know all of this girls secrets, she has literally said to me three or four times, "you can't tell this to anyone else" and she knows mine, but we aren't "dating" or anything like that. Although, i would prefer it if we were.

[EmperorChrostas the Cruel]

You left out an important middle ground.
Infatuation.
That is the beginning of love with no realism. "She/He's PERFECT!" is the battlecry of the infatuated. The inability to see faults, or the desire to see the loved one as a flawless person, is the very definition of being infatuated.
Love comes later, when you can see the problems and faults for what they are, (Part of the package deal that a real complete human realy IS) and love them even while aware of their faults.
Lady Tevar said it best so far.

[Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi]

A crush is when you're attracted to someone, but you have no chance with them.

Feelings are somewhat stronger bonds, and more likely to be toward someone you know.

Love is pretty much the same, except for stronger feelings toward someone you know a lot more.

And of course, what better person to discuss this than me, someone who got their first kiss only today when a girl was paid $20 to do so.

[Larz]

Crush- Basically, you are attracted to an indivdual based on certian attributes which you find appealing, but past that theres no real binding force.

Feelings- To begin moving away from self-serving ideas and towards mutual existance. This is when 'true' emotions begin to get involved (not hormones) and rationality starts to become fuzzy.

Love- To hold all things at mutual between you and the other party involved. Emotions holds much more importance over rationality in the relationship as the two partys work towards a melting pot equilibrium.

... $20 dollars, I think you overpaid friend...

[GrandMasterTerwynn]

What are the differences between the three of these things? Just for easy identification, and if you want, what are the other names for when you care about someone romantically.

The process of getting two peoples of the opposite (or, if you want, the same) gender together is one that has several steps.

1) Crush: Everybody has them at some point or another. And those who say they haven't had a crush are either nine years old, or lying. It is essentially an expansion of the set of feelings one experiences when they see a highly attractive person of the gender of their choice walking down the street. Except that the crush adds the concept of "I want them" on top of the basic concept of "I wouldn't mind doing them." Crushes are purely hormonal in nature. If left alone, crushes usually wither and fade very quickly. Though for some deviants, a crush can develop feelings of possessiveness. This generates an obsession with the other person. Such people are generally known as stalkers.

2) Having survived the crush stage, you progress into "feelings". "Feelings" are what happens when you put two people with a mutual crush together and one of them doesn't immediately take out a restraining order on the other. When one claims to have "feelings" for someone else, they're generally saying "I wouldn't mind seeing if there is something more here." If both parties develop mutual feelings for each other, then the barriers between them erode, leading to:

3) Infatuation. Infatuation is the last hormonally driven stage. As a result, it is quite intense. A victim of infatuation tends to think of the other party constantly and suffers withdrawal symptoms without them. One also tends to gloss over all the bad parts about the other person, while focusing exclusively on the good. Many junior high and high school relationships rarely get past this phase. However, infatuation can never last for two reasons. First, the typical person is incapable of sustaining such high levels of emotional intensity for long, without burning out. And, as that saturation level is being hit, one starts to notice the other person's flaws. The end of a relationship based on infatuation can often be remarkably spectacular.

4) True love is what is left after infatuation blew itself apart on a destructive feedback loop. Those lucky survivors who came out on the other side realize that the other person is an irritating and idiosyncratic collection of quirks and flaws. However, they can rest assured that the other person is fully aware of this as well. This leads to the basic premise that: "If you can trust the other person with the knowledge that you are, in fact, a fucking idiot (when you looked like Superman during the infatuation phase,) then you can probably trust them with anything." The beneficial side-effect of this is that after the two parties have accepted each other as non-ideal human beings, more energies are devoted to the nebulous concept of "us." Which is to say they tend to view each other in terms of their relationship with each other, as opposed to viewing them in more individualistic (and selfish) terms.

[Zac Naloen]

my first kiss cost me a bottle of schmirnoff ice... however, i probably would have got it even if i hadn't given her the drink lol.

[Anarchist Bunny]

In my book, a crush is when you think you like someone, before you know them.

[PainRack]

What are the differences between the three of these things? Just for easy identification, and if you want, what are the other names for when you care about someone romantically.

The process of getting two peoples of the opposite (or, if you want, the same) gender together is one that has several steps.

1) Crush: Everybody has them at some point or another. And those who say they haven't had a crush are either nine years old, or lying. It is essentially an expansion of the set of feelings one experiences when they see a highly attractive person of the gender of their choice walking down the street. Except that the crush adds the concept of "I want them" on top of the basic concept of "I wouldn't mind doing them." Crushes are purely hormonal in nature. If left alone, crushes usually wither and fade very quickly. Though for some deviants, a crush can develop feelings of possessiveness. This generates an obsession with the other person. Such people are generally known as stalkers.

2) Having survived the crush stage, you progress into "feelings". "Feelings" are what happens when you put two people with a mutual crush together and one of them doesn't immediately take out a restraining order on the other. When one claims to have "feelings" for someone else, they're generally saying "I wouldn't mind seeing if there is something more here." If both parties develop mutual feelings for each other, then the barriers between them erode, leading to:

3) Infatuation. Infatuation is the last hormonally driven stage. As a result, it is quite intense. A victim of infatuation tends to think of the other party constantly and suffers withdrawal symptoms without them. One also tends to gloss over all the bad parts about the other person, while focusing exclusively on the good. Many junior high and high school relationships rarely get past this phase. However, infatuation can never last for two reasons. First, the typical person is incapable of sustaining such high levels of emotional intensity for long, without burning out. And, as that saturation level is being hit, one starts to notice the other person's flaws. The end of a relationship based on infatuation can often be remarkably spectacular.

4) True love is what is left after infatuation blew itself apart on a destructive feedback loop. Those lucky survivors who came out on the other side realize that the other person is an irritating and idiosyncratic collection of quirks and flaws. However, they can rest assured that the other person is fully aware of this as well. This leads to the basic premise that: "If you can trust the other person with the knowledge that you are, in fact, a fucking idiot (when you looked like Superman during the infatuation phase,) then you can probably trust them with anything." The beneficial side-effect of this is that after the two parties have accepted each other as non-ideal human beings, more energies are devoted to the nebulous concept of "us." Which is to say they tend to view each other in terms of their relationship with each other, as opposed to viewing them in more individualistic (and selfish) terms.

Bravo.

[Vympel]

If we had some sort of hackneyed mush ridden love forum (no thanks) that would be stickied. That was very insightful.

[Peregrin Toker]

Isn't love pretty much the same as a willingness to sacrifice oneself in order to protect the person(s) which are being loved??

(sorry for my clunkiness)