What do you do if the puddytat smells?

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2003-12-11 11:28pm

Heh....something from another site

Slowly making your way down the length of their soft skin, running your tongue down their tummy as it leaves a wet trail behind it ... almost like a train of passion. The light whisp of hair that catches his cheek as he slowly kisses his way down ... slowly, carefully, passionately ... till he was finally th.... WHAT THE FUCK... God woman, what ya been eating - ya not actually supposed ta feed THAT kitty the Tuna!!

So what do you do if the cat smells?

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-12-11 11:35pm

Get in the shower with cat, shut door, turn on water. Dump some dish soap on cat. Let sit for a few minutes under the water. Open door, watch cat explode out of door, chase cat down to dry it off.

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-12-11 11:39pm

I assume that the previous step includes wearing a cup and/or heavy jeans when you do that.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2003-12-11 11:41pm

I dont mean that cat, you muttons! I mean that cat

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-12-11 11:50pm

Well, if that cat smells, then maybe it'd also be a good idea to wear a cup

Seriously, though, I'd start making sure that she was eating some live yogurt...

El Moose Monstero · Post by **El Moose Monstero** » 2003-12-11 11:51pm

Interestingly enough, or not, my room's was smelling of fish for most of the middle of the term, all the people on my floor were telling me to wash my sheets and be more careful about who I slept with, took me ages to find that smell, turns out, it was a lamp which I got in a yard sale. I dont particularly want to contemplate how it got that smell in the first place.

Sr.mal · Post by **Sr.mal** » 2003-12-12 02:35am

More like, what DON'T you do when that cat smells.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2003-12-12 02:44am

Crayz9000 wrote:I assume that the previous step includes wearing a cup and/or heavy jeans when you do that.

Do I look like HemlockGrey to you?

Vertigo1 · Post by **Vertigo1** » 2003-12-12 03:04am

Isn't that what they make Febreeze for?

jenat-lai · Post by **jenat-lai** » 2003-12-12 03:06am

shes not meant to put the soap inside it methinks... If it smells bad, it's probably a yeast or other form of infection. It's not healthy for her, get her to go see a doctor about it. Better that than cervixial cancer in a few years time.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2003-12-12 03:09am

jenat-lai wrote:shes not meant to put the soap inside it methinks... If it smells bad, it's probably a yeast or other form of infection. It's not healthy for her, get her to go see a doctor about it. Better that than cervixial cancer in a few years time.

SO much better to be a bloke....

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-12-12 03:27am

So, if you're getting ready to go down on her, and she smells like the grease trap at Long John Silver's, how do you politely break the news?

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-12-12 04:12am

Crayz9000 wrote:Well, if that cat smells, then maybe it'd also be a good idea to wear a cup

Seriously, though, I'd start making sure that she was eating some live yogurt...

Could also be bacterial vaginosis, which can be caused by a bad pH interaction, or so I recall from the ex Mrs. Duke. Damn woman had a pH balance that could be kicked ass over teakettle by bottled water; unfortunately, it went Charlie Manson in response to Mr. Duke's, ah, protein legions, on a couple occasions.

All of this by way of saying that a malodorous feline is sometimes caused by an actual medical condition.

Stuart Mackey · Post by **Stuart Mackey** » 2003-12-12 04:56am

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:
Crayz9000 wrote:Well, if that cat smells, then maybe it'd also be a good idea to wear a cup

Seriously, though, I'd start making sure that she was eating some live yogurt...
Could also be bacterial vaginosis, which can be caused by a bad pH interaction, or so I recall from the ex Mrs. Duke. Damn woman had a pH balance that could be kicked ass over teakettle by bottled water; unfortunately, it went Charlie Manson in response to Mr. Duke's, ah, protein legions, on a couple occasions.

All of this by way of saying that a malodorous feline is sometimes caused by an actual medical condition.

Quote codes seemed to be screwed? or is that just me?

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-12-12 10:31am

RedImperator wrote:So, if you're getting ready to go down on her, and she smells like the grease trap at Long John Silver's, how do you politely break the news?

ask her if she's got any tartar sauce?

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-12-12 11:31am

It could just be her natural smell, but also check for infection.. I mean, it's not naturally supposed to smell like roses and some people smell stronger than others. Or just spray some breath freshner down there next time

Crayz9000 · Post by **Crayz9000** » 2003-12-12 12:09pm

Raoul Duke, Jr. wrote:Could also be bacterial vaginosis, which can be caused by a bad pH interaction, or so I recall from the ex Mrs. Duke.

That's what I was implying. Acidophilus (found in live yogurt) can help fix pH balances.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-12-12 12:14pm

Trytostaydead wrote:It could just be her natural smell, but also check for infection.. I mean, it's not naturally supposed to smell like roses and some people smell stronger than others. Or just spray some breath freshner down there next time

A healthy vagina should have a fairly mild and not altogether unpleasant smell. It should not smell like rotting fish. That's some kind of bacterial or diet-related problem.

Trytostaydead · Post by **Trytostaydead** » 2003-12-12 12:20pm

Darth Wong wrote:
Trytostaydead wrote:It could just be her natural smell, but also check for infection.. I mean, it's not naturally supposed to smell like roses and some people smell stronger than others. Or just spray some breath freshner down there next time
A healthy vagina should have a fairly mild and not altogether unpleasant smell. It should not smell like rotting fish. That's some kind of bacterial or diet-related problem.

I know.. I was just saying though it could be relative in the smell.. I mean you gotta admit.. going down on her just doesn't tickle you elmo regardless, right?

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-12-12 12:28pm

Just do the tried and true sniff test gentelmen when you want ot avoid those unpleasant surprises. In a passionate manner kiss your lady from her neck, slowly down her breasts and down her belly, around the belly button area start sniffing, hopefully she is so caught up by your kissing (loud slurppy kisses the key here boys) she does not notice and is quivering with anticipation.

If its wretchedly bad, you should get notice around the belly button region, most definately by the top of her pelvic bone you should be given ample warning.

If it smells like the dead marshes you simply swicth gears and kiss your way slowly back up and it just looks like you were being romantic. If your feeling particualrly adventureous you simply continue kissing downward, avoidiong the biohazard and kiss her all the way downt o her feet. She'll be turned on that you did that and only midly disappointed that you didn;t make a pitstop and you avoid the troubling question of "What's wrong?"

You could also decided that a rimjob would satisfy her oral needs and no woman who gets a rimjob is going to demand Cunninglingus. That would be too selfish. (Yes I think licking some woman's ass beats eating a rotting whale carcass cunt.)

Chardok · Post by **Chardok** » 2003-12-12 12:53pm

I take the covert route. slide one finger in, then, oops I have the sniffles, rub the ol finger under the nose while taking awhiff. If it's coated with nastiness, I get "Tired"

course, that was when I actually HAD a sex drive....I'm so pathetic....

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-12-12 01:06pm

Trytostaydead wrote:I know.. I was just saying though it could be relative in the smell.. I mean you gotta admit.. going down on her just doesn't tickle you elmo regardless, right?

No more than going down on her turns her on, I imagine. Maybe that's why we don't really engage in foreplay any more. She just tells me to stick it in, and I obey.

The Cleric · Post by **The Cleric** » 2003-12-12 06:06pm

That's the way it should be done

.