Do very sexual women turn you off??

[LT.Hit-Man]

If a woman is sexually free and adventurous, does it turn you off? Do men really prefer the chaste type?

I know I tend to be somewhat aggressive sexually, am I setting myself up for disappointment by being so open with my desires and experiences?

No I don't find them a turn off as long they have some self respict and it's good that you are being open, hell I'm on the male side of what your saying I'm not overly scummy about but I am frank and to the point and so far I have nothing but one big headache over it so I have no idea how it is for you but better to be up front and honest about things even if it cuases you no end of grief all in all it's best to be who you becuase when you find some who takes you as you are it's fair bet that you will not get stabed in the back.

[THEHOOLIGANJEDI]

I see no problem with sexually aggressive women or women who know what the want in general. I just don't find submissive women to be as alluring. Whil I would love an aggresive woman I have no problem with anybody who would be in the grey area of my two examples.

[THEHOOLIGANJEDI]

If a woman is sexually free and adventurous, does it turn you off? Do men really prefer the chaste type?

I know I tend to be somewhat aggressive sexually, am I setting myself up for disappointment by being so open with my desires and experiences?

Actually it's the opposite for me. Demure and/or submissive women are a turnoff.

I agree partially.

[Darth Wong]

No offense, but especially you.

Perhaps you need to listen to your own advice for once.

I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Kel, so feel free to enlighten me, either here or over PM, please.

Not to get involved (and I promise not to continue this if it becomes troublesome), but perhaps she's talking about the way you made generalizations about men based on your experience but bristled when Shaka made a generalization about women based on his experience.

[Zaia]

I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Kel, so feel free to enlighten me, either here or over PM, please.

Not to get involved (and I promise not to continue this if it becomes troublesome), but perhaps she's talking about the way you made generalizations about men based on your experience but bristled when Shaka made a generalization about women based on his experience.

No, she was referring to something else that we are currently discussing in SoS. Although, who knows, maybe she meant what you said too.

And you don't need to promise to be quiet about anything--if you feel I'm being hypocritical too, by all means, say so. I admit I get easily annoyed by generalizations about women and try, when I make generalizations about men, to be sure to emphasize that I don't mean all men I've had dealings with, but I'm sure I've screwed up before and come across sounding like an ass, so what's one more time....

[Nova Andromeda]

Damn, that's what I've been saying all this time. I'm pretty sure not a whole lot of people feel the same way, though. For example, I'd probably find Acacia more attractive if I hadn't read some of her posts and hadn't heard she was from Trollingkingdom.com.

I am sorry if you dislike my posts and opinions, but it most certainly not true that I am from Troll Kingdom. I had never even heard of it except from the various posts concerning Raoul Duke Jr, The Question and Captain Chewbacca. Whomever informed you was mistaken.

Back to the topic,

What do you think the better option is for someone who leaves their sexual options open? To be completely honest and upfront about it or to keep it to themselves in order not to scare off the less open minded?

[Public Advisary]My opinions probably reflects << 1% of people in general.[/Public Advisary]
--I would match how open I am about such matter to how open the other parties are about such matters. In other words, if I'm around my conservative christian friends I will not delve into sexually explicit subjects unless those friends bring it up first. However, I would not lie about my position on the subject since I view that as destructive to relationships (both between friends and romantic partners). You would have to be rather important (and unfair to me) for me to create and mantain a certain persona for you constructed on lies and deception.

[EDIT]P.S. -- I don't have any problem with sexually "liberated" women being upfront, don't use that as a criteria in judging their honesty or ability to maintain a monogomous relationship, and hold it against people who are not honest about their position (unless they have a legitimate reason like being around judgmental people).

[Next of Kin]

To be completely honest and upfront about it or to keep it to themselves in order not to scare off the less open minded?

Better to be up front in the beginning than to lead someone in a charade only to suprise them later on.

[Shaka[Zulu]]

No offense, but especially you.

Perhaps you need to listen to your own advice for once.

I honestly have no idea what you're talking about, Kel, so feel free to enlighten me, either here or over PM, please.

Not to get involved (and I promise not to continue this if it becomes troublesome), but perhaps she's talking about the way you made generalizations about men based on your experience but bristled when Shaka made a generalization about women based on his experience.

actually, she bristled at Gil, and then unloaded both barrels at me when I poked my head in to offer supporting observations for his case. I even made substantial effort to make it clear that I did not include her in any generalizations I made. Her very presence on this board marks her as a truly exceptional example of womanhood IMHO.

[edit]Just so all the ladies of SD.net know... I see you ALL as such exceptions... I can only hope that your numbers swell[/edit]

hell... I was only trying to offer objective observations and interpretations of *average* female behavior thru the application of certain facets of darwinism -- at least as objective as any male can possibly be on the subject, and dont get me wrong, I see a great deal of blatant stupidity in average MALE behavior, much of it also influenced heavily by evolution... especially regarding women (and Im guilty of my share of it, so dont anyone dare say I claim any kind of high ground).

my regret is that Z took my observations so far out of context -- and from there to being personally insulting -- so easily. It is partially my fault for letting my language be so easily misinterpreted.

I am sure if I just had a resurgence of FIMD that someone will let me know.

anyway... to make a comment OnTop for the thread:

I love it when women assert their sexuality, but like someone else said, there is a line at which it transitions from being a good thing, to being too much of a good thing. where exactly that line lies is dependent on the observer(s) and the situation as much as the subject. My likes will almost certainly differ from most others.

[CaptainChewbacca]

I find it interesting that some of you assume that you or your parents can tell if someone is sexually free by appearence. Is this an example of the fallacy that a woman who indulges her urges is cheap and easy and looks used? This along with the erroneous assumption that sexual freedom automatically means commitment issues and a propensity for infidelity is quite sad to me. Men do not get these presuppostitions heaped upon them based on their sexual experience.

I also noted the tired old saw "there are women you sleep with and women you marry". How very Victorian! Who would have thought to see such an artifact on a board with an eye to the future.

Personally, I base my liasons on personal chemistry more than looks. Of course, like anyone else, a filthy, oily, smelly person will most likely be avoided. Some of my best experiences have been with intelligent, witty and attentive types as opposed to extremely attractive yet somewhat vapid sorts who know they are good looking and depend on it for everything. Personality can really tip the balance for a man.

Personally, I intend the woman I sleep with to be the woman I marry, but that's just the "fundie" in me talking.

[Knife]

Back to the topic,

What do you think the better option is for someone who leaves their sexual options open? To be completely honest and upfront about it or to keep it to themselves in order not to scare off the less open minded?

Depends on how deep of a relationship you intend to have with the person. Quite frankely, if someone is looking to just hook up for the night or the weekend and leave it at that, very little in the way of personal infomation need be exchanged.

If a person intends on carring out some semblence of continued contact with the other, then a mininum of info has to be exchanged. The deeper you get into personal relationship with a person, the more you owe it to them to know who and what you are so they can make an informed desecion on the relationship.

[Edi]

What do you think the better option is for someone who leaves their sexual options open? To be completely honest and upfront about it or to keep it to themselves in order not to scare off the less open minded?

I think it's best just to be oneself. I.e. being honest about what you're like, but that doesn't mean you have to unload everything on the other party all at once either. For someone who is not used to sexual openness (but isn't opposed to it on religious or other grounds), it might take a while to adjust, but it always depends on the individual.

If somebody is attracted to you at first but then just up and decides that because you're sexually open-minded and expressive, they back off, well, they weren't worthy of you to begin with. Trying to hide things isn't going to work anyway.

Edi

[Zaia]

Look, I need to apologize. I hate to make excuses, but I need you to know why I've been on a hair-trigger recently, most specifically in this thread. I've been sick since Friday night (those of you who talk to me over AIM can verify this). I just keep getting worse instead of better, and was supposed to leave to go on vacation tonight but I won't be going because I'm too sick. Yesterday I cried for three hours on the phone, trying to sort through an issue about an alcoholic friend. I found out two days ago that three friends I've had for years appeared to have stabbed me in the back, the man I love has disappeared out of my life, and I've been trying, however unconvincingly, to defend myself against the charge of being a hypocrite from another friend, so...I've been having a rough week.

I apologize to anyone on which I took out my hurt, anger and frustrations, especially to you, Gil and Shaka. I hope you don't let this affect your opinions of me, but I will understand if it does.

[Knife]

Damn Zaia, life seems to kick good people when they are down. I am sorry Brian didn't work out for ya, and I am sorry your friends didn't really turn out to be friends.

Tomarrow is another day hon, more friends, more men, and more life to be had.

[Zaia]

Damn Zaia, life seems to kick good people when they are down. I am sorry Brian didn't work out for ya, and I am sorry your friends didn't really turn out to be friends.

Tomarrow is another day hon, more friends, more men, and more life to be had.

Thanks, hon. I'm not trying to hijack the thread asking for sympathy; I just wanted to apologize for my attitude lately and try to convey that I'm not a raving psychobitch.

So.....*cues on-topic discussion*

[Knife]

So.....*cues on-topic discussion*

Yeah, sexy chicks who are open are cool.

*shifts eyes back and forth*

*Good, nobody saw my hijack*

[RogueIce]

Well, on the grounds of this debate that has been flaming it's way along, I too have observed the whole "girls go after looks" thing too. I really haven't, in the course of my life, come across too many examples of the "personality wins" thing. Maybe later, in college and so on I will, but so far as High Schoolers are concerned, it's pretty much a lost cause.

Of course, the people I knew in HS (particulary the new bunch of Freshmen my last year) were seriously screwed up to begin with...family problems, emotional disorders, and God knows what else. And that's each have those problems. So maybe my experiences are a bit skewed because they have other issues as well (least of which is a relationship!).

[jegs2]

If a woman is sexually free and adventurous, does it turn you off? Do men really prefer the chaste type?

I tend to like women who dress tastefully. IMO, that means an attractive dress or skirt with nicely-done hair (women in jeans do nothing for me). Some of the women who seem chaste leave a lot to one's imagination, which can be a good thing. A sexually aggressive woman would probably put me off somewhat.

I know I tend to be somewhat aggressive sexually, am I setting myself up for disappointment by being so open with my desires and experiences?

Well, my wife was that way with me when we met, so I know that seems to throw out the window much of what I've already written.

[Nova Andromeda]

--From what I've seen men with GAME (read players) have a FAR better chance with women than good looking men. You can be down right ugly and pick up women if you have GAME, however, you haven't got a prayer if you don't know how to "communicate" with women and are good looking.

[Shaka[Zulu]]

I apologize to anyone on which I took out my hurt, anger and frustrations, especially to you, Gil and Shaka. I hope you don't let this affect your opinions of me, but I will understand if it does.

Z... Let me say that AFAIC, there is nothing to forgive... Intense stress can do that... happens to me, and once cost me someone I loved. you are not alone.

[Gil Hamilton]

I apologize to anyone on which I took out my hurt, anger and frustrations, especially to you, Gil and Shaka. I hope you don't let this affect your opinions of me, but I will understand if it does.

Don't worry, Zaia-kitten, I still am your number one biggest fan. I don't sweat such things.

[Zaia]

*runs up to Shaka, wraps arms around him and kisses him* Thank you for understanding!!

*lets go of Shaka, runs over to Gil, wraps arms around him, and kisses him* "Zaia-kitten?!!!" That's the cutest name ever! Thank you too!!

[Edit: And just so you know, I had on a special non-flavoured, anti-bacterial lip gloss so I wouldn't get you sick when I kissed you both. ]


Oh, and incidentally, the aforementioned man that I love reappeared tonight, so things are slowly but surely getting better...

[Darth Wong]

This thread has been a good reminder of why I don't miss the single life at all.

[Spanky The Dolphin]

*loving hugs and kisses for Zaia*

[Shaka[Zulu]]

*wakes up an hour later... groggy as hell, with what feels like cracked ribs*


what *ouch* the... *cusses in pain* did anybody get the liscense plate on the truck that just crushed me? *passes out again*

[edit]has very pleasant dreams while passed out[/edit]

[Knife]

This thread has been a good reminder of why I don't miss the single life at all.

Amen, in a non religeous way.