What to do with irrational girl?

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Rob Wilson
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Re: What to do with irrational girl?

Post by Rob Wilson »

j1j2j3 wrote:I have question, I hope Lord Wong will comment on this issue.

My girlfriend is very irrational, not quite a fundie yet but on the way. I get depressed when thinking about our future. Like Wong said in another thread when a problem comes up her reaction is always to 'lets just forget about this' other than 'lets see what the problem is'. She is to put simply , irrational.

I have contemplated breaking up, but I really love her and we've been together for more than 3 years and we are also planning to get married.


I would like some advice on how to educate her in :

1. rational thinking
2. focusing on problems on hand
3. not being a fundie.
The rational thinking part is (as everyone has pointed out) a day-to-day exercise. Don't belittle her, just ask her what she thinks of X story in the news, then talk it through with her to show any fallacies. Remember to concentrate on correcting the News story, not her. That way she's more likely to start critiquing the news and other things she hears herself. If you make it about correcting her, she'll get defensive and even more entrenched in her way of thinking.
The Focusing on the problem at hand issue should just be a case of pointing out the consequences of not doing so. If she thinks it's more hard work if she ignores it, she'll start to deal with things more immediately.
On both of those points you have to be careful not to end up nagging her, as it'll just drive you both apart.
As to her beliefs, well the rest of your comments here seem to point to her accepting your not sharing her faith. All you can do is play the long game like Mike did, show her that not sharing her religion doesn't make you an immoral person and maybe she'll start seeing things from your point of view.
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j1j2j3
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Post by j1j2j3 »

Thanks a lot guys :)
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