German Man Amputates Own Penis

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-08-16 11:14am

Yuri Prime wrote:My question is this: Who the hell deserves to have a penis that could take a knife to it?

Well, one could say that he was very manly to have the courage to cut off his own.. Manhood... For the sake of his chastity. Of course, one could also say that absolutely no other redeeming trait whatsoever exists inside of this individual and that would be accurate.

Yuri Prime · Post by **Yuri Prime** » 2003-08-16 11:29am

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:
Yuri Prime wrote:My question is this: Who the hell deserves to have a penis that could take a knife to it?
Well, one could say that he was very manly to have the courage to cut off his own.. Manhood... For the sake of his chastity. Of course, one could also say that absolutely no other redeeming trait whatsoever exists inside of this individual and that would be accurate.

I was hoping nobody would have an answer.

Anyhow, I've never associated males with an overwhelming desire for chastity.

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-08-16 11:53am

Fuck.

Yuri Prime · Post by **Yuri Prime** » 2003-08-16 11:55am

HemlockGrey wrote:Fuck.

That sums things up nicely. The pain that people will subject themselves to escape something they don't like always amazes me.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-08-16 12:10pm

He can have it framed in some formaldehyde and out on the mantel piece to remind him to avoid temptation of sexual delights.

Demiurge · Post by **Demiurge** » 2003-08-16 12:29pm

As long as he doesn't go around showing everyone his severed wang, it doesn't bother me. Otherwise he's going to get punched in his still-attached testicles.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-08-16 12:41pm

Admiral Valdemar wrote:He can have it framed in some formaldehyde and out on the mantel piece to remind him to avoid temptation of sexual delights.

Why do that when he can put it on show and win the Turner prize?

SAMAS · Post by **SAMAS** » 2003-08-16 12:43pm

The Duchess of Zeon wrote:
Yuri Prime wrote:My question is this: Who the hell deserves to have a penis that could take a knife to it?
Well, one could say that he was very manly to have the courage to cut off his own.. Manhood... For the sake of his chastity. Of course, one could also say that absolutely no other redeeming trait whatsoever exists inside of this individual and that would be accurate.

It's quite a paradox.

On one hand, it's commendable that he had the dedication to do it.

On the other hand, HE CUT OFF HIS DICK!!

Then again, at least he had the sense to Darwin himself in a non-fatal way.

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-08-16 12:43pm

Yikes! how much vodka did he have to drink before that????

:::::Crosses legs and winces::::::

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-08-16 12:44pm

It's gonna be a new trend. I fucking know it.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-08-16 03:06pm

The problem is that he cut off the WRONG PART - removing your penis has no effect on your level of sexual desire. It just increases your sexual frustration.

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-08-16 04:02pm

Iceberg wrote:The problem is that he cut off the WRONG PART - removing your penis has no effect on your level of sexual desire. It just increases your sexual frustration.

In fact, if he wanted to make himself an asexual being, he should have cut off his testicles instead.

"Mom, what's a castrati?"
"I don't know, but it sounds like something spicy!"

Drooling Iguana · Post by **Drooling Iguana** » 2003-08-16 04:33pm

HemlockGrey wrote:Fuck.

I thought the whole point was to stop him from doing that.

The Duchess of Zeon · Post by **The Duchess of Zeon** » 2003-08-17 03:52am

Iceberg wrote:The problem is that he cut off the WRONG PART - removing your penis has no effect on your level of sexual desire. It just increases your sexual frustration.

Well, maybe he was practicing his cutting skills for that operation.

J · Post by J » 2003-08-17 12:48pm

I remember reading about a home vasectomy kit that some prankster was selling on ebay earlier this year. Perhaps this guy was somehow inspired by this kit and took it upon himself to perform said procedure, unfortunately it seems he didn't realize that the ebay listing was a staged gag.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-08-17 12:54pm

Oh well, who ever said Germans had to be all that smart? Sure, they have a killer rep for making overpriced cars and ridiculously expensive industrial equipment, but these people like David Hasselhoff, for fuck's sake

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-08-17 01:37pm

Darth Wong wrote:Oh well, who ever said Germans had to be all that smart? Sure, they have a killer rep for making overpriced cars and ridiculously expensive industrial equipment, but these people like David Hasselhoff, for fuck's sake

Arrrggh! Thinking about German industrial equipment makes my head hurt. I spent 4 months working with Siemens SMT placement machines (HS-50 and F-5) at Rim in Waterloo, and by god I hated the things. They had so many retarded idiosyncracies that getting them up and running was a miracle unto itself, and I don't know how in hell they stayed running. I swear to god if you looked at them wrong they'd fritz out, whereas the older Universal and Panasonic machines would keep chugging along even if you back parts cart into them.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-08-17 02:49pm

The idiot.

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-08-17 03:44pm

Darth Wong wrote:What a fucking loser.

Sex is not an addiction you attempt to get rid of. o____o;

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-08-17 04:00pm

So did his addiction get cured ?

If i had an addiction to sex and no penis, i would just be more frusturated, and what happens if he get aroused? wouldn't he just bleed to death ? Now hes got many more problems to worry about, he shouldda been fixed so he just couldn't get an errection. Is that even possible? Shwula shieza hundin -_-

kojikun · Post by **kojikun** » 2003-08-17 04:08pm

aphexmonster wrote:If i had an addiction to sex and no penis, i would just be more frusturated, and what happens if he get aroused? wouldn't he just bleed to death ? Now hes got many more problems to worry about, he shouldda been fixed so he just couldn't get an errection. Is that even possible? Shwula shieza hundin -_-

No what he should have done is get his nuts cut off. That kills your sex drive.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-08-17 11:29pm

Ouchies, if I may regail us all with a similar tale.

A few years ago, during an Under 15's soccer game up in the northern parts of Australia, some kid attempted to slide tackle some other kid, unfortunately, in doing this he dislocated his leg, so after a little check of it, they decided to pop it back in. Unfortunately, they mustn't have been thinking too clearly, as one of his nads god pushed into the socket, and it popped.

Major fucking ouchies. And he didn't deserve it through idiocy.

Kamakazie Sith · Post by **Kamakazie Sith** » 2003-08-18 01:48am

He won't be fucking around anymore......

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-08-18 01:51am

Kamakazie Sith wrote:He won't be fucking around anymore......

Yeah, what a dick.

MKSheppard · Post by **MKSheppard** » 2003-08-18 01:55am

Gandalf wrote: Unfortunately, they mustn't have been thinking too clearly, as one of his nads god pushed into the socket, and it popped.

*winces*

*winces even more*