Morning erections (or nature's cruel trick on men)

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-09-28 04:52pm

InnerBrat wrote:The Ex never got it. If he did, I would have rode it a coupla times. I'm so horny when I get up.

*note to self: next S/O must be up for sex in the morning

Best. Girlfriend. Ever.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-09-28 04:53pm

I get morning wood every single time I wake up. Solution: Rigorous masturbation. Why doesn't this come as common sense to everyone who gets it?

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-09-28 04:54pm

UltraViolence83 wrote:I get morning wood every single time I wake up. Solution: Rigorous masturbation. Why doesn't this come as common sense to everyone who gets it?

I never really feel up for masturbation in the morning.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-09-28 04:57pm

Durran Korr wrote:Then I must be a biological anomaly, because I'm certain that I have pissed with a hard-on.

Never bend your boner downwards toward the toilet whilst pissing. WILL HURT FOR DAYS. Sucks, though. I have to bend my whole fucking body over the john to urinate.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-09-28 04:58pm

Durran Korr wrote:I never really feel up for masturbation in the morning.

Lay in your bed and daydream erotic fantasies. You already have a risen champion, so half the work is already done automatically.

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-09-28 04:59pm

UltraViolence83 wrote:
Durran Korr wrote:I never really feel up for masturbation in the morning.
Lay in your bed and daydream erotic fantasies. You already have a risen champion, so half the work is already done automatically.

But it's the morning. I'm too tired to get all physically worked up.

Zac Naloen · Post by **Zac Naloen** » 2003-09-28 05:03pm

Durran Korr wrote:
UltraViolence83 wrote:
Durran Korr wrote:I never really feel up for masturbation in the morning.
Lay in your bed and daydream erotic fantasies. You already have a risen champion, so half the work is already done automatically.
But it's the morning. I'm too tired to get all physically worked up.

hehe, it puts you in a good mood for the beginning part of the day though.

It also means im less likely to think about sex at school (what with all the girls around me in Theatre studies) and therefore less likely to have an embarrasing moment

although that hasn't happened in ages, it feels so much better to be 17 than its does 15...

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-09-28 05:03pm

UltraViolence83 wrote:I get morning wood every single time I wake up. Solution: Rigorous masturbation. Why doesn't this come as common sense to everyone who gets it?

Ok, imagine you need to piss after you wake up saay maybe Single time. You jerk it off so it'll be relieve but you still need to piss. Now try pissing with some of that cum still inside the dick that hasn't be spewed and it'll fucking hurt. At least according to me anyway.~Jason

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-09-28 05:06pm

InnerBrat wrote:The Ex never got it. If he did, I would have rode it a coupla times. I'm so horny when I get up.

*note to self: next S/O must be up for sex in the morning

I don't think you're going to have trouble finding a new boyfriend.

Uraniun235 · Post by **Uraniun235** » 2003-09-28 05:09pm

My problem isn't pissing, it's taking a shit! Because usually when I shit I urinate as well, so I either have to try and work my wang under the toilet seat somehow (which isn't comfortable) or I have to rest it on top and maintain this delicate muscular balance of allowing defecation but not urination. (and now that I'm at college there's no way I'm resting it on top!)

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-09-28 05:12pm

Uraniun235 wrote:My problem isn't pissing, it's taking a shit! Because usually when I shit I urinate as well, so I either have to try and work my wang under the toilet seat somehow (which isn't comfortable) or I have to rest it on top and maintain this delicate muscular balance of allowing defecation but not urination. (and now that I'm at college there's no way I'm resting it on top!)

Just grab a bigass was of toilet paper and grab the head of your wang. That way the piss won't get everywhere.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-09-28 05:17pm

Wake up and just start whacking. Seriously. I've blown DNA all over the place without even being horny.

I know that sounds weird, but it's the best explanation.

I can also get off by whacking my dick when it's flaccid, too.

...Spontanious masturbation: Yet another nail in the coffin of my sanity.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-09-28 05:24pm

My problem is that Rebecca will suck on my morning glory, but only for a minute or two because there's no time to get busy. Not enough to blow my load, so I'm still left high and dry. The funny thing is that I always want her to suck on it anyway, even though I know we won't have time to finish the deed and I'll be left feeling frustrated.

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2003-09-28 05:26pm

Darth Wong wrote:My problem is that Rebecca will suck on my morning glory, but only for a minute or two because there's no time to get busy. Not enough to blow my load, so I'm still left high and dry. The funny thing is that I always want her to suck on it anyway, even though I know we won't have time to finish the deed and I'll be left feeling frustrated.

Poor guy

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-09-28 05:28pm

Darth Wong wrote:My problem is that Rebecca will suck on my morning glory, but only for a minute or two because there's no time to get busy. Not enough to blow my load, so I'm still left high and dry. The funny thing is that I always want her to suck on it anyway, even though I know we won't have time to finish the deed and I'll be left feeling frustrated.

It makes your boudoir adventures that night more fun, though, yes?

Joe · Post by **Joe** » 2003-09-28 05:28pm

You have a hand that I'm sure you used many a time as a teenager. Make use of it!

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-09-28 05:42pm

InnerBrat wrote:The Ex never got it. If he did, I would have rode it a coupla times. I'm so horny when I get up.

It was the same thing with my GF, we wake up in the morning and she's all over me. Nothing takes care of the morning wood like a good fuck when you wake up. There's a reason I make sure I don't drink too much liquids before going to bed, this way I can wake up and perform without my bladder feeling like it's gonna explode.

Durran Korr wrote:
UltraViolence83 wrote:I get morning wood every single time I wake up. Solution: Rigorous masturbation. Why doesn't this come as common sense to everyone who gets it?
I never really feel up for masturbation in the morning.

You could also hit yourself in the nuts with a NERF bat or a loosely rolled section of the morning newspaper. It'll cause just enough pain to make your dick go down instantly without causing any permanent damage.

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-09-28 05:44pm

When pissing with an erection, it's not the bending down that's the problem it's the hitting the target. The piss always comes out at a weird angle and when you correct it it always seems to change!

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-09-28 06:01pm

i heard that you get a morning erection because your pissfull bladder puts preassure on your prostate.

Soontir C'boath · Post by **Soontir C'boath** » 2003-09-28 06:02pm

2000AD wrote:When pissing with an erection, it's not the bending down that's the problem it's the hitting the target. The piss always comes out at a weird angle and when you correct it it always seems to change!

Here's something for ya, having an erection and trying to piss in the toilet which though the piss goes two different ways at the same time.~Jason

2000AD · Post by **2000AD** » 2003-09-28 06:06pm

Soontir C'boath wrote: Here's something for ya, having an erection and trying to piss in the toilet which though the piss goes two different ways at the same time.~Jason

I've had it when it kind of comes out in an arc and then goes into a stream, but not in two different directions!

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-09-28 06:38pm

Darth Wong wrote:My problem is that Rebecca will suck on my morning glory, but only for a minute or two because there's no time to get busy. Not enough to blow my load, so I'm still left high and dry. The funny thing is that I always want her to suck on it anyway, even though I know we won't have time to finish the deed and I'll be left feeling frustrated.

I'm crying for you. Really, I am.

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-09-28 06:39pm

2000AD wrote:
Soontir C'boath wrote: Here's something for ya, having an erection and trying to piss in the toilet which though the piss goes two different ways at the same time.~Jason
I've had it when it kind of comes out in an arc and then goes into a stream, but not in two different directions!

Yup. I've had that too.

SirNitram · Post by **SirNitram** » 2003-09-28 06:40pm

Some quick missionary sex tends to take care of that little problem.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-09-28 06:48pm

SirNitram wrote:Some quick missionary sex tends to take care of that little problem.

Yes, well, not all of us have access to that option.