The best way to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses

The Kernel · Post by **The Kernel** » 2003-12-12 09:11am

I just answer the door buck naked. Works like a charm.

Mad · Post by **Mad** » 2003-12-12 10:34am

Stormbringer wrote:You get the part about their religion having the same odds as the lottery in terms of salvation?

Only if one ignores the paradise earth and earthly resurrection hope, which is what the rest hope for...

The Morrigan · Post by **The Morrigan** » 2003-12-12 10:10pm

Chardok wrote:A friend of mine said that once when JW came to his door, he opened it, looked outside, and looked right through the JW, then as they were talking, Got a perplexed look on his face, leaned out, looked right, looked left, then muttered "Damn kids" As he shut the door.

What a great idea! I've got to try that. We don't get many God-botherers around where I live, but I'm constantly being doorknocked by salesmen & real estate agents.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-14 08:15am

I playied the Rolling Stones and held back the "Killer" atttack cat (The same cat that had 5 years earlier sent me to a hospital emergency room) Of course I also once scared a group of them off by letting my pet goose run after them hissing..... (damn bird thought it was a gaurd dog)

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-12-14 08:58am

Our standard is to blast Black Sabbath, or just not answer the door, and stand perfectly still so they can't make us out.

Post by **Dalton** » 2003-12-14 09:55am

I think my grandmother just gabbles at them in Italian until they go away...

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-14 03:34pm

My late grandfather's tactic of bitching them out for not supporting the "Good Old US of A, while he bled to stop Japanese, German, & Communist aggression) while standing at the door with a holsteed M1911 works well too.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-12-14 05:08pm

I"m planning on building a punji pit...

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-14 06:05pm

Have Bun-Bun answer the door.....

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2003-12-14 06:12pm

or aylee while she was still in her 'human eating' phase.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-14 06:26pm

Well in her current paper/wood eating phase it would be fun too.

JW: Can I interest you in a copy of Watchtower
Red Dragon Aylee: Sure *CHOMP!!!*
*Spits out hand that was holding pamphlets*
JW: AIIIIIIIEEEEE
Torg: Just be thankful Bun-Bun wasn't here.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-12-14 06:36pm

The Yosemite Bear wrote:Well in her current paper/wood eating phase it would be fun too.

JW: Can I interest you in a copy of Watchtower
Red Dragon Aylee: Sure *CHOMP!!!*
*Spits out hand that was holding pamphlets*
JW: AIIIIIIIEEEEE
Torg: Just be thankful Bun-Bun wasn't here.

Damnit Bear... I was gonna switch to a Bun-Bun avatar...

Oh well. And a JW going to the Sluggy house would be hilarious.

UltraViolence83 · Post by **UltraViolence83** » 2003-12-15 05:26am

Tell them that you worship goats. That's my plan.

General Zod · Post by **General Zod** » 2003-12-15 11:29am

don't forget to ask them if they want to join you. then mention that your worship of goats involves getting nekkid and k-y lube.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-12-15 02:26pm

Copy of the "Necronomicon", begin chanting Ai, Ai etc, if a female JW is present ask if she's ever had tentecle sex....

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The best way to get rid of Jehovah's Witnesses

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