GF/BF Wierdest Kink

[Rob Wilson]

*Stravo takes hat off and applauds.*

I thank you. Roll up, roll up. Live performances every year, audience participation for the adventurous, female donations gratefully accepted.

[The Aliens]

SNIP

We have a winner.

[Rob Wilson]

"A British accent is an enabler to whorishness in men." --Greg Burnett

He should trademark that, he'd doubtless make a fortune in this thread.

[Rob Wilson]

SNIP

We have a winner.

Oh please, that took me 12 years to accumulate. Read Aerius's again, he hit most of them in one crazy woman. That said I have left off a few (always have a reserve).

Seriously guys, after a few years, you'll all have memories of girls like that.

[Rob Wilson]

We have a winner.

Wait, it's a competition? Do I get a prize?

[kojikun]

Robs stuff sounds pretty normal, just risky and some very casual.

[Keevan_Colton]

Worst case, come here to Ayr, the town that spawned the line "the best laid plans o' mice and men" and you'll get more strange than you care to cope with.

[The Aliens]

Get a custom title: "Official SD.net Shagger of Many Kinky Women."

[Rob Wilson]

I've slept with an inordinate amount of girls named Sandra over the years, does that count as a kink?

On a similar note. The last 4 women I've slept with (must stop calling them girls ), have all been redheads (that deepish red colour, not ginger). And I swear their sweat and cunts taste different, sweeter almost.

In one particular case the lady in question and I had been working out in her gym room - I gotthe top off and enjoyed licking and playing with her breasts, but the second i started to inch her shorts down, just the smell made me dive in there like a starving Ethopian. I just could not get enough. Now in similar circumstances with a cute little babe who I used to cycle with, pulling her cycling shorts down was fun and I enjoyed the time I spent down there, but it was not the complete trigger that it was with this lady.

Just came to mind while we were on the subject - sort of.

[The Aliens]

Robs stuff sounds pretty normal, just risky and some very casual.

Oh, come on. Shagging on top of someone else's car, under a streetlight, while the alarm is going off is normal? And if you can't come unless the other person is wearing a bowler hat, that's quite a kink as well.

[Rob Wilson]

Robs stuff sounds pretty normal, just risky and some very casual.

Depends on the circles you move in I guess - if Bondage, Spanking, Public sex, Lesbians and little bundles of Japanese sexual energy are part of your everyday sex circle, then yes indeed it would appear normal.

I just highlighted some of the stranger girls and encounters, there were others - plus the larger numbers of normal sex over the years (but the thread asked for kinks so...)

How about telling us your partners kinks? If mine are normal to you, this should be very entertaining for the SD.net denizens.

[Rob Wilson]

Robs stuff sounds pretty normal, just risky and some very casual.

Oh, come on. Shagging on top of someone else's car, under a streetlight, while the alarm is going off is normal?

I think he meant that one for risky (though the alarm had ben going off for an hour outside her house which is what drew her attention in the first place.

And if you can't come unless the other person is wearing a bowler hat, that's quite a kink as well.

That is definitely a kink. And I think a lot of peole might be getting confused. Having a kink or a sexual preference doesn't also equate to kinky sex (needing the light on for example is a kink but not necessarily kinky. But can be included in the purview of the thread).

[Rob Wilson]

Depends on the circles you move in I guess - if Bondage, Spanking, Public sex, Lesbians and little bundles of Japanese sexual energy are part of your everyday sex circle, then yes indeed it would appear normal.

Just realised that if you exclude the last two parts of that description, then Aerius's example qualifies him to call it normal.

[The Cleric]

Rob, I want to smack you. Hard. Severl hundred times. You lucky bastard.

[Stravo]

Robs stuff sounds pretty normal, just risky and some very casual.

Oh, come on. Shagging on top of someone else's car, under a streetlight, while the alarm is going off is normal? And if you can't come unless the other person is wearing a bowler hat, that's quite a kink as well.

You'd be surprised at the wide array of kinks that are out there. The bowler hat is more funny than strange and the car alarm thing just ties into the fear of getting caught whoch let me tell you is SUCH a turn on. I once banged a girl in the locker room during lunch time. She was bent over, jeans around her thighs as I was plowing away and people were getting to their lockers. Despite its short frantic length, it was very memorable.

[Rob Wilson]

Get a custom title: "Official SD.net Shagger of Many Kinky Women."

I'm quite happy with my Sith Apprentice title right now. If I got Custom Title it would have to be one that actually meant something and was given by the denizens.

Plus I think Stravo could easily challenge me for the title (Cuddles could too probably if she were more inclined to post about her sex life).

[Rob Wilson]

Rob, I want to smack you. Hard. Severl hundred times. You lucky bastard.

It's just life experience, there's a whole world of women out there for you to enjoy as you grow older. I'm 31, just give it time.

[The Cleric]

And in conclusion, I hate you all.

That sums it up fairly well.

[Rob Wilson]

You'd be surprised at the wide array of kinks that are out there. The bowler hat is more funny than strange and the car alarm thing just ties into the fear of getting caught whoch let me tell you is SUCH a turn on. I once banged a girl in the locker room during lunch time. She was bent over, jeans around her thighs as I was plowing away and people were getting to their lockers. Despite its short frantic length, it was very memorable.

Oh, aye. You can't beat a proper quickie with a tad of danger. A quick fuck on the Boardroom table and just geting your trousers back up before the boardmembers start to enter... Her knickers were still round her ankles and she'd only just sat down in time (I had to put some breifing notes over the damp patch on the table ). Thefirst couple in through the door must have caught the smell of sex before the air-conditioning cleared it away. Both of us having flushed faces must have been a give-away as well, now I think about it.

[aerius]

Read Aerius's again, he hit most of them in one crazy woman. That said I have left off a few (always have a reserve).

Seriously guys, after a few years, you'll all have memories of girls like that.

I really lucked out on her and when I think back on it it's pretty screwed up. Let's put it this way, she was my roomate's GF during the 1st semester and then they broke up. A week into the 2nd semester and she was all over me for some reason and I wasn't about to say no. She was crazy in bed and I was a bit uncomfortable at times with what she did, but it sure beats not having sex.

[Rob Wilson]

but it sure beats not having sex.

The motto of single guys the world over.

[Vertigo1]

Other than the one chick I went with that HAD to get it out in the woods (I'm talking far out where you could yell your head off and nobody would hear you...and lets just say she made LOTS of noise!)...there haven't been any with any real kinks. In short....I HATE YOU ROB!

[Rob Wilson]

OK, seemingly the board is full of young innocents who have only had the quietest of sex lives if the responses so far are anything to go by, so time to fill the silence with a reminiscence from the Memory file marked 'Rob had a Gooooooooooooood Time!'

So I'm with my room-mate from Nottingham (the one with the paucity of clothes wearing abilities), and as I've mentioned, she's normally to be found of a day off work, wandering the house naked. She's also an incredibly touchy-feely person who likes to be touched back, and as also mentioned she's a fuck-buddy so I'm intimately aware of every nook and cranny of her body.

It's a weekend, I'm looking forward to vegging infront of the telly. When down the stairs comes (we'll call her L, in here I think) L, and she's wearing one of those gossamer-thin Summer dresses that button up the front. She' got her usual pixie twinkle of mischief in her eyes and that half-smile that makes me want to kiss her.

"I'm going shopping." All giggles, and leaning over my chair.

"Um, ok. Have fun." Try to look at TV, as there is a particularly interesting whatever on the screen (you guys know what I mean).

"I'm not wearing any underwear." Sly smile.

"So what are we buying?" Attention fully on her, trying to look down her top as I reach for her hips.

"Ah-ah-ah. No touching today." She pulls back and wags her finger, putting on a mock serious expression. "But if you're a good boy... and do as your told. I might let you touch tonight." Very mischevious smile.

I must have her, right there, right then. I've seen her naked, I've fucked her, licked her, spanked her and put my dick in every orifice she has, but right then it was like I'd never even seen her legs before, let alone the rest.

"You have to behave." She's seen the hunger and lust in my eyes obviously. "And do Exactly what I say." More mock stern finger wagging.

So we're on the bus into the shopping arcade. She has undone the button on her dress that covers her pubic area and has hold of my left hand and is playing with the fingers, occassionally running my fingertips through her pubic hair and then back out. Never getting to touch the skin below that hair... Dammit!

Our stop approaches and she makes me do up the button, and gives me a peck on the cheek. At this point I want to know why it's considered bad manners to have loud and passionate sex on public transport.

Walking through the arcade, she undoes one of the top buttons to better air her cleavage. We get a cup of tea and some shortbread biscuits. During the time in the cafe she would take a piece of shortbread (shaped like a thin finger) put her hand under the table, and then when the hand reappears I get to eat the biscuit... Yummy, fun dunkers.
She also puts a small packet of sugar in her pocket "for later." (BTW ladies, something she passed on later. Shortbread leaves uncomfortable crumbs, after much experimentation, we found that Cadbury's chocolate fingers are much better for both parties - espescially the cleaning off the melted chocolate afterwards )

So it's later and we're in the back garden. She's reading a book she's bought, I'm staring at her dress trying to will it invisible. She puts down her book and undoes the top buttons of her dress down to her belly, and pulls the dress open so her breasts are exposed. Picks up her book and smiles at me, before going back to reading. ARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!

Puts down book again, takes out packet of sugar and very carefully sprinkles a bit on the right nipple. Beckons me over. "Lick it off, slowly. Only lick where the sugar is, no wandering."

Next half-hour or so = Sprinkle, lick, watch nipples harden, Sprinkle, lick, sprinkle, lick, Sprinkle, lick. Everytime more sugar sticks to the area I've licked, plus she takes a wet finger and veeeerrrryy slowly traces a circle round each nipple. Sugar is the best snack ever!

Back inside and she's drinking water, with little bits trickling slowly down her still exposed chest and belly.

"Strip!" And another of those smiles.

So I quickly strip and stand there with an erection, in that proud way we men are want to do ('Look. See? My erection, all my own work you know'. ).

"Lay down." Very mock stern expression, hopelessly spoilt by fit of the giggles.

So I lay down and she walks over and stands over my head. I'm looking up and enjoying the veiw. She kneels down, facing down my body, her buttocks supported on her heels. Her Cunt mere cm's from my face... Yum.

"You cannot touch. You cannot cum." Sounds like she's serious... dammit!

Her hand starts moving up and down my dick. Hey, no Fair! She bends over and her legs spread slightly so her Cunt is right over my mouth. The smell is everywhere, her hand has stopped playing but who cares? My tongue moves to within a hairsbreadth of her lips... and that's when i feel her tongue on my bell end. My mind develops this mantra DON'T Cum, DON'T Cum, DON'T Lick, DON'T Lick, Bitch, Bitch, DON'T Cum, DON'T Cum, DON'T Lick, DON'T Lick, Bitch, Bitch, DAAAAMMMMIIITTT!

Lips touch bell end, teeth makethose slight biting motions. Small explosion imminent (don'tcum,don'tcum,don'tcum). New player enters the tent, her finger is now inbetween her lips, and stroking herself. At first I'm too busy fending off the fact she's sucking me off, without my being able to ejaculate, to notice. Then she starts to cum. My mouth opens wide so fast I think I dislocate it. When she's finished her finger goes in my mouth to be sucked clean. I've forgotten about my dick and have still not cum (only just!)

She stands up slowly, there's a trickle moving down her leg. She points I lick. Yippee. Quickly get a paper towel and wipe dick to remove evidence of slight loss of control (all that sperm under pressure, even if you don't cum, there's going to be some leakers) .

There then follows an afternoon of look-don't-touch. She masturbates, and she knows how much I love watching her masturbate. The dres is fully unbuttoned and draped around her. I'm still naked and she looks at me. "Don't Cum." She begins to really go for it. And right as she starts her climaxs she calls out the name of one of her co-workers... a female co-worker... a female co-worker I've slept with... BIIIIIITTTTCCHHHH! Don't cum, don't cum, don't cum.

Later, I get to run my fingertips over her arse and down her leg as she lays on the sitting room floor. My fingers move up the inside of her leg. And her hand stops me bear cm's from her cunt. My balls in the last 3 hours hav gone from blue, through indigo, into dark purple.

Out comes the baby lotion, which I get to massage into her thighs, arse, back - she turns over, leaving one leg bent at the knee so her lips are obviously open - her Breasts, her tummy, the top of her thighs (so not fair, why not her cunt? ). She is completely out of the dress, my balls are nearly black by this point.

She stands up and beckons me after her. What the hell, I'm her bitch, so off I toddle. She goes slowly up the stairs, her hips swaying and my eyes following her arse as it moves. I may have drooled slightly at this point.

We reach the bedroom, the door opens and she walks in and crawls very slowly along the top of the bed. My eye's are glued to her arse and cunt. She looks back over her shoulder, takes a finger and starts to masturbate again. NOOOOOTTT FAAAIIR!

When she's cum, she pushes the finger right in and out a couple of times.

"Eeny, meeny, miny, mo." Finger movves between cunt and arse and stops on arse. Finger goes in - balls have now transcended all planes of colour - it comes out, her hips lower as her legs spread a bit further.

"You've been a good boy, You can play now!" YIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPEEEEEE!

Much bed creaking through the night accompanied by giggles and sighs.

The End.

Hhhmmm, what a happy memory. Hope that filled everyone with the Spirit of the Season.

Happy New Year.

Anyone else care to share? Give these youngsters an idea of what they can expect if they meet the right girl

ADDENDUM - Tidied up some of the spelling.

[Ghost Rider]

I have nothing too insane.

1. Tracey enjoyed...public sex(we tried parks, subways at 1 AM, and well....rooftops).

2.Domintrax, enjoyed sex after sparring, and having sex with food(her nick is Felony...I'm sure I enlighten Rob Wilson of here, or at least her name).

Those are my two weirdest.

[Dalton]

Rob, you are a God amonst Man.