What porn teaches us.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-10-22 09:46pm

Stormbringer wrote:No, in fact it's a healthy and enjoyable pass time!

Like masturbation!

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-10-22 09:53pm

XaLEv wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:No, in fact it's a healthy and enjoyable pass time!
Like masturbation!

And I'm not going to say what that just made me think.....

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-10-22 09:57pm

Stormbringer wrote:
XaLEv wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:No, in fact it's a healthy and enjoyable pass time!
Like masturbation!
And I'm not going to say what that just made me think.....

HAHAHA! I win!

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-10-22 09:57pm

XaLEv wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:
XaLEv wrote: Like masturbation!
And I'm not going to say what that just made me think.....

HAHAHA! I win!

no, i just don't think Kelly would appreciate it. Or maybe she would.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-10-22 10:00pm

Stormbringer wrote:no, i just don't think Kelly would appreciate it. Or maybe she would.

Uhmmm....Okay.

I think I was just being random there...

But, whatever, you know?

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-10-22 10:01pm

XaLEv wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:no, i just don't think Kelly would appreciate it. Or maybe she would.
Uhmmm....Okay.

I think I was just being random there...

But, whatever, you know?

No, I meant what your post made ME think.

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-10-22 10:03pm

Stormbringer wrote:
XaLEv wrote:
Stormbringer wrote:no, i just don't think Kelly would appreciate it. Or maybe she would.
Uhmmm....Okay.

I think I was just being random there...

But, whatever, you know?
No, I meant what your post made ME think.

And I was talking about that 'I win' thing.

Weeee! Confusion!

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-10-22 10:44pm

Stormbringer wrote:
aerius wrote: I'd list some rules relating to illegal porn, but that might not be in good taste.
Go ahead anyway. Not many people give a damn about what's tasteful.

What I've learned from a summer of screening porn at Canada Customs. Part of my job was to keep all the illegal porn out.

Warning, reading this may needlessly sully your mind and leave traumatizing mental images.

1. Teenage schoolgirls enjoy rough sex
2. Teenage schoolgirls can be kidnapped and gangbanged with ease
3. Teenage students have group orgies in the changerooms
4. The younger the girl, the bigger the guy's dick looks
5. Family members frequently have sex with each other
6. Sisters fuck each other in the washroom and play with double ended dildos
7. Teenage boys always lose their virginity to babysitters at home
8. Teenage boys will lose their virginity to the teacher at school
9. An unsatisfied mother will use her son to pleasure herself
10. Sheep and goats are the prefered partners for males in bestiality flicks
11. Women will fuck any animal, but favourites are donkeys and horses
12. Doing anal with an animal results in massive screaming
13. Only a complete sicko will do oral sex on a sheep
14. If you've read this far your mind has been sullied, or you're already a perv to begin with.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2002-10-22 10:51pm

aerius wrote:14. If you've read this far your mind has been sullied, or you're already a perv to begin with.

Read this far? I want you to go on!

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2002-10-22 10:52pm

aerius wrote:What I've learned from a summer of screening porn at Canada Customs. Part of my job was to keep all the illegal porn out.

Warning, reading this may needlessly sully your mind and leave traumatizing mental images.

1. Teenage schoolgirls enjoy rough sex
2. Teenage schoolgirls can be kidnapped and gangbanged with ease
3. Teenage students have group orgies in the changerooms
4. The younger the girl, the bigger the guy's dick looks
5. Family members frequently have sex with each other
6. Sisters fuck each other in the washroom and play with double ended dildos
7. Teenage boys always lose their virginity to babysitters at home
8. Teenage boys will lose their virginity to the teacher at school
9. An unsatisfied mother will use her son to pleasure herself
10. Sheep and goats are the prefered partners for males in bestiality flicks
11. Women will fuck any animal, but favourites are donkeys and horses
12. Doing anal with an animal results in massive screaming
13. Only a complete sicko will do oral sex on a sheep
14. If you've read this far your mind has been sullied, or you're already a perv to begin with.

Sounds like a fun job,

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2002-10-22 11:05pm

XaLEv wrote: Sounds like a fun job,

Trust me, it ain't fun. Most of the shit's quite disgusting so I end up viewing the whole thing on fast forward. When you gotta view kiddie porn, snuff, and fat people having sex on daily basis it's anything but. Let's put it this way, most of it makes the stuff at Rotten.com look good.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2002-10-22 11:17pm

Ouch. That must suck.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-10-24 12:52am

More Porn Rules:

- Women never ever smear their lipstick when giving a blow job.

- Everyone has clean underwear, no holes, no streakers, nothing like that.

- Most people shave their pubic hair.

spongyblue · Post by **spongyblue** » 2002-10-24 01:18am

-Construction Workers/Phone repairmen/plumbers/handymen don't wear shirts

-Above group also gets laid by client/female boss

-Elevators take 20 minutes to go from the 10th floor to the basement

-The nerdy girl has the biggest rack and is the biggest skank

-it is possible to take off all your cloths but still have your boots and tool belt on

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-24 01:19am

spongyblue wrote:-Construction Workers/Phone repairmen/plumbers/handymen don't wear shirts

-Above group also gets laid by client/female boss

-Elevators take 20 minutes to go from the 10th floor to the basement

-The nerdy girl has the biggest rack and is the biggest skank

-it is possible to take off all your cloths but still have your boots and tool belt on

That last one is probably achievable......

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-10-24 02:56am

Women are willing to have sex anytime, anywhere.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-24 02:57am

neoolong wrote:Women are willing to have sex anytime, anywhere.

And then some....any way, any size, any form, any position, any speed...

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2002-10-24 03:12am

verilon wrote:
neoolong wrote:Women are willing to have sex anytime, anywhere.
And then some....any way, any size, any form, any position, any speed...

...any gender, and species...

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-24 03:14am

*Insert WTF emoticon here....* -_-';; eww.....

Post by **Vympel** » 2002-10-24 03:27am

I can't belive Darth Wong hasn't chimed in yet

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-24 03:35am

I can't believe we're on the fourth page and RayCav's only made one comment...

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2002-10-24 03:41am

Fourth, now. There's a new page every 15 replies.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-24 03:45am

Didn't know that was 45th reply.

And I knew that.

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2002-10-24 03:52am

I usually pay attention to exactly how many replies there are, both total and modulo 15. That helps me keep track of where things are.

Post by **haas mark** » 2002-10-24 03:54am

Eh...as long as there are posts...i hate it tho when the first post on the next page shows up *nowhere* unless you're replying to it.