Films so bad they are good?

Patrick Degan · Post by **Patrick Degan** » 2004-10-08 04:10pm

I was the Chief of Operations for our local bad film festival for a decade. Trust me, you'll find comedy gold in many B- and Z-grade stinkers; those movies which were the staple of UHF Saturday afternoon programming for so many years. Especially any film directed by Larry Buchanan or starring John Agar or All-Time Evil Actor John Saxon or B-movie Slumlord Cameron Mitchell.

Ligier · Post by **Ligier** » 2004-10-08 04:16pm

Is it nostalgia on my part, or does Commando qualify as "so bad, it's good?"

Post by **fgalkin** » 2004-10-08 04:39pm

Turbulence, and its sequels, The Substitute 2: School's Out (the other movies in the series are actually bad, but this one is hilarious), and pretty much any Steven Segal movie.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

The Kernel · Post by **The Kernel** » 2004-10-08 04:49pm

No Retreat, No Surrender. Worst excuse for a martial arts movie EVER. Worst Bruce Lee lookalike EVER. Worst acting EVER. So funny as hell to watch. This was also Jean Claude Van Dame's debut film.

wautd · Post by **wautd** » 2004-10-08 04:55pm

Ligier wrote:Is it nostalgia on my part, or does Commando qualify as "so bad, it's good?"

Boy I remember sawing a Commando ripoff. 3 good guys. One guy looked just like Arnie, the other one looked like Stallone and the 3rd like Tom Selleck. The bad guys were asian or something and couldnt hit shit even at point blanc range. And they always came and died with 3 at once

Also, "Big trouble in little China" anyone?

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2004-10-08 05:39pm

The Kernel wrote:No Retreat, No Surrender. Worst excuse for a martial arts movie EVER. Worst Bruce Lee lookalike EVER. Worst acting EVER. So funny as hell to watch. This was also Jean Claude Van Dame's debut film.

Even worse than "Ninja In The Killing Fields"?

EmperorChrostas the Cruel · Post by **EmperorChrostas the Cruel** » 2004-10-08 06:13pm

WHAT!?
All these chop saki flicks and no one has mentioned,
"Master of the Flying Guillotine!" (the blind imperial assasin with a fearsome weapon, VS "The One Armed Boxer"! http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/de ... 5?v=glance
and what about:

"Robot Monster?" (The infamous "gorrila suit with a TV fror a head" movie, in 2D! ) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0046248/

"The Terror of Tiny Town?" (A midget-musical-western-horror flick, how can you go wrong? I mean, midget cowboys singing on horseback, while trying to stop a string of gruesome killings!) http://www.badmovies.org/movies/tinytown/

ReinnResauq · Post by **ReinnResauq** » 2004-10-08 06:28pm

Korvan wrote:
I can't imagine what you see in that abomination. Imagine playing a DnD game where you enter the dungeon containing the ultimate artifact of dragon control. A dungeon completely devoid of monsters. And the only trap is a chute that leads directly to... a pit of deadly snakes? spikes and blades? No, it leads directly to the treasure room containing the artifact where you are confronted, by all thing, some sort of friendly lich that just lets you waltz out with the artifact.

Any DM that lead me through that is ending up with a wedgie and is paying for the entire pizza.

And the baffling part is that the man behind the film was supposed to be a huge DnD nut, yet he produces a film worse than what some studio execs with no gaming knowledge could ever do.

I'm not a D&D player. I know the rules and all that crap, though. I know that what the characters in that movie do could not be done if they're low levels. I don't care. It's just fun to watch. Really fun to watch.

And I've got another entry: Batman & Robin. Gay man's fantasy aside, Arnold's pathetic attempts at light humor end up being funny for a totally different reason.

Korvan · Post by **Korvan** » 2004-10-08 07:07pm

Ligier wrote:Is it nostalgia on my part, or does Commando qualify as "so bad, it's good?"

Some of Arnie's best lines ever come out of Commando. At least it's better than Delta Force Commandos. I've seen Commando and I've seen Delta Force. Delta Force Commandos is like their love child, only there was a miscarriage.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2004-10-08 07:17pm

Mean Guns

100 Assassins. 1,000 Weapons. 10,000,000 Dollars. Only One Can Survive.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2004-10-08 09:18pm

Deathstalker II, utter dreck, but it doesn't take itself seriously and has some reasonably funny jokes. Nice eye candy, too.

salm · Post by **salm** » 2004-10-08 09:32pm

Stormbringer wrote:Mean Guns

100 Assassins. 1,000 Weapons. 10,000,000 Dollars. Only One Can Survive.

hah, that´s a great one, esspecially because it stars ice motherfucking T biatch.
and it has a cool mambo soundtrack.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2004-10-08 09:39pm

This reminded me of a porno my friend has, one segment is a black and white silent film with a couples car breaks down they go into a house were Dracula and a Richard Nixon live, the guy gets incompacitated and Drac and Nixon fucker her, Nixon using his nose on her at one point.

The second portion is a pair of "high school students" who are obviously atleast mid twenties skip school to go fuck. They park next to a tree and a talking snake(midget in half a snake suit) tells them what to do, picking various fruits off the tree. The shining moment is when he tells the guy to get the peaches, and he picks a CAN that is OPEN and HALF EMPTY off the VINE HANGING FROM THE TREE!

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-10-08 09:48pm

Ligier wrote:Is it nostalgia on my part, or does Commando qualify as "so bad, it's good?"

Having watched it recently I was going to suggest it here so your not the only one.

I mean it has Arnold at his cliche ridden one-man-army best.

It has tons of continuity and logic errors. Those are the best to watch for. There are a lot of obvious dummies that get blown up. Sully has a cable attached to his leg. There is disappearing damange on the Porshe. It just goes on and on.

A casting glitch. Obviously the guy who was out to get Arnold was cast solely on people seeing him in The Road Warrior which was done nearly 10 years earlier. He wasn't exactly a believable challenge to Arnold in one on one even with the chainmail shirt and Arnold using only one arm.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2004-10-08 09:51pm

Another Arnold movie I'd like to nominate is Red Sonjia.

It's pretty funny when Arnold ends up being one of the best actors in a movie. Brigitte Nielson and Sandal Bergman are absolutely horrendous in this movie. Ernie Reyes Jr, even as an annoying kid, is better than those two.

Post by **weemadando** » 2004-10-08 10:14pm

There ain't NOTHING wrong with the "One armed boxer" movies.

Especially "Flying Guillotine", how can you not love the rubber-limbed indian guy, and trained monkeys? Or are the trained monkeys from another of the "One armed boxer" films?

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2004-10-08 11:04pm

Better off Dead. It was an eighties flick...

redswingline · Post by **redswingline** » 2004-10-08 11:21pm

Exonerate wrote:Better off Dead. It was an eighties flick...

Come on! Better Off Dead sucked on purpose....if that makes any sense. That's what made it a hilarious movie. It didn't give a shit about making sense. To achieve the true greatness of some of the other movies mentioned, the suckage has to be accidental. Like Troll 2! A suck ass movie if there ever was one, but incredibly funny. A good rental to watch with friends.

SylasGaunt · Post by **SylasGaunt** » 2004-10-09 12:47am

weemadando wrote:There ain't NOTHING wrong with the "One armed boxer" movies.

Especially "Flying Guillotine", how can you not love the rubber-limbed indian guy, and trained monkeys? Or are the trained monkeys from another of the "One armed boxer" films?

No trained monkeys that I can remember. The indian guy did have his trained attack owl though

And there's nothing wrong with the One Armed Boxer movies.. especially MotFG (which is currently housed in my DVD collection)

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2004-10-09 12:55am

Karmina
French-Canadian vampire movie so silly you'll laugh

Utsanomiko · Post by **Utsanomiko** » 2004-10-09 12:57am

My votes go to Drunken Wu Tang and Wizards.

Howedar · Post by **Howedar** » 2004-10-09 01:34am

Atomic Train.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2004-10-09 01:48am

Monster A Go Go, although it might actually kill you.

johnmarkley · Post by **johnmarkley** » 2004-10-09 02:27am

Any of the ninja movies of Joseph Lai beats them all.

IRG CommandoJoe · Post by **IRG CommandoJoe** » 2004-10-09 02:31am

The Philadelphia Experiment II. A 1993 Nazi empire alternate timeline movie where they use an F-117 in 1943 to drop 50 kilotons worth of nukes over Washington, DC, killing 15,000,000 people and thus winning the war.