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This Year's Stella Award Candidates, who should win?

Posted: 2003-01-16 05:40pm
by Wicked Pilot
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous lawsuits in the United States. The following are this year's top 7 candidates:


1. Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaved toddler was Ms. Robertson's son!

2. Carl Truman, a 19-year-old man from Los Angeles, won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hub caps.

3. Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

5. Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, was awarded $113,500. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

6. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies' room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

7. Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the R.V. left the freeway, crashed, and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this new suit, just in case there were any other complete morons buying their recreational vehicles

Posted: 2003-01-16 05:50pm
by Faram
I am at a loss for words.

Justice in the US of A is really fucked up.

Hopefully you people vill learn a new consept.

Sue someone and lose, then you have to pay ALL the fees for your and their legal rep.

Posted: 2003-01-16 05:53pm
by Temjin
You mean I can only vote for one........

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:00pm
by weemadando
Can you add a poll option:

"They all should have been thrown out of court. Had every single one of their possessions acquired as "payment" for wasting the courts time. And then shot. Repeatedly.

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:13pm
by The Yosemite Bear
It's bad how many accidents we have up here involving Rented RV's


RV4Rent are the most dreaded words amoung people that live and work here.

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:19pm
by Frank Hipper
*projectile vomits repeatedly* I'm not suprised by Mr Winebago Warrior from Oklahoma. Have you ever been to Oklahoma? Active brain cells are few and far between.

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:26pm
by Malecoda
I couldn't vote for Merv Grazinski, bec that's an urban legend. I first heard it at community college 10 years ago, when we were learning abt cruise controls and airbags. I've heard variations of it several times since, all over the country. Too bad so many people voted for it.

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:31pm
by Ted
That is so fucked up. :evil:

Another reason why I hate America. :evil:

Can someone PLEASE go and kill them all? Please???

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:33pm
by Ted
A study showed that the Natives in Papua New Guinea were actually more intelligent than North Americans.

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:35pm
by Malecoda
Ted wrote:A study showed that the Natives in Papua New Guinea were actually more intelligent than North Americans.
...about what?

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:38pm
by spongyblue
I hear Bush just put something on the books so there is a cap on certain medical lawsuits.

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:42pm
by DPDarkPrimus
Ted wrote: Can someone PLEASE go and kill them all? Please???
Oh, spare me. Literally, spare me. :P

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:55pm
by Pu-239
Go ahead kill me. I can't stand being surroundded by carefree idiots

Posted: 2003-01-16 06:59pm
by Stormbringer
the Fat Bastard that's suing all the fast foods chain for making him fat. Not only is he fat he's stupid too. I mean dear god you deep fry everything and he thinks it's healthy?

Posted: 2003-01-16 07:23pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
Ceasar Barber, the fatass who though fast food "was good for him" woulde have to win.

I'm suprised these suits weren't thrown out of the window right after they were proposed. These people brought these injuries on themselves, and they don't deserve to be rewarded for their idiocy. Common sense isn't so common. Not only in the people who do this crap, but the judges that give them the money.

Posted: 2003-01-16 07:24pm
by Mr Bean
I hear Bush just put something on the books so there is a cap on certain medical lawsuits.
Thats not that stuiped, Its a 250k Cap + Cort Costs and its to prevent half this bullshit(Seriously remeber the Smokers getting BILLIONS? WTF? When did a human being become worth over a few hundred k AT BEST!)

Even old Nolan Ryan when he had his Arm insured could only get it for a million dollers from Loydes of London, but you spill Coffie on yourself and BLAM 71 Million!

Its not a "stuiped" Law Spoongy if your implying thats what it is

Frankly I think it should be a single limit cap on ALL Medical Lawsuits, Only 1 Million, Even if they sewed a ear to your foot I don't care only 1 Million Max, That is much as the avarage person makes in thier life-time and enough live on for the rest of your disadvantaged life

Posted: 2003-01-16 08:37pm
by RedImperator
They need to cap punitive damages, period. Hell, if it were up to me, to get punitive damages, the plaintiff would have to prove his case beyond a reasonable doubt, same as in a criminal trial. Half the reason my motherfucking insurance costs so Goddamned much is Suzy Asshole and John Q. Hatfucker suing everyone in a three mile radius every time they get a booboo or someone hurts their feelings.

Posted: 2003-01-16 09:07pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
If we're going to limit medical damages, which I support, we should set a limit for all other lawsuits too. There's no reason why someone who could have their life endangered by a mistake in an operation can olny gert a million dollars maximum, while someone else could get 100 times that for some little thing they brought on themselves. For those kind of lawsuits, I'd set a much lower limit, say $10,000. Even lower for some bozo that spilled coffee on their crotch because "They didn't know it was hot".

Posted: 2003-01-16 11:00pm
by Frank Hipper
Malecoda wrote:
Ted wrote:A study showed that the Natives in Papua New Guinea were actually more intelligent than North Americans.
...about what?
Certainly not their funerary practices. Yuck!

Posted: 2003-01-17 12:03am
by Master of Ossus
The way I see it, if you are doing something you KNOW to be illegal, and it places you in danger, you should be responsible for anything that happens to you as a direct result of your illegal activity. Suing someone for having a malfunctioning garage door and then eating their dog-food and drinking their Pepsi? How low can you get? I say Terrence Dickson has earned this award.

Posted: 2003-01-17 01:27am
by TrailerParkJawa
Master of Ossus wrote:The way I see it, if you are doing something you KNOW to be illegal, and it places you in danger, you should be responsible for anything that happens to you as a direct result of your illegal activity. Suing someone for having a malfunctioning garage door and then eating their dog-food and drinking their Pepsi? How low can you get? I say Terrence Dickson has earned this award.
I agree but evidently juries do not. However, you can bet your butt that the laywers ask you such a question and you will quickly get dismissed from jury selection.

We passed a proposition here in CA that you cant sue someone if you get hurt while comitting a felony. I think it got tossed out by the courts but I could be remembering incorrectly.

Posted: 2003-01-17 01:32am
by Master of Ossus
TrailerParkJawa wrote:
Master of Ossus wrote:The way I see it, if you are doing something you KNOW to be illegal, and it places you in danger, you should be responsible for anything that happens to you as a direct result of your illegal activity. Suing someone for having a malfunctioning garage door and then eating their dog-food and drinking their Pepsi? How low can you get? I say Terrence Dickson has earned this award.
I agree but evidently juries do not. However, you can bet your butt that the laywers ask you such a question and you will quickly get dismissed from jury selection.

We passed a proposition here in CA that you cant sue someone if you get hurt while comitting a felony. I think it got tossed out by the courts but I could be remembering incorrectly.
That's right. I vaguely remember covering that case. It was one of the rare instances where our paper virtually instructed people on whether or not to vote for something, and we lost anyway. This is just another one of those things where you have to remind yourself that half the population has an IQ below one hundred.

Posted: 2003-01-17 01:38am
by Ghost Rider
Only below a 100?

Some of the above stated make me wonder if I'm not living in some fictional world written by a madman....oi

I see I've been doing it all wrong...screw working I should try to rob someone fail, and get locked in a garage for a few days...live off of dog food and viola sue the person for mental damages.

Damn...though the fat man suing McDonalds for making him fat does top this list no matter how inane some of this is.

Posted: 2003-01-17 01:38am
by XPViking
All the cases are ridiculous. Where is common sense? Where is justice? The ones in which the criminals are rewarded really burn me. :evil:

XPViking
8)

Posted: 2003-01-17 07:10am
by HemlockGrey
Can someone PLEASE go and kill them all? Please???
Go to hell, you stupid bastard.