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Recently I have been catching up with a girl, who I really like. The result of this has been that I have started to fall for her, again . The problem is she has a boyfriend and they are very happy together.
This is about the third time I have fallen for her, the other times she was single though. I REALLY NEED TO GET OVER HER!!! The worst thing is that I have found out why she rejected me the first time I was interested in her, and it was because she was interested in the guy I talked about in this thread: http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=9987 (note: I did not know about this at the time I worte that thread). She has since realised that he is a git with too much of a "holier than thou" atittude, who needs to "cut the apron strings, and that if she were faced with that situation now she would have gone out with me . Of course she is happy with her boyfriend now, and I have no chance of ever going out with her
*sigh* </rant>

Ack, I know how girl troubles can be. sorry.

Thems the breaks when you're a guy, apparently. I had a thing for a real close friend of mine, but she was going out with another good friend. I never even so much as let on that I liked her. Then they broke up, and I had a chance, but I thought, "No, that would be out and out backstabbing, and I won't do that." So while i'm off being noble and honorable, ANOTHER mutual friend (of all three of us) asks her out, and they end up a happy, happy couple that'll probably be together for years. Another entry on the "Blown Opportunities" list.

Welcome to my life. 7 years I've been living that same personal hell. Sometimes I think the existentialists are right..."life's a bitch and then you die."

I had the same problem with a girl back in sixth grade. She was very popular and I was a little nerd who people thought was "too nice". Somewhere in March, her boyfriend dumped her and I took the chance to act. Sadly, she hotly turned me down. But that's all past us now. We're both in 11th grade and she's warming up again...

Captain_Cyran wrote:Yeah, I made the mistake of telling my crush how I felt about her...the silence afterwords was painful...that was about 2 weeks ago, and ever since I've been working my tail off to salvage the friendship and with any luck get her to like me. Not that it is very bloody likely...

The first time I told her how I felt she spent a week with out saying much about how she felt, and I think now that she was considering going out with me, until she turned me down saying she was "on the rebound" to protect me from knowing she was interested in my friend. A couple of months later, when I figured she'd be over the whole 'rebound' thing I told how I felt agin. This time again she thought about it for a week, then said maybe, then a week later said no. I understand now that it was a very traumatic time for her. However I got really depressed, and other external matters compounded my depression, and we stopped speaking for about a year,. Now we are talking again, and she has learnt more about me and my friend, but she isn't single.
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhh!!!
It isn't fair

BTW thanks all for your sympathy , and my sympathy to all of ya with similar stories.

I have more trouble pining for exes then working myself over with crushes. I usually have half a dozen tabbed as cute, and am in some level of flirting with all of them.

no luck yet tho. hmm. . .

Captain_Cyran wrote:Yeah, I made the mistake of telling my crush how I felt about her...the silence afterwords was painful...that was about 2 weeks ago, and ever since I've been working my tail off to salvage the friendship and with any luck get her to like me. Not that it is very bloody likely...

For me its only been 9 days.

Enforcer Talen wrote:I have more trouble pining for exes then working myself over with crushes. I usually have half a dozen tabbed as cute, and am in some level of flirting with all of them.

Only half a dozen? Small social environment, or really high standards?

I know how you feel, the only thing you can do is to not pass up any more opportunities if they arise.

Mr. Flibble, lemme give you some advice. Back in middle school, I was a self-righteous nerd with a fear of flirting, though I did look at girls. But through ninth grade, I matured quickly. I got a haircut that made me look like the Terminator and as I grew, my boyish face transformed into the hard, angular face of a man. Now I flirt with girls regularly and I think some of them are beginning to look at me....

That's my .02%. Grow up. Stop being afraid. Confidence really turns women on.

jaeger115 wrote:Mr. Flibble, lemme give you some advice. Back in middle school, I was a self-righteous nerd with a fear of flirting, though I did look at girls. But through ninth grade, I matured quickly. I got a haircut that made me look like the Terminator and as I grew, my boyish face transformed into the hard, angular face of a man. Now I flirt with girls regularly and I think some of them are beginning to look at me....

That's my .02%. Grow up. Stop being afraid. Confidence really turns women on.

While I appreciate the advice, and I did used to have a problem with shyness.In this situation it is not the case, I flirt with this girl quie often even though she has a bf, she likes a lot of harmless flirting with friends. Although I maybe shy when I like a girl, after a while I usually suck it down and go talk with her. Friendswise I do a lot better with girls, better than with guys even, my best friend is a girl.

That happens to me all the time. ::Nods:: Every girl I have ever been interested either:

A) Turns out to already have a boyfriend.

B) Continually makes it clear that watching paint dry is much more fun than being with me.

C) Disappears before anything good can happen.

D) Seems to reciprocate, but that turns out to be because she's an extrovert and I'm an marked introvert, so I tend to see the world through introvert-colored lenses. (i.e. I'm overreacting.)

E) We kinda click, but we're so incompatible that nothing will ever come of it.

My advice. Deal with it, that's just life. It does seem like all the good girls are already taken by the time you get to them, but that's sometimes how the cards fall.

One slightly bizarre word of advice: don't be afraid to pull out the stops, ie- be desperate for a girl's attention. You don't want to be obvious about it, but a lot of guys try so hard to be cool that they talk themselves out of doing or saying things that might have actually worked.

Sorry to hear that she is unavailable for you . It happens. Two guys I know both wanted the same girl and just a couple of days ago one of the guys started going out with her and they are happy. I had to console the other. The best advice is not to dwell on it and just move on. There are other people out there. There is probably someone out there right now that you will click with but you can't be waiting for or pining over this girl when you meet her. She is happy where she is now so it isn't currently meant to be. It could always change but all you can do is put her on the "unavailable" list for now and move your sights to the "available". Good luck. I am sure most of us can sympathize (I certainly can).