StarDestroyer.Net BBS

This thread is for posting your latest anti-autotheft ideas. Ideas may range from the gimmicky to the outright bloody. To start with, here's mine:

As soon as the suspect enters the car, a warning is sent to a remote control that you take with you at all times. It gives you a live video feed of the shitbag's face and you may turn on the audio at your discretion, or take remote control of the car. A good idea to use would be to tell the suspect to get out using the intercom that's on the remote control. Once he's running, take remote control of the car and use it to run him down!

Tazer in the steering column, attached to a keypad, you have to enter in the right sequence within 10 seconds, or the thing stays armed. Scumbag touches it, he gets lit up like a Christmas tree, and the doors autolock from the outside so the car can only be opened from the outside after the system is activated. It also charges the body of the car itself, so if he tries to climb out of the window, he gets hardfried the second he touches metal. Basic gist of it, keeps the scumball "entertained" while you liesurely finish your shopping (if you desire even after the system alerts you on your pager or cellphone) and then you can come back, shut it all off, haul his now very dazed and fried ass out of of the car, stomp him good, tie him up and call the cops.

(someone have a car stolen recently?)

I always likd the luxury car on SNL that was a piece of rusted out shit on the outside but the interior is corinthian leather, deluxe audio, and all sorts of goodies.

best realistic idea: Develop a car with a detatchable steering wheel, column, or some integral part of the startup system. That is rather unwieldy so possibly something that could be removed from the steering column that makes it impossible or the car to start with or without a key. it would be small enough to fit on a keychain or in a purse.

best off the wall idea: Retinal scans with preprogrammed data for anyone you'll let drive the car. If the scan isn't confirmed in about 60 seconds spikes shoot out of the seat and impale the fucker.

Backseat Zergling.

In South Africa, carjacking is really common, so its legal to use deadly force to protect your car. There was a Darwin Award about it once...

Anti-tampering taser in door locks.
Anti-tampering taser in seat back tied into ignition.
Claymore mine instead of an airbag.
Auto-sealing doors and windows (unbreakable) combined with double strength CS gas release mechanisms.

I can think of much much more.

weemadando wrote:Anti-tampering taser in door locks.
Anti-tampering taser in seat back tied into ignition.
Claymore mine instead of an airbag.
Auto-sealing doors and windows (unbreakable) combined with double strength CS gas release mechanisms.

I can think of much much more.

A big spider under the sunscreen perhaps...

Seriously though. Just put an electrical lockout or a fuel shutoff (both manual) in a hidden location. Buzzards wont get far, if at all.

anarchistbunny wrote:Backseat Zergling.

A nasty surprise, indeed.

Disconnect one of the battery cables. You'll still end up with a busted window and torn up steering column, but odds are, the thief isn't going to take the time to check under the hood to see why the car isn't starting.

Another idea: Replace the airbag with a hidden shotgun in the steering column, and link it to the ignition. Watch what happens.

In South Africa, carjacking is really common, so its legal to use deadly force to protect your car. There was a Darwin Award about it once...

They use flame throwers under the car. I shit you not, you try to steal/hijack a car and you get a face full of rocketfuel and fire.

They use flame throwers under the car. I shit you not, you try to steal/hijack a car and you get a face full of rocketfuel and fire.

Wouldn't that scorch some of the car's interior?

I got some ideas:

-The "Denver Jockstrap" from the Naked Gun.
-Take a hammer to the exterior of the car, and rip the seats open. Then, any carjacker will pass it by in favor of a presentable car.
-Some small part essential to the car ignition sequence you can remove and take with you when nto driving.

jaeger115 wrote:This thread is for posting your latest anti-autotheft ideas. Ideas may range from the gimmicky to the outright bloody. To start with, here's mine:

As soon as the suspect enters the car, a warning is sent to a remote control that you take with you at all times. It gives you a live video feed of the shitbag's face and you may turn on the audio at your discretion, or take remote control of the car. A good idea to use would be to tell the suspect to get out using the intercom that's on the remote control. Once he's running, take remote control of the car and use it to run him down!

Its a good idea but sadly if you kill a scumbag with your car the police will arrest you.

Its a good idea but sadly if you kill a scumbag with your car the police will arrest you.

Not in South Africa.

An oldie, but a goodie. Shin level blades that slice offenders legs off when they tamper with the door.

Well, time for some realistic ideas:

What doesn't work:
Car Alarms: How many times have you heard an alarm go off, and you didn't give a shit?

"The Club": A thief can saw through the steering wheel in 15 seconds, remove the device, and be gone.

What does work:
Hidden Kill Switch: Install a hidden kill switch somewhere inside the interior. When you get out of your vehicle, flip the switch. My grandfather has one in his car. If a thief steals it, they can start the engine, but can only get about 20 feet before the engine is starved.

Tracking Device: These are getting very popular in Russia. When you notice your car missing, you simply call the police, and they track down the vehile. There are however very big drawbacks. First, you must make sure your local police have the right tracking equipment, many don't. Plus, if you travel to a town that doesn't have a so equiped police force, you're out of luck. Plus, you must also notice your car gone before the theives get it to a chop shop and start dismantling, or before they get it out of range if the device is simply a beacon, as opposed to a transmitting GPS.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:-The "Denver Jockstrap" from the Naked Gun.

What's that? Sounds nice and painful...

I like the anti-theft device from "The naked gun" the second one I think. The one with the arm that grabs the car jackers balls and... well, you get the picture.

One that works all the time would be a kill switch that stops one or more vital systems from working. If your really paranoid, make it so it can be easily removed but still hide the socket under the steer column. Thus you flip the swith and take the switch with you and the bugger will never know what hit him.

A new device I've seen is 'The Club' for the accelerator, brake, and clutch if you have one. It seems like a nice idea, not sure how good it is though, and I'd imagine its a pain to put and and take off. I would think that a simple bar run through all three (or two) peddles would work better. Can drive away if you press the gas and engage the break as well...

Wicked Pilot wrote:Well, time for some realistic ideas:

Tracking Device: These are getting very popular in Russia. When you notice your car missing, you simply call the police, and they track down the vehile. There are however very big drawbacks. First, you must make sure your local police have the right tracking equipment, many don't. Plus, if you travel to a town that doesn't have a so equiped police force, you're out of luck. Plus, you must also notice your car gone before the theives get it to a chop shop and start dismantling, or before they get it out of range if the device is simply a beacon, as opposed to a transmitting GPS.

Even then here in montreal when you installed this in a car it get stolen and shipped to arab countries and in some case i would`nt be surprised to hear that police are involved in it.

I have a friend who puts a clear big printed "Beware Wet Piss" sign on his drivers seat of his new Supra. Noone comes near it.

At the Volvo store, the dealer said that all the anti-theft stuff that makers put on cars is good for the amateur, and may even prevent your stereo being stolen. But the majority of actual grand theft auto is accomplished with a flatbed truck. Cars are big ticket items, and the motivation for car theft is big ticket money, not just joyriding.

A pro with a flatbed, I can respect. But some 2-bit recidivist asshole who takes my car for a joyride should have the car explode him up good.

Thermite on an cheaply replaceable but essential part when hotwired.

Malecoda wrote:At the Volvo store, the dealer said that all the anti-theft stuff that makers put on cars is good for the amateur, and may even prevent your stereo being stolen. But the majority of actual grand theft auto is accomplished with a flatbed truck. Cars are big ticket items, and the motivation for car theft is big ticket money, not just joyriding.

A pro with a flatbed, I can respect. But some 2-bit recidivist asshole who takes my car for a joyride should have the car explode him up good.

... frankly, I don't respect any asshole who wants to steal my car for the soul fact that its my car...

Larz wrote:

Malecoda wrote:At the Volvo store, the dealer said that all the anti-theft stuff that makers put on cars is good for the amateur, and may even prevent your stereo being stolen. But the majority of actual grand theft auto is accomplished with a flatbed truck. Cars are big ticket items, and the motivation for car theft is big ticket money, not just joyriding.

A pro with a flatbed, I can respect. But some 2-bit recidivist asshole who takes my car for a joyride should have the car explode him up good.

... frankly, I don't respect any asshole who wants to steal my car for the soul fact that its my car...

Agreed!! Leave my car alone...

One reason why I drive 10 year old cars (Z's mind you...)