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What is the dumbest tabloid story you've ever heard?

Posted: 2002-08-10 05:49pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
Once, I read a story that said "The sun will explode in six years". That's stupid! Morons laugh at it because it's stupid, and anyone with an IQ of over 50 laughs because of the scientific impossibilities of a medium-sized star going supernova in 6 years. Perhaps others can explain this in depth.

Then, I read a story that was headlined "One drop of [water] can kill you!". If that's true, then why am I still alive? Only the most toxic manmade substances can kill you with such small amounts.

For really stupid stories, read "World News Weekly". It's a black and white tabloid, and full of doctored images and made-up people. Most other tabloids have printed more believable stories, or only lie about celeberties nowadays.

Stupid stuff

Posted: 2002-08-28 01:54am
by GREAHSIAM
You mean that Elvis is not flying on a UFO with Marilin Monroe and Batboy and Chupacapra??. *sob*

Posted: 2002-08-28 02:00am
by The Yosemite Bear
I have been living in Yosemite for Nearly a DECADE I still haven't found those Dinosaurs that the World Weekly News inssited were still here.

Posted: 2002-08-28 02:00am
by XaLEv

Posted: 2002-08-28 02:06am
by The Yosemite Bear
No no dinosaurs in Yosemite Park

*Looks out a medow, while Unicorn grazes, with no predators or tourists to annoy it during the night time.*

*Feeds pack of Velocora(I mean Ostriges) a tourist*

Posted: 2002-08-28 02:55am
by Grand Admiral Thrawn
The United States was protected by Battleships right after 9/11

North/South (can't remember) Korea sent several Battleships.

Britian has several battleship-cruisers.



Sorry, a pet-peeves of mine.

Re: What is the dumbest tabloid story you've ever heard?

Posted: 2002-08-28 06:27am
by Witness
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:For really stupid stories, read "World News Weekly". It's a black and white tabloid, and full of doctored images and made-up people. Most other tabloids have printed more believable stories, or only lie about celeberties nowadays.
It doesn't really matter if they report the facts or not, it depends on how many facts they report and whose facts they are reporting. Validity or veracity is not the question, objective journalism is non-existant (at least in America).

For example, American media is heavily biased and pro-Israel. They conveinantly pick pro-Israeli guests and they always either let them have the last word or cut to a commercial break before the other side of the debate has a chance to respond. It's so easy to notice this shit that it's sickening anyone really buys into it.

Of course, it's not hard to figure out what's true and what's not. Everything's there if you go looking for it. The classified or censored stuff just comes from analyzing the unclassified or uncensored stuff and connecting the dots. Example, if A is true and C is true, there must be an intermediary B which is also true; if B is classified, so what? It still sits between A and C, doesn't it? In short, THINK! You can solve a lot of problems that way, especially if you learn from your mistakes, avoid jumping to conclusions, and asking yourself one question: "Does this make sense?" before you jump too far.

Re: What is the dumbest tabloid story you've ever heard?

Posted: 2002-08-28 10:46am
by Ryoga
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:For really stupid stories, read "World News Weekly". It's a black and white tabloid, and full of doctored images and made-up people. Most other tabloids have printed more believable stories, or only lie about celeberties nowadays.
I'd have to say that nothing can top the Evil Chinese Plot I 'discovered' a few days ago:

1.2 billion Chinese people will jump up and down at the same moment on September 2 of this year, and the resulting force will throw the Earth out of orbit.

To which I say: LOL!

Posted: 2002-08-29 01:27pm
by weemadando
One of my personal favourites was from an Aussie tabloid not long ago:

"Phoenician Settlement Found"

Apparently in about 300BCE some Phoenecians had taken it upon themselves to settle on the *east* coast of Australia. Yeah.

Posted: 2002-08-29 11:54pm
by SCVN 2812
"An Alien Raped My Weedwhacker!" - the Weekly World News

My favorite tabloid because it's all funny and doesn't screw with celebs, well most celebs. They are fond of saying the President has been replaced by a robot or alien duplicate.

Posted: 2002-08-30 12:14am
by Sea Skimmer
The UK has started construction of super tanker sized life boats because the British isles are sinking into the sea at a rate of 500 feet per year.

That was in some local job.

Posted: 2002-08-30 12:31am
by Howedar
500 feet a year? Do they have the foggiest clue how much that is?

The obvious answer is "Of course not!"