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Role Player Classes
By now, most gamers are familiar with the traditional four types of players: The Real Man,
The Real Roleplayer, The Loonie, and The Munchkin. Obviously, the creation
of the Four Types is meant to be a joke, as well as a gross oversimplification, but even so, it's time we
had a much more detailed oversimplification. So here, without further ado, is the Groening-style "FRP
Is One of the Nine Hells" summary of:

THE TWENTY-FIVE TYPES OF FRP PLAYERS

1. The Real Man - "Hot Diggity!! Gnoll outpost at twelve o'clock!! CHAAAAAAAARGE!!!"

2. The Real Roleplayer - "Don't start yet!! I need my two minutes to get properly into character."

3. The Loonie - "I sheathe my longsword and kiss the ogre on the lips."

4. The Munchkin - "Five arch-devils and two demigods? That's ALL?!
I guess I'll only need to use six of my rings for this encounter."

5. The Coward - "Yikes! Three kobolds!! Retreat! Retreat!"

6. The Troublemaker - "Just before the Mayor gives his speech to the town, I cast `command - vomit' on him."

7. The Novice - "I just rolled a 2 on my `to hit' roll. Did I want high or low?"

8. The Tactician - "The archer will move silently into position behind the podium,
carefully aiming at the sergeant. The mage will remain behind the door
in preparation of a `sleep' spell which will be centered at the table around which are the bulk of the guards.
Meanwhile, the fighter and I . . ."

9. The Quiet Type - "I dunno . . . I lob off another arrow at the monster this round, I guess."

10. The Punster - "You know how many clerics it takes to fix a light bulb? One to cast `cure light'."

11. The PC Infighter - "Since Ruth's been such a twit, I hit her in the face with my flail while she's casting her `find familiar' spell."

12. Joe I-Got-the-Rules-Down-Pat - "No, if you look in the DMG, page 87, paragraph 5, you'll find this spell won't affect griffons."

13. The Whiner - "Three points?! I take THREE POINTS OF DAMAGE!?!
Frank, what the hell kind of grudge do you have against me?"

14. The Bully - "Are you sure I don't make my saving throw? Are you ABSOLUTELY sure?
Do you want to keep your nose the way it is, Lou?"

15. Mr. Greedy - "So it's not evil? And it's not attacking? So what! I WANT THAT XP!!!!"

16. The Cheater - "I roll an... 18! It hits!" [Quickly grabs dice.]

17. The Chastiser - "And you DIDN'T SEE THAT TRAP COMING?
Hahahaha!! Just how long did you say you've been playing this game?"

18. The Kamikaze Guy - "I jump off our perch, taking careful aim to land dead center on the hobgoblin patrol.
Just before I hit the ground, though, I set off the `fire trap' on all my nine flasks of oil."

19. The Good Roller - "Oh, looky here. An 03 on percentile dice. If that door was trapped, I just found something."

20. The Bad Roller - "Oh, damn it all!! *Another* critical fumble!!"

21. The Braggart - "The thought of you attacking me isn't even interesting. I could get off a `sleep' spell and slit your unconscious
throat before you even get your longsword out of its sheath."

22. The Reminiscer - "Say, y'know, this is like the time our party thief spent twenty minutes trying to lock-pick an unlocked door."

23. Goody Two-Shoes - "Wait a minute. Even if they are orcs, we just can't kill them when they're asleep
And can't defend themselves."

24. The Overoptimistic Daydreamer - "After we get through this campaign, and have gained about nine, ten levels,
I'm going to buy me the finest battle axe +3 money can buy."

25. Short-Attention-Span Man - "Hmmm? What? Are we attacking now?"

THE 25 TYPES OF PLAYERS
by William Chase Bynum

I'm in a class all of my own
26. The player that everyone dreads

I'm a Tactician. Our old group consisted of our DM, a Troublemaker, a Rules Lawyer (what it call Joe I-Got-The-Rules-Down-Pat), a Novice, and me. It was interesting.

LT.Hit-Man wrote:I'm in a class all of my own
26. The player that everyone dreads

Killing your opponents in real life isn't a widely accepted means of playing.

When I play , Im a Kamikaze...I play maniacs or adrenalin junkies(better yet a juicer out of Rifts ) and go for broke through the whole adventure.....

PC Infighter.

Really enjoyed PKing MUDs. Many of them were filled with nothing but noobs; by 4 hrs, I was stronger than any of them who had played for weeks. Had the highest PK score in less than 3 days

Whilst I dont play D&D style games, I'm a cross between the real man and the tactician, cool.

Me, I'm a mix of tactician and the good and bad rollers. When I succeed, as often as not it's spectacular. When I fail, more often than not it is spectacular. One of my favorites was getting 98 and 00 on percentile dice in a row when rolling my luck on how badly things went to shit...

Another favorite was rolling up character attributes (again percentile dice). 95, 00, 72, 89, 80. I was rather pleased...

Edi

I'm a new catagory : The Careless. Doesn't pay attention to what other players are doing. (I once cast a delayed blast fireball into a smallish room crowded with the other PCs and a bunch of monsters fighting, then closed the door (with me on the outside) and waited for the "boom". It did work too... finished off the monsters, and didn't quite kill any PC. )

Probably a cross between 'The Real man and pc infighter....I always managed to end the night with my party(save myself)ending up dead..

I would probably end up as a troublemaker... My character would be a pyromaniac psionicist who abuses his flame-related abilities with wild abandon... "You call that a fireball? BURN, MOTHERFUCKER!"

EDIT: And that's while inside a nice friendly peaceful inn, looking at a candle...

Tactition. Spent five minutes coming up with a really detailed battle plan for taking on a small force of ice creatures, and then at the end the mage just blasted them with a fireball.

Short attention span gal!

And a munchkin.