StarDestroyer.Net BBS

A rather odd unsolicited email I received the other night:

Hello,

I am offering $50,000 2003 US dollars for the below equipment:

1. The mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a series wrist watch with z60 or better memory adapter. Or if in stock the AMD Dimensional Warp Generator module containing the GRC79 induction motor, two I80200 warp stabilizers, 256GB of SRAM, and two Analog Devices isolinear modules, This unit also has a menu driven GUI accessible on the front panel XID display. Or perhaps you have some reliable all in 1 units available?


2. The special 23200 or Acme 5X24 series time transducing capacitor with built in temporal displacement. I need this with complete jumper/auxiliary system


3. An age stopping finger ring if available.

VERY IMPORTANT: All equipment must be original in sealed closed casing of it's time. No old imitation electronic parts or materials are accepted. Please send photos of the above items so I can verify you have them available.

I will offer you $50,000 2003 US funds total for everything with the ring if you can teleport to me in the Boston area within the next 48 earth hours to conduct business in person.

Business in person is greatly preferred! If business cannot be conducted in person, I will send you a deposit only after proof you have them available, and then the remaining funds upon delivery of the time pieces.
Please also reply if you can recommend a reliable supplier in the Boston area.

Send a (SEPARATE) email to me at:
Green2boy4@aol.com
Thanks

My response:

I am in possession of the items you require. However, my Hyperdine ZX-80 Teleporter has been non-functional ever since it's use in my (narrow) return from Alpha Centauri. Therefore I will require you to travel to my location to make the purchase. Once you have the gear, you can travel back in time and prevent my trip to Alpha Centauri, thereby leaving my Teleporter intact. With my undamaged teleporter, I will be able to reach you tonight to complete the transaction, thereby removing the need for you to travel here in the first place. Simple, no?

His latest:

Hello,

If I had teleportation, I would not be searching for equipment in this manner to begin with. Please email photos of items so I can be sure you have them and then I will mail you funds for them.

Thanks

I need pictures of junk I can pass off as time travel equipment to this loon. Any help?

You made a time machine? Out of a Delorean?

HemlockGrey wrote:You made a time machine? Out of a Delorean?

Well if you're going to make a time-machine make it with style!

I think my cousin Marvin in Mount Vernon, Iowa has one on his stepdad's hog farm. I'll have to see if he's on AIM and can get a scan of the "original sealde closed caseing". I think it's in a large rectangular box, IIRC.

Don't forget to remind him that the tin-foil helmet is extra.

Just send him photos of a ring, a wristwatch and a capacitor. that's what he's asking for.

Except is supposed to be in the 'original sealed package', so technically all you need is the box with the company logo and a warning lable on the side. Got hold of Marvin, he's busy looking for it in the storage sheds.

I got an E-mail like that awhile ago too, on 12/30/02


Hello,

If you are a reliable supplier of the below equipment I am going to
need the following:

1. A mind warper generation 4 Dimensional Warp Generator # 52 4350a
series wrist watch with memory adapter.

2. The special 23200 series time transducing capacitor with built in
temporal displacement.

While these time pieces normally go between $5,000-$7,000 a piece, I
am having a hard time finding a reliable supplier.

Teleport to me within the next 48 earth hours and I will pay $40,000
2002 US cash.
Please only reply if you are reliable. Send a (SEPARATE) email to me
at: Tomnwrr@aol.com


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I wonder why he's so fixated on having the original sealed packaging. If I were that desperate to get my hands on that stuff I'd take what I could get.

WTF!?!?!

Maybe I should take some pics of all the shit I've got... I bet he could find a phased flux capacitance discharge unit in there as well.

Found it. It's the older European-voltage version, and it's missing the intrucctions, but it's sealed and got the proper driver installation disks to convert to North American settings. He's getting a pic ready.

Ok, I finally got them (Mount Vernon really needs better dialup support than 14.4K). I'm putting them up right now. It's of the 5X24 Capacitor (in sealed case), the 4350e Warp Generator Watch case, and the 4350a driver installation disk.


All three.


Backside of 5X24 case. Yes, I know it's very dark. Time machines come in very dark boxes.

Oh, and trust me, these are 100% legit.

Sold strictly as-is. Chameleon Circuit no longer covered under original warranty.