Something here to cheer up your day
Posted: 2003-02-09 11:59pm
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast
is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I
propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will
hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered
cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with
Chicago.
Runners-up:
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of
pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an
infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all
the worlds great literary works in Braille.
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on
your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums
unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even
it out.
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have
no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas
at a faster rate.
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as
a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought
in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet
to spin dangerously fast.
Honourable Mentions:
Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they
are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.
The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it's
easier to go fast when you're always going downhill.
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If
omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian
"pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan
to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."
Note: I didn't invent these. My dad found them on some website.
is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I
propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will
hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered
cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with
Chicago.
Runners-up:
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of
pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an
infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all
the worlds great literary works in Braille.
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on
your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums
unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even
it out.
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have
no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate ideas
at a faster rate.
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as
a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought
in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet
to spin dangerously fast.
Honourable Mentions:
Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they
are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.
The reason hot-rod owners raise the backs of their cars is that it's
easier to go fast when you're always going downhill.
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If
omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian
"pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan
to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."
Note: I didn't invent these. My dad found them on some website.
