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SatireWire wrote:Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of in his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application.

Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

Exonerate wrote:I remember seeing this elsewhere...

Exonerate wrote:I remember seeing this elsewhere...

Col. Crackpot wrote:it's actually copyrighted material from theonion.com. the mods would be wise to delete this thread.

jegs2 wrote:Getting raked over the coals at SB for not crediting this piece (been out of college for many years, so I generally don't think of such things unless I'm called on it). So...................

got it from a forwarded e-mail.

Datana wrote:

Col. Crackpot wrote:it's actually copyrighted material from theonion.com. the mods would be wise to delete this thread.

Actually, SatireWire, not The Onion. The address is http ://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/axis.shtml

Col. Crackpot wrote:

jegs2 wrote:Getting raked over the coals at SB for not crediting this piece (been out of college for many years, so I generally don't think of such things unless I'm called on it). So...................

got it from a forwarded e-mail.

even if you credited it, it can't be copied and posted verbatum. copyright law does however allow you to link to an original source. you can also post brief quotes, but not the whole thing.

jegs2 wrote:

Col. Crackpot wrote:

jegs2 wrote:Getting raked over the coals at SB for not crediting this piece (been out of college for many years, so I generally don't think of such things unless I'm called on it). So...................

got it from a forwarded e-mail.

even if you credited it, it can't be copied and posted verbatum. copyright law does however allow you to link to an original source. you can also post brief quotes, but not the whole thing.

Also was unaware it was copyrighted, as it was pasted into an e-mail with no source. Kill it if you wish -- I just thought it was funny.

Sektor31 wrote:I thought Satirewire was abandoned?

Captain tycho wrote:

Exonerate wrote:I remember seeing this elsewhere...

It was the opening sketch on SNL one time.

Pretty funny...

Darth Wong wrote:I edited the first message to correctly credit the author. If they were to ask us to remove it, I would naturally do so. However, it is pretty damned funny.