Most Bizarre Things You've Ever Heard

HemlockGrey · Post by **HemlockGrey** » 2003-02-10 08:32pm

I have two, both from the same person.

1) He overheard someone talking about the Egyptians, and said, verbatim:

"The Egyptians must have gone back in time and stolen our technology!"

2) He overheard my friend talking about the Daredevil movie, and said, dead serious:

"Yeah, I like Daredevil! He has keen eyesight!"

Darth Garden Gnome · Post by **Darth Garden Gnome** » 2003-02-10 08:37pm

My friend Mike, shortly after he woke up started writing something. He doesn't rememberwhenhe wrote it, but figured that must have been the time. the phrase I will now speak to you was actually in my sig for some time:

"To sleep is to close your mental door of frozen hotdogs, so that they may thaw in time for your dinner."

Also, when some idiot I know named Doug and I were arguing he said [about being in a war]: "America would beat the US."

Sonnenburg · Post by **Sonnenburg** » 2003-02-10 08:46pm

"I didn't eat any of it except what I ate." -My Wife

salm · Post by **salm** » 2003-02-10 08:56pm

"i dug out a carrot with a vagina. the highest bidder pays the shipping costs" some idiot on ebay

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2003-02-10 09:02pm

"Since when is that aginst the law! I bet your just making that up"-Me in one of my less steller moments in a Highway Patrolmen shorty after my 18th Birthday

"I wonder what would happen if you droped a match in a Gas-tank?"-Red-Neck Friend of mine

"Ok, How about an 16 Turret on a Ohio Submarine?"-The Design thread
"What about a flying Air-Craft Carrier based off the drigible base?-The Design thread

Both of the above made by the same person

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-02-10 09:08pm

*said last summer* "Well if we're gonna win this war against Islam..." - some stupid chick in Academic Decathlon.

Defiant · Post by **Defiant** » 2003-02-10 09:11pm

High School. Football jock is sitting in the front row. The teacher is explaining that countries in the Southern Hemisphere have seasons that are the opposite of what we have in the US. Jock looks thoughtful for a second, then raises his hand and says:

"Wait a minute, I thought we were in the southern hemisphere"

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-02-10 09:16pm

Mr Bean wrote: "What about a flying Air-Craft Carrier based off the drigible base?-The Design thread

Someone either watched too much Captain Scarlet, or read too many S.H.I.E.L.D. comics.

jaeger115 · Post by **jaeger115** » 2003-02-10 09:18pm

Some idiot in my ninth grade math class actually said that one could survive in the vacuum of space with only a gas mask and lots of thick clothing.

Anarchist Bunny · Post by **Anarchist Bunny** » 2003-02-10 09:20pm

Does hearing a kid snort a line of coke of the top of his desk, while class was going on count?

Post by **Rob Wilson** » 2003-02-10 09:21pm

"Concession Accepted!" - Transcend - to himself on one of his more stellar performances.
http://www.skayhan.net/Fame.htm - go down to the bottom of the righthand column, and you want the link "Re : [Transcend] War of 1812 [the real story]". You just can't make this shit up.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-02-10 09:23pm

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/sho ... adid=82431

Moon Landing Hoax, with Giant Tiny Alien Constructs and Shuttles, plus the complete inability to know how to analyze pictues or "enhance" them.

Don't blame me if you go insane.

Luke Starkiller · Post by **Luke Starkiller** » 2003-02-10 09:28pm

"Is Earth day the day Earth was founded?" - very dumb girl in my highschool.

paladin · Post by **paladin** » 2003-02-10 09:36pm

Rob Wilson wrote:
Mr Bean wrote: "What about a flying Air-Craft Carrier based off the drigible base?-The Design thread
Someone either watched too much Captain Scarlet, or read too many S.H.I.E.L.D. comics.

The US Navy DID experient with using dirigibles as aircraft carriers in the 1930s The dirigibles could only carry 4 to 6 fighters. The fighters would be used for scouting and protection. Launching and recovery was done with a trapeze that the planes would hook onto. It was interesting idea but technology quickly made it outdated.

With regards to the topic:

"Do I need to computer to use a modem to get on the internet?"

Pablo Sanchez · Post by **Pablo Sanchez** » 2003-02-10 09:40pm

A girl in my Sophomore year of Biology. The class was learning something about DNA that day, and I was waking up from a nap:

"Hey, teacher! You know how rocks, aren't like, connected to the soil, but mountains are like big rocks, and they're connected to the soil. What's up with that?"

To this I replied rather loudly, "That question is so stupid that it just ruined my whole freaking day!"

The class was rather amused, and I went back to sleep.

Bug-Eyed Earl · Post by **Bug-Eyed Earl** » 2003-02-10 09:51pm

Luke Starkiller wrote:"Is Earth day the day Earth was founded?" - very dumb girl in my highschool.

W
T
F

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2003-02-10 11:26pm

"Odouls is a great name for a beer. I was in a convenience store one time, looking for some good brew to drink, and I saw a six-pack of O'Douls sitting on the shelf. I thought, hey that's a great name for a beer! I think I'll try some! I went to get the six-pack out of the fridge, and then I saw the words "Non Alcoholic" on the label. I paused for a moment, put the pack back in it's place, and lamented the fact that such a good name for a beer was wasted on something Non-alcoholic. I then went and bought Heineken."

-Me, describing my motivations for purchasing said pack of Heineken.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-02-10 11:35pm

Alex tossing an M-80 into an empty oil drum at the local junk yard (Near my grandpa's house) we couldn't hear anything for the rest of the summer, and we were teenagers (Shopping parts) before they let us back into the junk yard.

Raxmei · Post by **Raxmei** » 2003-02-10 11:47pm

This came from my sister's web journal:

ps; It's Halloween.
So I ran into a devil who according to Jen looked like a Mormon gone wrong... with horns. And there was a guy dressed up as Pan. (But I think he's always dressed up as Pan so it's not a special Halloween thing.) Anyway, I asked the devil for the magic flower and he paused. He said someone is already in possession of the magic flower and that to acquire this magic flower would cause a cessation of a previous contract. And then I said I already knew who had the magic flower and his name was Stephen, Stephen Hoffman. Actually, Stephen would have already won possession of my soul too cuz I said I'd give it to him for some batteries but he just wanted a favor, so yeah, my soul is mine until I get the magic flower. Anyway, then I wrote my name in the book with my phone number and said he ain't getting my soul 'til I see the magic flower.

And then David (the super Christian) stole candy from him.

Phil Skayhan · Post by **Phil Skayhan** » 2003-02-10 11:53pm

I have half a brain - my friend Tom

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2003-02-10 11:57pm

The US Navy DID experient with using dirigibles as aircraft carriers in the 1930s The dirigibles could only carry 4 to 6 fighters. The fighters would be used for scouting and protection. Launching and recovery was done with a trapeze that the planes would hook onto. It was interesting idea but technology quickly made it outdated.

My current avatar is a blimp hanger from that time. Its located at Moffet Field in Sunnyvale, California.

It housed the USS Macon which crashed off the coast in 1935. Here is a link showing the same structure a long time ago.

http://www.naval-airships.org/zrs5.html

As for stupid things Ive heard, I saw a show where a creationist made an Ark with a pair of Triceratops waiting in line with the other animals to get on board.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-02-10 11:59pm

*bonus points for whomever can place this reference*

If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

XaLEv · Post by **XaLEv** » 2003-02-11 12:02am

Darth Fanboy wrote:*bonus points for whomever can place this reference*

If it weren't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college."

Lewis Black - Things which induce aneurysm.

Baron Mordo · Post by **Baron Mordo** » 2003-02-11 12:09am

jaeger115 wrote:Some idiot in my ninth grade math class actually said that one could survive in the vacuum of space with only a gas mask and lots of thick clothing.

"My suit's filling up with space air!"

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-02-11 12:09am

"There's no such thing as an opposable thumb! You're making that up!"
--My mom. I love her, but science isn't her thing.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Most Bizarre Things You've Ever Heard

Most Bizarre Things You've Ever Heard

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