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Bacon Good for you
Posted: 2003-02-20 09:14pm
by Mr Bean
Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever
ROCHESTER, MN—Bacon, long believed to contribute to heart disease and obesity, possesses significant health benefits, according to a study released Monday by Dr. Albert Gruber, the best scientist ever. "My research has found that three strips of crispy, mouthwatering bacon every morning can actually reduce cholesterol and help slow the aging process," the awesome Gruber said. "What's more, the bacon's positive effects are enhanced when combined with milk shakes and/or marijuana." In 1997, Gruber, a Mayo Clinic cardiologist, was awarded nine Nobel Prizes in Medicine for discovering that frequent oral sex with models cures cancer.
Gotta love the Onion
Posted: 2003-02-20 09:20pm
by neoolong
Yes, oral sex cures cancer. Hell ya. I think I need to stock up on some preventative medicine.
Re: Bacon Good for you
Posted: 2003-02-20 09:27pm
by MKSheppard
Mr Bean wrote:
Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever
And it's also been weaponized into a new biological weapon
for use against terrorists....hamthrax
Posted: 2003-02-20 09:36pm
by Wicked Pilot
You can't get your 72 virgins when covered with pork.
Posted: 2003-02-20 09:41pm
by neoolong
Wicked Pilot wrote:You can't get your 72 virgins when covered with pork.
I'd rather have the virgins though.
Posted: 2003-02-21 03:30am
by Darth Fanboy
They wouldn't be virgins after I was done...
Posted: 2003-02-21 03:32am
by The Great Unbearded One
The mans a genius....Bacon tomorrow morning I think!
Posted: 2003-02-21 03:36am
by Superman
mmmmmm... bacon
*drool*
Posted: 2003-02-21 05:09am
by Captain tycho
Superman wrote:mmmmmm... bacon
*drool*
[homersimpson] Mmmmm........72 virgins......[/homersimpson]
Re: Bacon Good for you
Posted: 2003-02-21 06:44am
by Frank Hipper
MKSheppard wrote:Mr Bean wrote:
Bacon Good For You, Reports Best Scientist Ever
And it's also been weaponized into a new biological weapon
for use against terrorists....hamthrax
Bah! You don't need to get fancy, just dip your bullets in bacon grease, and voila, instant terror weapon.
Posted: 2003-02-21 07:29am
by Peregrin Toker
There's a reason that Kevin Bacon is called so....
Posted: 2003-02-21 09:30am
by theski
This reminds me of a college sandwich we used to eat As Follows
1. Level one: Pork Chop
2. Level two: Hambuger
3. Level three: Swiss Cheese
4. Level four: Bacon
5. Level five: Chedder Cheese
6. Level six: Brawtwurst
7. Level seven: American Cheese
8. Level eight: Steak
9. Level nine: Pork Chop
MMMMMMMMM! Eating food with parents GOOD!!
Posted: 2003-02-21 04:19pm
by Zaia
Yuck. I hate bacon.
Posted: 2003-02-21 07:12pm
by neoolong
theski wrote:This reminds me of a college sandwich we used to eat As Follows
1. Level one: Pork Chop
2. Level two: Hambuger
3. Level three: Swiss Cheese
4. Level four: Bacon
5. Level five: Chedder Cheese
6. Level six: Brawtwurst
7. Level seven: American Cheese
8. Level eight: Steak
9. Level nine: Pork Chop
MMMMMMMMM! Eating food with parents GOOD!!
So was this before or after your heart attack?
Posted: 2003-02-21 07:17pm
by theski
No Heart attack yet. No high cholesterol either. Go Figure