Animated Films You Probably Never Saw (DW, Dis. seqs, obsc.)
Posted: 2009-08-09 01:06am
I'm a bit of an animation junkie, so I thought today I'd enlighten you with a few films I saw over the years that don't seem to ring many bells. Most of these I saw as a child and then picked up again when I was older, but that's not always the case. Be warned that most of these are not very good. If they were good, you probably would have heard about them earlier. Personally, I find them fascinating.
Oh, and these are all traditional animation, not stop-motion or CGI.
Freddie as F.R.O.7 (in the USA, "Freddie the Frog") (UK 1992)
Trailer
What was this movie? What was it about? Well, at first glance, it's about a frog who is also a secret agent. This is true. He also has magic powers and befriends a traditional Loch Ness-esque monster (a Nessie, if you will). He fights... vaguely defined evil and battles strange and baffling dialogue sequences with his poorly rendered and inexplicable accent. It's British animation, and it's actually not that bad from a technical point of view (from what I recall), but it's goddamn crazy. His car has lips. They had this on VHS at ye olde family video rental land in my youth, which is where I was originally exposed to this gem.
Watership Down (UK, 1978)
First part here, maybe all of it's up.
If you haven't seen this, shame on you. It's even out on DVD, unlike "Freddie the Frog", so you have no excuse. It's a lovely tale about rabbits who battle and bleed, and say "Sod off!", which makes it all worthwhile. Ostensibly a children's film, if you like scarring children. The animation is pretty splendid considering its budget, and the style is unique. Even the way the fable at the beginning is rendered is quite interesting. This is one I genuinely suggest you check out at least once. You should also have read the book by now, but I'm done expecting people to have read things. It only ends in tears.
This film was very well-received, and really deserved the praise it got. Nice violence, too.
The Princess and the Goblin (UK, 1992)
Part 1
It's my understanding that the creators of this movie had something to do with the TV abortion Super Ted, which should immediately tell you to steer clear. If you ignored that warning, and tried to watch it anyway, eesh... good luck. There's children in it, and they sing... poorly. I'm... I'ma gonna move on to the next film.
El Cid: The Legend (Spain, 2003)
Animated
This is a curious one, since it's a recent film (if 2003 is recent). I've seen it, but only in Spanish, so I can't attest to the quality of the story. However, the animation style is quite interesting and it's very well handled artistically. It's nothing of Disney's caliber, but they also didn't exactly have Disney's hundred-million-dollar budgets. I would genuinely recommend this film, assuming that the story is even halfway decent, but until I learn Spanish, I'm not going to know. I've heard criticism, but... I don't speak Spanish. I don't know if I'd made that clear enough yet. Also, this movie coined a phrase I use, and blast anyone who doesn't have enough obscure knowledge to recognize it! A "bobcat interlude" (technically a lynx but fuck you) is a completely unnecessary and downright bizarre transition in a film or other fictional work. Seriously, there's a lynx that shows up... not when any other characters are there or anything... and it makes a lynx noise... aaaand scene cut!
Nocturna (Spain, 2007)
Trailer (in English)
This is made by the same studio as above, except this one got the deluxe treatment and got an English dub. And you know what? I goddamn love this movie. It's ace. Rumor has it that it was made on a budget of three million dollars, but even if it wasn't that small, I'm impressed. The story is very cute, the style is good, and the integration of some CG elements (background cats) is done smoothly. I wish this had been released in theaters in the US, because I would have watched the hell out of this film. It's creative, fun, and dark. At the core of it, it's a movie about how the "night" functions, including many creatures with specific duties which are part of a vast nighttime enterprise. The main character from Nocturna itself (the land of night) is the Cat Shepherd, a really huge... guy... thing that sort of looks like a plush animal. He leads the cats that make children slumber, but is having problems, since one of the cats in his herd is a narcoleptic and can't seem to make one of the children sleep. Furthermore, there's a darkness brewing which is leeching the light from the stars and threatening to envelop the land. Yadda yadda, watch the movie. There's a pretty good monster looking thing at the end, and even that should please your "want to see a monster" sense.
Flight of Dragons (USA, 1982)
Video
I'll confess, I'm not quite certain why this movie didn't receive the same love as The Last Unicorn, since they're birds of a feather. Same studio did the animation (Rankin Bass) and everything. Anyway, this movie was based off The Dragon and the George, which was a book I tolerated. It's got that off-putting outsourced look to some parts of it, but it wasn't put together in a slipshod manner like some other movies I could mention. It takes a different form than the book in terms of pacing and the order of events, but that's just pointless plot blatheration. If you want to see a movie with dragons and wizards working together to save magic, then by God, this is the movie for you. I guess it's cute in a way, but it's not especially deep. Uh, not that many of these are. I'd rate it as one of the better ones on this list, if not splendid. I'm hoping at least a few people have actually borne witness to this thing, though. I don't believe it's ever been released on DVD, but I'm anticipating the day that it someday makes it entrance.
The Mouse and His Child (1977)
The whole damn movie right here watch it now
This movie is fucking obscenely depressing. I am not even joking. I'm going to bring one--one!--more film to light after this which might possibly be more soul-sucking, but I don't know if it actually surpasses this one. It's dark and makes you think, so no wonder it's not a common title on the shelves, eh? Here's a synopsis I picked up (since I haven't watched it myself in a while).
The Ringing Bell (Japan, 1981)
Part 1 (It's all there)
This is The Saddest Movie. Well, the saddest animated children's film I can think of. I hesitate to say much, since the sadness comes most from it being so unanticipated, but whatever. The animation's a little spotty, but it was made in Japan on a low budget, and imported with a bad dub. And this isn't me being one of those "grrr, dubs!" assholes. I'm talking about animation being imported in the old days and trust me, those dubs were genuinely poor. Anyway. Look past that. Watch the little lamb. Become invested in his struggles. Learn to love the sheep and sympathize with his endless plights. Admire his bravery! Watch him become stronger! Become confused by the eventual message of the work! Become depressed all day!
This one runs short, at about 45 minutes.
Rock & Rule (Canada, 1983)
Trailer
I'm not going to make a list of obscure animated movies people haven't seen but should and leave out goddamn Rock & Rule. It was Canada's first feature-length animation. It tanked. That's a shame, but I sort of see why. It's a trippy adventure through a post-apocalyptic concrete wasteland where a band made of mutated rat people are trying to make it big. In the process, they come across the legendary superstar Mok Yeager (look and his lips and figure out who he's based off, okay?) Mok wants to use the voice of the lead female singer to summon a demon from beyond, to prove his stage tricks are real magic and not just lights and mirrors. It's crazy and weird and not for children. It's available on DVD, so pick it up. The animation is remarkably good and the style is fascinating. A lot of critics hated this film and the way it looked, but that's because it simply had too much coked-up mutant rat titty for them to handle.
We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story (USA 1994)
Something
This movie was made, from my understanding, to give children a movie to watch while adults went to Jurassic Park. Or something. It's a Spielberg film and a Jurassic Park advertisement shows up pretty damn blatantly in the movie. Okay, I'm done with mentioning JP now. At its core, We're Back is a second-rate animated film that weaseled its way into theaters, as weasels are wont to do. But it's actually not that bad. The problem is, it's not that good, either. It is just goddamn forgettable. It takes place in New York, and there are dinosaurs, and there's a brief sequence where it genuinely looks like a T-rex is humping Spiderman (huh? Are your ears perked now?) Also, Professor Screweyes is the villain (gosh really) and his design came really, really close to being good, but fell at the finish. Got to admit, the screw eye and getting eaten alive by ravens bit? Pretty good, pretty good. But his stupid little paunch and spoooky theatrics make it seem like a... oh. Well, it is a children's movie, but I think Unico proved that being a kid's movie is no reason not to have a giant death skull lava monster or something. Frighten 'em good. Oh, actually, the dinosaur segments where the dinosaurs actually look like dinosaurs? Those are relatively awesome. Only the main dinosaur character is remotely tolerable, and I think that's one of the main problems with this movie. Oh, and also the little girl character? She's kind of a whore.
--
SET 2: DON BLUTH BLUTHATHON
--
The Secret of NIMH
The Secret of NIMH is based (loosely) off of the book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, a Newbery Award winning children's book. In fact, that book remains one of my favorites (at least, of its kind). The movie, however, does not. But it's not bad. Let me explain.
The animation quality in this film is highly impressive, so I have no complaints there (in fact, it rates higher in that department than some of the Disney films in the black-sketchy-line phase, such as Robin Hood). However, I think the color use in this film--as in many of Bluth's films--is goddamn awful. The style is bog standard, but I don't really expect much else.
At its core, the story is a bad adaptation. They take a book about self-sufficiency in the face of cultural adversity and make it a movie about magic rats. It's generally inoffensive, but it doesn't much "grip". Nicodemus, a fascinating character in the books, is reduced to Ye Old Wise Person with Long Mustache (or should that be "mousetache"? Ho ho. No, he is a rat.) They don't really touch effectively on the schism between the rats, which was due to quite reasonable considerations. All in all, it's a decent film, but it has shortcomings that keep in, in my mind, well within the "average" category.
---
An American Tale
Everyone has seen this movie, so why I'm reviewing it, much less summarizing it, I don't know. A mouse and his family come to America to avoid oppression in their native Russia (the pogroms). The mouse kid gets lost and keeps running into American things, then is reunited with his family. They overcome oppression that exists in America (in this movie, people who take advantage of others are represented as cats*) by creating a "monster" out of junk. At some point, there's the song, "Somewhere Out There", which is a great song, except right here, sung by these kids.
*Except for the cat that breaks this pattern, and other cats which might also break this pattern. Wait for me to review Fievel Goes West.
Okay. I'll admit it. This movie is really very good. Now, it's not my favorite animated feature (by a long shot), but I will confess that it's quality through and through. The animation is smooth, the color palette is much better, and the pacing is kept sensible. It also is an interesting piece for introducing kids to some of the realities of early American immigration. It can be surprisingly dark, which is good, since you can't do something about this time period without at least a little of that to smudge your rose-tinted glasses.
If you haven't seen it yet (who are you out there?) then do.
---
The Land Before Time
Okay damn guys, this is getting pretty silly. We've all seen this movie. It's Bluth's best, and I daresay trumps most of Disney's animated canon. This film is fantastic and deserves all the love it gets, if not all the sequels. I vaguely wonder what it would have been like if they'd stuck to the plan for the dinosaurs not to talk, but frankly, I think this version works so well, I wouldn't change it. There's a death scene in here that I think is almost as good as Mufasa's, and that's saying something. Bla bla, great animation (some of which gets mimicked to annoying effect in Titan A.E. but we shall return to this later.) I'd also love to see the sequences that were cut in full form, but... I'm not holding out. Watch this movie.
---
All Dogs go to Heaven
A-ha! Finally! It's so much more rewarding to talk about these. I dislike this movie, greatly, vastly, dearly, truly. The color palette makes me want to retch and I disliked the entire cast. There's the "dog who is bad dog criminal" who dies near the beginning. He goes into the afterlife, and is told that "all dogs go to heaven" (hey, that's like the title!) because they're all good and selfless intrinsically. Death is represented by a clock running down, and he realizes if he rewinds it, then he lives again. He does this, despite being told not to do so by an angelic dog of some description. Bam! He lives and meets up with his chum, Retarded Hat Dog. They get into adventures with an orphan with the unique gift of being able to talk to animals, basically teaching her to be a criminal in order to aid their efforts. They tell her that they're trying to get her money so she can be adopted (this is true. Only rich kids are lucky enough to be able to buy parents*.)
*This girl is stupid as hell.
Over time, there's the standard "girl finds out and cries" thing, the redemption scene, she finds a couple who will love her, etc. Also there is a big, homosexual alligator (since we're in New Orleans. By the way, sounds like a character like this is going to show up in Princess and the Frog. Stay tuned!) Eventually, the main dog has to choose between winding his clock (to keep him alive) and saving the girl. He saves the girl, she gets a home, he dies again, and this time, he's satisfied, having earned his place in Heaven. Or something.
Frankly, I find the narrative disjointed and badly paced. I do like how it was willing to incorporate darker elements, but I don't exactly like how they were handled. I found this film hokey and forgettable. The animation is inferior to some of his earlier works. I actually found my biggest barrier to enjoying this film was the characterization, which didn't encourage me to sympathize with anyone. It's a decent film in its own right, but I'd put it below NIMH.
---
Rock-A-Doodle
I have not seen this movie in a long time, and furthermore, I haven't been too keen to rewatch it. I recall it being overly bright (a complaint I have often; I enjoy more subdued and integrated color choices) and having an extremely traditional style. It's about a bird, and the bird is Elvis. No, shut up. He is. And he must sing to make the sun rise, only he doesn't actually have to sing to make the sun rise (it does without him), except he does (since it won't without him, uh, later in the film.) I've not been able to get a DVD of this, so again, I haven't much to say in its regard. The bird sings and gyrates. Maybe if you're into that, this is the movie for you.
It's my understanding that it was edited in some unfortunate ways for unfortunate reasons, but having not seen the movie recently, I'm not in much of a position to talk about the impacts these decisions may have made. I have to admit, though, I found the Grand Duke's design (the main antagonist) to be very uninspired, and perhaps that's one reason this one is much lower on my scale. A good antagonist (or should I say, a well-crafted antagonist?) is a major boon to any movie simplistic enough to include someone with a big "I'm Evil!" sticker on his chest.
---
Thumbelina
I see this movie for $5, like... everywhere. Anyway, it's a trippy trip ride through the small world we so often ignore, the.... Ugh, you know what, this movie isn't very good either. The most terrifying thing in this film is a bimbo frog's titties (although they are indeed quite frightening.) Thumbelina runs around being stupid and making poor choices, and then failing to answer for them. She almost marries a mole, which strikes me as pretty gross, but I get the feeling that it's supposed to. "Marry the Mole" is a fitting song, though, with a memorable tune. Also, "I Will Be Your Wings" is a surprisingly decent song considering the budget of the film (songs are often the first thing dropped, quality-wise.) Oh, also, there is a princess of corn. I thought this was important to mention. Also, a weird, rapist-y clown frog and a beetle who is an asshole. Animation has taken a nose dive here since Land Before Time, but I believe that was largely budget-related. The lady who voices Thumbelina also voiced Ariel in The Little Mermaid and it is quite obvious. This movie is weird and not particularly well-made, but it's not embarrassing. That dubious honor awaits us.
---
A Troll in Central Park
I said I wouldn't talk about this movie, but here I am, talking about this movie. Goddamn it. There was a phrase I heard once, and I don't remember where, but I will use it now. This movie sucks shit out of Hagrid's ass. (There's a mental image for you.) There's a troll... and he's in Central Park. But he's a good troll with a green thumb (lit.) who makes things grow. Also, he sings. He's been outcast to New York City by the other trolls, who are evil and have thumbs that turn things into stone. Mr. Greenthumb is the wack-ass in this family. This movie is just... bad. It's just a bad, bad thing that shouldn't be. It's sad, since Bluth obviously has talent, but this was just a mess and a half. Total flop, quality-wise and financially.
---
The Pebble and the Penguin
Ugh, penguin movies. (Okay, that's not fair--Happy Feet and Surf's Up are both great, and this was made a decade off from either) These are the penguins who give pebbles to other penguins as gifts. How cute. These are also the penguins who go on crazy adventures with puffins and get locked in tiny cages within the holds of ships. Tim Curry voices a penguin with huge pecs. Now, let's be fair on this one. Really, this film was fucked over by the higher-ups, who twiddled their dicks in the mix and really screwed this film up. Sadly, I don't like most anything of it, so I don't know how much their edits would really have changed the thing. However, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, and say that this film is simply an unfortunate thing, unlike Troll in Central Park. This film, perhaps, had potential, but "creative differences" and suchlike doomed it to being pretty mediocre. If you like penguins with pectoral mussels, then I might recommend it to you. Otherwise, I'm afraid I can't lend the suggestion. Haven't seen this one in a while either, to be honest.
---
Anastasia
Here's a film that definitely everyone saw. Can you believe Christopher Lloyd voiced Rasputin? Crazy. This film has absolutely nothing to do with history, but actually, I (and my friends) really enjoy it. The animation is superb, the songs are quite passable, and the pacing is done well. Someone on this staff (and give him/her a medal please) corrected the issue of Bluth films' terrible coloring, because here, all the colors are rich and selected perfectly. Yep, don't know what else to say. This is a neat film with some failing, but not low-budget or bad enough to warrant much discussion. Definitely his best since Land Before Time.
---
Bartok the Magnificent
The first sequel Bluth himself ever worked on. Hah, can you believe I've seen this? Yeah, it's about the little white bat from Anastasia, and here he's the good guy. He has a magic act, defeats a bear, and impresses Ivan Romanov himself (when Romanov was a kid so whatever, kids are always impressed by bear conquest.) This makes Ivan and Lucilla (antagonist) bitch about... commoners, I suppose. Really, they should be arguing about bats, but this seems to be lost somewhere along the way. Oh, and the bear is Bartok's friend (hah! Gotcha!) He goes to save Ivan from Baba Yaga, but Baba Yaga is like, "Syke! I never took him!" because it was actually Lucilla keeping him locked up, oooh nooo. Then Lucilla turns into a dragon (I will not explain this here) and gets defeated and yyaaaaayyy Ivan is safe. Or something. Damn, if you thought Anastasia took liberties...!
This movie is really run-of-the-mill sequel stuff. Whatever.
--
SET 3: DISNEY SEQUELS
Okay, guys. Disney talk got me a-thinkin', and here's the Disney sequels set. This one's a little tougher since I haven't seen them all. But I've probably seen too many. Talk on Disney sequel-age will be a motif here.
---
Let's start with The Rescuers Down Under. Damn right, it's a Disney sequel! What, didn't you see The Rescuers? Anyway, The Rescuers Down Under is definitely the best of the Disney sequels, which is understandable, since it was designed for theaters. (Some other Disney sequels have been in theaters, but just not in the United States. More on that later.) It's an older one (1990) and one of my favorite Disney movies ever, and it deserves all the love that it basically never got. It's superbly animated, very cool, and it has a great soundtrack. It's an action-packed adventure with snakes and fun in the outback and the villain is great. Okay, I don't really need to talk about this one, I just wanted to establish it for the sake of context.
---
OKAY. Now onto the sequels that actually make this list potentially interesting.
Return of Jafar, 1994.
Return of Jafar is the movie that made Iago a good character and thus set him up as the best character in Disney's Aladdin TV show. Or at least, that's the dominant facet of it for me. If you didn't watch the TV show, fuck you, it was great. Also, this film has Abis Mal getting hold of the black lamp that holds Jafar the genie and asking for retarded wishes and basically being a douchebag. Jafar is trying to make Abis Mal wish him free and bla bla. Iago kills Jafar at the last minute and saves the day, which shows that he's a great parrot.
This film is so totally average it almost blows my mind. The animation is... all right. The story is... all right. If you're not looking for a lot, by god, that's exactly what you're going to get. I do think it's an acceptable continuation of Aladdin, and can't say much more about it. I did think Jafar represented an effective villain in this, which is good, since otherwise it would suck like a dead fish. Oh, what's that "sucking like a dead fish" thing I was saying? Yes, yes, that's right...
Soon after, it was followed by Aladdin and the King of Thieves, which does, in fact, suck. The animation plummeted, the story is worse, and hokey hokey hokey. At least Aladdin and Jasmine get married, which is good, since otherwise Jasmine is the odd one out among the Disney princesses (like that's a bad thing.) Then again, I'm not sure how much worse this one actually is than Return of Jafar. I get a little nostalgic about the former (since it led into the TV series), but not the latter, so there's some crazy brain-bias in there. Oh, yes, bear in mind I first saw these when they were new. Amazing, huh? Yeah, I loved this group of films when I was younger. Among the Disney sequels, I'd say they're worse than some and better than some.
---
Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas
Yeah, the one with Tim Curry as an organ. The animation is bad and the songs are bad, but all in all, the movie could have been worse... I suppose. To me, it ranks slightly below the Aladdin sequels, which is too bad, since Beauty and the Beast is, in fact, my favorite Disney film (followed by Lilo & Stitch). They introduced a couple new characters, but who gives a shit? Oh, also, the Beast's name is "Adam", which is a shitty name, so I don't acknowledge it. Except right there, in my last sentence. Okay, plot... it's Christmastime and the beast doesn't want to celebrate it, since apparently Christmas was the night of his transformation (whatever). Belle is like, "naw, bitch! We gonna party!" and thus goes about trying to prepare for a celebration to lift his spirits and whatnot. Meanwhile, the organ (Forte) tries to convince the Beast to not fall in love, since the organ actually likes being an organ (instead of a composer) and doesn't want to be human again. At the end, uh, the beast is like "Woah, this guy's an asshole" and the organ dies. I guess. Do we ever know what happens to things that get broken in the castle? If you're a cup and you shatter, did you die? Did you die horribly? When everyone changes back, are you a smattering of broken-up corpse? Why did Chip only lose a tooth instead of a representative fraction of his person, such as a corner of his skull? Uh, yeah. It's a film about Christmas and it doesn't work well even at that time of the year, so let's go on to the next movie.
Belle's Magical World
This one is apparently the remnants of a TV show they tried to do, which explains the horrible animation, if not excuses it. It's the Disney "film" that'll give you the most crazy-eye, I promise. Oh, what's "crazy eye"? Well, it's one of my guilty pleasures in animation (and comics, for that matter.) "Crazy eye" is when a character's eyes don't like up properly, so no matter how serious the scene, it ends up irredeemably comical. There's nothing like the Beast roaring while being all <_>. Yeah, I used an anime-style emoticon to represent that. It doesn't work well with the other type. ... Where the hell was I? Oh, right. This is a bad news bear film. Just don't watch it. It's a shoddily cut-and-pasted sequence of failed TV project. I honestly think this film is largely responsible for the early hostile reaction to Disney sequels. And if that's true, it's warranted (not that the ones before this were that damn great either, except Rescuers Down Under, but I discuss that separately.) I own this on DVD, since I got it on eBay along with the original film on DVD. I'm not sure it's even worth the space in my DVD folder. Certainly not if I'd kept the box. Eesh.
---
Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World
I haven't seen this since elementary school, so all I know is that I didn't like it then. I'll update this if I ever watch it for a second time.
---
Lion King II: Simba's Pride
... Tee-hee. Here's a confession for you. I really like this movie. I think Zira is just as cool as scar, and I like almost all the music. Ohhh, Vitani is also cool. It's Romeo and Juliet, with lions, which isn't that much worse than The Lion King being Hamlet with lions, plus substantially ripping off Kimba the White Lion. The lions are animated surprisingly well, we get some good visuals in a termite mound for the villain (not as good as Scar's goose-stepping hyenas, but alas and alack.) In this movie, Simba's daughter (why are these lions only having one cub at a time?) is a spunky little shit and she runs around and ends up finding the lions in exile, aka, those who supported Scar during his uprising (where were these lions in the original movie, you ask?) These lions tend to be more darkly colored, which means they're eeevil. Anyway, Simba's daughter, Kiara, meets Kovu (Zira's son) at the edge of the exile's territory. Zira and Simba find out and they're like sooo pissed. They part ways. Then, Zira realizes that she can someday use Kovu as a weapon if she's smart. And she is. she gets Kovu integrated into Simba's pack by making him go forth and proclaim he has no right to be in exile, as he wasn't even born at the time. And Simba is all "mmm but you look kind of evil" and so he's a jerk, but eventually everything smooths over. Kiara and Kovu fall in love, shit hits some fannage, Kovu's plot is revealed post-him-giving-it-up, angst, angst. Then, at the end, the lions in exile can come back, following a lion war and Zira failing to rally her lionesses once Simba admits that he was probably a dickface. And he was a dickface. Uh, Timon and Pumbaa are also there.
It's got a consistent style with the first movie and the production value is good. Originally, Zira was going to commit suicide at the end, which would have been AWESOME, but Disney execs censored it. Dammit. I like Zira and Vitani both, though, and Vitani gets a good ending. Ebert and Roeper both gave this movie a thumbs-up, if that means anything to you.
---
An Extremely Goofy Movie
Never saw it.
---
Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
What if The Little Mermaid happened backwards, AND sucked really hard? Then this is the movie you get! Oh, except her daughter has black hair. Anyway. At the end, they return to the sea! Thus proving that you shouldn't run off from your goddamn family and get married at 16, as Ariel did. What a fucktard. Not that her daughter is any better. Then again, the point of the movie is that Ariel can't raise a child worth a damn. Or maybe that isn't the point, but that's how I read it. Definitely a member of the Disney sequels of massive suckitude. The villain is Ursula's sister, who is like Ursula, except dumber and thin. And more poorly animated.
---
Lady and the Tramp II, Cinderella II, Hunchback of Notre Dame II, and 101 Dalmatians II I have not seen.
---
Lion King 1 1/2
This one's a weirdie, since it's basically a clip show shown MST3000 style, with Timon and Pumbaa including commentary. Except there are genuinely new sections, and they're well-handled when they show up. It's... odd. I don't really think it's bad, but it's not that good. It hits me as being kind of a TV-special type thing, not worthy of a release as a movie, but not bad in its own right. Basically, it traces Timon and Pumbaa's background and their involvement in other movie events. It's pretty funny, in its way, so they didn't completely scrimp on the story-writing. The new bits generally focus on Timon's past with the meerkats, including his mother. Yadda yadda. Animation is quite good in some portions, surprisingly so.
---
Mulan II
Dear fucking god this movie is a trainwreck. Basically, the chums from the first Mulan marry a bunch of twittering princesses. And all that "women are cool" stuff from the first Mulan? That shit is dead and gone, my friend. This is about chasing butterflies and talking about men. Tee-hee. Also, Mushu, who is tolerable in Mulan, is the world's most cosmic jerk in this film. Also, the ending is terrible. Ugh. See, this is the type of film I was trying to avoid during my years of turning a blind eye to Disney sequels altogether.
---
Tarzan II. Haven't seen it.
---
Lilo & Stitch II: Stitch has a Glitch
This one's actually pretty all right. It has a *~*magical*~*-ish ending, but that's a minor complaint. For the most part, they stayed true to the heart of the original film, which is a mercy. If they totally fucked up the sequels to L&S AND B&tB I'd have a goddamn apoplectic fit. Nope, this one had a budget and someone clearly cared about how it progressed, even if it doesn't recapture the glory of its predecessor. The continuity of this film is very unclear, however, since other videos were made that directly contradict it. Stitch does things, and Lilo does things, and Stitch almost dies, but he doesn't die, and we're all very happy for him. I was glad to see more of the characters, which was the main thing, although unfortunately, Gantu doesn't show up. Man, though, are those side-character aliens gay or what. See, I try not to be one of "those" girls, but... but man.
---
Kronk's New Groove. Haven't seen it! Heard it sucked, but I'll defer my judgment.
---
Bambi II
This is the best of the Disney animated sequels. It has Patrick Stewart, too, which is a contributing factor. Anyway, this is about Bambi growing up, with goddamn Patrick Stewart as the father how cool is that. This film was actually released in some theaters, but again, not in the United States. It's a shame, though, since it deserved to be. The animation is downright excellent and the story is really very good. I think it stands above members of the Disney canon, and not just the shitty ones (like The Black Cauldron blugh.) They were very faithful to the style, the animation is superb, and the voicing is convincing. Actually, I like this more than Bambi proper, and not just because the original Bambi is boring (YEAH I SAID IT.) This one focuses a lot on parenting and how single fathers are perfectly capable of rearing young. Ronno shows up as a youth. Yeah, you should see this movie. I liked it a lot, although with animated films, I'm not super difficult to impress. It's a good movie to have going on in the background when you're working.
---
Brother Bear II is another I've not seen, perhaps since I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE THE FIRST ONE EH. I missed Fox and the Hound II, too. ("missed")
---
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time
Did you know what? I rented this movie for A DOLLAR when there was nothing else I wanted to see. ... And I liked it. I really liked it. This movie is pretty awesome, especially taking its budget into account. This film retcons the original Cinderella from the scene where Anastasia is having her foot tried out with the slipper, onward. It's a good retcon, too. Cinderella is a badass when she's on screen, which isn't all the time, since the movie is actually mostly about Anastasia, her redheaded sister. Essentially, the evil godmother gets her hands on the wand from the fairy godmother, uses it to time travel, and rigs the whole deal. Ergo, Cinderella has to win with magic against her, not acting in her favor. She manages to do this by way of a little cleverness and a surprising amount of kickassedness. There's a twist on the pumpkin carriage near the end which quite impressed me. Pretty neat. Also, the prince is actually a character you can sympathize with. He has a personality! Isn't that amazing? It's got a cloying angle with the "true love" stuff, but that was the core of the first movie, so I forgive it. I like this film a lot and I like how it changed the continuity. Astonishing!
---
The Little Mermaid III: Ariels' Beginning
I like it more than #II, as if that's saying anything. Ariel runs around singing stuff and Triton's a dick, and we meet Ariel's sisters a bit more. There's a manatee in this movie who is super cute, I'll admit. The music is lame, which is funny, since the entire story is about music. Ariel and Sebastian are pretty tolerable, though, and they form the spine of the story. The animation definitely took a step up, though. This and Cinderella III both look exceptionally good, and certainly better than some feature-length animated films which have graced theaters.
---
Return to Neverland
Here's another oddity, in that this movie is quite tolerable. The beginning seems a little Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe ripoffy, but oh well. Wendy's daughter is a hardass who runs around WWII England being cool. She is going to be sent off to the countryside, however. Anyway, she runs into Peter Pan and ends up going to Neverland. She almost kills Tinkerbell (if only!) and runs into Hook, who presents her with an offer to return home, which is her greatest desire. See, she's not looking for escapism, it kind of found her. There's too much "yyaaaayyy faith" crap in this film, but it's Disney and that shit's to be expected. Oh! But let's talk about the interesting part--the new beast!
The crocodile is over with, and doesn't appear in this film. What does? Why, an octopus that rapes. Okay, we don't know he rapes, but if you don't think "hentai" within thirty seconds of seeing this octopus, you are a sheltered fool. He spends basically his entire onscreen time ripping the clothes off of Captain Hook. I need to grab some screenshots of this, come to think of it.
---
SET 4: Balto and Dreamworks
Balto
Balto is a movie about the dog, sort of. I mean, not really. The dog, Balto, is famous for helping get supplies to Nome to prevent people from dying, but that's about the whole of it. He was a really damn good lead dog. Ta-daa. In the film, he's a half-wolf half-sled dog outcast who is friends with a goose and two small polar bears. He wants to help get supplies back to Nome to save a little girl who is coincidentally the owner of a really hot lady dog whom he fancies. However, a different dog, Steele, is the legit leader of the team, hates Balto, and wants that pretty dog to be his. So there's the antagonist/protagonist thing for you. Eventually, Balto (with the aid of the spirit of the wolves, sort of. It's a hallucination) overcomes adversity, gets the diphtheria medicine to Nome, gets accepted by everyone, and gets the girl. It's a very standard kind of movie, plus dogs. I dislike that they used a historical figure for the movie (and the explanation for the northern lights is offensively stupid), but all in all it was made with care and it's a good children's movie. The characters are handled relatively well, and the adventure has its ups and downs, the animation is quite good, etc. I rather wish I'd seen this in theaters, actually. It spawned some horrific sequels, which I've yet to see in any greater detail than snippets. The animation in those sequels is painful, so I've never had much of a reason to waste the hours on them.
---
Now some Dreamworks!
---
The Prince of Egypt
This movie was handled very well, but I don't like it. Heck, I don't even like it as much as King of Dreams. I found the religious aspect way too overpowering in this film, and it felt like blatant pandering to the Christian demographic. Now, I must admit, that might have been a good business move for them. Disney movies are usually popular (or were) with that crowd, and this was a good way to urge them in Dreamworks' direction instead for animated entertainment. It has some well-handled dark parts, gets pretty intense, lots of conflict, all that good stuff. Its budget was fairly meager compared to Disney's films, but it made a lot of money and remains, apparently, a staple among Christian movie collections now. The animation here is exceptional, but I strongly disagree with those who say it bests Disney's, or at least, Disney's contemporary works. Treasure Planet and Lilo & Stitch are probably the best animated films ever made, from a technical standpoint, and I stand by that until something new emerges. This movie relied on a lot of simple shots and angles, which is easier, and does the job, but doesn't compare from the animation angle. I mean, not that it needed those things, but you get my point. Anyway, it's Old Testament, and God's a shithead, but at least you can sort of see where Moses and the Pharoh are both coming from. Solid movie despite its historical inaccuracies, etc.
---
The Road to El Dorado
This movie had exceptional production and looks great. Also, they did a respectful job making the natives look native, without whitening them up or making the presentation appear caricatured in a racist manner. The plot was scripted carefully and the visuals are highly impressive. It's a fun movie with a spirited, upbeat nature. The main female character is intelligent, fun, and drawn in a more realistic manner than the Disney-type princesses. Shockingly, it's very good all around. Perhaps just as shockingly, I don't enjoy it that much. I won't dispute that it's an excellent picture, but some part of it was very difficult for me to identify with. Anyway, it's about two Spanish guys sneaking aboard Cortez' ship to seek out gold in the New World. They get there and, with a map, do indeed find El Dorado. They're treated as gods due to them fitting the native prophesy. There is an adorable armadillo. They come to like the native people and have reservations about exploiting them. They are helped by a thief girl who is fun and has massive hips. They find themselves in a power struggle between the high priest and the chieftain. This movie has a lot of conflicts in it, which was something I highly appreciate. There are conflicts between the two men, conflicts between them and the native culture, conflicts within the native culture, conflicts involving Cortez (who is aptly displayed as an asshat), and conflict between them and a giant stone jaguar. Yes, it's handled quite well, I think. Good movie. You can pick it up for $5 or less now, as with most (if not all) of Dreamworks' animated canon. Fully recommended.
---
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
Damn does this movie ever have some good horse animation. The backgrounds took a beating, budget-wise, but I think that's pretty much Dreamworks' modus operandi (it does save a lot of money, since backgrounds take so much artist time). The story is not very gripping, but it's fun and quite watchable. It's about a mustang in the west, and his view on a lot of the changes that came with the west becoming more "civilized". He gets captured by the US army, who try to break him. He encounters a Native American who is captured, who helps him escape. The Native guy is a nice person, naturally. He takes Spirit (as that's the horse's name) back to his camp and tries to tame him in a kinder way than the army asshats. Spirit, of course, was captured because he got all gaga for the Lakota guy's lady horse. The Lakota guy eventually lets Spirit free, realizing that he doesn't want to be a part of the village's operation. Eventually, Spirit fucks up a train. And then he rocks out. Near the end, he does encounter the main antagonist, the Colonel from the Army camp, again, but the Colonel lets him go out of respect, since to be fair, Spirit is a pretty badass horse. You've definitely got to suspend your disbelief for this film, and again, I'll note that I wish animated films steered clearer of historical events. However, I do like that the horses don't talk. It's narrated by Spirit, but he can't speak, and neither can Rain (the mare). There's a lot of visual communication, and the animation remains highly impressive. It's a solid style, if not super distinct. The story gets a B- from me, but the animation gets an A-, if we don't include the backgrounds. Another nice thing is that this film has almost no cutesy things. There are no sidekicks or that sort of thing. It's a very straightforward presentation. Recommended. Oh, and James Baxter worked on this! I can't forget that. He's the guy who animated Quasimodo, and he is really damn good. People are all like, "Oh, Glen Keane, you're so amazing, whuh whuh whuh" and I'm like, yeah, fair enough, but Baxter deserves love too. Baxter also animated Belle in Beauty and the Beast, as well as Moses in King of Egypt. Ah, yes, and he directed the opening to Kung Fu Panda, since his studio did the 2D stuff.
---
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
As long as you bear in mind that this movie has almost no relation to Sinbad, then... enjoy! This is definitely one of Dreamworks' weakest, maybe the weakest of all, but I enjoyed it. It is for older audiences than most animated features. There was a lot of 3D used, which isn't my favorite, but it's acceptable here. They used 3D models for some long shots where it wasn't obvious that the characters weren't traditionally animated. This should anger me, most people think, but it doesn't. If you need to be paying close attention to even notice, then who cares? Animation is about telling a story in a versatile medium. If there are times when an animator's illustration isn't required and you can save money, a substitute figure is okay. Disney also did this for crowd sequences in Hunchback of Notre Dame and almost nobody even noticed. However, the backgrounds definitely could have used less of it, since sometimes it's very noticeable that the backgrounds were done in 3D, and it doesn't look good. Furthermore, the Roc definitely should have been traditionally animated. It looks disjointed in the feature proper. However, Eris, the goddess of discord (uh, she's a Greek goddess, whaaaat) is animated superbly. Couldn't ask for better. Her effects are fantastic. Yeah, did I mention that despite being Sinbad, almost everything is Greek? I have no idea why they did this. Anyway, kind of weak, but fun and watchable. I blame a lot of its failure on Jeffery Katzenberg. This was a film, like The Iron Giant, that I think execs wanted to fail. It was a time to be bailing on animation, and they needed a reason, so they made one. It's a real shame.
---
Joseph: King of Dreams
I'm... not sure why this was a direct-to-video release, honestly, since it's got the style and substance to have been theater-bound. I liked it more than Prince of Egypt, too. The songs are of limited quality, but that's not majorly important. It's animated splendidly, looks beautiful, and presents a lot of sides to the issues at hand. It, like Road to El Dorado (but decidedly unlike Sinbad) has many conflicts working at different levels throughout the feature. The Egyptians aren't antagonists, which is nice. It's more about successful integration, kindness, and forgiveness than anything. Which is weird, because you'd think for that kind of thing, you wouldn't use an Old Testament adaptation. He has his "coat of many colors", despite this being a mistranslation. You can understand why his brothers wanted to be rid of him. Oh, though wolves are portrayed negatively, of course. And this makes me sad, since wolves are rad.
----
Still need to review some more, such as:
Annabelle's Wish (Part 1)
Cats Don't Dance
Pippi Longstocking (the Nelvana one)
Osmosis Jones
Unico
Unico and the Island of Magic
Oh, and these are all traditional animation, not stop-motion or CGI.
Freddie as F.R.O.7 (in the USA, "Freddie the Frog") (UK 1992)
Trailer
What was this movie? What was it about? Well, at first glance, it's about a frog who is also a secret agent. This is true. He also has magic powers and befriends a traditional Loch Ness-esque monster (a Nessie, if you will). He fights... vaguely defined evil and battles strange and baffling dialogue sequences with his poorly rendered and inexplicable accent. It's British animation, and it's actually not that bad from a technical point of view (from what I recall), but it's goddamn crazy. His car has lips. They had this on VHS at ye olde family video rental land in my youth, which is where I was originally exposed to this gem.
Watership Down (UK, 1978)
First part here, maybe all of it's up.
If you haven't seen this, shame on you. It's even out on DVD, unlike "Freddie the Frog", so you have no excuse. It's a lovely tale about rabbits who battle and bleed, and say "Sod off!", which makes it all worthwhile. Ostensibly a children's film, if you like scarring children. The animation is pretty splendid considering its budget, and the style is unique. Even the way the fable at the beginning is rendered is quite interesting. This is one I genuinely suggest you check out at least once. You should also have read the book by now, but I'm done expecting people to have read things. It only ends in tears.
This film was very well-received, and really deserved the praise it got. Nice violence, too.
The Princess and the Goblin (UK, 1992)
Part 1
It's my understanding that the creators of this movie had something to do with the TV abortion Super Ted, which should immediately tell you to steer clear. If you ignored that warning, and tried to watch it anyway, eesh... good luck. There's children in it, and they sing... poorly. I'm... I'ma gonna move on to the next film.
El Cid: The Legend (Spain, 2003)
Animated
This is a curious one, since it's a recent film (if 2003 is recent). I've seen it, but only in Spanish, so I can't attest to the quality of the story. However, the animation style is quite interesting and it's very well handled artistically. It's nothing of Disney's caliber, but they also didn't exactly have Disney's hundred-million-dollar budgets. I would genuinely recommend this film, assuming that the story is even halfway decent, but until I learn Spanish, I'm not going to know. I've heard criticism, but... I don't speak Spanish. I don't know if I'd made that clear enough yet. Also, this movie coined a phrase I use, and blast anyone who doesn't have enough obscure knowledge to recognize it! A "bobcat interlude" (technically a lynx but fuck you) is a completely unnecessary and downright bizarre transition in a film or other fictional work. Seriously, there's a lynx that shows up... not when any other characters are there or anything... and it makes a lynx noise... aaaand scene cut!
Nocturna (Spain, 2007)
Trailer (in English)
This is made by the same studio as above, except this one got the deluxe treatment and got an English dub. And you know what? I goddamn love this movie. It's ace. Rumor has it that it was made on a budget of three million dollars, but even if it wasn't that small, I'm impressed. The story is very cute, the style is good, and the integration of some CG elements (background cats) is done smoothly. I wish this had been released in theaters in the US, because I would have watched the hell out of this film. It's creative, fun, and dark. At the core of it, it's a movie about how the "night" functions, including many creatures with specific duties which are part of a vast nighttime enterprise. The main character from Nocturna itself (the land of night) is the Cat Shepherd, a really huge... guy... thing that sort of looks like a plush animal. He leads the cats that make children slumber, but is having problems, since one of the cats in his herd is a narcoleptic and can't seem to make one of the children sleep. Furthermore, there's a darkness brewing which is leeching the light from the stars and threatening to envelop the land. Yadda yadda, watch the movie. There's a pretty good monster looking thing at the end, and even that should please your "want to see a monster" sense.
Flight of Dragons (USA, 1982)
Video
I'll confess, I'm not quite certain why this movie didn't receive the same love as The Last Unicorn, since they're birds of a feather. Same studio did the animation (Rankin Bass) and everything. Anyway, this movie was based off The Dragon and the George, which was a book I tolerated. It's got that off-putting outsourced look to some parts of it, but it wasn't put together in a slipshod manner like some other movies I could mention. It takes a different form than the book in terms of pacing and the order of events, but that's just pointless plot blatheration. If you want to see a movie with dragons and wizards working together to save magic, then by God, this is the movie for you. I guess it's cute in a way, but it's not especially deep. Uh, not that many of these are. I'd rate it as one of the better ones on this list, if not splendid. I'm hoping at least a few people have actually borne witness to this thing, though. I don't believe it's ever been released on DVD, but I'm anticipating the day that it someday makes it entrance.
The Mouse and His Child (1977)
The whole damn movie right here watch it now
This movie is fucking obscenely depressing. I am not even joking. I'm going to bring one--one!--more film to light after this which might possibly be more soul-sucking, but I don't know if it actually surpasses this one. It's dark and makes you think, so no wonder it's not a common title on the shelves, eh? Here's a synopsis I picked up (since I haven't watched it myself in a while).
Fuck, that's right. They're taken into slavery and forced to steal, then the misadventures start. Geez. Enjoy. (Hey, wind-up toys! How cute!)Plot: A toy mouse and his child desire to be free of having to walk in endless clockwork windup circles. After falling into the rubbish they are carted away to the "tip" where they are found and taken into slavery by the evil Emmanuel Wolfington 'Manny' Rat III. Manny sends them to steal a jar of peanut brittle from the bank, but this goes wrong and the mouse and child fall into a series of mis-adventures. All the while they search for a way to become self-winding.
The Ringing Bell (Japan, 1981)
Part 1 (It's all there)
This is The Saddest Movie. Well, the saddest animated children's film I can think of. I hesitate to say much, since the sadness comes most from it being so unanticipated, but whatever. The animation's a little spotty, but it was made in Japan on a low budget, and imported with a bad dub. And this isn't me being one of those "grrr, dubs!" assholes. I'm talking about animation being imported in the old days and trust me, those dubs were genuinely poor. Anyway. Look past that. Watch the little lamb. Become invested in his struggles. Learn to love the sheep and sympathize with his endless plights. Admire his bravery! Watch him become stronger! Become confused by the eventual message of the work! Become depressed all day!
This one runs short, at about 45 minutes.
Rock & Rule (Canada, 1983)
Trailer
I'm not going to make a list of obscure animated movies people haven't seen but should and leave out goddamn Rock & Rule. It was Canada's first feature-length animation. It tanked. That's a shame, but I sort of see why. It's a trippy adventure through a post-apocalyptic concrete wasteland where a band made of mutated rat people are trying to make it big. In the process, they come across the legendary superstar Mok Yeager (look and his lips and figure out who he's based off, okay?) Mok wants to use the voice of the lead female singer to summon a demon from beyond, to prove his stage tricks are real magic and not just lights and mirrors. It's crazy and weird and not for children. It's available on DVD, so pick it up. The animation is remarkably good and the style is fascinating. A lot of critics hated this film and the way it looked, but that's because it simply had too much coked-up mutant rat titty for them to handle.
We're Back: A Dinosaur's Story (USA 1994)
Something
This movie was made, from my understanding, to give children a movie to watch while adults went to Jurassic Park. Or something. It's a Spielberg film and a Jurassic Park advertisement shows up pretty damn blatantly in the movie. Okay, I'm done with mentioning JP now. At its core, We're Back is a second-rate animated film that weaseled its way into theaters, as weasels are wont to do. But it's actually not that bad. The problem is, it's not that good, either. It is just goddamn forgettable. It takes place in New York, and there are dinosaurs, and there's a brief sequence where it genuinely looks like a T-rex is humping Spiderman (huh? Are your ears perked now?) Also, Professor Screweyes is the villain (gosh really) and his design came really, really close to being good, but fell at the finish. Got to admit, the screw eye and getting eaten alive by ravens bit? Pretty good, pretty good. But his stupid little paunch and spoooky theatrics make it seem like a... oh. Well, it is a children's movie, but I think Unico proved that being a kid's movie is no reason not to have a giant death skull lava monster or something. Frighten 'em good. Oh, actually, the dinosaur segments where the dinosaurs actually look like dinosaurs? Those are relatively awesome. Only the main dinosaur character is remotely tolerable, and I think that's one of the main problems with this movie. Oh, and also the little girl character? She's kind of a whore.
--
SET 2: DON BLUTH BLUTHATHON
--
The Secret of NIMH
The Secret of NIMH is based (loosely) off of the book Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH, a Newbery Award winning children's book. In fact, that book remains one of my favorites (at least, of its kind). The movie, however, does not. But it's not bad. Let me explain.
The animation quality in this film is highly impressive, so I have no complaints there (in fact, it rates higher in that department than some of the Disney films in the black-sketchy-line phase, such as Robin Hood). However, I think the color use in this film--as in many of Bluth's films--is goddamn awful. The style is bog standard, but I don't really expect much else.
At its core, the story is a bad adaptation. They take a book about self-sufficiency in the face of cultural adversity and make it a movie about magic rats. It's generally inoffensive, but it doesn't much "grip". Nicodemus, a fascinating character in the books, is reduced to Ye Old Wise Person with Long Mustache (or should that be "mousetache"? Ho ho. No, he is a rat.) They don't really touch effectively on the schism between the rats, which was due to quite reasonable considerations. All in all, it's a decent film, but it has shortcomings that keep in, in my mind, well within the "average" category.
---
An American Tale
Everyone has seen this movie, so why I'm reviewing it, much less summarizing it, I don't know. A mouse and his family come to America to avoid oppression in their native Russia (the pogroms). The mouse kid gets lost and keeps running into American things, then is reunited with his family. They overcome oppression that exists in America (in this movie, people who take advantage of others are represented as cats*) by creating a "monster" out of junk. At some point, there's the song, "Somewhere Out There", which is a great song, except right here, sung by these kids.
*Except for the cat that breaks this pattern, and other cats which might also break this pattern. Wait for me to review Fievel Goes West.
Okay. I'll admit it. This movie is really very good. Now, it's not my favorite animated feature (by a long shot), but I will confess that it's quality through and through. The animation is smooth, the color palette is much better, and the pacing is kept sensible. It also is an interesting piece for introducing kids to some of the realities of early American immigration. It can be surprisingly dark, which is good, since you can't do something about this time period without at least a little of that to smudge your rose-tinted glasses.
If you haven't seen it yet (who are you out there?) then do.
---
The Land Before Time
Okay damn guys, this is getting pretty silly. We've all seen this movie. It's Bluth's best, and I daresay trumps most of Disney's animated canon. This film is fantastic and deserves all the love it gets, if not all the sequels. I vaguely wonder what it would have been like if they'd stuck to the plan for the dinosaurs not to talk, but frankly, I think this version works so well, I wouldn't change it. There's a death scene in here that I think is almost as good as Mufasa's, and that's saying something. Bla bla, great animation (some of which gets mimicked to annoying effect in Titan A.E. but we shall return to this later.) I'd also love to see the sequences that were cut in full form, but... I'm not holding out. Watch this movie.
---
All Dogs go to Heaven
A-ha! Finally! It's so much more rewarding to talk about these. I dislike this movie, greatly, vastly, dearly, truly. The color palette makes me want to retch and I disliked the entire cast. There's the "dog who is bad dog criminal" who dies near the beginning. He goes into the afterlife, and is told that "all dogs go to heaven" (hey, that's like the title!) because they're all good and selfless intrinsically. Death is represented by a clock running down, and he realizes if he rewinds it, then he lives again. He does this, despite being told not to do so by an angelic dog of some description. Bam! He lives and meets up with his chum, Retarded Hat Dog. They get into adventures with an orphan with the unique gift of being able to talk to animals, basically teaching her to be a criminal in order to aid their efforts. They tell her that they're trying to get her money so she can be adopted (this is true. Only rich kids are lucky enough to be able to buy parents*.)
*This girl is stupid as hell.
Over time, there's the standard "girl finds out and cries" thing, the redemption scene, she finds a couple who will love her, etc. Also there is a big, homosexual alligator (since we're in New Orleans. By the way, sounds like a character like this is going to show up in Princess and the Frog. Stay tuned!) Eventually, the main dog has to choose between winding his clock (to keep him alive) and saving the girl. He saves the girl, she gets a home, he dies again, and this time, he's satisfied, having earned his place in Heaven. Or something.
Frankly, I find the narrative disjointed and badly paced. I do like how it was willing to incorporate darker elements, but I don't exactly like how they were handled. I found this film hokey and forgettable. The animation is inferior to some of his earlier works. I actually found my biggest barrier to enjoying this film was the characterization, which didn't encourage me to sympathize with anyone. It's a decent film in its own right, but I'd put it below NIMH.
---
Rock-A-Doodle
I have not seen this movie in a long time, and furthermore, I haven't been too keen to rewatch it. I recall it being overly bright (a complaint I have often; I enjoy more subdued and integrated color choices) and having an extremely traditional style. It's about a bird, and the bird is Elvis. No, shut up. He is. And he must sing to make the sun rise, only he doesn't actually have to sing to make the sun rise (it does without him), except he does (since it won't without him, uh, later in the film.) I've not been able to get a DVD of this, so again, I haven't much to say in its regard. The bird sings and gyrates. Maybe if you're into that, this is the movie for you.
It's my understanding that it was edited in some unfortunate ways for unfortunate reasons, but having not seen the movie recently, I'm not in much of a position to talk about the impacts these decisions may have made. I have to admit, though, I found the Grand Duke's design (the main antagonist) to be very uninspired, and perhaps that's one reason this one is much lower on my scale. A good antagonist (or should I say, a well-crafted antagonist?) is a major boon to any movie simplistic enough to include someone with a big "I'm Evil!" sticker on his chest.
---
Thumbelina
I see this movie for $5, like... everywhere. Anyway, it's a trippy trip ride through the small world we so often ignore, the.... Ugh, you know what, this movie isn't very good either. The most terrifying thing in this film is a bimbo frog's titties (although they are indeed quite frightening.) Thumbelina runs around being stupid and making poor choices, and then failing to answer for them. She almost marries a mole, which strikes me as pretty gross, but I get the feeling that it's supposed to. "Marry the Mole" is a fitting song, though, with a memorable tune. Also, "I Will Be Your Wings" is a surprisingly decent song considering the budget of the film (songs are often the first thing dropped, quality-wise.) Oh, also, there is a princess of corn. I thought this was important to mention. Also, a weird, rapist-y clown frog and a beetle who is an asshole. Animation has taken a nose dive here since Land Before Time, but I believe that was largely budget-related. The lady who voices Thumbelina also voiced Ariel in The Little Mermaid and it is quite obvious. This movie is weird and not particularly well-made, but it's not embarrassing. That dubious honor awaits us.
---
A Troll in Central Park
I said I wouldn't talk about this movie, but here I am, talking about this movie. Goddamn it. There was a phrase I heard once, and I don't remember where, but I will use it now. This movie sucks shit out of Hagrid's ass. (There's a mental image for you.) There's a troll... and he's in Central Park. But he's a good troll with a green thumb (lit.) who makes things grow. Also, he sings. He's been outcast to New York City by the other trolls, who are evil and have thumbs that turn things into stone. Mr. Greenthumb is the wack-ass in this family. This movie is just... bad. It's just a bad, bad thing that shouldn't be. It's sad, since Bluth obviously has talent, but this was just a mess and a half. Total flop, quality-wise and financially.
---
The Pebble and the Penguin
Ugh, penguin movies. (Okay, that's not fair--Happy Feet and Surf's Up are both great, and this was made a decade off from either) These are the penguins who give pebbles to other penguins as gifts. How cute. These are also the penguins who go on crazy adventures with puffins and get locked in tiny cages within the holds of ships. Tim Curry voices a penguin with huge pecs. Now, let's be fair on this one. Really, this film was fucked over by the higher-ups, who twiddled their dicks in the mix and really screwed this film up. Sadly, I don't like most anything of it, so I don't know how much their edits would really have changed the thing. However, I'll give it the benefit of the doubt, and say that this film is simply an unfortunate thing, unlike Troll in Central Park. This film, perhaps, had potential, but "creative differences" and suchlike doomed it to being pretty mediocre. If you like penguins with pectoral mussels, then I might recommend it to you. Otherwise, I'm afraid I can't lend the suggestion. Haven't seen this one in a while either, to be honest.
---
Anastasia
Here's a film that definitely everyone saw. Can you believe Christopher Lloyd voiced Rasputin? Crazy. This film has absolutely nothing to do with history, but actually, I (and my friends) really enjoy it. The animation is superb, the songs are quite passable, and the pacing is done well. Someone on this staff (and give him/her a medal please) corrected the issue of Bluth films' terrible coloring, because here, all the colors are rich and selected perfectly. Yep, don't know what else to say. This is a neat film with some failing, but not low-budget or bad enough to warrant much discussion. Definitely his best since Land Before Time.
---
Bartok the Magnificent
The first sequel Bluth himself ever worked on. Hah, can you believe I've seen this? Yeah, it's about the little white bat from Anastasia, and here he's the good guy. He has a magic act, defeats a bear, and impresses Ivan Romanov himself (when Romanov was a kid so whatever, kids are always impressed by bear conquest.) This makes Ivan and Lucilla (antagonist) bitch about... commoners, I suppose. Really, they should be arguing about bats, but this seems to be lost somewhere along the way. Oh, and the bear is Bartok's friend (hah! Gotcha!) He goes to save Ivan from Baba Yaga, but Baba Yaga is like, "Syke! I never took him!" because it was actually Lucilla keeping him locked up, oooh nooo. Then Lucilla turns into a dragon (I will not explain this here) and gets defeated and yyaaaaayyy Ivan is safe. Or something. Damn, if you thought Anastasia took liberties...!
This movie is really run-of-the-mill sequel stuff. Whatever.
--
SET 3: DISNEY SEQUELS
Okay, guys. Disney talk got me a-thinkin', and here's the Disney sequels set. This one's a little tougher since I haven't seen them all. But I've probably seen too many. Talk on Disney sequel-age will be a motif here.
---
Let's start with The Rescuers Down Under. Damn right, it's a Disney sequel! What, didn't you see The Rescuers? Anyway, The Rescuers Down Under is definitely the best of the Disney sequels, which is understandable, since it was designed for theaters. (Some other Disney sequels have been in theaters, but just not in the United States. More on that later.) It's an older one (1990) and one of my favorite Disney movies ever, and it deserves all the love that it basically never got. It's superbly animated, very cool, and it has a great soundtrack. It's an action-packed adventure with snakes and fun in the outback and the villain is great. Okay, I don't really need to talk about this one, I just wanted to establish it for the sake of context.
---
OKAY. Now onto the sequels that actually make this list potentially interesting.
Return of Jafar, 1994.
Return of Jafar is the movie that made Iago a good character and thus set him up as the best character in Disney's Aladdin TV show. Or at least, that's the dominant facet of it for me. If you didn't watch the TV show, fuck you, it was great. Also, this film has Abis Mal getting hold of the black lamp that holds Jafar the genie and asking for retarded wishes and basically being a douchebag. Jafar is trying to make Abis Mal wish him free and bla bla. Iago kills Jafar at the last minute and saves the day, which shows that he's a great parrot.
This film is so totally average it almost blows my mind. The animation is... all right. The story is... all right. If you're not looking for a lot, by god, that's exactly what you're going to get. I do think it's an acceptable continuation of Aladdin, and can't say much more about it. I did think Jafar represented an effective villain in this, which is good, since otherwise it would suck like a dead fish. Oh, what's that "sucking like a dead fish" thing I was saying? Yes, yes, that's right...
Soon after, it was followed by Aladdin and the King of Thieves, which does, in fact, suck. The animation plummeted, the story is worse, and hokey hokey hokey. At least Aladdin and Jasmine get married, which is good, since otherwise Jasmine is the odd one out among the Disney princesses (like that's a bad thing.) Then again, I'm not sure how much worse this one actually is than Return of Jafar. I get a little nostalgic about the former (since it led into the TV series), but not the latter, so there's some crazy brain-bias in there. Oh, yes, bear in mind I first saw these when they were new. Amazing, huh? Yeah, I loved this group of films when I was younger. Among the Disney sequels, I'd say they're worse than some and better than some.
---
Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted Christmas
Yeah, the one with Tim Curry as an organ. The animation is bad and the songs are bad, but all in all, the movie could have been worse... I suppose. To me, it ranks slightly below the Aladdin sequels, which is too bad, since Beauty and the Beast is, in fact, my favorite Disney film (followed by Lilo & Stitch). They introduced a couple new characters, but who gives a shit? Oh, also, the Beast's name is "Adam", which is a shitty name, so I don't acknowledge it. Except right there, in my last sentence. Okay, plot... it's Christmastime and the beast doesn't want to celebrate it, since apparently Christmas was the night of his transformation (whatever). Belle is like, "naw, bitch! We gonna party!" and thus goes about trying to prepare for a celebration to lift his spirits and whatnot. Meanwhile, the organ (Forte) tries to convince the Beast to not fall in love, since the organ actually likes being an organ (instead of a composer) and doesn't want to be human again. At the end, uh, the beast is like "Woah, this guy's an asshole" and the organ dies. I guess. Do we ever know what happens to things that get broken in the castle? If you're a cup and you shatter, did you die? Did you die horribly? When everyone changes back, are you a smattering of broken-up corpse? Why did Chip only lose a tooth instead of a representative fraction of his person, such as a corner of his skull? Uh, yeah. It's a film about Christmas and it doesn't work well even at that time of the year, so let's go on to the next movie.
Belle's Magical World
This one is apparently the remnants of a TV show they tried to do, which explains the horrible animation, if not excuses it. It's the Disney "film" that'll give you the most crazy-eye, I promise. Oh, what's "crazy eye"? Well, it's one of my guilty pleasures in animation (and comics, for that matter.) "Crazy eye" is when a character's eyes don't like up properly, so no matter how serious the scene, it ends up irredeemably comical. There's nothing like the Beast roaring while being all <_>. Yeah, I used an anime-style emoticon to represent that. It doesn't work well with the other type. ... Where the hell was I? Oh, right. This is a bad news bear film. Just don't watch it. It's a shoddily cut-and-pasted sequence of failed TV project. I honestly think this film is largely responsible for the early hostile reaction to Disney sequels. And if that's true, it's warranted (not that the ones before this were that damn great either, except Rescuers Down Under, but I discuss that separately.) I own this on DVD, since I got it on eBay along with the original film on DVD. I'm not sure it's even worth the space in my DVD folder. Certainly not if I'd kept the box. Eesh.
---
Pocahontas II: Journey to a New World
I haven't seen this since elementary school, so all I know is that I didn't like it then. I'll update this if I ever watch it for a second time.
---
Lion King II: Simba's Pride
... Tee-hee. Here's a confession for you. I really like this movie. I think Zira is just as cool as scar, and I like almost all the music. Ohhh, Vitani is also cool. It's Romeo and Juliet, with lions, which isn't that much worse than The Lion King being Hamlet with lions, plus substantially ripping off Kimba the White Lion. The lions are animated surprisingly well, we get some good visuals in a termite mound for the villain (not as good as Scar's goose-stepping hyenas, but alas and alack.) In this movie, Simba's daughter (why are these lions only having one cub at a time?) is a spunky little shit and she runs around and ends up finding the lions in exile, aka, those who supported Scar during his uprising (where were these lions in the original movie, you ask?) These lions tend to be more darkly colored, which means they're eeevil. Anyway, Simba's daughter, Kiara, meets Kovu (Zira's son) at the edge of the exile's territory. Zira and Simba find out and they're like sooo pissed. They part ways. Then, Zira realizes that she can someday use Kovu as a weapon if she's smart. And she is. she gets Kovu integrated into Simba's pack by making him go forth and proclaim he has no right to be in exile, as he wasn't even born at the time. And Simba is all "mmm but you look kind of evil" and so he's a jerk, but eventually everything smooths over. Kiara and Kovu fall in love, shit hits some fannage, Kovu's plot is revealed post-him-giving-it-up, angst, angst. Then, at the end, the lions in exile can come back, following a lion war and Zira failing to rally her lionesses once Simba admits that he was probably a dickface. And he was a dickface. Uh, Timon and Pumbaa are also there.
It's got a consistent style with the first movie and the production value is good. Originally, Zira was going to commit suicide at the end, which would have been AWESOME, but Disney execs censored it. Dammit. I like Zira and Vitani both, though, and Vitani gets a good ending. Ebert and Roeper both gave this movie a thumbs-up, if that means anything to you.
---
An Extremely Goofy Movie
Never saw it.
---
Little Mermaid II: Return to the Sea
What if The Little Mermaid happened backwards, AND sucked really hard? Then this is the movie you get! Oh, except her daughter has black hair. Anyway. At the end, they return to the sea! Thus proving that you shouldn't run off from your goddamn family and get married at 16, as Ariel did. What a fucktard. Not that her daughter is any better. Then again, the point of the movie is that Ariel can't raise a child worth a damn. Or maybe that isn't the point, but that's how I read it. Definitely a member of the Disney sequels of massive suckitude. The villain is Ursula's sister, who is like Ursula, except dumber and thin. And more poorly animated.
---
Lady and the Tramp II, Cinderella II, Hunchback of Notre Dame II, and 101 Dalmatians II I have not seen.
---
Lion King 1 1/2
This one's a weirdie, since it's basically a clip show shown MST3000 style, with Timon and Pumbaa including commentary. Except there are genuinely new sections, and they're well-handled when they show up. It's... odd. I don't really think it's bad, but it's not that good. It hits me as being kind of a TV-special type thing, not worthy of a release as a movie, but not bad in its own right. Basically, it traces Timon and Pumbaa's background and their involvement in other movie events. It's pretty funny, in its way, so they didn't completely scrimp on the story-writing. The new bits generally focus on Timon's past with the meerkats, including his mother. Yadda yadda. Animation is quite good in some portions, surprisingly so.
---
Mulan II
Dear fucking god this movie is a trainwreck. Basically, the chums from the first Mulan marry a bunch of twittering princesses. And all that "women are cool" stuff from the first Mulan? That shit is dead and gone, my friend. This is about chasing butterflies and talking about men. Tee-hee. Also, Mushu, who is tolerable in Mulan, is the world's most cosmic jerk in this film. Also, the ending is terrible. Ugh. See, this is the type of film I was trying to avoid during my years of turning a blind eye to Disney sequels altogether.
---
Tarzan II. Haven't seen it.
---
Lilo & Stitch II: Stitch has a Glitch
This one's actually pretty all right. It has a *~*magical*~*-ish ending, but that's a minor complaint. For the most part, they stayed true to the heart of the original film, which is a mercy. If they totally fucked up the sequels to L&S AND B&tB I'd have a goddamn apoplectic fit. Nope, this one had a budget and someone clearly cared about how it progressed, even if it doesn't recapture the glory of its predecessor. The continuity of this film is very unclear, however, since other videos were made that directly contradict it. Stitch does things, and Lilo does things, and Stitch almost dies, but he doesn't die, and we're all very happy for him. I was glad to see more of the characters, which was the main thing, although unfortunately, Gantu doesn't show up. Man, though, are those side-character aliens gay or what. See, I try not to be one of "those" girls, but... but man.
---
Kronk's New Groove. Haven't seen it! Heard it sucked, but I'll defer my judgment.
---
Bambi II
This is the best of the Disney animated sequels. It has Patrick Stewart, too, which is a contributing factor. Anyway, this is about Bambi growing up, with goddamn Patrick Stewart as the father how cool is that. This film was actually released in some theaters, but again, not in the United States. It's a shame, though, since it deserved to be. The animation is downright excellent and the story is really very good. I think it stands above members of the Disney canon, and not just the shitty ones (like The Black Cauldron blugh.) They were very faithful to the style, the animation is superb, and the voicing is convincing. Actually, I like this more than Bambi proper, and not just because the original Bambi is boring (YEAH I SAID IT.) This one focuses a lot on parenting and how single fathers are perfectly capable of rearing young. Ronno shows up as a youth. Yeah, you should see this movie. I liked it a lot, although with animated films, I'm not super difficult to impress. It's a good movie to have going on in the background when you're working.
---
Brother Bear II is another I've not seen, perhaps since I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE THE FIRST ONE EH. I missed Fox and the Hound II, too. ("missed")
---
Cinderella III: A Twist in Time
Did you know what? I rented this movie for A DOLLAR when there was nothing else I wanted to see. ... And I liked it. I really liked it. This movie is pretty awesome, especially taking its budget into account. This film retcons the original Cinderella from the scene where Anastasia is having her foot tried out with the slipper, onward. It's a good retcon, too. Cinderella is a badass when she's on screen, which isn't all the time, since the movie is actually mostly about Anastasia, her redheaded sister. Essentially, the evil godmother gets her hands on the wand from the fairy godmother, uses it to time travel, and rigs the whole deal. Ergo, Cinderella has to win with magic against her, not acting in her favor. She manages to do this by way of a little cleverness and a surprising amount of kickassedness. There's a twist on the pumpkin carriage near the end which quite impressed me. Pretty neat. Also, the prince is actually a character you can sympathize with. He has a personality! Isn't that amazing? It's got a cloying angle with the "true love" stuff, but that was the core of the first movie, so I forgive it. I like this film a lot and I like how it changed the continuity. Astonishing!
---
The Little Mermaid III: Ariels' Beginning
I like it more than #II, as if that's saying anything. Ariel runs around singing stuff and Triton's a dick, and we meet Ariel's sisters a bit more. There's a manatee in this movie who is super cute, I'll admit. The music is lame, which is funny, since the entire story is about music. Ariel and Sebastian are pretty tolerable, though, and they form the spine of the story. The animation definitely took a step up, though. This and Cinderella III both look exceptionally good, and certainly better than some feature-length animated films which have graced theaters.
---
Return to Neverland
Here's another oddity, in that this movie is quite tolerable. The beginning seems a little Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe ripoffy, but oh well. Wendy's daughter is a hardass who runs around WWII England being cool. She is going to be sent off to the countryside, however. Anyway, she runs into Peter Pan and ends up going to Neverland. She almost kills Tinkerbell (if only!) and runs into Hook, who presents her with an offer to return home, which is her greatest desire. See, she's not looking for escapism, it kind of found her. There's too much "yyaaaayyy faith" crap in this film, but it's Disney and that shit's to be expected. Oh! But let's talk about the interesting part--the new beast!
The crocodile is over with, and doesn't appear in this film. What does? Why, an octopus that rapes. Okay, we don't know he rapes, but if you don't think "hentai" within thirty seconds of seeing this octopus, you are a sheltered fool. He spends basically his entire onscreen time ripping the clothes off of Captain Hook. I need to grab some screenshots of this, come to think of it.
---
SET 4: Balto and Dreamworks
Balto
Balto is a movie about the dog, sort of. I mean, not really. The dog, Balto, is famous for helping get supplies to Nome to prevent people from dying, but that's about the whole of it. He was a really damn good lead dog. Ta-daa. In the film, he's a half-wolf half-sled dog outcast who is friends with a goose and two small polar bears. He wants to help get supplies back to Nome to save a little girl who is coincidentally the owner of a really hot lady dog whom he fancies. However, a different dog, Steele, is the legit leader of the team, hates Balto, and wants that pretty dog to be his. So there's the antagonist/protagonist thing for you. Eventually, Balto (with the aid of the spirit of the wolves, sort of. It's a hallucination) overcomes adversity, gets the diphtheria medicine to Nome, gets accepted by everyone, and gets the girl. It's a very standard kind of movie, plus dogs. I dislike that they used a historical figure for the movie (and the explanation for the northern lights is offensively stupid), but all in all it was made with care and it's a good children's movie. The characters are handled relatively well, and the adventure has its ups and downs, the animation is quite good, etc. I rather wish I'd seen this in theaters, actually. It spawned some horrific sequels, which I've yet to see in any greater detail than snippets. The animation in those sequels is painful, so I've never had much of a reason to waste the hours on them.
---
Now some Dreamworks!
---
The Prince of Egypt
This movie was handled very well, but I don't like it. Heck, I don't even like it as much as King of Dreams. I found the religious aspect way too overpowering in this film, and it felt like blatant pandering to the Christian demographic. Now, I must admit, that might have been a good business move for them. Disney movies are usually popular (or were) with that crowd, and this was a good way to urge them in Dreamworks' direction instead for animated entertainment. It has some well-handled dark parts, gets pretty intense, lots of conflict, all that good stuff. Its budget was fairly meager compared to Disney's films, but it made a lot of money and remains, apparently, a staple among Christian movie collections now. The animation here is exceptional, but I strongly disagree with those who say it bests Disney's, or at least, Disney's contemporary works. Treasure Planet and Lilo & Stitch are probably the best animated films ever made, from a technical standpoint, and I stand by that until something new emerges. This movie relied on a lot of simple shots and angles, which is easier, and does the job, but doesn't compare from the animation angle. I mean, not that it needed those things, but you get my point. Anyway, it's Old Testament, and God's a shithead, but at least you can sort of see where Moses and the Pharoh are both coming from. Solid movie despite its historical inaccuracies, etc.
---
The Road to El Dorado
This movie had exceptional production and looks great. Also, they did a respectful job making the natives look native, without whitening them up or making the presentation appear caricatured in a racist manner. The plot was scripted carefully and the visuals are highly impressive. It's a fun movie with a spirited, upbeat nature. The main female character is intelligent, fun, and drawn in a more realistic manner than the Disney-type princesses. Shockingly, it's very good all around. Perhaps just as shockingly, I don't enjoy it that much. I won't dispute that it's an excellent picture, but some part of it was very difficult for me to identify with. Anyway, it's about two Spanish guys sneaking aboard Cortez' ship to seek out gold in the New World. They get there and, with a map, do indeed find El Dorado. They're treated as gods due to them fitting the native prophesy. There is an adorable armadillo. They come to like the native people and have reservations about exploiting them. They are helped by a thief girl who is fun and has massive hips. They find themselves in a power struggle between the high priest and the chieftain. This movie has a lot of conflicts in it, which was something I highly appreciate. There are conflicts between the two men, conflicts between them and the native culture, conflicts within the native culture, conflicts involving Cortez (who is aptly displayed as an asshat), and conflict between them and a giant stone jaguar. Yes, it's handled quite well, I think. Good movie. You can pick it up for $5 or less now, as with most (if not all) of Dreamworks' animated canon. Fully recommended.
---
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
Damn does this movie ever have some good horse animation. The backgrounds took a beating, budget-wise, but I think that's pretty much Dreamworks' modus operandi (it does save a lot of money, since backgrounds take so much artist time). The story is not very gripping, but it's fun and quite watchable. It's about a mustang in the west, and his view on a lot of the changes that came with the west becoming more "civilized". He gets captured by the US army, who try to break him. He encounters a Native American who is captured, who helps him escape. The Native guy is a nice person, naturally. He takes Spirit (as that's the horse's name) back to his camp and tries to tame him in a kinder way than the army asshats. Spirit, of course, was captured because he got all gaga for the Lakota guy's lady horse. The Lakota guy eventually lets Spirit free, realizing that he doesn't want to be a part of the village's operation. Eventually, Spirit fucks up a train. And then he rocks out. Near the end, he does encounter the main antagonist, the Colonel from the Army camp, again, but the Colonel lets him go out of respect, since to be fair, Spirit is a pretty badass horse. You've definitely got to suspend your disbelief for this film, and again, I'll note that I wish animated films steered clearer of historical events. However, I do like that the horses don't talk. It's narrated by Spirit, but he can't speak, and neither can Rain (the mare). There's a lot of visual communication, and the animation remains highly impressive. It's a solid style, if not super distinct. The story gets a B- from me, but the animation gets an A-, if we don't include the backgrounds. Another nice thing is that this film has almost no cutesy things. There are no sidekicks or that sort of thing. It's a very straightforward presentation. Recommended. Oh, and James Baxter worked on this! I can't forget that. He's the guy who animated Quasimodo, and he is really damn good. People are all like, "Oh, Glen Keane, you're so amazing, whuh whuh whuh" and I'm like, yeah, fair enough, but Baxter deserves love too. Baxter also animated Belle in Beauty and the Beast, as well as Moses in King of Egypt. Ah, yes, and he directed the opening to Kung Fu Panda, since his studio did the 2D stuff.
---
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
As long as you bear in mind that this movie has almost no relation to Sinbad, then... enjoy! This is definitely one of Dreamworks' weakest, maybe the weakest of all, but I enjoyed it. It is for older audiences than most animated features. There was a lot of 3D used, which isn't my favorite, but it's acceptable here. They used 3D models for some long shots where it wasn't obvious that the characters weren't traditionally animated. This should anger me, most people think, but it doesn't. If you need to be paying close attention to even notice, then who cares? Animation is about telling a story in a versatile medium. If there are times when an animator's illustration isn't required and you can save money, a substitute figure is okay. Disney also did this for crowd sequences in Hunchback of Notre Dame and almost nobody even noticed. However, the backgrounds definitely could have used less of it, since sometimes it's very noticeable that the backgrounds were done in 3D, and it doesn't look good. Furthermore, the Roc definitely should have been traditionally animated. It looks disjointed in the feature proper. However, Eris, the goddess of discord (uh, she's a Greek goddess, whaaaat) is animated superbly. Couldn't ask for better. Her effects are fantastic. Yeah, did I mention that despite being Sinbad, almost everything is Greek? I have no idea why they did this. Anyway, kind of weak, but fun and watchable. I blame a lot of its failure on Jeffery Katzenberg. This was a film, like The Iron Giant, that I think execs wanted to fail. It was a time to be bailing on animation, and they needed a reason, so they made one. It's a real shame.
---
Joseph: King of Dreams
I'm... not sure why this was a direct-to-video release, honestly, since it's got the style and substance to have been theater-bound. I liked it more than Prince of Egypt, too. The songs are of limited quality, but that's not majorly important. It's animated splendidly, looks beautiful, and presents a lot of sides to the issues at hand. It, like Road to El Dorado (but decidedly unlike Sinbad) has many conflicts working at different levels throughout the feature. The Egyptians aren't antagonists, which is nice. It's more about successful integration, kindness, and forgiveness than anything. Which is weird, because you'd think for that kind of thing, you wouldn't use an Old Testament adaptation. He has his "coat of many colors", despite this being a mistranslation. You can understand why his brothers wanted to be rid of him. Oh, though wolves are portrayed negatively, of course. And this makes me sad, since wolves are rad.
----
Still need to review some more, such as:
Annabelle's Wish (Part 1)
Cats Don't Dance
Pippi Longstocking (the Nelvana one)
Osmosis Jones
Unico
Unico and the Island of Magic
. I remember hearing about this while looking for the movie feature version of "The Animals of Farthing wood".
.