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What if one of these people ruled the world?

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:28pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
If any of these people were given control of the world, what do you think would happen, and what would you do?

1. Micheal Jackson
2. Ozzy Osbourne
3. Dave McNamara (The Anti-Porn Guy, remember him?)
4. John Ashcroft
5. The executives at FOX
6. Britney Spears
7. Monkeys
8. Berman and Braga
9. DarkStar
10. The RIAA
11. PETA[/quote]

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:31pm
by blkmage
Life as we know it will be incredibly fucked.

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:31pm
by Montcalm
I would have an urge to kill him or her :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:33pm
by Joe
1) The aliens who have been watching us secretly, calling this, the "last straw," unleash their wrath upon us.

4) *oozes blood out of bullet hole in head*

5) The world is one big reality TV show.

7) We already do rule the world. You don't know what does on in the Brotherhood forum, mwahaha....

8 ) Commie, PC hell. History is rewritten.

10) Copyright extension - 2,000 years.

11) Humanity dies within a few decades.

Re: What if one of these people ruled the world?

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:43pm
by Dalton
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:If any of these people were given control of the world, what do you think would happen, and what would you do?
1. Micheal Jackson

Would probably end any form of apartheid, outlaw racism, fund research for rebuilding/cloning human body parts. I probably wouldn't do anything.

2. Ozzy Osbourne

Curse ;) Remove "parental advisory" censorship garbage. I'd rock out daily.

3. Dave McNamara (The Anti-Porn Guy, remember him?)

Circumvent our rights, enforce his beliefs on other people, outlaw the constitution. I'd organize a rebel insurgency group.

4. John Ashcroft

Ever read 1984?

5. The executives at FOX

Average intelligence of the world plummets 99%. Us few intellectuals who are left are hunted down and forced into a reality show called "When Nerds Attack".

6. Britney Spears

Average number of boy/girl bands skyrockets. Good ol' rock drowned out by banal crap. The world's intelligence drops dramatically. I kill myself so I don't have to listen to it.

7. Monkeys

World War III is fought with rocks and feces. I eat bananas.

8. Berman and Braga

The space program suffers devastating setbacks as NASA attempts to build a quantum temporal crystalline inverter. I organize a rebel insurgency group and destroy B&B.

9. DarkStar

The world plunges into a dark age of paranoia and stupidity. I join up with rogue bands of SDnetters in an LOTResque quest to destroy him.

10. The RIAA

Americans pay fifty dollars a day for the priviledge of listening to music on the radio. Anyone who is caught not paying for the right to hear music is shot. I bomb RIAA headquarters.

11. PETA

Ninety percent of the human population dies from lack of vital nutrients. All carnivorous animals become extinct. Population explosion of herbivores causes world food shortage, and all life on the planet is wiped out, including me.

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:44pm
by darthdavid
3)I'd die of boredom
6)My brain would explode from the awful music

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:48pm
by Joe
8. Berman and Braga

The space program suffers devastating setbacks as NASA attempts to build a quantum temporal crystalline inverter. I organize a rebel insurgency group and destroy B&B.
Hmm, in a world ruled by B&B you'd surely have to call your group an "unorthodox stealth insurrectionist movement" or some other fancy-shmancy description.

Re: What if one of these people ruled the world?

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:51pm
by RedImperator
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:If any of these people were given control of the world, what do you think would happen, and what would you do?

2. Ozzy Osbourne
Free drugs for everybody. I'd take some.

Posted: 2003-02-25 09:58pm
by theski
If FOX ruled the world, "The Running Man" would be the highest rated tv show!!

Posted: 2003-02-25 10:06pm
by Sea Skimmer
What would happen would probably involve the persons plane, a wing of fighters and the words "Fox one" being repeated.

Re: What if one of these people ruled the world?

Posted: 2003-02-26 10:08am
by Peregrin Toker
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote: 11. PETA
If the PETA ruled the world, it would be a lot like the Ecotopia government type from Call To Power II.

(If you've never played CTP2, I'll explain anyway: The Ecotopians are the sort of people who would blow up an entire city if it's too polluting)

Posted: 2003-02-26 10:11am
by phongn
Sea Skimmer wrote:What would happen would probably involve the persons plane, a wing of fighters and the words "Fox one" being repeated.
I see that you enjoy strafing targets.

Posted: 2003-02-26 10:34am
by The Great Unbearded One
Can we just have a trail run...I think it would be one fun month!

The World leader.

Posted: 2003-02-26 11:51am
by The Janitor
(1) He is hardly going to do anything bad, world will boogie, be peaceful, kindness will be rewarded. However not everyone will enjoy the world peace & so eventually he’ll be assassinated by maniacs (political religious it doesn’t matter) who’ll unfortunately then fill the vacuum of power.

(2) What the ‘bleep’ are you ‘bleeping’ on about I’m the leader of the ‘bleeping’ world! When for ‘bleeps’ sake did this ‘bleeping’ happen…stares kind of dumbly in disbelief at the messenger…’bleeping’ hell will someone turn the ‘bleeping’ bleeper machine of its doing my ‘bleeping’ nut in!
Long term the world will rock but once again not everyone will be happy by this & maniacs will take over.

(3) Anti-porn guy! Never heard of him & so he’ll not meet my approval but on the off chance that my Veto is ignored I suspect his reign will start out relatively peaceful. Sure people will be pissed off with porn being banned but the black market & the Internet can never be truly destroyed. However not everyone will be happy with the situation & people will try to kill the Anti-Porn guy he’ll go mad/paranoid & ban some stupid things (wearing deodorant, eating rice on Tuesdays, singing football anthems it really doesn’t matter what). This will piss of even more people who will also try to kill him, when eventually he is killed maniacs will fill the power vacuum.

(4) Ashcroft, once again he hasn’t been heard of by me & so I’ll use my Veto
(I forgot to mention in the alternate universe in which these people are allowed to rule the world I have been given an ultimate Veto by the united nations of Earth as I’m the only one everyone trusts however I turned down the offered position of World leader for some mysterious reason).

(5) FOX or their British cousins SKY would definitely get my Veto however if I mysteriously died whilst on holiday in New Zealand then the beginning of the ‘dark age’ would occur. People would be forced to watch inane television programs that insult the intelligence of all who watch them. They would be forced to get pointless jobs often in ‘advertising’ or ‘marketing’ that insult the intelligence of everyone who has to endure the products of such work. The economy of the world will become entwined with the TV networks & only limited forms of freedom & expression would be allowed (anything that would be good for ratings). I don’t think anyone will assassinate the leaders of FOX.

(6) Britney will do whatever her manager tells her to do so I would have to run background checks on him. Providing he is a cool fellow (i.e. like me) though I suspect she will be quite nice however nobody like ‘nice’ she’ll be assassinated & maniacs will take over shortly after.

(7) It depends if you mean monkeys as in monkeys or monkeys as in ‘followers of the great Funky Monkey Religion’.
If the former is allowed to happen (I wouldn’t use my Veto as it’d be piss funny) then I suspect you’d end up with a centralized & massively bureaucratic system of government in which everyone endlessly asks for the monkeys to ‘decide on this’ or ‘make this happen’. The monkeys will be continuously pestered by the demands of such lame-asses & eventually will give in unwittingly increasing the size of the government. If this continued long enough you’d eventually get to a point in which lame-asses ask the monkeys ‘to ban this opinion’ or ‘help these lame-asses’ or ‘we must reduce breathing’. This situation will be made worse by the monkeys being easily bribed by anyone with enough bananas.
If you mean the latter then it’ll be pretty similar to Michael Jackson’s rule except all penguins will be hunted down & ruthlessly slaughtered.

(8 Over my dead bo... After my unfortunate death by ‘Thalaron radiation’ the ‘new age of enlightenment’ begins. Economies are destroyed, all media is shut down, people are initially told to work for the benefit of all however nobody actually does much so instead they are given jobs & told to do them for the benefit of all. The space program stagnates when the ‘mega-quick magnetron super deluxe FTL system’ doesn’t work, variety of opinions is outlawed & people are made to meet strict tests if they fail they are declared outside of the human race. All crime is punished ruthlessly by the police state making it virtually non-existent. All invasive medical techniques are banned instead doctors are forced to use flashing lights & episodes of ST. Suicide rates quadruple however everyone is told that there is no suicide & that everything is ‘fine & dandy’. B&B survive all assassination attempts & ruthlessly crush all rebellions (initially they wanted to use radiation weapons however they quickly turn towards genetic viruses).

(9) I think he is some arse-hole that used to appear on this board. My Veto would almost certainly be used after reading a small section of the ‘death star is a genesis weapon post’.

(10) The RIAA? Who knows or cares? Veto.

(11) PETA! I wouldn’t use my Veto. Why? Are you insane you ask? Well lets see they ban the consumption of virtually everyone’s favorite meal. They then ban the use of animal products ranging from milk to leather to fruit gums (gelatin). Next they ban the destruction of wildlife habitats for the creation of new farms. They ban all medical research because it is ‘useless’ they are pleased by the reception when they tell everyone a child’s life is no different to that of a rat. They then ‘solve’ the Israeli-Palestine conflict by banning the use of suicide donkeys. They have at this point been ruling the world for around half an hour. They then proceed to spew out more & more insane laws & rules all hypocritical & all impossible to implement (they ban oral sex because if you swallow an animal product then you are using an animal). Everyone will become more & more incensed at what they are hearing eventually after several hours of this madness a huge mob appears & ‘butchers’ PETA. For a limited period only PETA burgers are seen on the street (however they are limp & tasteless & people return to good old beefburgers). The whole episode would be so funny that I’d have no regrets even when I am stripped of my Veto for not using it.

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:04pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
Also, If you haven't heard of the Anti-Porn guy, visit http://www.spies.com/~gus/ran/0012/antiporn/.

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:09pm
by Dalton
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Also, If you haven't heard of the Anti-Porn guy, visit http://www.spies.com/~gus/ran/0012/antiporn/.
This kid's been amazingly, thoroughly brainwashed.

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:14pm
by Coaan
:shock:

That's one messed up fundie moron.

not racist?...hah..yeah right...

:)

The Resident vampire bard would be upset about his idea on vampirism too...it would be punishable by death....

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:16pm
by The Yosemite Bear
I wouldn't mind option #2....

Just think of how many people that would freak out.

This is as good as if George Carlin was elected pope....

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:17pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
Dalton wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Also, If you haven't heard of the Anti-Porn guy, visit http://www.spies.com/~gus/ran/0012/antiporn/.
This kid's been amazingly, thoroughly brainwashed.
Or maybe he's just a prude that has no chance at getting laid, so he wants to make sure he's not missing anything by making 99% of all sex acts punishable by jail time.

Still, judging by how he wants a prudish "National Dress Code" estrablished, to bring back prohibition (Hasn't he ever heard about that time in American history between 1917 and 1933?), make prisons far more inhumane (He wants to allow escaping convicts to be shot on sight, which is pretty harsh, considering there's a good chance he'll be in there for getting a tattoo, having sex, or drinking), and start a group that will be allowed to violate your 4th amendment rights and search your house without reason.

Him!

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:18pm
by The Janitor
Oh i've read this site months ago!
I was doing research on facist idiots using the net, I didn't know the prick was 'famous' though.

He'd almost certainly get my Veto.

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:20pm
by Nathan F
phongn wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote:What would happen would probably involve the persons plane, a wing of fighters and the words "Fox one" being repeated.
I see that you enjoy strafing targets.
*missiling targets;)

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:26pm
by Nathan F
Dalton wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Also, If you haven't heard of the Anti-Porn guy, visit http://www.spies.com/~gus/ran/0012/antiporn/.
This kid's been amazingly, thoroughly brainwashed.
I don't think he would qualify even as FUNDIE, that would be an insult to THEM!

I mean, dang...

I just read that, and I find him to be completely and totally, uhm, stupid.

I seriously could not help thinking 'Nazi Germany' as I read that...

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:32pm
by Coaan
NF_Utvol wrote:
Dalton wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:Also, If you haven't heard of the Anti-Porn guy, visit http://www.spies.com/~gus/ran/0012/antiporn/.
This kid's been amazingly, thoroughly brainwashed.
I don't think he would qualify even as FUNDIE, that would be an insult to THEM!

I mean, dang...

I just read that, and I find him to be completely and totally, uhm, stupid.
About the same level really.

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:35pm
by Keevan_Colton
What in the FUCK???

I just looked at the anti-porn guy site.....

Posted: 2003-02-26 06:38pm
by Sea Skimmer
phongn wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote:What would happen would probably involve the persons plane, a wing of fighters and the words "Fox one" being repeated.
I see that you enjoy strafing targets.
Fox three is gun, Fox one is radar missile, Fox two infared and Fox four is somtimes used for kills by manuver or collisions.