Weirdest Movie You've Ever Seen?
Posted: 2009-11-01 11:07am
Similar in vein to the Worst Movie thread, but this one will be more awesome in that it will be detailing even worse movies that transcend badness and go into straight sheer incomprehensibility and utter madness!
I'll start off with goddamn Alejandro Jodorowsky's El Topo - a surrealist Western with a record number of carnival freaks and deformed and disfigured people in its cast and crew. It involves the pseudo-spiritual journey of a black-clad gunman as he kills, amongst other things, a pistolier who looks like an emaciated androgynous man but with a female voice and a bunch of crazy cowboys humping iguanas and a deformagrotesquetified symbiont and a rabbit farmer, and he is in turn betrayed by the whore he rescued and her lesbian lover who is a black-haired bitch with a man's voice.
He is shot repeatedly, but instead of dying is rescued by a bunch of midgets and carnival freaks and deformed amputees and other forms of shitpieces who live under a mountain underground, and through this act of tenderness from social outcasts and dejects, he is transformed. He falls in love with a midget and as he shaves off his hair and gains the appearance of a Buddhist monk, he swears to improve the lives of his newfound people.
He and his midget woman go out of the underground and go to a nearby town to earn a living, but the town is full of deranged psycho cultists and utter fuckopathic fuckpieces. To earn money, our protagonist is forced to fuck his midget lady friend and he ends up impregnating her.
Meanwhile, there is this missionary who is revealed to be El Topo's other previous son who has grown up to be not just a missionary, but a badass black-clad gunman like the protagonist once was. The son promises to kill his father for abandoning him. But the father convinces his son to do so only after his great work is complete.
When he, the protagonist, and his midget wife get enough money they buy dynamite and digging tools and begin digging a tunnel in the mountain to free his people - and the son, moved by his father's plight, joins in. The three of them, father, midget wife and missionary gunslinger son, bond like a family during this time.
Finally, they finish the tunnel and the deformed circus freak ugly people living underground are free and in joy they emerge from their prison and run outside. But they end up in the town and the town's fuckopathic fuckpiece residents brutally slaughter them en masse. At this sight, of seeing his entire people murdered in cold blood, the protagonist goes mad and takes a gun and he in turn slaughters the entire town in a violent orgy of sheer unadulterated killfuck. He was once a violent man, and tried a new path of peace, but now he's back to killing the ever loving fuck out of a shitload of people and in realization of this - and of how all was in vain and how his people are now all dead - he douses himself in oil and immolates himself like those Buddhist monks. He burns and dies.
His pregnant midget wife, upon seeing all this, ends up giving birth and the newborn child, the midget mother, and the grown-up missionary gunslingger son (who now dons attire similar to the protagonist when he was a black-clad gunman) end up riding off on one horse into the sunset.
I'll start off with goddamn Alejandro Jodorowsky's El Topo - a surrealist Western with a record number of carnival freaks and deformed and disfigured people in its cast and crew. It involves the pseudo-spiritual journey of a black-clad gunman as he kills, amongst other things, a pistolier who looks like an emaciated androgynous man but with a female voice and a bunch of crazy cowboys humping iguanas and a deformagrotesquetified symbiont and a rabbit farmer, and he is in turn betrayed by the whore he rescued and her lesbian lover who is a black-haired bitch with a man's voice.
He is shot repeatedly, but instead of dying is rescued by a bunch of midgets and carnival freaks and deformed amputees and other forms of shitpieces who live under a mountain underground, and through this act of tenderness from social outcasts and dejects, he is transformed. He falls in love with a midget and as he shaves off his hair and gains the appearance of a Buddhist monk, he swears to improve the lives of his newfound people.
He and his midget woman go out of the underground and go to a nearby town to earn a living, but the town is full of deranged psycho cultists and utter fuckopathic fuckpieces. To earn money, our protagonist is forced to fuck his midget lady friend and he ends up impregnating her.
Meanwhile, there is this missionary who is revealed to be El Topo's other previous son who has grown up to be not just a missionary, but a badass black-clad gunman like the protagonist once was. The son promises to kill his father for abandoning him. But the father convinces his son to do so only after his great work is complete.
When he, the protagonist, and his midget wife get enough money they buy dynamite and digging tools and begin digging a tunnel in the mountain to free his people - and the son, moved by his father's plight, joins in. The three of them, father, midget wife and missionary gunslinger son, bond like a family during this time.
Finally, they finish the tunnel and the deformed circus freak ugly people living underground are free and in joy they emerge from their prison and run outside. But they end up in the town and the town's fuckopathic fuckpiece residents brutally slaughter them en masse. At this sight, of seeing his entire people murdered in cold blood, the protagonist goes mad and takes a gun and he in turn slaughters the entire town in a violent orgy of sheer unadulterated killfuck. He was once a violent man, and tried a new path of peace, but now he's back to killing the ever loving fuck out of a shitload of people and in realization of this - and of how all was in vain and how his people are now all dead - he douses himself in oil and immolates himself like those Buddhist monks. He burns and dies.
His pregnant midget wife, upon seeing all this, ends up giving birth and the newborn child, the midget mother, and the grown-up missionary gunslingger son (who now dons attire similar to the protagonist when he was a black-clad gunman) end up riding off on one horse into the sunset.