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Here's an old joke I remember from several years ago, I'll translate it from swedish:

A missionarie arrived in a village in Africa, there he met the chief's daughter, that night they had sex, she kept screaming "Hola mandola, hola mandola!"

The next day the missionarie was playing golf with the chief and he struck a hole-in-one, he started cheering "Hola mandola!".
The chief looked at him funnily and asked "What do you mean by 'wrong hole?'"

OK, very cheesy

ROTFLOL!

In the English version, it's a businessman in Japan.....

LOL!

Very good!

A few more missionary jokes:

3 missionaries are captured by a tribe, they are all tied up and presented to the chief. The chief says: "I will let you go if you can go into the forest and find 10 pieces of the same fruit." The missionaries think - shit, that shouldn't be too bad and all head their seperate ways to find the fruit.

The first one comes back with 10 apples and the chief says: "Now you must shove them all up your arse without making any noise or facial expressions and you shall go free." The man gets to 4 apples and then cries out. The tribe quickly kill him.

The second one comes back with 10 small berries. The chief gives his spiele again and the missionary begins shoving them up his arse. He gets to 9 then breaks out laughing and is killed by the tribe.

In heaven the first missionary says to the second, "What happened, you were set, only 1 more berry and you would have lived?"

"I couldn't help it, I saw the other guy walking back with an armful of pineapples."


----


2 missionaries are captured by a tribe. They are told "You have two choices - death or ooga-booga." The first missionary says: "Death sounds pretty shit, I'll take ooga-booga." The chief raises his spear in the air and screams: "OOOOGAAAA-BOOOOOGAAAAA!" The man is set upon and raped by every man and woman in the village in a process lasting several hours. The chief then turns to the second missionary and asks: "Death or ooga-booga?" The missionary says: "I'll take death thanks..." The chief raises his spear in the air and screams: "DEATH BY OOGA-BOOGA!"

WAHAHAAHAAA!!!


These are all funny


But regarding the first joke: which one's the wrong hole?

Here`s a short one: A man goes to the dentist he get in the chair but when the dentist aproaches he grabs him by the balls and tell him don`t hurt me and i won`t hurt you.

A Tourist is visiting the grand canyon where he sees this one guy jumping up and down screaming 20!, 20!, 20!

The tourist asks him what he's doing, he says Relieving stress.

So the tourist starts jumping up and down, screaming 20!, 20!, 20!

And just as he's totally lost in the rythum of it, the guy pushes him over the edge, and proceeds to start jumping up and down screaming 21!, 21!, 21!

Two nuns sitting in the bath. One says: "Where's the soap?" The other one says: "Yes it does, doesn't it."

weemadando wrote:A few more missionary jokes:

3 missionaries are captured by a tribe, they are all tied up and presented to the chief. The chief says: "I will let you go if you can go into the forest and find 10 pieces of the same fruit." The missionaries think - shit, that shouldn't be too bad and all head their seperate ways to find the fruit.

The first one comes back with 10 apples and the chief says: "Now you must shove them all up your arse without making any noise or facial expressions and you shall go free." The man gets to 4 apples and then cries out. The tribe quickly kill him.

The second one comes back with 10 small berries. The chief gives his spiele again and the missionary begins shoving them up his arse. He gets to 9 then breaks out laughing and is killed by the tribe.

In heaven the first missionary says to the second, "What happened, you were set, only 1 more berry and you would have lived?"

"I couldn't help it, I saw the other guy walking back with an armful of pineapples."

Here's the Russian version of that same joke:
Long time ago, a King captured a German, a Russian, and a Chukcha (a resident of Chukotka. They are the main characters of many Russian jokes). He orders them to bring their favorite flower, or die. The German guy picks a daffodil. The king orders him to sit on it. He sits down, nothing happens, and he is set free. Next, it's the Russian guy's turn. He picks a rose. When he sits on the rose, he starts laughing and crying at the same time. He is asked: "Why are you crying?". "It hurts", he answers. "Then why are you laughing?", they ask. "The Chukcha is bringing a cactus."

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

weemadando wrote:Two nuns sitting in the bath. One says: "Where's the soap?" The other one says: "Yes it does, doesn't it."

I don't get this one.

weemadando wrote:Two nuns sitting in the bath. One says: "Where's the soap?" The other one says: "Yes it does, doesn't it."

I don't get it.

Shinova wrote:

weemadando wrote:Two nuns sitting in the bath. One says: "Where's the soap?" The other one says: "Yes it does, doesn't it."

I don't get this one.

Neither did I.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

TO get that joke you should read it out loud. Some people get it straight away, some get it minutes, hours or even days later.

fgalkin wrote:

Shinova wrote:

weemadando wrote:Two nuns sitting in the bath. One says: "Where's the soap?" The other one says: "Yes it does, doesn't it."

I don't get this one.

Neither did I.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

I get it but i don`t find it funny.

Montcalm wrote:

fgalkin wrote:

Shinova wrote: I don't get this one.

Neither did I.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

I get it but i don`t find it funny

Please explain it then.

As I understand it, the second nun interpreted the first's question as the statement "wears the soap", as in "wears it out". Masturbation reference, supposedly.

XaLEv wrote:As I understand it, the second nun interpreted the first's question as the statement "wears the soap", as in "wears it out". Masturbation reference, supposedly.

Aah. I get it now.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

XaLEv wrote:As I understand it, the second nun interpreted the first's question as the statement "wears the soap", as in "wears it out". Masturbation reference, supposedly.

Thanks

LOL! I got it, then rushed back here to post that I got it, but then I saw that someone had already explained it.

So a zen master goes up to a hotdog stand and says "Make me one with everything"

Shinova wrote:WAHAHAAHAAA!!!


These are all funny


But regarding the first joke: which one's the wrong hole?

I'm guessing the ass, but that's not the point. It wasn't the holw she wanted it to be, that's the point.

Anyway, these jokes are quite funny.

HemlockGrey wrote:LOL! I got it, then rushed back here to post that I got it, but then I saw that someone had already explained it.

So a zen master goes up to a hotdog stand and says "Make me one with everything"

So, then he gives the hot dog vendor a $20, and the hot dog vendor takes the $20 and goes to server the next customer.

When the zen master demands his money, the vendor tells him, "Ah, but change comes from within".