Gustave: The Beast. The Legend. The Nightmare.

[Night_stalker]

I was wondering, how does one capture Gustave?

For those who have no idea who I am talking about, Gustave is a massive croc that can be found (at your own risk however) in Burundi, Africa. Currently he has killed 300 people plus numerous animals including hippos, measures about 20 feet (6.1 meters) long, is 60ish years old, and weighs about 1 ton. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustave_(crocodile)

A baited cage has been tried, but to no avail. Any suggestions for either killing, or capturing this massive beast?

[Ritterin Sophia]

Don't? The three-hundred kill tally is total bullshit, there's no way this one crocodile is responsible for that many deaths, he personally would have had to kill five people every year of his life to attain it.

It's the largest Nile Croc (reportedly) leave him the fuck alone and let him do his thing as the apex predator of that river system.

[Sarevok]

If this croc is real he needs to be checked for what kind of exploits he is using to achieve such a high kill count.

Seriously though there has never been a single identified animal that has killed 300 people. Maneating tigers for example only manage to kill a few dozen at most before disappearing or being put down.

[Ilya Muromets]

Y'know, it's telling the way you worded this as "currently he has killed" even though the very wiki page you linked to specifically says that he is "rumored" to have killed that number. It even ends with this (bolding mine):

As of January 2009, Gustave still lives within the Ruzizi River area and is occasionally spotted by people, although no human fatalities have been officially attributed to him since his sudden notoriety.

Yet you speak as if it's all confirmed. Do you always buy bullshit about "evil man-eaters" this quickly?

[Mayabird]

Why are people all of a sudden treating Cracked.com articles as if they are legitimate fact? This brings it to three I've seen recently and I think I remember a fourth. It's hyperbole and fan-service with a veneer of factuality and they're supposed to be enjoyed that way, just like Badass of the Week.

And why did you capitalize "the" and not the important words? That's the complete opposite of the way it's supposed to go.

[Night_stalker]

Y'know, it's telling the way you worded this as "currently he has killed" even though the very wiki page you linked to specifically says that he is "rumored" to have killed that number. It even ends with this (bolding mine):

As of January 2009, Gustave still lives within the Ruzizi River area and is occasionally spotted by people, although no human fatalities have been officially attributed to him since his sudden notoriety.

Yet you speak as if it's all confirmed. Do you always buy bullshit about "evil man-eaters" this quickly?

I never said he was continuing to kill people, BUT still I find the number to be way too high to be plausible. Either the numbers are highballed, or they just attribute every missing person to Gustave. Seeing how he seems to live in a rural area, where there isn't a lot of people, 300 kills does seem way too freakin' high to make sense.

[Stuart]

Obvious question. Is there only one "Gustave"? Or is there a group of larger-than-average crocs in the river who go under the same collective name?

[Pelranius]

Frankly, this sounds like what I've personally termed the Colonel Toon/Juba syndrome.

With all due respect to Messrs Cunningham, Driscoll and the brave men in Iraq, I think legends about near mythic foes like Toon and Juba are most likely garbled third hand accounts and the human desire to make our opponents more spectacular than they actually are (doesn't necessarily have to do with self promotion, people like a legend and nothing screams legend quite like "supervillian").

[Lord of the Abyss]

Seriously though there has never been a single identified animal that has killed 300 people. Maneating tigers for example only manage to kill a few dozen at most before disappearing or being put down.

The "Champawat Tiger" supposedly killed at least 436 people. This was an animal that apparently had the habit of going into villages and killing multiple people, which is how it racked up such large numbers.

[Alyrium Denryle]

Obvious question. Is there only one "Gustave"? Or is there a group of larger-than-average crocs in the river who go under the same collective name?

He actually does exist. Has a territory and everything. Crocs eat a lot of preople in africa. Mostly women and fisherman. They may not necessarily be the ones that kill them, but 300 people being eaten by crocodiles in the last 60 years is not unreasonable. What is unreasonable is that it was one individual. A croc that size can eat one person and not need to eat again for a year.

In any case, he needs to be left the fuck alone

[Surlethe]

Science? Bzzt.
Logic? Bzzt.
Morality? Bzzt.
Implausible how-to question regarding an implausible story? Ding ding ding!

Moving to OT.

[Admiral Valdemar]

Well, I, for one, welcom-

Ah fuck it. Leave the croc be. If he's eaten that many people, then he's a... national treasure? If not, then no harm, no foul. Unless there IS a posse of crocs that are ganging up on people and terrorising them.

Hold that thought. I need to ring Hollywood.

[Night_stalker]

He's been already made into a movie. Check out Primevial, which is a fictional account of him.

[ShadowDragon8685]

Actually killing him shouldn't be too hard; the old-fashioned application of superior firepower.

If you're going after him yourself, I'd suggest something chambered in .700 Nitro Express, or perhaps .577 Tyrannosaur. But I hope you're smegging rich, because that's gonna put you back a few bucks.

Of course, for sixty grand you could also just hire a force of elite mercenaries to track the son of a bitch down, which is what I'd really advise; bring in strong armored gear, preferably amphibious, track him down and machine gun the shit out of him. Or hell, if you've got unlimited funds and/or are the government of Burundi, send in helicoptor gunships.

As for capturing him, well... Honestly, I think your best bet is probably a harpoon gun with the highest test cable you can find, and equipment like out of the second Jurassic Park movie.

[Wing Commander MAD]

Actually killing him shouldn't be too hard; the old-fashioned application of superior firepower.

If you're going after him yourself, I'd suggest something chambered in .700 Nitro Express, or perhaps .577 Tyrannosaur. But I hope you're smegging rich, because that's gonna put you back a few bucks.

Of course, for sixty grand you could also just hire a force of elite mercenaries to track the son of a bitch down, which is what I'd really advise; bring in strong armored gear, preferably amphibious, track him down and machine gun the shit out of him. Or hell, if you've got unlimited funds and/or are the government of Burundi, send in helicoptor gunships.

As for capturing him, well... Honestly, I think your best bet is probably a harpoon gun with the highest test cable you can find, and equipment like out of the second Jurassic Park movie.

Seriously, who said anything about killing it? I also have doubts about how effective a harpoon would be for a live capture, last I checked harpoons aren't exactly nonlethal. Leave the croc be, if its managed to survive sixty years, it deserves to be left alone and not killed as a trophy for some asshole.

[ShadowDragon8685]

Actually killing him shouldn't be too hard; the old-fashioned application of superior firepower.

If you're going after him yourself, I'd suggest something chambered in .700 Nitro Express, or perhaps .577 Tyrannosaur. But I hope you're smegging rich, because that's gonna put you back a few bucks.

Of course, for sixty grand you could also just hire a force of elite mercenaries to track the son of a bitch down, which is what I'd really advise; bring in strong armored gear, preferably amphibious, track him down and machine gun the shit out of him. Or hell, if you've got unlimited funds and/or are the government of Burundi, send in helicoptor gunships.

As for capturing him, well... Honestly, I think your best bet is probably a harpoon gun with the highest test cable you can find, and equipment like out of the second Jurassic Park movie.

Seriously, who said anything about killing it? I also have doubts about how effective a harpoon would be for a live capture, last I checked harpoons aren't exactly nonlethal. Leave the croc be, if its managed to survive sixty years, it deserves to be left alone and not killed as a trophy for some asshole.

A baited cage has been tried, but to no avail. Any suggestions for either killing, or capturing this massive beast?

As for the harpoon being nonlethal, this motherhumper has survived several rifle rounds in the past. Harpoon him and go in with very long, very strong animal-control poles, wrestle him down and pump him full of enough tranquilizers to knock out a - well, a one-ton dinosaur.

[SylasGaunt]

Seriously though there has never been a single identified animal that has killed 300 people. Maneating tigers for example only manage to kill a few dozen at most before disappearing or being put down.

The "Champawat Tiger" supposedly killed at least 436 people. This was an animal that apparently had the habit of going into villages and killing multiple people, which is how it racked up such large numbers.

IIRC the Panar Leopard was right up around 400 to.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Find Patterson who delt with the Ghost and the Darkness...

[Dark Hellion]

I was wondering, how does one capture Gustave?

For those who have no idea who I am talking about, Gustave is a massive croc that can be found (at your own risk however) in Burundi, Africa. Currently he has killed 300 people plus numerous animals including hippos, measures about 20 feet (6.1 meters) long, is 60ish years old, and weighs about 1 ton. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gustave_(crocodile)

A baited cage has been tried, but to no avail. Any suggestions for either killing, or capturing this massive beast?

Nuke the place from orbit. Its the only way to be sure.

[RowanE]

A bigger baited cage. No need to get fancy.

[ebs2323]

throw a zebra with some A1 ssteak suace in the bigger cage. then set up a camera. when Gustav comes to take a bit nuke the site from orbit.

[The Yosemite Bear]

no you just need roy schieder, richard dreyfus, an oxygen tank, and a rifle....

[Night_stalker]

And a bigger boat.

[PeZook]

You know, people seem to long for the times of terrifying man-eating predators that required guile, skill and a pair of steel balls to defeat. It's almost as if "kill the beast by getting a hundred men with AK-47s to sweep the area" is not romantic enough...

[The Yosemite Bear]

Well Earlier I mentioned sending Col. Patterson after him, though time caught up with said expert a long time ago.