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Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 08:52am
by lord Martiya
When I read it, I couldn't believe to my eyes.
link
The Examiner wrote:How far is too far in our Twilight series fandom? With newspapers gaggling over film stars Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson's choice of wardrobe and hairstyle on a near-daily basis, a readership of Stephenie Meyer's hit series that has reached over 30 million, the film reaching the number one spot for the year (see here), and children running around biting other children in the name of Twilight (supposedly - see here), we have to step back and wonder, when is our fandom getting to be too much?

Pillow Biters, one my favorite Twilight blogs, is reporting that the so-called Cullenist religion might be going "overboard to a realm that would make Mormon mom Stephenie Meyer cringe."

Cullenism, as a term, stems from the name of the wildly popular characters Edward Cullen (played by Robert Pattinson in the film adaptation) and his family (Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Emmett), fictional vampires from the series, who come into and change the life (pun) of one Bella Swan (portrayed by Kristen Stewart in the film), whose narration of the story takes us through a very suspenseful and winding few thousand pages at the edge of our seats. I love Twilight just as much as the next person, but is it possible for the devotion to have gotten out of hand on this one?

These Cullenists believe "[j]ust like any other religion," that there is some spirituality to be had in the Twilight series, forming rules and principles upon which to base their tenets. Their creed, say the Cullenists, includes a base set of beliefs that "Edward and the rest of the Twilight characters are real," that "[t]he Twilight series should be worshipped," and that "f you are good in life, you will be bless[ed] with eternity with the Cullens." Other than that, say the Cullenists, there "is not a limit to what you can believe in when it comes to the Cullenism religion . . . we will accept any other Cullenism beliefs you may have." Cullenists are also expected to read some of the books on a daily basis, "like the Bible" and make a pilgrimage to Forks.

While religion and spirituality are a first-hand and very personal experience, and others who formulate their own principles and guidance to help them maneuver through and stay afloat in this challenging, frustrating, and sometimes depressing thing we call life are often praised for their individualism and bravery, the Cullenists might be stretching it a little.

It is one thing, in our fandom of the series, the film, its cast, etcetera, to spend inordinate amount of time, say the fans, on reading, re-reading, discussing, and watching things about the series, but it is a whole other to devote the core of one's faith to a set of fictional books and films, don't you think?


Please tell me it's a joke.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 08:53am
by GrandMasterTerwynn
It's probably about as serious as people who refer to themselves as "Jedi" or "Haruhiists."

<second line goes here>

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 09:39am
by Temujin
I don't know, people get pretty fucking weird when it comes to religious shit. It wouldn't surprise me if they were truly trying to tie some elements from the fictional material* into some quasi-spiritual/religious thing; kinda like how some Matrix wankers tried to do for philosophical ideas. Besides, hardcore Twilight fans aren't exactly known for their intelligence.

Being Meyer is a moron Mormon, can anyone who read/saw this shit attest to whether she incorporated any of her own religion's overtones into it?

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 09:47am
by Soontir C'boath
I would not find this surprising if this is the case since we already have something like it already; L. Ron Hubbard's crap.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 10:10am
by CaptHawkeye
It turns out people are insecure and need to gravitate towards a perceived space where they can be welcome?

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 10:32am
by Solauren
Cullenism eh? Do we count this as a even-more-stupid-then-normal branch of Mormonism?

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 11:25am
by PeZook
You couldn't believe your eyes? In a world where Scientology is a church and people engage in "gorean relationships", you consider this somehow...shocking?

Really?

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 11:36am
by Siege
Sounds like pretty much exactly the kind of thing I'd expect teenage girls with slightly overactive imaginations to make up...

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 11:41am
by General Zod
Siege wrote:Sounds like pretty much exactly the kind of thing I'd expect teenage girls with slightly overactive imaginations to make up...
Sounds like another form of otherkin to me.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 11:44am
by Crazedwraith
I was hoping this was the belief that trucks will one day transform into giant robots that will save us from our sins.

Also the truth, as ever, is less exciting.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 12:26pm
by OmegaChief
Crazedwraith wrote:I was hoping this was the belief that trucks will one day transform into giant robots that will save us from our sins.

Also the truth, as ever, is less exciting.
Will die to save us from our sins.

Multiple times.

Can't forget that part.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 02:32pm
by DPDarkPrimus
I... I thought this was going to be about worshiping the man who plays Optimus Prime...

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 03:30pm
by lord Martiya
PeZook wrote:You couldn't believe your eyes? In a world where Scientology is a church and people engage in "gorean relationships", you consider this somehow...shocking?

Really?
Well, on the surface Scientology doesn't look that bad (at least when you don't know what they are. And given Scientology little fame in Italy, I was positively shocked when I found out what the nice-looking guys with Dianetics on the shirt believed into), these guys worship Pedodog and a stalking pseudo-vampire that make Angel of BTVS look cheerful. Hell, even MEGATRON would be a better choice for worship! If nothing else, he's not a stalker, tends to leave human alone when we don't have anything he wants and looks cool...

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-03 07:31pm
by Maj
Temujin wrote:Being Meyer is a moron Mormon, can anyone who read/saw this shit attest to whether she incorporated any of her own religion's overtones into it?
I've only read the first novel (hated it) and done a little research into the rest, but from what I read, there's not much Mormonism directly in the books.

Some ideas that Mormons strongly value play a starring role, but they're not ideas necessarily unique to Mormons: the value of sacrifice, chastity, and free agency (everyone chooses and is responsible for their own actions).

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-04 02:48am
by Oni Koneko Damien
Maj wrote:I've only read the first novel (hated it) and done a little research into the rest, but from what I read, there's not much Mormonism directly in the books.

Some ideas that Mormons strongly value play a starring role, but they're not ideas necessarily unique to Mormons: the value of sacrifice, chastity, and free agency (everyone chooses and is responsible for their own actions).
You read wrong. The books are entirely soaked in not-so-subtly masked Mormon propaganda, Edward Cullen's description nearly perfectly matches Joseph Smith, and their entire relationship progresses along perfect Mormon lines.

This is an in-depth look at the heavy Mormon influence in the books, written by an ex-member of the LDS church.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-04 07:43am
by Maj
Oni Koneko Damien wrote:You read wrong. The books are entirely soaked in not-so-subtly masked Mormon propaganda, Edward Cullen's description nearly perfectly matches Joseph Smith, and their entire relationship progresses along perfect Mormon lines.

This is an in-depth look at the heavy Mormon influence in the books, written by an ex-member of the LDS church.
Actually, I've already read that. And actually, I'm also an inactive member of the Mormon church.

And here are some problems I have with that link:
stoney321 wrote:he was handsome, shockingly so, he could draw you in with just his presence, let alone when he spoke, down to his freaking nose and hair color
Seriously? This describes just about every main man in every romance novel ever written. And Twilight may be complete garbage, but it's definitely a romance novel.

As for the physical description of Joe, he was blond, not bronze/copper haired. His eyes were green, not brown. And as far as anyone knows, Joseph Smith didn't sparkle. But I may be wrong on that point.
stoney321 wrote:Edward is pure white
This is pretty common in vampire [romance] literature. Attributing it to Mormonism is retarded.
stoney321 wrote:Edward also doesn't believe in open mouth kissing, swearing, chewing tobacco, drinking caffeine, and enjoys time with his family.
I mentioned chastity already. Chewing tobacco is disgusting, and while I'm sure that there are romance novels out there that have it as part of the story, most women don't want to imagine kissing a guy who chews.

I'm willing to give stoney points for the swearing and caffeine, but I think the family thing is not only believable within the context of the book, but it's also not uncommon to other literature. Percy Jackson did everything for his Mom (and she was awesome right back), but to the best of my ability to discern, Rick Riorden isn't Mormon.
stoney321 wrote:now we can be a proper family for eternity
Again, that's a staple part of vampire romance literature (and there is a ton of that stuff out there).
stoney321 wrote:Perfection = a constant drum beat in the Mormon church. You aren't supposed to try to be perfect, you are supposed to be perfect... Everyone in Edward's family is: you guessed it, perfect. They all look like they stepped out of a catalog.
This is again, another hallmark of [vampire] romance literature. If the heroine isn't perfect, the romance tends to fall into the genre of the chick who's really hot but doesn't think so and is infuriatingly annoying because there is no real reason for the guy to be in love with her at all.

In fact, I just picked up a book called A Girl's Guide to Vampires that is a perfect example of this. It sucked, too.

There is a lot to dislike about Twilight, but the analogies being made to the church are as related as the color comparison between my sister's hair and a wooden chair. So they're the same color - does that mean my sister is a walking advertisement for birch?

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 01:05am
by Zor
GrandMasterTerwynn wrote:It's probably about as serious as people who refer to themselves as "Jedi" or "Haruhiists."
Well, at least with those cases you have it based around a Fictional Religious order and a Godess where this is around a distinctly non divine being. Yes, its nitpicking but it does make it a bit weirder.

Zor

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 03:18am
by Broomstick
Temujin wrote:I don't know, people get pretty fucking weird when it comes to religious shit. It wouldn't surprise me if they were truly trying to tie some elements from the fictional material* into some quasi-spiritual/religious thing; kinda like how some Matrix wankers tried to do for philosophical ideas. Besides, hardcore Twilight fans aren't exactly known for their intelligence.

Being Meyer is a moron Mormon, can anyone who read/saw this shit attest to whether she incorporated any of her own religion's overtones into it?
WelI, I'm not an expert on such things, but from what I could stand to read (really, the series makes me puke) there's about as much overt Mormonism in it as, say, the works of Orson Scott Card or the original Battlestar Galactica. The influence is there, but if you're not a Mormon or not familiar with Mormonism you'll most likely miss it.

Critical thinkers aren't going to care that much for Twilight (though I'm sure there are some exceptions) which means the majority of the fanbase are over-hormonal romantic women, predominately young enough to have little real-world experience.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 04:40pm
by Night_stalker
Wait, people actually want to WORSHIP Edward Cullen? The same guy whose idea of love is stalking, more or less? The same guy who is about 109 years old, and wants to marry a girl barely out of high school? WTF is attractive about that?

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 09:04pm
by Broomstick
For some sheltered young girls having a strong, indestructible, wise protector is very appealing. Basically they want Daddy. But a Daddy who isn't really their daddy so it's OK to fuck him, too.

I mean, where do you think the term "sugar daddy" for an older man fucking a much younger woman and lavishing gifts on her comes from?

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 09:05pm
by hongi
If nothing else, this new religion will provide the killer riposte: the Cullens must be culled.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 09:08pm
by Mr. Coffee
When you figure mainstream Christianity thinks Jesus was a pasty white dude that kept telling people to drink his blood it actually makes sense sorta.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 09:11pm
by Stark
What's sad is I thought this thread would be about a religion based on Optimus Prime.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 09:39pm
by Mr. Coffee
Stark wrote:What's sad is I thought this thread would be about a religion based on Optimus Prime.
Optimus Christ died for your sins, heathen.

Re: Cullenism. Seriously

Posted: 2010-09-05 09:50pm
by Stark
freedom is the right of all heavily armed beings