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I HATE WRITING PAPERS!!

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:21pm
by Trytostaydead
Goddammit!

Through highschool, we were taught to be CONCISE and write short papers. In my first year english class in high school that supposedly was supposed to teach us how to write science papers, same thing applied.

NOW, I'm given an assignment for 10 pages. I'm stuck on page two because I've about said everything I need too. @#$!! $#@%$#%!!!

Re: I HATE WRITING PAPERS!!

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:23pm
by Joe
Trytostaydead wrote:Goddammit!

Through highschool, we were taught to be CONCISE and write short papers. In my first year english class in high school that supposedly was supposed to teach us how to write science papers, same thing applied.

NOW, I'm given an assignment for 10 pages. I'm stuck on page two because I've about said everything I need too. @#$!! $#@%$#%!!!
Just find enough material for 2 more pages and BS the remaining 6.

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:25pm
by Darth Wong
Add more justifications and pieces of evidence for your conclusion. If it's a paper that requires real work (eg- a lab report), you need to run more tests, collect more data, and make lots of large graphs.

Re: I HATE WRITING PAPERS!!

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:26pm
by fgalkin
Trytostaydead wrote:Goddammit!

Through highschool, we were taught to be CONCISE and write short papers. In my first year english class in high school that supposedly was supposed to teach us how to write science papers, same thing applied.

NOW, I'm given an assignment for 10 pages. I'm stuck on page two because I've about said everything I need too. @#$!! $#@%$#%!!!
I've got the opposite problem. If I'm writing something, I can't seem to get it under 5 pages.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:28pm
by Darth Yoshi
Also, make the paper wordier, and increase the font size by half a point.

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:30pm
by Hotfoot
Pad the paper with quotations that support your position, then cleverly restate what the cited work says. If that doesn't help, ramble on and add some personal anecdotes.

That, or turn in the paper at 3-4 pages, then have a discussion with the professor afterwards if he has any complaints. (Warning: only applicable if your professor is open to such discussion. If you're in a 100+ student lecture, you're on your own.)

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:34pm
by Hotfoot
Darth Yoshi wrote:Also, make the paper wordier, and increase the font size by half a point.
In that vein, also experiment with other fonts than Times New Roman. Some fonts appear roughly the same, but take up more space, thus making the paper appear longer than it actually is.

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:35pm
by Pablo Sanchez
The mantra I learned for such purposes:

Restate, reword, restate, reword... ad infinitum. I was usually good enough with a twist of the English language to fool my teachers, and if they were perceptive enough to catch me, they were usually smart enough to water down the required length.

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:40pm
by Mr Bean
I took the tatic of making a complentry "Bullshiting package"

Professer Y, Says write a ten page paper on somthing that takes me roughly two pages to state clearly and completly got what I like to call the bullshit package


A per-written 20 page long document filled with nothing other than restaments and word choice flipings that was so vaugly worded as it could be applied to anything

If they said they would mark off for brevity, I mearly reached into my bags whiped out the Bullshiting package and staple it on

For extra effect on thos proffesors who were either asses or had a sense of Humor I did it in Mid-Air with a staple gun :D

j/k

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:41pm
by Trytostaydead
Unfortunately, I cannot resort to such ploys. Font size will have to be strictly regulated at any rate, and so will margins. Quotations have almost no place in this paper. It's a science paper. Only numbers and postulates. Graphs and pictures are to be submitted seperately. God almighty.

Re: I HATE WRITING PAPERS!!

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:43pm
by Nathan F
Trytostaydead wrote:Goddammit!

Through highschool, we were taught to be CONCISE and write short papers. In my first year english class in high school that supposedly was supposed to teach us how to write science papers, same thing applied.

NOW, I'm given an assignment for 10 pages. I'm stuck on page two because I've about said everything I need too. @#$!! $#@%$#%!!!
Welcome to college, my friend.

Been through two semesters of English (101 and 102) and am currently on my English 231... We had a paper due every week, anywhere from 5 pages to 8 pages, or longer, depending on the subject.

Writing a paper in there as we speak, as a matter of fact.

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:45pm
by neoolong
Get more evidence.

If there isn't, just constantly restate your opinion in every conceivable way.

Posted: 2003-03-09 09:45pm
by Darth Yoshi
Half a point usually isn't noticeable, and you can chalk it up to you particular printer or word processor (I printed the same document, word for word, on MSWorks and Wordpad, and the length was different). But like Hotfoot said, experiment with the different font types. And make it really really wordy to compensate.

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:03pm
by aerius
Take lessons from the Darkstar school of debating. You too can learn to write 100,000 words of pure nothingness! See Mike's RSA Hatemail page for more details on how it's done. :D

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:15pm
by Anarchist Bunny
Let me guess, it's due tomorrow? Luckly for me I still have 1 year and a third of that left before I have to accually work on my papers.

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:18pm
by Exonerate
Increase the margin, make the line spacing like 1.1, add font size a little.

You'll just have to learn to be wordier...

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:19pm
by Darth Yoshi
aerius wrote:Take lessons from the Darkstar school of debating. You too can learn to write 100,000 words of pure nothingness! See Mike's RSA Hatemail page for more details on how it's done. :D
Um...I think he actually needs his brain intact right now. Telling him to read through DarkStar's stuff won't help him too much, except for giving him a legitimate reason to plead insanity.

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:20pm
by Trytostaydead
anarchistbunny wrote:Let me guess, it's due tomorrow? Luckly for me I still have 1 year and a third of that left before I have to accually work on my papers.
LOL, how'd you guess? But I believe I can argue for an extension..

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:45pm
by Dalton
Welcome to the world of college :) I feel your pain, I've had the same problem, but mostly with things like English or Film or Drama papers where I found that bullshit was my greatest ally. If it's a science paper I'd take Mike's advice. Good luck, and if you pull an all-nighter coffee is your friend.

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:48pm
by neoolong
Exonerate wrote:Increase the margin, make the line spacing like 1.1, add font size a little.

You'll just have to learn to be wordier...
I can usually space it to 1.5 without it looking too bad.

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:48pm
by Pu-239
Have 4 essays to edit for english tomorrow. Only 1 partially done as of now. I CAN'T STOP READING THIS BOARD!!

Is there any way to temporarily block someone's access to this site, including not being able to read anything?

Posted: 2003-03-09 10:54pm
by Dalton
Pu-239 wrote:Have 4 essays to edit for english tomorrow. Only 1 partially done as of now. I CAN'T STOP READING THIS BOARD!!

Is there any way to temporarily block someone's access to this site, including not being able to read anything?
Ask Mike for a temp ban.

Posted: 2003-03-09 11:01pm
by Howedar
If he has that little self control, he needs more help than a tempban.

Posted: 2003-03-09 11:05pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
My English teacher makes us use 12-point Times New Roman, so we have to resort to using filler. Replace short words and phrases with larger ones, and if you still have several pages left to type, just go off-topic, or type something like "Screw Berman and Braga" over and over again.

Posted: 2003-03-09 11:08pm
by Pu-239
Dalton wrote:
Pu-239 wrote:Have 4 essays to edit for english tomorrow. Only 1 partially done as of now. I CAN'T STOP READING THIS BOARD!!

Is there any way to temporarily block someone's access to this site, including not being able to read anything?
Ask Mike for a temp ban.
Not this time, since it's due tommorrow anyways. When the next project comes around.