StarDestroyer.Net BBS

A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea.

The doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?"

She said that she did.

He asked, "Does it hurt you?"

She said no.

The doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant."

The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?"

The doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"

neoolong wrote:Uh oh. Mike's in a lot of trouble.

An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class:
“There are two things you need to succeed in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.” Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse’s anus and licked it. “Now you must do the same,” he told the class.
After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.
“Second,” the professor continued, “You must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this corpse’s anus, but licked my index finger?”

Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, “My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free.”
The second man said, “My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He’s so successful that he gave a friend a new Mercedes, fully loaded.”
The third man, not wanting to be outdone, bragged, “My son is a stockbroker, and he’s doing so well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio.”
The fourth man joined them on the tee several minutes later. The first man mentioned, “We are just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?”
The fourth man replied, “Well, my son is gay and dances in a gay bar.”
The other three men grew silent as he continued. “I’m not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing good. His last three boy friends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio.”

A young journalism graduate from Arkansas had gone to work for the New York Times. His first assignment was to write a brief human interest story. An idea came to him and he returned to one of the most remote areas he knew of in his home state of Arkansas.
Deep in the woods, he came upon a farmers house and decided this would be a good place to start.
He introduced himself to the back country farmer and explained why he was there. The farmer (named Farmer Mahon) agreed to answer his questions.
The reporter asked the farmer what event in his life had made him the happiest?
Farmer Mahon replied, “One time a neighbor lost one of his sheep. We all formed a posse and found it. After we all screwed it we took it back to the farmer that lost it.”
“I can’t print that,” said the reporter, “Is there another event that made you really happy?” Farmer Mahon thought for a minute and said, “Yep. One time the daughter of another local farmer got lost. She was a good-lookin’ young girl. We all formed a posse and found her. After all of us screwed her, we took her back to her daddy.”
Again the reporter knew he couldn’t print the story and decided to take a different tack. He asked Farmer Mahon, “Is there any event in your life that has made you really sad?”
Farmer Mahon hung his head and replied, “Well, I got lost once.”

A husband walks out of the bathroom naked, and was climbing into bed when his wife complained, “I have a headache.”

“Perfect.” her husband said. “I was just in the bathroom powdering my penis with asprin. You can take it orally or as a suppository. It’s up to you!”