Gulf War Drinking game

Faram · Post by **Faram** » 2003-03-24 03:20am

This whole war shit is really adding to my current depression, so I am posting this to cheer stuff up.

the gulf war two drinking game

drink when:

* bush is called a crusader
x2 if its by saddam
* saddam is called evil
x2 if its by bush
* iraq troops surrender to the media
x2 if to a unmanned vehicle or inanimate object
* iraq uses weapons it claims not to have
* the united states uses weapons it won't allow iraq to have
* a member of the media gets shot at
a toast to the shooter if its ashleigh banfield(msnbc), geraldo riviera(fox) or arron brown(cnn)
* saddam uses a scud he doesnt have
x2 if its towards Israel
* the united states terrorist threat level changes
* the united states government tries to link iraq to 9-11
* france goes pro US invasion
* germany takes the side of the united states in a global war
* Dominique de Villepin reminds you of that annoying rich kid in high school
* someone implies tony blair is bush's bitch
* someone implies scott ritter is Saddam's bitch
* anybody 'warns' anybody
* the word "escalation" is used
* iraq and the united states are shown seated next to each other in the united nations
* an American is shot down over iraq
x2 if an iraqi makes in into an aircraft
* an American is shot,
x2 if its by an enemy
* the media compares the war to blackhawk down
x2 if its because a blackhawk really goes down
* a puppet government is installed in iraq
x2 if its by the puppet government installed in the US
* saddam uses the word 'Zionist'
x2 if its bin laden
* you change your opinion on the war
* the media shows iraqi children in a hospital because of international sanctions
x2 if its because of american military action
finish your drink if saddam actually put them there, but claimed it was the united states
* iraq promises full and complete cooporation with inspectors
* Iraqi civilians greet Americans with cheers
x2 if its with bullets
* the saudis do something the united states accuses iraq of doing
* north korea does something the united states accused iraq of doing
x2 if they don't get away with it
* al-jazeera is referred to as the "arab cnn"
finish your drink if cnn is referred to as the "american al-jazeera"
* the conflict is compared to the vietnam war
x2 if the word "quagmire" is used
* saddam goes missing
finish your drink if he is confimed killed
* the pope is said to "pray for peace"
* bush mispronounces the word 'nuclear'
finish your drink if its referring to a bomb that has gone off
* richard armitage's neck shows up
* if you can't find kuwait, bahrain, qatar, oman, or the united arab emirates on a map
x2 if you even own a map of the region
finish your drink if you can pronounce them all correctly
* any of the following commentators are on tv:
x1 ken pollack, khidhir hamza, general wesley clark, col david hackworth, general bernard trainor, david kay, richard butler, thomas friedman, scott ritter, thomas andrews, anybody running for United States President
x2 general norman schwarzkopf, general walt boomer, general buster glosson, brent scowcroft, james baker, richard perle, william kristol, james woolsey, henry kissinger
x3 any former united states president
* an actor or actress expresses an opinion on the war
x2 if this is the first time you've seen them in a year
* an american reminds the french of world war one and two
x2 if a frenchman reminds the americans of the revolutionary war
* saddam torches the oil fields
* someone reports from "the arab street"
* colin powell looks exasperated sitting at the u.n. security council
x2 if its because a country you didnt know exists is commenting on the war
* anyone in the bush administration says "make no mistake"
* the american military are told what to do by someone with no military experience
x2 if they dodged the vietnam draft
x3 if they dodged the vietnam draft, are an ex-governer of a southern us state, and ever held or holds the title of 'commander-in-chief'
* tariq azziz's glasses get larger
* somebody says saddam "tortures his own people"
* you momentarly confuse george roberston with shrek
* an arab country staging american troops speaks against the war
* an arrow anti-missle missle is fired
x2 if it intercepts something
* tom ridge laughs while discussing potential terrorists attacks
* God picks a side
finish your drink if its not yours
* somebody implies a blood for oil trade may be in progress
x2 if that person owns a S.U.V.
* a protest sign attacks Bush directly
x2 if it attacks saddam directly
* The united states bombs anything in iraq before the fighting 'offically' starts
x2 if iraq tries the same thing
* Saddam is compared to Hitler
x2 if bush is compared to Hitler
* someone compares the size of iraq to california or france
* The media refers to itself as 'embedded'
* someone says "shock and awe"
* The words "Weapon(s) of Mass Destruction" are used
x2 if its shortned to "WMD"
* A US Official uses the word "liberate"
* Bush says "innocent civilians"
* Bush quotes scripture
x2 saddam quotes the koran
* Somebody says "between Iraq and a hard place"
* A videophone craps out
x2 the anchor apologizes for it
* Someone on TV says something contradictory to what is on their news ticker
* A news correspondent asks if they can still be heard
x2 if they say "Can you hear me now?"
x3 if it is followed by a verizon wireless comercial
* Any political or military leader refers to Australia
* Saddam shoots a gun into the air
* Saddam refers to George Bush as "little Bush" or "junior bush"
* you see soldiers in gas masks
x2 if they were actually necessary
* an initial news report turns out to be false
x2 if the anchor openly admits it
* this game is mentioned in the news
x2 if the bush twins are playing it
* Bush directly addresses Iraqis
x2 Saddam directly addresses Americans
* a saddam body double is seen
* someone refers to "coalition of the willing"
x2 if is because a member is actually providing combat troops
* someone refers to 'Halliburton'
* Media cameras on the baghdad skyline focus on something that looks like an erect penis
* someone reminds us that osama bin laden is still alive
x2 if he reminds us himself
* The media refuses to report something because of operational security
x2 if its immediately followed by a commentator telling what will happen next
* the media reports that something "is not the start of the war"
x2 if it involves any act of war
* the military learns of something for the first time from the media
* someone uses the term "cradle of civilization"
* ari fleischer lies
x2 if it is directly to helen thomas
* anybody says something about exercising a right to protest
x2 if its added that it what the troops are fighting for
* on the baghdad cam, a car runs a red light
x2 if it stops
x3 if its during a bombing
* any coalition representative mentions securing oil fields
x2 if immediatly followed by "for the benefit of the iraqi people"

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-03-24 03:25am

ill drink to that!

jenat-lai · Post by **jenat-lai** » 2003-03-24 05:11am

I think if I drank everytime I heard one of those things I'd be in a drunken stupor for 3 weeks after the campain! Maybe that's my fault for watching CNN on Cable tv for about an hour or 3 a day since "Operation Iraqui Freedom" started.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-03-24 05:28am

*Blind drunk*

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2003-03-24 10:55am

i'm drinking now. So when do I stop drinking, exactly?

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-03-24 11:45am

irishmick79 wrote:i'm drinking now. So when do I stop drinking, exactly?

With all the stuff that's on that list stop drinking when the war is over

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2003-03-24 12:29pm

Cool. Can I get a blood transfusion then? I'm probably gonna need it....

SyntaxVorlon · Post by **SyntaxVorlon** » 2003-03-24 12:40pm

This just in...
Yet another case of alcohol poisoning caused by the Gulf War Drinking Game.
Stupid poli-sci majors who forgot that Headline news repeats everything every halfhour started the game while watching the network. Accross the nation the death toll has claimed 500 lives due to a mix of Headline news and this drinking game.
FCC and ATF officials are ordering police to search bars and dorm rooms for perpetrators.
And the ASA and PSA, American Sociologist Association and Political Scientists Association, fear that an entire generation of social scientists will be lost to this drinking game.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-03-24 01:40pm

I'm performing precision guided booze strikes on my liver as we speak.

Darksider · Post by **Darksider** » 2003-03-24 01:43pm

RedImperator wrote:I'm performing precision guided booze strikes on my liver as we speak.

::: tries not to laugh:::

::: fails and laughs to the point of suffication:::

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-03-24 01:57pm

'France goes pro US invasion?!??!!!!' BWAHAHAHAH!!!!! I'd like to see that!

*wipes tear from eye* Goddamn, those were funny.....

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-24 05:59pm

x3 if they dodged the vietnam draft, are an ex-governer of a southern us state, and ever held or holds the title of 'commander-in-chief'

You mean Clinton?

Also, shouldn't you finish your drink if a reprter says a sentence without using "Shock and Awe"?

As for the game itself, I better not try it, since I'll have drank myself to death after an hour.

Mark S · Post by **Mark S** » 2003-03-24 06:16pm

That there's a lot of drinkin'

Cal Wright · Post by **Cal Wright** » 2003-03-24 06:48pm

Yeah, well, keep pourin'

*hiccup*

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-03-24 10:25pm

*hic*
I luv yaz all...
*hic*