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http://tv.yahoo.com/news/wwn/20030319/104808600007.html

NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!


I dunno what to say... Ba-a-ah?

Weekly World News wrote:Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

What the fuck??



This looks like something to follow...

Going from $800 to $350 million.

HAve a very nice day.
-fgalkin

The probability of his having connections inside all those companies he invested in are very small.

Of course, the probability of his having a working time machine is even more infinitisimally small...

Shoot him and see if he regenerates

You guys do realize that the source is a tabloid, right?

Beowulf wrote:You guys do realize that the source is a tabloid, right?

No, it doesn't matter, I wouldn't believe it if it was on the New York Times or whatever respectable magazines there are.

But it's so stupid it HAS to be true.

Maybe it's Dr. Emmett Brown using one of his aliases.. then Marty McFly isn't far away...

Ahh, using future information is inside trading IMO (or at least, should be illegal anyway) so write a book, then throw it at him!

It's from the Weekly World News. This is a "newspaper" that routinely prints headlines such as, "Bible Predicts [Insert Horrible Catastrophe Here]!", "45 Pound Baby Born!", "Horse-sized Rats Terrorize Midwest", and once, I swear, "Scientists Plan to Blow Up Moon: Say We'd Be Better Off Without It". I'm not going to take this story very seriously (by which I mean it's got as much credibility as Scooter).

Heh, misread the title. "Where's the DeLorean, Calrissian?" That could be a fun fic...

Just read it and they forgot to ask him if there are flying cars and FTL starships in the future.

hmmmm.....ok mr time traveler, explain to me why your futere self hasn't found out about your arrest and zapped you back to the future. [red foreman] dumbass [/red foreman]

Col. Crackpot wrote:

hmmmm.....ok mr time traveler, explain to me why your futere self hasn't found out about your arrest and zapped you back to the future. [red foreman] dumbass [/red foreman]

Maybe its only one way time-travel, like in Terminator.

Hey, maybe he's a criminal from the future and his prison sentence is getting sent to the past...

It's from Weekly World News.

It's a really tongue-in-cheek, satirical tabloid. Funny, but not surprising.

Did you read the one about the half-alligator man? Or that NASA saw Heaven through the Hubble telescope?

my favorite tabloid story was always bat boy, the half human half bat. Hell it was like a story arc that went on for year. After sept 11th the enquirer even had a story entitled: "Bat Boy joins the Marines"

My favorite tabloid headline was:


Elvis, Hitler, and JFK alive in Argentina

I should have framed that one.

Glocksman wrote:My favorite tabloid headline was:


Elvis, Hitler, and JFK alive in Argentina

I should have framed that one.

Ohhhh, so thats how that whole Falklands thing got started!

Tell Braxton, he is in violation of the temporal prime directive.

I am reminded of a scene, from I don't remember where, a man says "So you can see the future eh?" (Or words to that effect)
Punches psycic in face, stunning it.
"Didn't see that one coming did you?"