The top 5 worst movies ever thread

Post by **Vympel** » 2003-03-28 07:46am

Rules: only mainstream films. No Z-grade shit like '9 Deaths of the Ninja', or 'ROTOR' (never heard of em? Exactly!)

My list.

1: The entire Rambo series. Never has such an offense against all things good and holy been inflicted on the Earth- yes, you can include entire series in one, especially Rambo and Rocky. And it's my thread, so STFU

2: Rocky 3, 4 and 5.
3: Titanic.
4: Red Dawn (every crazy ultra-right wing militia members dream scenario)
5: Armageddon

Boba Fett · Post by **Boba Fett** » 2003-03-28 08:24am

Red Dawn? When the Soviet Union invades the USA? Starring Patrick Swayze?

That movie sucked...

On the other hand there's too much shitty movies out there, so it's hard to make a list...but I try:

Titanic
Karate Kid
JAWS 2,3,4
Armageddon
Pearl Harbour (I think Tora,Tora,Tora was far better...)

...oh and SW Holiday Special is the winner!!!

Peregrin Toker · Post by **Peregrin Toker** » 2003-03-28 08:29am

Does "Battlefield Earth" count as a mainstream movie??

I haven't seen that movie, but I've heard that the book once won a "Best sci-fi novel ever" award, while the film has won several "Worst sci-fi movie ever" awards.

Superman · Post by **Superman** » 2003-03-28 08:53am

1. "From Dusk Till Dawn" What was Clooney thinking?

2. "Armageddon" Gotta watch out for those asteroid fires that burn in
open space.

3. "Sweet November" There was a part that featured Keanu Reeves
singing. That retard can barely talk, let alone
sing.

4. "Die Hard 2" I know most people love this movie, but Burce Willis does
NOT impress me. How many times do we need to hear
about his hangover? Schwarzenegger is a
convincing "macho man," Stallone is macho, but Willis?
Stupid alpha male monkey macho
tripe.

5. Anything by Jay and Silent Bob
Words do not describe how much I hate these movies.
Watching these movies is like being the only sane
person at a Tourrette's Syndrome convention. These
two are the kings of nerdy artsy fartsy shit. Why?
WHY WHY?

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-03-28 09:13am

Five:

Pearl Harbour (don't boink your MIA boy/girlfriend's friend, got it)
Deep Impact (I was rooting for the asteroid)
Armageddon (and this asteroid too)
Titanic (DeCaprio.... ugh. Needed more asteroid)
ID4 (mac compatible aliens least of its problems)

Can't leave out:

Jurassic Park (nice dino pics though)
Godzilla (hollywood version)
Event Horizon ("textbook" 2D wormhole *ugh* leads to plane of evil? To the director: you desperately needed to establish the credibility of this plane of evil.. people might not have walked out of the theatre)

Axis Kast · Post by **Axis Kast** » 2003-03-28 09:17am

1. Ishtar
2. Ishtar Returns
3. Ishtar Is Still Here
4. Thought You Could Shoot Ishtar, Huh?
5. Just Give Up

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-03-28 09:35am

Zoink - you take that back about Jurassic Park!

My list:
1. Godzilla (US version)
2. Titanic
3. Meet the Parents
4. Event Horizon
5. Saving Private Ryan

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-28 09:45am

Here my top 5
1:All musicals ARGGHH

2:All 5 Rocky (Adriaaaaan)

3:All 3 Rambo (he`s not superman dammit)

4:American pie

5:All chick flicks

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-03-28 09:45am

innerbrat wrote:Zoink - you take that back about Jurassic Park!

The dino pictures were nice. I can see why people would like it, but I can't stand Jeff Goldbloom's characters. I can't even make myself watch the first movie.

Axis Kast · Post by **Axis Kast** » 2003-03-28 09:46am

The original Jurassic Park ranks up there as one of the best films ever made. My favorite.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-03-28 09:48am

Superman wrote:1. "From Dusk Till Dawn" What was Clooney thinking?

Oh, c'mon. That movie was pretty good up to Salma Hayek's snake dance. After she vamps out it blows hard though.

I do think Clooney's good in it but definately not a good movie (and it got two STV sequels...wtf?).

Okay, I like some of the music and Salma Hayek is hot so maybe nearly all of the movie blows.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-28 09:49am

Zoink wrote:
innerbrat wrote:Zoink - you take that back about Jurassic Park!
The dino pictures were nice. I can see why people would like it, but I can't stand Jeff Goldbloom's characters. I can't even make myself watch the first movie.

Admit it like all of us you liked seeing the lawyer become DINO-CHOW

Zoink · Post by **Zoink** » 2003-03-28 09:59am

Montcalm wrote:Admit it like all of us you liked seeing the lawyer become DINO-CHOW

In the same sense that the sinking Titanic killed all the annoying people (Decaprio), yes.

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-03-28 10:05am

Supernova

Red Sonja -- Arnold was the best actor in this movie.

I'm not kidding.

Serving Sara -- and I really like Elizabeth Hurley, and Mathew Perry is usually funny but man does this movie suck. Not even Bruce Cambell can save it.

Stroker Ace --Burt Renolds absolute worst "Good Ol' Boy race car movie.

The Color of Night-- Bruce Willis in an erotic thriller!?!? WTF? Does Jane March have a career other than getting naked?

Body of Innocence --Madonna and Willem Dafoe? AAAAAAAAaaaagh. Will people stop it already. No more trying to make Basic Instinct again. It wasn't that great the first time around. Jade should earn honrable mention here.

Hollow Man Should have been good, kind of sucked.

Axis Kast · Post by **Axis Kast** » 2003-03-28 10:08am

Serving Sara was fucking hilarious!

Tsyroc · Post by **Tsyroc** » 2003-03-28 10:10am

Axis Kast wrote:Serving Sara was fucking hilarious!

It had its amusing moments but was way too predictable to me.

Death from the Sea · Post by **Death from the Sea** » 2003-03-28 10:16am

Blair Witch movies - wow some people actually like these????
Rocky 5 - should have stopped at 4 Sly
The Nutty Proffessor(Eddie Murphy version) - because it spawned a terrible sequel
Doctor Doolittle 2 - part one was mediocre and did not warrant a sequel
Crossroads - never saw it but it has Britney Spears for crying out load
Titanic - the only cool part other that the ship breaking in half was Leo sinking into the deep dark, I cheered while my date cried

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-03-28 10:18am

1. Highlander 2
2. Batman and Robin
3. Alien 3
4. Titanic
...have nothing for five as for too much for who it would fit for.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-03-28 10:25am

Zoink wrote: The dino pictures were nice. I can see why people would like it, but I can't stand Jeff Goldbloom's characters. I can't even make myself watch the first movie.

By that first sentence, I assume you mean that the best special effects for the time (10 years ago and still hasn't aged) were spectacular.
Lucky Jeff Goldblum only played 1 character, isn't it? But yuo cna't claim a film is one of the worst ever made because 1 character was annoying.

I watched Jurassic Pasrk again recently, and it still scares me - it's easily the best film Spielberg ever made (he really should stick to suspense monster films and avoid naff patroitism).

irishmick79 · Post by **irishmick79** » 2003-03-28 10:30am

1.) Pearl Harbor - This movie was supposed to have a somewhat patriotic flair for the American audiences, but I was actually thankful when the Japanese showed up to blow things apart.

2.) The Patriot - starring Mel Gibson. American patriotic Rah Rah bullshit at it's finest

3.) Episode 1:The Phantom Menace - Seriously, outside of the lightsaber duel there is absolutely no redeeming quality about this movie. Not even sewer rats would eat this gutter trash.

4.) Dirty Dancing - repeated viewings of this chick flick while under duress have inspired Jihad levels of hatred for patrick swayzee.

5.) James Bond 007 in Never Say Die - or whatever the hell the most recent bond flick was. "Madonna" and "James Bond" are two names that should never, ever share space on the silver screen. Madonna singing a Bond song is an atrocity against Bond fans everywhere.

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-03-28 10:32am

So wait, does this mainstream rule mean that I can't list "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death?!?!" Shit...

Can we clarify that you actually have to have SEEN the movie (or some of it) to make a judgement on it? There was a similar thread a while back where people were ranting about how they hated Titanic or other similar box office smash and they'd never seen the movie, and it pissed me the hell off.

Anyway...

"City of Angels" is one of the worst movies I've ever partially seen. I watched about 2/3 of it and it bored me so much that I just shut it off. Didn't give a shit how it ended, since I didn't get involved in the characters AT ALL. Bleck.

"The 13th Warrior." Antonio Bandaras. Lousy plot. Even worse accents.

"Atomic Twister!!" It's made for TV, but I'll bet some of you have seen bits of it or have at least heard of it. I actually like a lot of bad movies (like this one), but it still has to be listed. A tornado basically sits on this little town for the ENTIRE MOVIE (yes, basically in the same exact spot) while at the SAME TIME there's some weird accident at the nuclear plant and they desperately need to figure out a way to deal with both problems! Basically the solution involves the main female lead taking off more and more articles of clothing.... It's hilarious! Not supposed to be, but it is. And with the biggest-named actor being one of the guys from "Saved By the Bell," you know it's GOT to be good.

"The Faculty" was a shitty movie too, but like I said, I happen to like shitty movies, and this is one of my favourites.

"Rocky" just annoys me. Every time it comes on TV, Sly Stallone sounds like such a learning-impaired twit that I had to switch it off. If I had been his woman and he'd have been calling out to me like that, I would have jumped on a bus and gotten the hell away from him. What a moron! Ugh. Can't stand it.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-03-28 10:43am

1) Titanic - Even Kate Winslet's nude scene can't redeem the horrible acting and worse story of this peice of crap.

2) The Planet of the Apes sequels - The first one was good, the sequels were progressively bigger piles of shit.

3) Battlefield Earth - If it weren't for the fact that half of hollywood was part of his cult this L Ron Hubbard peice of shit never would have been made. It was an offense to ever last brain cell.

4) Highlander 2 - God fucking awful. It went and pissed over everything that made the first one cool.

5) Blair Witch Project - dumb and completely unscary. I was never scared for second and I kept a huge list of stupid things they did. They were so dumb they didn't deserive to survive.

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-03-28 10:57am

Zaia wrote:So wait, does this mainstream rule mean that I can't list "Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death?!?!" Shit...
"Atomic Twister!!"

I`m not sure but i think direct to video or tv movies don`t count

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi · Post by **Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi** » 2003-03-28 11:03am

Planet of the Apes (The one released a few years ago): It made no sense whatsover, a big problem.

Jurassic Park III: It appears to be an obvious attempt to squeeze every last cent out of the franchise to me.

Wrongfully Accused: In an attempt to be funny, it ends up with a bunch of cheap laughs only enjoyable if you have an IQ of under 10. Sure, there were a couple of times I chuckled, but overall, it's a pretty lame movie.

Titanic: I enjoyed the part when the ship sinked, and nude scenes with attractive women are always good, but overall, it was an overrated romance flick to me.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-03-28 11:21am

1. Quest for Camelot (Animated movie) (AAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! THE SINGING!!!!!! SAVE MEEEEE!!!!!!

)

2. Jurassic Park 3 (Spielberg should've thrown the director into a raptor pen. What a waste of a movie ticket.

)

3. Newest Planet of the Apes (The ending completely killed the entire movie. Only a person who hates the possession of a brain could've done that)

4. Mars Attacks (They could've been trying to parody alien invasion movies, but I'm not sure.)

5. The 2nd and 4rd Aladdin movies (Disgraces to the original Aladdin animated movie.)