Fuck you, Hollywood. Just...fuck you.

[Borgholio]

http://screenrant.com/crow-reboot-2016- ... gn=SR-FB-B

Relativity Media’s The Crow franchise reboot is a project that has gone through numerous directors and leading men alike – including Luke Evans and Jack Huston in 2015 alone – during its never-ending attempts to climb out of pre-production limbo. Development on the comic book film adaptation stalled again this past summer when Relativity declared bankruptcy; not too long thereafter, The Crow creator James O’Barr offered his assurances that the movie reboot would yet see the light of day, all the same.

It’s now being reported that Relativity intends to make The Crow its first post-bankruptcy production, rather than allowing its claim to the property rights to expire. Director Corin Hardy, who broke out as a filmmaker at the 2015 Sundance Film Festival with his indie horror flick The Hallow, remains onboard to call the shots on the project, when (if?) it begins shooting.

The Wrap is reporting that principal photography on The Crow (under Hardy’s direction) is now gearing up to being by the first quarter of 2016 – March that year, to be exact. O’Barr, in the past, has claimed that Relavity has sunk nearly $20 million into its big screen reboot of The Crow since development got underway around 2008. Hence, Relativity remains less inclined to simply let the project pass to another studio, especially now that its bankruptcy declaration has given the organization something of a fresh slate to work from.

The Crow property originated as a comic book that was written by O’Barr in 1989, telling the story of Eric: a young man who returns from the dead in order to seek revenge, after his girlfriend and he are assaulted and murdered by a street gang. O’Barr’s graphic novel gave rise to the cult hit 1994 movie of the same name directed by Alex Proyas and starring Brandon Lee (who infamously died from an on-set accident during production); there have since been multiple film sequels and a television series, though none of them proved able to replicate the success of the original Crow movie adaptation.

The Crow is a dark supernatural superhero property of sorts – and seeing as the superhero movie genre has yet to diminish in popularity (no matter how many keep predicting on that this will happen sooner than later), it’s not surprising that Relatively so clearly wants to get a slice of that same pie. Whereas Universal Pictures appears to be re-inventing its rich catalog of classic monsters as modern-day dark superheroes with films like Dracula Untold and the upcoming The Mummy reboot, The Crow doesn’t need any adjusting to fit that particular mold.

Mainstream comic book adaptations that feature true horror genre elements (like The Crow) are more of a rare specimen nowadays – and with Hardy overseeing the project, it’s fair to assume that the Crow reboot will veer on the darker side too, in terms of its visuals and tone alike. For related reasons, there is room for The Crow to thrive in the current movie landscape; whether the film will ever actually make it out of pre-production and/or be able to stand alongside the 1994 film version, that’s another matter.

We’ll bring you more information on The Crow as it becomes available.

[Darmalus]

You'll need to explain to me why this deserves a "fuck you". I take it you like the The Crow and assume it will be bad?

[Borgholio]

The Crow is an excellent movie that is greatly under-rated by most people. Given Hollywood's lousy record for remaking things that don't need remakes (sometimes several times, and doing a horrible job of it), I am not at all trusting of their ability to make a respectable remake of this movie.

[TheFeniX]

My mom said the same thing about John Carpenter's "The Thing." Then she saw Kurt Russel was the lead and fucking dove at it. The Thing was a pretty damned good movie. Then again.... the 2011 version was completely unwatchable even with Winstead.

Oh well, can't win them all.

[Elheru Aran]

Well... John Carpenter's Thing was a very good movie in its own right. The 2011 version's problem was it tried too much to ride on the coat-tails of JCTT, and they ditched what were apparently some pretty good practical effects in favour of some epically shitty computer graphics.

Haven't watched The Crow. I suspect it's very much a product of its time though (early 90s wasn't it?) and wouldn't work today. But if they can prove me wrong, more power to them.

[Darmalus]

In the end a new movie (or book, comic, etc.) doesn't unmake the originals, so if it's a complete disaster you're no worse off than if it had never been made. I've been badly disappointed by sequels myself (Highlander 2, whyyyyy) but in the end it just means I don't watch them again, and who knows, maybe it'll be great (or at least passable).

This doesn't work for online games, where a patch or update can actually unmake parts of the game. That's a whole different can of worms.

[Iroscato]

In capitalist America, Hollywood fuck YOU!

[TheFeniX]

Well... John Carpenter's Thing was a very good movie in its own right. The 2011 version's problem was it tried too much to ride on the coat-tails of JCTT, and they ditched what were apparently some pretty good practical effects in favour of some epically shitty computer graphics.

The effects were only part of the problem. There was no... charm like the original. I had no feeling any of the people in the 2011 version even really worked with each other, were friends. The addition of the Americans into the group and the tension caused by the whole "outsiders coming in and figure out everything because they aren't blinded by greed" angle cut away from screen time that could have been better used.

It wasn't even a remake but they had to try (and fail) to capture the tension of the 82 version's scenes.

Haven't watched The Crow. I suspect it's very much a product of its time though (early 90s wasn't it?) and wouldn't work today. But if they can prove me wrong, more power to them.

That makes... little sense. There's so many old movies that would play well today.... if they hadn't already been made. That same year we got Forrest Gump and Shawshank Redemption. Neither were even set around 1994 and the Crow could be set in any real or fictional city/timeframe.

Good writing generally always plays well.

[Elheru Aran]

I didn't quite explain myself well. I mean the film (The Crow) is a distinctly 90s product like, say, Spawn, Savage Dragon, the X-plosion at Marvel, the Death of Superman arc, etc... Shawshank Redemption and Forrest Gump (and didn't Jurassic Park come out that year too?) are a little more timeless.

At least, that's the impression I've always gotten from all the reviews. I should actually get around to watching it one of these days.

[TheFeniX]

I didn't quite explain myself well. I mean the film (The Crow) is a distinctly 90s product like, say, Spawn, Savage Dragon, the X-plosion at Marvel, the Death of Superman arc, etc... Shawshank Redemption and Forrest Gump (and didn't Jurassic Park come out that year too?) are a little more timeless.

Spawn was a product of just bad.... everything. From eviscerating it's source material to actually looking like a bad comic-book movie. The Crow didn't play like that. I actually find it a bit overrated (like Pulp Fiction), but it's still a great movie because it didn't fall into a lot of the traps it could have.

Like, not only was Spawn a bad comic movie, it was also heavy on exposition for the general audience, but ALSO ran into the issue that actually explaining comic book reasoning for bad guys doing bad things is generally is really terrible idea. So, Comic fans would hate not only the butchering of the source material, but wasting time explaining the butchering. General audiences still wouldn't understand what the fuck was going on and probably didn't care anyway. Also, Violator fart jokes.... no. And I really like John Leguizamo.

At least, that's the impression I've always gotten from all the reviews. I should actually get around to watching it one of these days.

Probably. There's a reason it's a stand-out. Hard to pin it down to a genre and it was broad enough to attach general audiences. 1994 just really was a good year for movies.

[Tribble]

The Crow is one of those movies I've never got around to watching, though I've heard it's a bit scary. What is it about? A crow that eats people? A scarecrow that eats people? A scarecrow that commands crows to eat people? I hope it's not the bird version of Willard...

[Channel72]

It's basically about Bruce Lee's son, and how he dresses up in gothic attire and looks cool.

[Lord Insanity]

Without spoiling too much: It's about a guy that has his soul carried back from the "land of the dead" by a crow. This happens because he was brutally murdered and now has the chance to get revenge as an immortal zombie with some low level superpowers.

Trying to remake a cult classic like 'The Crow' is stupid. Three inferior sequels wasn't enough?

[Tsyroc]

Without spoiling too much: It's about a guy that has his soul carried back from the "land of the dead" by a crow. This happens because he was brutally murdered and now has the chance to get revenge as an immortal zombie with some low level superpowers.

Trying to remake a cult classic like 'The Crow' is stupid. Three inferior sequels wasn't enough?

Wasn't there also a bad syndicated TV show?

The Crow soundtrack was also a hit at the time the movie was out. I think mostly because of some STP song(s).

The movie was one of those movies that was cooler than it really should have been. A modern gothic revenge love story that still manages to be a little depressing but that is okay. It was definitely R rated.

[Starglider]

It's an action-horror movie about a revenant who is the protagonist. It's the height of early 90s goth grunge unironic grimdark. It was required watching for teenagers playing the White Wolf RPGs (gothic punk world) circa 1995. Honestly I found it kind of boring, the director was pretty good on style, but the action is tame by modern standards and the plot and characters don't hold your interest. The sequel was the exact same plot with lower production values. A remake could be a significant improvement if it is actually reimagined into a more interesting setting and characters.

[Raw Shark]

It's an action-horror movie about a revenant who is the protagonist. It's the height of early 90s goth grunge unironic grimdark. It was required watching for teenagers playing the White Wolf RPGs (gothic punk world) circa 1995.

Hi. My name is Raw Shark, and I was a teenage White Wolf junkie circa 1995.

Honestly I found it kind of boring, the director was pretty good on style, but the action is tame by modern standards and the plot and characters don't hold your interest. The sequel was the exact same plot with lower production values. A remake could be a significant improvement if it is actually reimagined into a more interesting setting and characters.

The original Crow is an archetype of style over substance in the goth grunge unironic grim dark aesthetic as much as the first Underworld was an icon of the same in a goth glam unironic grim dark aesthetic. It's more about torture (in multiple ways), overwrought emotions, and melodrama than action, though it has some action in it. Giving the characters more than two dimensions would almost ruin it by bringing stuff like morality into what should just be a glossy and/or flat black rage-fueled revenge fest with the sort of soundtrack that I loved twenty years ago but haven't listened to in nineteen, IMHO.

Also, I think Michael Wincott is brilliant in everything I've ever seen him in, and would have a hard time judging any replacement fairly.

[TheFeniX]

Ah man, White Wolf. Oddly, none of my White Wolf crew was actually big Crow fans. Nah, the "you gotta watch this" crew was more the guys who just loved old shitty horror movies and good/shitty kung-fu stuff. Like, Bowman loved Enter the Dragon and Ricky-O and would not shut-up about The Crow.

Also, kind of funny (to me at least) that I'm currently re-playing through Vampire Bloodlines. Now there's something that could use a remake. Really does play like the Source Mod it is. Though it does has some production value (and John fucking DiMaggio in the first 5 minutes).

Honestly, on the "let's remake old shit front," I think a Big Trouble in Little China remake with Chris Pratt as Burton would work. But man, the good John Carpenter movies are fucking classics you really shouldn't mess with. Maybe a sequel.

I think it's weird I've been "forced" to watch The Crow 3-4 times at my old apartment (when I had roommates) yet all I can remember about it is the ending and some specific scenes. For how decent it was, I really can't be bother to care enough to watch it again. Don't get me wrong, it's a good movie. I just never got the huge amount of hype for it. Like Firefly/Serenity.

[Lagmonster]

Honestly, on the "let's remake old shit front," I think a Big Trouble in Little China remake with Chris Pratt as Burton would work.

I'm going to have to edit this sentence out of your post basically on principle, lest some Hollywood producer see it.

Here's what Hollywood should do, for me personally, that it sucks at: Adapting 30s pulp action/fantasy to film. Just fuck you that you cannot make Lovecraft, Howard, or Burroughs movies that can stand up to anything else in the fantasy genre. Fuck you that there is no noteable Doc Savage movie (Shane Black, do not mess that up). Fuck you that they let a Baldwin near The Shadow. Fuck you that you won't let the master of artistic design, del Toro, near Mountains of Madness. Fuck you that nobody liked John Carter except me.

[Vain]

"This is the really real world, there ain't no coming back."

Also, I think Michael Wincott is brilliant in everything I've ever seen him in, and would have a hard time judging any replacement fairly.

If the new movie is a fresh adaptation of the comic, as opposed to a straight up remake of the original film, then Top Dollar (the Michael Wincott character) may not even exist, since he was a sort of amalgamation character written for the original.

Also, you are totally on point with the movie being thematically about melodrama and overwrought emotion rather than horror or action. After seeing it, my highschool girlfriend remarked, 'That may be the most romantic movie I've ever seen.' The movie was intended to appeal to a certain young demographic and I think it succeeded admirably at that. It may not hold up as well for those of you who weren't of-an-age at the time.

Finally, I thought the soundtrack was pretty good at the time and still have it on heavy rotation in my car. But, I still unironically listen to The Cure. Your mileage may vary.

[TheFeniX]

Not saying they wouldn't screw up BTiLC up terribly, but it could work. The setting, the insanity, the camp: could all still work. Watching Guardians of the Galaxy made me want to watch Big Trouble again because Pratt plays like a less cynical Jack Burton.... in space.

Fuck you that nobody liked John Carter except me.

I really liked that movie. Collins in that sexy getup was HNNNNG. Bonus points that she's s good actress. My heart aches in every scene she's in. And getting Ceaser and Mark Antony back together? Man, forget about it. The main plot was the weak point of the movie. Everything else was damn good.

[Borgholio]

Finally, I thought the soundtrack was pretty good at the time and still have it on heavy rotation in my car. But, I still unironically listen to The Cure. Your mileage may vary.

The soundtrack really is quite good. Stone Temple Pilots and the Cure are a great mix.

[madd0ct0r]

I'm excited since it looks like they'll be using a building I'm volunteering to save for the filming. Well, they were. Not sure about this returner.

[Ziggy Stardust]

Fuck you that you won't let the master of artistic design, del Toro, near Mountains of Madness.

I'm fine with that, considering how many of his projects are steaming piles of shit. "Pan's Labyrinth" is his only really legitimately inspired/great movie (though I do like the "Hellboy" movies). But "Pacific Rim" was an ugly trainwreck, and his passion project "The Strain" is somehow even worse. I don't want him ruining Lovecraft.

[Iroscato]

Fuck you that nobody liked John Carter except me.

I really like John Carter as well, as it goes. Wanna form a club and picket Disney?

[Raw Shark]

Finally, I thought the soundtrack was pretty good at the time and still have it on heavy rotation in my car. But, I still unironically listen to The Cure. Your mileage may vary.

Okay, I've never been crazy about The Cure, but I just re-listened to the whole soundtrack for the first time in a while and it holds up a lot better than I expected. I'm not particularly a huge guitar fan, but there's a lot of great guitar work on this album, and it manages to combine a diverse array of styles while sticking to the same overall theme.

This is a bit of a tangent from saying that I still like the album, but if they're going to do a remake, I'd love to see the Crow done with a very different musical palette; something more like Morphine and Tom Waits. Picture the big nightclub gunfight scene set to slow, melancholic baritone sax. There should be a fan version of this.