Samurai Armor becomes all the rage (RAR!)

[Zor]

In this scenario one day you notice someone walking down the street dressed like this...

...he's just going about doing some regular stuff. The next day however you see a couple in Samurai Armor in the park (neither member of which was the first individual) find that a new shop has opened up which appears to be selling nothing but Samurai Armor and you see some people shopping it. Over the next couple of months you see more and more guys dressed in Samurai Armor and web articles about this increasing fashion. Some people can splurge to have actual authentic Samurai Armor made by Japanese armorers while most people go for faithful if mass produced armor. Ashigaru Armor....

...Is also worn, if more casually. Eventually it gets to the point that you can't go out without seeing a bunch of guys dressed like this.

What do you do?

Zor

[Vendetta]

Be the most comfortable person on the planet because I'm not wearing armour like an idiot?

[Executor32]

When in Rome...

[Purple]

I concur with 32. Although I'd totally cheat and get mine made out of lacquered plastic plates. This was some times done in Japan (only with wood) to cover less sensitive areas because it looks just like armor and frankly your enemies won't exactly be poking into the plates to find out. And I imagine plastic armor is going to be way lighter to wear than anything metallic. Bloody cheaper too.

[Zwinmar]

Laugh, because that armor couldn't stop a modern handgun so why wear it?

[Purple]

Laugh, because that armor couldn't stop a modern handgun so why wear it?

For the same reason people wear a noose with the rope pointing outward around their necks for people to tug on every time they dress up fancy.

[Simon_Jester]

Where I live, the armor would be cold and uncomfortable and then, four months later, hot and uncomfortable. Not wearing it.

[Thanas]

Walk around the streets with a longsword/sabre/rapier and offer to test the sturdiness of their armour for free.

[Zor]

Walk around the streets with a longsword/sabre/rapier and offer to test the sturdiness of their armour for free.

That activity would be considered "Uttering Threats" in Canadian Criminal law. What's the German equivalent of that?

Zor

[Thanas]

"Performing a public service"

[Iroscato]

Wait until summer then make my fortune selling cold drinks to the armoured sheep.

[LaCroix]

Consider investing in a company that produces skin balm. That's going to be some bad chafing if you wear armor all day.

[Raw Shark]

I refuse to pick up anybody in obvious armor as a matter of general principle. They are impervious to my attacks, and I dislike that.

[Alyrium Denryle]

Walk around the streets with a longsword/sabre/rapier and offer to test the sturdiness of their armour for free.

I can just imagine it. Thanas and a bunch of friends go out dressed like this:



Gonna need to change the color scheme through. Black, red, and gold stripes. And dont forget the enormous codpieces.

[LaCroix]

Actually, these codpieces are pretty small and modest.

There were pieces more than a foot in lenght, and/or containing wineskins...

[Elheru Aran]

I mock, and save my pennies until this becomes possible:

[The Vortex Empire]

Get some proper Maximilian full plate to show them what armor is supposed to look like.

[Imperial528]

Wait until summer then make my fortune selling cold drinks to the armoured sheep.

Ditto, but I'll use the money to -after saving up enough for a masters degree or three- get a modern (climate controlled), functional one of these:



And go around doing things like lawn work or in the winter snow clearing all from the comfort of a useful machine.

[Elheru Aran]

Get some proper Maximilian full plate to show them what armor is supposed to look like.

"I say, sirrah! A most jolly jest indeed!"

[Elheru Aran]

Or there's always Italian, for a change of pace...



For the gentleman of *ahem* generous proportions, we have this outfit:



(A girdle is gently suggested to accommodate this suit, but we can let it out as needed...)



Your dog can accessorize in such fabulous style as well!



For an additional fee, the suit can be made as impervious as possible, though one is advised to abstain from consuming beans or cabbage prior to combat:



(seriously, check it out, there are almost no gaps *anywhere* on that armour, it's Henry VIII's foot-combat armour minus its tonlet skirt. A real piece of work)

And should one's countenance be pleasantly plump, to prevent those undignified pricks at the rump when one cannot maneuver on the field of battle as quickly as they used to, we highly recommend this:

[Purple]

I think all of you are missing the point somewhat. This is 2015. Any armor worn on the street is not going to be functional. It's going to be a fashion statement. And that's how Zor presented it too. So any arguments toward functionality or coverage go out of the window immediately. It's just a fancy set of clothes. And whilst I'll be the first to admit that Gothic armor looks much better it's also going to lend it self much worse to that sort of use. Japanese armor, especially the ashigaru grade stuff is going to lend it self much better to being made out of cheap plastics sown onto your regular clothes for comfortable everyday wear.

[Solauren]

Go buy an Iron Man Suit and show them what real armor-swag looks like.

[LaCroix]

@ Elheru Aran
I believe you do know that the last suit you postet is also Henry VIII's? (Text is hard to read)

That was the last armor he was able to squeeze himself into and still able to move.
link to sizes and weights...

From L to XXXL

The exhibition has been five years in the planning and includes field armour made for the 6ft 1in Henry when he was 23, with his 34.7in waist and his 41.7in chest. Then there is armour made for the Field of the Cloth of Gold five years later - he's up to a 36.1in waist and 41.8in chest. Foot combat armour also made for that year shows some particularly rapid weight gain - a 37.9in waist and 44in chest. Twenty years later his armour for a tournament to celebrate May Day has him ballooned up to a 51in waist and 54.5in chest. "You get an impression of what he was like in the flesh that you just can't from a painting. Armour has to fit quite closely," said the Royal Armouries academic director, Graeme Rimer.

Just as remarkable is the sheer weight of the armour he was wearing. The foot combat armour made for 28-year-old Henry weighed 94lb or 42.7kg.

So, the ultra-protected armor of Henry VIII was about 42.7 kg (and basically impervious to anything)

[SpottedKitty]

"I say, sirrah! A most jolly jest indeed!"

Is that... moustache armour?

[Thanas]

Gonna need to change the color scheme through. Black, red, and gold stripes. And dont forget the enormous codpieces.

And muskets. Can't do without one.