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He was part of an RPG group I was with. Didn't know him very well but it's hurting me all the same. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can cope?

Accept that it is painful. It's also OK if you feel a bit numb. Basically, however you feel is how you feel and it is fine.

If there will be some sort of memorial going to it might help. Such memorials frequently combine discussion of memories, some laughter at funny stories, and perhaps some crying.

It will take awhile to get past this. That's OK. To some extent, keeping to routine will help with this, and so will keeping busy.

If you need to talk to someone then find someone. You can also come here.

If you're finding something specific difficult please let us know.

Thank you Broomstick.

this is bit of personal anecdote byut I got this really nice leather winter coat that used to belong to my late uncle but I got it when he died, sometimes I think he would come up and ask about the coat even though intelectually I know that only that would possible as that a)I was dead or b) something as seriously wrong and dead were walking again, but I cope with those feelings by reminding myself that they perfectly acceptble and natural way to feel. Just because you've accepted that someone is dead doesn't mean you have to like that or not miss them.

Another way that helped me to cope is to focus on the good memories I have rather then the fact that said person is gone, so I think a small memorial like Broomstick suggested might be a very good thing.

FYI:my uncle died in January so you can probably understand why I'm not that willing to talk about it in detail yet.

My dead relatives and friends sometimes appear to me in dreams and we talk. In a more superstitious age I might have called them ghosts, but really, it's my subconscious missing them. Again, perfectly normal. I know it's not real, and sometimes it makes me sad when I remember they're gone, but most of the time it's bittersweet, it keeps their memory alive.

I used to set aside some time to remember the individual on the anniversary of their death, but now I've moved to doing that on Halloween and the Day of the Dead, which seems quite appropriate.

IIRC that was the orginal meaning of Day of the Dead, to remember those who have passed away.

SolarpunkFan wrote:He was part of an RPG group I was with. Didn't know him very well but it's hurting me all the same. Does anyone have any suggestions on how I can cope?

Take it one day at a time. Talk about him to your friends if you feel you need to, go back over old memories if you feel you need to, and don't be ashamed to cry or mope around for awhile if you feel you need to. Let your grieving process happen as it needs to happen.

Thank you everyone. I feel better today, but I'm going to miss him nonetheless.

Missing him is a healthy thing. It would be weird not to.

I lost my last uncle eleven years ago (to alcoholism; the other five died before my birth due to what they tell me was "cancer" but what I suspect, due to the wopness of my family and the ages involved, was "lead poisoning"), and the first person who I've had sex with that died last July. I have no advice at all for coping with either of those things, except to just not dwell on it excessively, focus on your priorities, and always keep moving forward. Even if they can't live anymore, you can, and should. Good luck.

SolarpunkFan wrote:Thank you everyone. I feel better today, but I'm going to miss him nonetheless.

There will come a time, when you see something random and you might think to yourself "gotta remember to tell X about this, they'll love it", and then you remember X passed away. You will feel horrible; but you're not alone in having had that experience. You're not a horrible person who 'forgot' someone. Grief is strange and mysterious and it's okay to talk to people who you trust about it.

Chin up mate, I lost my last Grandparent last year a week before I was due to fly out to see him in Greece. I had a lot of guilt about not flying out earlier for a long time.

Broomstick wrote:My dead relatives and friends sometimes appear to me in dreams and we talk. In a more superstitious age I might have called them ghosts, but really, it's my subconscious missing them. Again, perfectly normal. I know it's not real, and sometimes it makes me sad when I remember they're gone, but most of the time it's bittersweet, it keeps their memory alive.

I used to set aside some time to remember the individual on the anniversary of their death, but now I've moved to doing that on Halloween and the Day of the Dead, which seems quite appropriate.

For the longest time after my dad died, I could swear I could hear the table saw and the radio both blaring in his shop. Even weirder in that he couldn't work in his shop for a couple months before the end.

Solarpunk, buddy, I don't know what else to say that the others here haven't, except sorry. And, he probably would've wanted your RPG group to keep on gaming.

Crown wrote:There will come a time, when you see something random and you might think to yourself "gotta remember to tell X about this, they'll love it", and then you remember X passed away. You will feel horrible; but you're not alone in having had that experience. You're not a horrible person who 'forgot' someone. Grief is strange and mysterious and it's okay to talk to people who you trust about it.

I was going to make more or less this same point. The day I reached it was when I fully wrapped my arms around my mother's death. Took a few months, and I still miss her, but absence is no longer some nebulous concept, as it was before that point.