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I've started to think about things and it seems to me that hatred is winning over love, or at leas sanity, in the world.

And I'm certainly not innocent in that regard. I've been nasty to all sorts of people (especially online), and every time I think I've left it behind it comes back. And all of this shit going on everywhere, and my complicity in doing a part in continuing it is just eating me up inside.

I know somebody might tell me to see a psychiatrist, but I've been seeing one for years and I'm medicated.

I know, I know, this all comes across as just more emo whining from me. If you all want to lay the smackdown on me, go ahead. Hell, I don't even care if I get banned for being such an obnoxious twat, I'd probably deserve it in any case.

Honestly, you're beating yourself up so hard it's obvious that you're suffering from the influence of something that isn't "you" (e.g. an abusive person in your life, some sort of disastrous bad luck, or just a particularly nasty attack of the black dog).

It'd take a lot of callousness to "lay the smackdown" in response to that.

I can't and don't fault people who are depressed. I certainly am not going to call this "emo whining". I'm riddled with mental illnesses at the moment, so any of that would be a tad hypocritical of me for sure.

I haven't seen much of your posting; my only opinion is you have a metric ton of stress from world events. Which, honestly, the media doesn't exactly help those matters, and real life doesn't exactly help those matters either. It takes a lot of learning to be less stressed by the world and in some cases, less paranoid something will happen to you. We hear a lot of the evils occurring, but we don't hear much of positive events, good developments. As pattern-oriented biological meat machines, we end up subconsciously absorbing all this negative and ... well, the obvious happens.

Friends and trying (well, emphasis on trying...) to focus on my hobbies have been helping me to mitigate what I'm going through. I'd ... go as far as to say they've probably saved me from killing myself, so far.

Do you have anything, perhaps any side hobbies, that you enjoy, that would help you divert your attention from the bad shit happening around the world?

Dragon Angel wrote:I can't and don't fault people who are depressed. I certainly am not going to call this "emo whining". I'm riddled with mental illnesses at the moment, so any of that would be a tad hypocritical of me for sure.

I haven't seen much of your posting; my only opinion is you have a metric ton of stress from world events. Which, honestly, the media doesn't exactly help those matters, and real life doesn't exactly help those matters either. It takes a lot of learning to be less stressed by the world and in some cases, less paranoid something will happen to you. We hear a lot of the evils occurring, but we don't hear much of positive events, good developments. As pattern-oriented biological meat machines, we end up subconsciously absorbing all this negative and ... well, the obvious happens.

Friends and trying (well, emphasis on trying...) to focus on my hobbies have been helping me to mitigate what I'm going through. I'd ... go as far as to say they've probably saved me from killing myself, so far.

Do you have anything, perhaps any side hobbies, that you enjoy, that would help you divert your attention from the bad shit happening around the world?

Thank you (and Simon_Jester). Hmm... hobbies? Well I tried programming a few times but it all went over my head. I write occassionally too. Maybe I should try more of that.

Edit: and I really should improve my diet, I bet what I'm eating is not helping either.

Just my personal experience, but owning up to being an asshole goes a long way to fixing things.

SolarpunkFan wrote:Thank you (and Simon_Jester). Hmm... hobbies? Well I tried programming a few times but it all went over my head. I write occassionally too. Maybe I should try more of that.

Edit: and I really should improve my diet, I bet what I'm eating is not helping either.

I've kind of been learning more programming on the side. The way I've learned has been to observe people chatting about subjects in an IRC channel / some articles and their comments that were way over my head, until I eventually pieced them together and absorbed them. Maybe that can work for you too.

I dunno about your diet, but just be careful with that too, as it's pretty easy to go from one extreme to another.

Hobbies don't have to include computers, you know. Do something analog. Buy a bike. Pick up a sudoku book. Go down the Games Workshop black hole and start painting miniatures. That kind of thing.

Doing something that gets you outside may help a lot- humans aren't really wired to spend all our time indoors doing sedentary tasks. It can screw up our brains.

Elheru Aran wrote:Hobbies don't have to include computers, you know. Do something analog. Buy a bike. Pick up a sudoku book. Go down the Games Workshop black hole and start painting miniatures. That kind of thing.

No, don't go down the Games Workshop black hole. Nothing escapes from there. Not even in the Warp.

(besides, I don't know if Solarpunk has a small fortune to spare)

Solarpunk, if you like writing, and, assuming you have a laptop, combine that with a nice change of scenery, like, say, a trip to the public library, or even a nice walk outside.

Eh, you can find the models elsewhere (and perfectly legally too) than GW. Mind you, they're still not cheap, but not GW$$$. They're honestly pretty decent for plastic/resin models, pretty good for painting on. Have they dropped that Finecast dreck yet?

Backpacking, hiking, visiting your local parks/state parks/national parks...

Are you in school? Poke around the billboards. See if there's a group of runners/joggers/walkers. Hell, advertise yourself as a 'people walker' (I am absolutely serious) who will walk with people for something like $7 per mile.

SolarpunkFan wrote:I've started to think about things and it seems to me that hatred is winning over love, or at leas sanity, in the world.

And I'm certainly not innocent in that regard. I've been nasty to all sorts of people (especially online), and every time I think I've left it behind it comes back. And all of this shit going on everywhere, and my complicity in doing a part in continuing it is just eating me up inside.

I know somebody might tell me to see a psychiatrist, but I've been seeing one for years and I'm medicated.

I know, I know, this all comes across as just more emo whining from me. If you all want to lay the smackdown on me, go ahead. Hell, I don't even care if I get banned for being such an obnoxious twat, I'd probably deserve it in any case.

Wrong forum. As a Catholic I advise 111 hail Mary's and a lifetime of self loathing.

But seriously you should probably see someone for talk therapy to clean out the rafters in your head as it were. As long as they aren't pushy trying to set goals and have you accomplish them whether ready or not. I find it helps me when I can get one that doesn't quit or retire after 3 sessions.

Elheru Aran wrote: Hell, advertise yourself as a 'people walker' (I am absolutely serious) who will walk with people for something like $7 per mile.

I can't decide whether that is more sad or cool that someone can actually make money by doing this.

Adam Reynolds wrote:

Elheru Aran wrote: Hell, advertise yourself as a 'people walker' (I am absolutely serious) who will walk with people for something like $7 per mile.

I can't decide whether that is more sad or cool that someone can actually make money by doing this.

Its not cool. Sad. On the cusp of cool. But very sad.

Hookers and blow, works every time.

But seriously. Turn off your computer, disconnect your TV and cellphone, and get out into the real world with real people. Most of your problems will solve themselves once you disconnect from the virtual world and reenter the real world. And if that doesn't work there's always hookers and blow.

It is, I have to say, a lot easier to feel like the world is insane and evil when you view the whole thing through a tiny pinhole.

Speaking as one of our resident fucking lunatics, my advice is to stop caring whether you are sane or not. You do what you do. Try not to hurt anybody, unless they try to hurt you first, in which case I'm not going to advocate violence but I'm not not going to, either. You only get one life. Ride it like a black unicorn down the side of an exploding volcano while drinking from a chalice filled with the laughter of small children. What's the worst that can happen? Somebody thinks you're nuts? So what if they're right?