StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Because I am feeling nostalgic, what are good shows or movies that you would like remade? Bonus points if you can suggest how to update it for the times. The rules are

1. Said movie must be at least 15 years old
2. Said show must be at least 15 years old from when the last season was originally aired.


*******************************************************************************************

No retreat, no surrender.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Retreat,_No_Surrender

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1FpHWAMFks

A guilty pleasure from the 80s. The acting kills me in the first six minutes.

Jean Claude Van Damme in one his earlier roles as a Russian martial artist. Back in the cold war days. The shitty acting, just contributed to this movies charm. With lines like "The Russian," and "You're good," followed by "I get better." Ah, the magic of the 80s.

For those not old enough, some mobsters take over karate dojos, because.... they were profitable. Van Damme is their enforcer and beats the hell out of our hero (Jason Stilwell) and his dad. They move and his dad becomes a pacifist. His son tries to train, inspired by Bruce Lee movies, not helped by his dad with his new found pacifism. One day the ghost of Bruce Lee (no I am not kidding) comes to teach him. Its not clear whether Jason is hallucinating or if only he can see the ghost because its quite clear no one else can.

Changes

Since the USSR is gone, Van Damme's character will have to be some generic eastern European bad guy.

We can have Jason inspired not just by the ghost of Bruce Lee, but a whole host of dead martial artists from history, who just happen to learn English after they died. This might cost more money to hire more actors, but what the hell.

I would also come out and explain the reason why the local bully Scott (the fat kid), kept on picking on Jason's best friend RJ. Literally when someone asked Scott why he hated RJ, it was "I have my reasons." The most obvious one that sprang to my mind was that he was a homophobic bigot and RJ gave out sort of effeminate vibes. Instead of saying "reasons," just have him be a homophobe. Very relevant in the age of gay marriage.

The motive for the bad guys....Ok they want to take over some land which the dojos are on to open up some sort of business. It sounds more plausible than taking over dojos as part of a rival martial arts group.

Otherwise I would keep the action pack goodness which made it awesome, and just improve the acting a little bit.

**********************************************************************
Martial Law

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martial_Law_(TV_series)

A crime drama from 1998 to 2000. Starring Hong Kong action star Sammo Hung as a Sammo Law, a cop from China who comes to America to help track a criminal and ends up with LAPD. He has a niece who is played by the stunning Kelly Hu who grew up in America who also works as a cop. The show works with awesome fight scenes done by Hung, while Kelly Hu's character, Grace and the local cops help American viewers relate to Sammo.

The other jokes went by Sammo's weight. Lets face, it, Sammo Hung is a big man, but he was amazing in acrobatics despite being overweight. He was awesome. There was also a lot of the fish out of water theme.

Changes
No Arsenio Hall's character. To increase ratings the show introduced Terrell, played by Arsenio Hall. Yes the man is a good comedian, but I liked the show better before Terell joined the cast. It seemed more grounded.

Without Sammo Hung, we are going to have use another actor who isn't overweight. He doesn't even have to be an older person. The main protagonist could be a man or woman from China on an exchange program. Kelly Hu's character Grace, could be a cousin and hence they could be similar ages.

As well as the martial arts, the show should continue to play the fish out of water, with obvious different ways in which things are done between the two countries. I could imagine Law pointing out that in China we don't shoot suspects running away, and the Americans saying, yeah but in China the perps don't have guns (not that it excuses the US cops who do that, but it makes for some interesting friction). Another funny tidbit could be Law asking why he can't pay with a smartphone instead of a credit card.

Keep the insular cop on. In the early episodes there was a cop who didn't like Sammo, and as poetic justice goes, he gets nominated to go to the cop exchange program to Shanghai, where he initially finds it crap, but then changes his tune. I think it will be more interesting if he stayed. In fact, you can even play up the "frienemy" relationship China has with the US, and transpose that onto Sammo and the insular cop.

*************************************************************
Forever Knight

A vampire show that didn't suck. Oh wait. Before Vampires sparkled. This show ran from 1992 to 1996. I remember taping it on my vhs by programming the video to record since Australian television screened it a 4 o'clock in the morning. As soon as all 3 seasons came out on dvd, I purchased the whole lot of them. It had such an awesome theme by Frank Molin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S71kWLAIhZ4

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Forever_Knight

Nick Knight (not his real name) is a vampire who survived since the 13th century when he was brought across in 1228. He worked as a cop in Toronto using his vampire powers. He is stalked by his creator Lucien Lacroix (not his real name either) played by Nigel Bennet who was just awesome.

What was different about the show setting, is that while a lot of times Canadian cities doubled as US cities because they were cheaper to film in, Forever Knight didn't pretend. It was just set in Toronto. We see plenty of Toronto landmarks like CN Tower.

Changes
Set it in modern day Toronto instead of the 1990s. Make it harder for officer Nick in the age of smartphones with cameras.

Stop getting rid of the police chief. I swear, each season had a new police chief.

Don't change Janette into a mortal. But however have her fall in love with a mortal, which makes an interesting dynamic.

Vampire hunters. Have vampire hunters be in an organisation. Have them split into factions who want to destroy vampires no matter what, and some who judge by the individual.

Start off with Natalie (the love interest) suspecting Nick is different, but not knowing what. In the first episode Natalie already knows.

When this series end, instead of leaving it open ended, have an ending. Make Natalie a vampire and Lacroix have a truce with Nick.

Introduce Diviya earlier. She is Lacroix's daughter, and while younger than he is, has been a vampire longer than he has, and is one generation ahead of him in vampire lineage. She also has powers other vampires don't have, such as able to inflict injuries on them which they cannot heal from.

One movie that could use a remake is Major Dundee, a movie Columbia Pictures sabotaged and hacked apart. It's a great shame Sam Peckinpah couldn't complete the movie, and while the restored version is an improvement, the film still suffers from studio meddling. Here you have a film set in the southwest and you have maybe four good shots. The rest is muddy, badly lit and badly focused.

The movie takes place near the end of the Civil War, with Major Amos Charles Dundee, a glory hound cavalry officer who got his men slaughtered in a battle in the east, being assigned as prison warden for the army in New Mexico -presumably as punishment. Among the prisoners is a group of Confederates led by Dundee's former friend, Captain Ben Tyreen, who hates his guts not only for being a Damn Yankee but for being the deciding vote that got Tyreen cashiered for killing a fellow officer in a duel. The prison is full of other types of criminals as well -most of whom also despise Dundee.

When a ranch nearby is robbed, burned and massacred (with the exception of three small boys), as well as the relief column sent to save the homesteaders, Dundee sees a chance to lead a cavalry unit for one last ride to glory: He is going to hunt down and smite the Apaches who laid waste the ranch and its inhabitants, orders and sanity be damned. Since the prison has so few Union troops to begin with, Dundee decides to take only a few of his own men (including black soldiers who want to fight rather than shoveling shit in the stables), and recruit volunteers from among the inmates and this includes rebel POWs. Never mind that Dundee is an egotistical asshole and his reputation for being willing eager to sacrifice his own men for glory, and the very CSA troops he wants to parole are the ones who really want to kill him. Dundee is insane and hungry for fame in battle, but he is smart enough to know that while Tyreen hates him for personal and political reasons, he is probably the best leader of men in the prison -including Dundee, who would never admit it*.



Dundee sends troops to rob a Union Army train for weapons, sends an old bandit out to steal mules and horses and when other officers warn him that they are going to report him to higher command, he dares them to try it -even though he faces court martial and possibly a firing squad for deserting his post and stealing supplies.

* A recurring theme in Peckinpah's movies is that the better man is often the one considered the worst. Tyreen might be a rebel traitor but time and again, when Dundee's foolhardiness nearly gets them all killed, Tyreen is the one who shows real leadership.

There are so many interesting characters and so many angles among the different factions in Dundee's unit that several movies could be made with minimal padding. I'd probably want to do it as a miniseries like True Detective.

The new version shouldn't cost all that much, as few special effects would be needed. The big obstacle is finding an actor to play the Major, who is an egotistical asshole.I know people like to bag on Charlton Heston for his Shatneresque overacting, but he was perfect as Dundee. Ditto for Richard Harris as Tyreen. As usual, Peckinpah's casting is almost perfect, so doing these characters justice would be a tall order.

I know studios and networks avoid westerns and Civil War settings like bubonic plague, but I think this one would work.

Was going to say Buffy, but the show doesn't quite meet the criteria of 15 years since the final episode (it ended in the spring of 2003).

Hmm... the Buffy movie? It was crappy enough that a remake could hardly hurt its quality.

I'd probably do a film reboot with elements taken from TV continuity, particularly Buffy's family, and maybe Angel and/or Spike in their (though I can't really imagine anyone but Marsters as Spike). Try to make it more drama/comedy, like the show, rather than straight up comedy. Better effects budget and music. Have Buffy's original Watcher die as in the film, but maybe have reboot-Giles cameo at the end (on that note, if I ever cast anyone other than Anthony Head as Giles, my choice is Colin Firth).

And Gary Oldman as the villain, because no movie will ever suffer for Gary Oldman's presence.

Oh, and remake Forbidden Planet, though in that case its because Forbidden Planet is awesome, just a little dated.

I'd try to keep the style, themes, and plot similar to the original, with updated effects and casting (particularly reg. the all white male spaceship crew). The music is kind of inimitable, I think, so I'd try to go with something similarly unique and unusual but different, rather than trying to copy the original's style.

Edit: Oh, and I probably wouldn't show the monster at all. The invisible, vaguely-described thing leaving only footprints and corpses always seemed more impressive to me than the brief sequence where its shape was visible.

I'd like to see a remake of TimeTrax with good acting. But Continuum is kind of a spiritual successor.

General Zod wrote:I'd like to see a remake of TimeTrax with good acting. But Continuum is kind of a spiritual successor.

Hey, what was wrong with Dale Midkiff's acting? Also I thought the Australian actress who played his computer AI did a good job.

mr friendly guy wrote:

General Zod wrote:I'd like to see a remake of TimeTrax with good acting. But Continuum is kind of a spiritual successor.

Hey, what was wrong with Dale Midkiff's acting? Also I thought the Australian actress who played his computer AI did a good job.

I tried rewatching it a couple months ago and I guess I never noticed the bad acting since I was basically 13 when it came out. Selma was basically the best character on the show though. (But since we have phones with AIs now the show might need a new gimmick.)

I wouldn't mind a Remake of "The Six-Million Dollar Man" https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Six_M ... Dollar_Man . Considering the current advances in prothestics and humans capable of upgrading themselves (transhumanists) it could inspire widespread discussion about the merging of man and machine. The producers could also incorporate Features nobody considered in the 70ties. Also I'd be curious how less campy Special effect would work in such a Setting.

Disney's Version of "20,000 leagues under the Sea". I know every few years a Version of Jule Verne's famous novel appears on TV, but I like the shape of the Nautilus from the Disney-movie.

I would like some remakes of old 80/90 cartoons like the recent Thundercats 2011.

Bionic Six
Bravestarr
Silverhawks
Galaxy Rangers
Saber Rider (or just the original japanese cut localized)
Just to name a few.

FTeik wrote:I wouldn't mind a Remake of "The Six-Million Dollar Man"

There was a Remake of "The Bionic Woman" in 2007. It was cancelled after 8 episodes.

For a TV show? Sliders.

Not much needs to be changed from it's original concept, keep the core four, Quinn, Wade, Arturo and Rembrandt. Genius makes a device, tests it, and the four of them become wanderers/tourists in the multi-verse, experiencing alternate universes and timelines. Drop the Kromaggs, no one liked them, and they ruined the tone of the show. Considering how much has changed since the 1990s, show what a Gore wins world would look like, one where there was a nuclear war, one where McCain won, where Japan's business bubble never burst, etc.

Show worlds where things went a lot worse. Show worlds where things went a lot better. Include more discussions about whether they should stay or they should go. Most importantly though, have the quartet become a family. It was what kept the show great, and sacrificing it for Tits Mcgee, I mean Maggie, ruined the show.

Maybe give the show a recurring villain, but only if absolutely necessary.

--------------------------------

As for a film? Lost Horizon.

In the spirit of King Kong, this film should be made a third time, it has once, in the 1930s, once in the 1970s, and now it's time to see it portrayed again in the 21st century. Show different types of people, a reluctant war hero, a reporter, a failed entrepreneur, and an eager young man all get taken to Shangri-la. An adventure story slowly becomes a debate on whether it's better to live for centuries in one place, or one lifetime and get to experience the world. Then have them deal with the ethical conundrum of trying to keep their paradise hidden in the age of GPS and jet airplanes.

Universal Soldier, another Van Damme thing.

I've had this great idea for awhile now to make a dark and edgy reboot of Free Willy.

It would start off with Willy brutally murdering a pod of dolphins so as to establish his badass credentials. But then it would turn out that the dolphins were actually rapists, thereby introducing moral ambiguity. Once that's done we'd have the first of many inner monologues where Willy reflects on murder and blood and how much he loves killing things. Willy's inner monologue would be narrated by Michael C Hall.

After introducing Willy as a total badass he would be captured and thrown away to rot in the bowels of Seaworld, where he has to fight through challenge after brutal gladiatorial challenge to survive. It begins on his first night when a reception committee of seals break into Willy's pool to initiate him into life at Seaworld. Obviously Willy isn't going to take that sort of crap, in his butt or otherwise, so it leads to a huge running battle where Willy kills over a dozen seals. Both actual seals and retired Navy SEALs, because as everyone knows once a SEAL always a seal.

Anyway, Willy wins the fight and he's floating triumphant amid the dead seals' shredded remains, but he was wounded enough that he's taken to the infirmary. That's where we introduce the hot female lead for the movie, Willy's love interest and head veterinarian. The hot female doctor, already guilt-ridden over her role in enabling Seaworld's brutal policies, falls for Willy and his dark, murderous charisma. This leads to a escalating series of events that blows the truth about Seaworld wide open and ends with Willy blowing the place apart and swimming victoriously out to sea with the hot female doctor perched on his nose.

I call it Catch Willy: And Make Him Do Tricks

tezunegari wrote:I would like some remakes of old 80/90 cartoons like the recent Thundercats 2011.

Bionic Six
Bravestarr
Silverhawks
Galaxy Rangers
Saber Rider (or just the original japanese cut localized)
Just to name a few.

FTeik wrote:I wouldn't mind a Remake of "The Six-Million Dollar Man"

There was a Remake of "The Bionic Woman" in 2007. It was cancelled after 8 episodes.

Oh, speaking of '90s cartoons...

Gargoyles.

General Zod wrote:I'd like to see a remake of TimeTrax with good acting. But Continuum is kind of a spiritual successor.

When I read the first half of your post, I was planning to snarkily reply "They made that. It was called Continuum."

Anyone else remember a series from the late 90s called Space Precinct? Probably not, I don't think it aired in that many countries.

Anyway, the basic premise is a cyberpunk police procedural, in a setting that draws loads of inspiration from Neuromancer and Blade Runner. Lots of neon, flying cars, urban decay... Very 80s despite being made in 1995. Oh, and have I mentioned this is a Gerry Anderson show, with all the awesome visual effects that implies? It should be impossible to screw that up, but unfortunately the writing did not live up to the premise. Most episodes had a plot you've seen a hundred times before in cop shows literally Recycled In Space, most of the characters were stock archetypes; they even managed to have one character who was the most cliched, by-the-numbers example of Stereotypical Irish Cop I've ever seen outside of a parody despite his being a fucking alien. The less said about the episode with a race of Yiddish-accented aliens who most of the rest of the planet was racist against the better...

And yet it had the occasional moment of real quality. As noted, the visual effects were nearly always really good. The main characters were well-drawn; they changed up the usual buddy-cop formula a bit by making the older, more experienced cop be the one most likely to start shaking a suspect by the lapels if they were giving him the runaround, and wife and kids were proper characters in their own right instead of a cheap source of conflict.

And above all, despite being set in the kind of cyberpunk-with-neon dystopia where being murdered over three megabytes of hot RAM was a real possibility, the cops were always portrayed as competent and honest. They never had an episode about fabricating evidence because they just know this guy's guilty but they can't prove it, nobody ever roughed up a suspect in interrogation no matter how supposedly urgent it was, the one episode where Internal Affairs showed up they weren't portrayed as the bad guys... Basically, everything Thanas hates about modern crime thrillers, this show wasn't.

I would love to see a reboot with better writing that uses the setting properly; do a plot about hacked driverless cars being used as drug mules, or some script kiddie with an augmented-reality headset using it to rob banks, that sort of thing. A bigger casting budget would be good as well; the original series had the titular 'precinct' manned by six beat cops, the captain and a sergeant. (Which would handily explain why Demeter City is such a shithole, admittedly.) If that means going all-CGI instead of miniature effects then so be it, it's not like the original creators haven't successfully branched out into that.

Zaune wrote:Anyone else remember a series from the late 90s called Space Precinct? Probably not, I don't think it aired in that many countries.

I recall the show, although in my memory it wasn't as cyberpunk as you've described, but then it was a long time ago now.

You could do so much with Slider if you expanded outside the main protagonists. Well any of the Sci-Fi shows really, imagine watching a show in the TOS era but featuring any of the other races.

Disney's Ducktales 2017



And I need brainbleach...

Man. The voices of the nephews just kills it.

Babylon 5: More or less straight remake, making use of more modern CGI, makeup, etc. Go full bore on the original plan, Earth Civil War leads into the Shadow War, B5 is sacrificed in the finale with B4 appearing to win the day before whisking Sinclair/Valen to the past.

Space Above & Beyond: Ditch the silliness of pilots who ground pound, ditch the corporate conspiracy angle, Band of Brothers/The Pacific in Space! Another change would be that the world isn't all cozy cuddly, the UN is desperately trying to balance and manage a couple different power blocs (hint that if the Chigs didn't invade when they did...war between the Earth blocs....Hell use the initial mystery of colony disasters as filling that powder keg.)

Dark Angel: Ditch the freak show that was Season 2, ancient cults and useless mutants...just no...never happened. The original setting is fine, could have explored the angle of foreign governments trying to get their hands on X5 data/DNA/specimens more.

Space Precinct? Man, I have very vague memories of that as a kid, but I am a major Gerry Anderson fan which explains it.

In that vein, Space: 1999. Yeah, it was camp and weird and the second season was cheesy, but hell, the effects were gorgeous and the cast really sold it. Remake that with better writing and modern CGI (but don't change the designs, because fuck it Eagles are awesome) and I would watch the hell out of it. You would need a very solid lead for Commander Koenig though.

Would also appreciate a live-action Captain Scarlet remake, that would be cool.

A live-action version of 'Vampire Hunter D' would be nice. Questions from those who read Kikuchi Hideyuki's original novel, AND saw the 1985 anime adaptation: Which version do you prefer?

Oh, I could do this for days.

FedRebel wrote:Dark Angel: Ditch the freak show that was Season 2, ancient cults and useless mutants...just no...never happened. The original setting is fine, could have explored the angle of foreign governments trying to get their hands on X5 data/DNA/specimens more.

Beat me to the punch. I'd like to see further exploration of America as a broken 3rd world country (since that's so hard to imagine now). Keep every 3rd episode a long-arc thriller about an endless nesting doll set of ominous-sounding conspiracies ("The Committee", "Unit Green", "The Cleaning Crew", etc.). Have the rest be single-episode adventures about our heroes recovering great American artifacts being lost or pawned to foreign collectors. Toss in some sitcom romance mishaps ("Oh no, it's our first date but I can't get a reservation at her favorite restaurant") with a coat of action cyberpunk ("And if I reschedule, I'll lose all the proof that the mayor is an android!").

As for other shows:

Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?

There were about six Carmen Sandiego shows. I'm pretty sure they disappeared around the turn of the millennium, but I'm not going to look up which one was most recent. This one ended in 1999, and I'm going with it.

The series has a solid track record for theme songs (the best being Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego, but Where on Earth is also great). Find a good composer and write another one.

As for changes, aim the show at high schoolers, and add some weight to the stakes - not gritty, but at least textured. We have a thief so resourceful that she can nap major artifacts, monuments, cosmic bodies (eg, the rings of Saturn), and even intangible concepts (eg, the alphabet). The difference is that this Carmen takes jobs from interested parties looking to rewrite the present 1984-style.

"Oh no, gumshoes! Carmen's crew of crooks has been hired by the North Koreans to steal the 38th Parallel line of latitude and switch it with the 37th Parallel."

"But Chief, the 38th Parallel is the approximate site of the Korean Demilitarized Zone which has separated North Korea and South Korea since the end of the Korean War in 1953. It's the most heavily guarded border on Earth! If Carmen can move the border just one degree of latitude south, North Korea will swallow up South Korea's capital, Seoul without firing a shot!"

"Gasp! Then where will I get my favorite Seoul food?"

As for others:

The Pretender
Dark Justice
Firefly
The Young Adventurers of Indiana Jones
Forest Gump
Animorphs
Fraiser
The Rifleman
Face/Off
Green Acres
The Beverly Hillbillies
Rear Window


Honorable Mention: The Matrix, whose franchise will fit the rules of this exercise in 2018.


(I hate that this forum has a time limit on post edits, so I'll have to expend in another if I get around to it)

The Forest Gump remake sounds interesting.

Given how much of its story depends on the times in which it is set, I'm curious as to weather you'd update it to the present or shoot it as a period piece.

The Rifleman's an interesting one as well- not a lot of westerns these days.

Firefly, sadly, strikes me as almost un-remakeable for at least a generation, as its die-hard fan base would likely largely refuse to accept a different cast or writers (and using the exact same cast is impossible, sadly, now that the actor who played Book has passed on).

Oh! Forgot the most important one. Absolute top of my list:

Jack of All Trades

Bruce Campbell is a Revolutionary War hero and spy and chronic ladies man who is caught sleeping with Thomas Jefferson's niece. The war's over, so he's sent to a small island in the Pacific (?) where he teams up with a British lady spy (?!) to foil the imperialist schemes of Napoleon Bonaparte (?!??!) which he accomplishes by running around as a masked vigilante. It's a tropical steampunk comedy.

I have no clue how I'd improve it. I'd say a vat-clone another young Bruce Campbell, but the guy's aged well; I'd let him do the part again today. Frankly, I just want more of it.