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www.Langa.com LangaList wrote:Fred, Here's something that is in parallel with your recent
anti-spam comments. Cordially, Ken Thomson

I suppose some degree of commerce would grind to a halt if
telephone solicitors weren't able to call people at home
during dinner hour, but that doesn't make it any more
pleasant. Now Steve Rubenstein, a writer for the San Francisco
Chronicle, has proposed Three Little Words, based on his brief
experience in a telemarketing operation that would stop the
nuisance for all time. The three little words are Hold On,
Please...

Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off
instead of hanging up immediately would make each
telemarketing call so time-consuming that boiler rooms would
grind to a halt. When you eventually hear the phone company's
beep-beep-beep tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up
your handset, which has efficiently completed its task....

Three little words that eliminate telephone soliciting!

Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the
other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine
makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person
answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the
best time of day for a real salesperson to call back and get
someone at home. What you can do after answering, if you
notice there is no one there, immediately start hitting your #
button on the phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible.

This confuses the machine-dialed call and it kicks your number
out of their system. Since doing this, our phone calls have
decreased dramatically.

Lord_Xerxes wrote:It's much more fun to fuck with them. Like I've stated several times before, get the Ultimate Anwuld soundboard and make their lives a living hell. Plus, you get laughs out of it too. Far more enjoyable.

JediNeophyte wrote:I prefer to spout random gibberish. Screws with their minds

"Excuse me sir, would you be interested in using our new long distance plan -"
"But wait, if an elephant is 3 yards east of the green tool shed, how can the diesel train possibly be moving backwards at a rate of 34 miles per hour!?"

>Phone rings ........
>
>Me: Hello
>
>AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T,,,
>
>Me: Is this AT&T?
>
>AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T,.
>
>Me: This is AT&T?
>
>AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
>
>Me: Is this AT&T?
>
>AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr.
>Byron please?
>
>Me: May I ask who is calling?
>
>AT&T: This is AT&T.
>
>Me: OK, hold on. At this point I put the phone
>down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver they were still waiting.
>
>Me: Hello?
>
>AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
>
>Me: May I ask who is calling please?
>
>AT&T: Yes this is AT&T,,.
>
>Me: Is this AT&T?
>
>AT&T: Yes this is AT&T,,.
>
>Me: The phone company?
>
>AT&T: Yes sir.
>
>Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
>
>AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
>
>Me: I already have a phone.
>
>AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.
>
>We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
>
>Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a
>day?
>
>AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes Sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
>
>Me: 7 days a week?
>
>AT&T: That's right.
>
>Me: 365 days a year?
>
>AT&T: Yes sir.
>
>Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!!
>>That's amazing!
>
>AT&T: We think so!
>
>Me: That's quite a sum of money!
>
>A&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
>
>Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly,
>monthly, or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560 and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
>
>AT&T: Excuse me?
>
>Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
>
>AT&T: What are you talking about?
>
>Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1,008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
>
>AT&T: Oh, no Sir, I didn't mean we'd be paying
>>you. You pay US 10 cents a minute.
>
>Me: Wait a minute, how do you figure that by
>saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
>
>AT&T: No Sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for...
>
>Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a
>supervisor please!
>
>AT&T: Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
>
>Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor':
>
>AT&T: Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
>
>At this point I begin trying to finish my dinner.
>
>Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
>
>Me: Yea?
>
>Supervisor: I understand you are not quite>
>understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
>
>Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
>
>Supervisor: Yes, Sir, it sure is.
>
>I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.
>
>Me: No, actually, I was just waiting for
>someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
>
>Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you
>back to the person who was helping you.
>
>Me: Thank you.
>
>I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls.