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I've been going out with a girl for about a month or so, and I think I'm in love, does anyone have any insights to this issue?

Rule #1: Love is confusing.

When you see her, as a person, and can see all th good, and bad, and still want her anyay.
When you are in the "She's PERFECT" phase, it is still infatuation.

Crude joke.
Love is when you blow a monser load inside her, are completely satisied, yet don't want her to leave.

oh, trust me, you'll know.

I guess I should elaborate some more.

You usually go through several phases in love. The first is infatuation, which isn't really love but seems like it at the time. A warm and fuzzy feeling is often associated with that. Infatuation also tends to be a bit selfish; that is, you're often thinking about what's pleasing to you.

In the second phase, I guess you could call it, you start putting the other person ahead of you. You'd put yourself into harm's way so that the other person isn't harmed. And, as Chrostas remarked, you can see the good and bad sides of that person clearly, but nonetheless you wouldn't want to leave that person for any reason.

You haven't experienced love until you've reached the second phase. But a lot of people can't stand it--remember the old adage, love hurts? With love, you can accept the pain. With infatuation, you can't.

So I guess that about covers it. If anyone who's married wants to step in and correct me, they're free to.

How I know I'm madly in love -
Shes the last thing I think about before I slip off to sleep

Wake up every morning with her on my mind

I worry when shes ten mins late from the grocery store...

When she works nights , I don't sleep well

Just a whif of her favorite perfume can turn the worst shit burger of a day into paradise

I live for her smiles, and her laugh is the sweetest music on earth

I'd kill to protect her and conversely, die for her, without thought or regret.

She accepts me for me, faults(of which I have many ...) and all and still loves me, and I accept all of her faults(Of which she has many ...) and I still love her.

Its diffrent for everybody, but when it happens you know.

Emperor Chrostas the Crue wrote:When you see her, as a person, and can see all th good, and bad, and still want her anyay.
When you are in the "She's PERFECT" phase, it is still infatuation.

True that. I still haven't gotten over that phase though, and it's been a year since I last talked...

For your own good, just try to forget about her.

My, plutonium seems to have some bad experiences with girls...

Crushes hurt too. Last year, I subbed in for a flame of mine at basketball.....and nearly had a heart attack(I was, and probably still am, pretty out of shape). Would that count as love, or just another variation of infatuation?

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:

Pu-239 wrote:For your own good, just try to forget about her.

Who? The guy who started this thread? Isn't he still going out with her?

He may think he's talking to the person who started this thread (who is dating the lady in question), but Pu's really talking to himself. He tends to get tunnel-vision when talking about love, and can't see past his own negative experiences.

Love? Damn and hell if I know.

Most people just assume they are. A psychologist friend of mine helpfully says that many people who believe they are in love actually aren't (transference, in some cases), and other people who deny vehemently that they are in love actually are.

And then there's your fine line between love, infatuation, obssession, hate, etc. and etc. on into the vastly detailed grayscale world of human emotions. Thank whoever that I'm not a psychologist.

You never know your in love until you hear the soft click of that mine arming under your foot.

Lagmonster wrote:Love? Damn and hell if I know.

Most people just assume they are. A psychologist friend of mine helpfully says that many people who believe they are in love actually aren't (transference, in some cases), and other people who deny vehemently that they are in love actually are.

And then there's your fine line between love, infatuation, obssession, hate, etc. and etc. on into the vastly detailed grayscale world of human emotions. Thank whoever that I'm not a psychologist.

That basically sums up the grim reality of things. I suppose when you start putting the other persons needs ahead of yours is a pretty good indicator of a starting love (pending on the person, some people are just nice or odd that way to put others ahead of themselves). Another good indicator is if you really have to question whether what your feeling is love or infatuation. If you think about it and have to question it, then its probably not love.

It's one of them things you can't describe, yiu just know it. Its a warm feeling in your stomach when you think of him or her, it's that way a few bars of a song can make you smile because that's your song etc. In the long run it's a passing feeling and will eventually wear off. It can be a chemical reaction in your body best replaced with masses of chocolate. Eventually it's a feeling that will cause binge drinking and flirtations with a sexes you never usually go for.

Love is caring about someone else's welfare ahead of your own. In that sense, one could very well say that a father loves his children or for that matter, a soldier may even love his squadmates more than 99% of romantic teenaged couples, no matter how much they may think they're in love.

The difference between romantic love and platonic love is that romantic love adds sexuality and possessiveness to it, but the underlying feeling should still be the same. A couple which has one or the other elements but not both is headed nowhere.

If you have to ask, you're not.

RedImperator wrote:If you have to ask, you're not.

correct!

Love starts off as an uncomfortable pressure in the chest, followed by pain in the arms and shortness of breath. Dizziness or nausea is also common. Consult your doctor if these symptoms continue.

I think the word you're looking for is 'infatuated'

Gandalf wrote:I've been going out with a girl for about a month or so, and I think I'm in love, does anyone have any insights to this issue?

Don't worry. We can cure that now.

Enforcer Talen wrote:oh, trust me, you'll know.

This is honestly about as close an explanation as you can get. Some people describe it as feeling butterflies every time they think about the other person (like myself), while others experience a loack of sleep or appetite because they want to be with the other person to do that with. [shrugs] Truth be told, though, you'll know.

Zaia wrote:

GrandAdmiralPrawn wrote:

Pu-239 wrote:For your own good, just try to forget about her.

Who? The guy who started this thread? Isn't he still going out with her?

He may think he's talking to the person who started this thread (who is dating the lady in question), but Pu's really talking to himself. He tends to get tunnel-vision when talking about love, and can't see past his own negative experiences.

Love the new Avatar, Zaia, though I can't quite figure out why esp. this one.

Sorry...hijack.

Illuminatus Primus wrote:Love the new Avatar, Zaia, though I can't quite figure out why esp. this one.

Sorry...hijack.

Thanks, I found it thanks to Shinova. I thought with all this crazy weather, I'd start celebrating the sunny weather that will eventually arrive...


So, are you in love with my new avatar or merely infatuated with her?

Darth Wong wrote:Love is caring about someone else's welfare ahead of your own. In that sense, one could very well say that a father loves his children or for that matter, a soldier may even love his squadmates more than 99% of romantic teenaged couples, no matter how much they may think they're in love.

The difference between romantic love and platonic love is that romantic love adds sexuality and possessiveness to it, but the underlying feeling should still be the same. A couple which has one or the other elements but not both is headed nowhere.

True, although I'd mantain that popular usage has changed over time (if that was ever what people thought love meant).

Love. Hmmm..... what is love? Hmmm.....



The two of you get into an argument so nasty that the two of you are almost literally at each other's throats. You each get totally fed up with the other and separate, going off to your respective homes or similar residences and staying there for the night, away from the other.

And then you suddenly really miss that other person and really want to see him/her again.

That's love.





Note: I am not speaking from experience.