StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Okay, I'm almost sure I'm not the only one here who would mangle/destroy his toys in bizarre and even cool ways when he was a kid.

So, name the toy, the method of destruction and the results.

Power Ranger toys from McDonalds, 1. Signal Flares, 2. Two bottle rockets, one went off before the other one, cleared the bottle, stalled, other one went off, shot underneath the nieghbors car.

Barney stuff doll I found on a field. Cruisfied it, stuck in a camp fire. Wasn't burning fast enough, so we filled a Dr. Pepper bottle up with 7 parts gasoline to 1 part lawnmower oil and toss it in the fire, never saw the purple bastard again.

Nopers, nothing.

EDIT: Wait a minute! What am I talking about! Of course! I recently rummaged through my Star Wars figures and found the Worf figure that I never wanted. I got it for a birthday present years ago, and just left it in there. So I made him die without honor and shot him up with my air rifle.

It was my duty, as an older brother, to destroy my sister's beanie babies.

I parachuted GI Joe figuers off the CN Tower, without the parachute. It's a ~1200' drop to the concrete at the bottom and I never did find the pieces that were left. Eventually they got smart and put a steel mesh thing over the bars so you can't drop stuff off the tower anymore.

A cheap plastic GI Joe, and a campfire. He became captain toasty. Amazingly, he survived. His other squadmates however, weren't much more luckly than to get melted into a foul-smelling, noxious cloud of bubling plastic.

I would build Lego planes, then "crash them into the sea" by hurling them down the stairs so I could investigate the debris field with my Lego submersible.
Always, at some point, that submersible would implode, so I could build another submersible and go and check out the wreckage from the first one. It's sad, but hell, we were all sad at that age, to a certain degree.

The ingredients:

4 (four) G.I. Joe figures of the 1980s variety.
1 (one) Cobra Jeep.
1 (one) Whistling Pete firecracker.
Duct Tape
Hammer
Dad's Zippo fluid
Steep hill


Prepare the Whistling Pete by wrapping it with duct tape, then pounding it flat with hammer. Wrap with duct tape, pound with hammer. Repeat these steps until item can no longer be pounded flat. Remove top of Cobra Jeep, douse with Dad's Zippo Fluid, re-mount on vehicle. Insert 2 figures into vehicle seats. Place 2 figures in back of vehicle, holding their guns. Duct tape modified firecracker to hood of vehicle. Place vehicle at top of steep hill. Light firecracker, nudge vehicle downhill. Run backward.

It was amazing. The thing went up in an almost literal ball of flame -- the main mass, that is. The forward momentum the thing had gained when the Pete went off was totally cancelled, and yet the placement of the firecracker was such that it forced it down more than it could propel it backward.

I saved the wreckage (and the "corpses") for years. I wish I'd had a camcorder.

By the way, a friend and I did the same thing to his cousin's Barbie Van. With Barbie in it. That was even better.

We had a foot-tall Hulk Hogan figure. Put him into a coffee can, aka the Pit of Fire, with about a dozen Jumping Jacks. Poor Hulkster turned runny.

Another time we lit up a GI Joe named Crazylegs and melted his face off.

Then there were all the lego planes we built, then subsequently crashed into the living room wall. We found pieces of minifig everywhere, and a 3 by 2 got lodged in the ceiling!

Ah, murder in effigy! Satisfying! Stimulating! Hilarious!

RadiO wrote:I would build Lego planes, then "crash them into the sea" by hurling them down the stairs so I could investigate the debris field with my Lego submersible.
Always, at some point, that submersible would implode, so I could build another submersible and go and check out the wreckage from the first one. It's sad, but hell, we were all sad at that age, to a certain degree.

Me and my bro did that too.

It was even worse when we got a puppy Labrador who developed a taste for Lego.

Admiral Valdemar wrote:

RadiO wrote:I would build Lego planes, then "crash them into the sea" by hurling them down the stairs so I could investigate the debris field with my Lego submersible.
Always, at some point, that submersible would implode, so I could build another submersible and go and check out the wreckage from the first one. It's sad, but hell, we were all sad at that age, to a certain degree.

Me and my bro did that too.

It was even worse when we got a puppy Labrador who developed a taste for Lego.

And i guess there was lego bricks in the dogs poop.

And for the hardcore anti-Trek kiddies, there was the time when a friend and I deliberately constructed an ERTL Enterprise-D kit for the sole purpose of taping black-cats around the perimeters of the primary and secondary hulls, rigging it up to a steel beam and then torching it with a lighter and a can of hair spray. Turned out pretty good.

2 words: Lego BASEBALL!!!!

We'd build Star Trek ships, and then throw them up in the air, then take a couple swings with the bat. When we got a hit, Lego shrapnel would fly everywhere!!! Let's just say when we moved out of the apartment three years later, I found a shitload of Legos...

My brother and I fed our sister's Barney dolls to the dog. We were evil bastards.

Stormbringer wrote:My brother and I fed our sister's Barney dolls to the dog. We were evil bastards.

You were not evil bastards i would have done the same,my dog like ripping plush toys aparts.

NERF airplanes and sparklers.

If done right you could throw them through the air while sparkling. My step-cousin pushed some in too far and the front of his plane caught fire. It was stil usable but the nose was melted back to the weights.

I remember shooting an Airfix Gneisenau kit with a .22 rifle.

In my bedroom.

Tonka Truck, buried it in my sand box, forgot about it, found it 10 years later while excavating for my parents new house(on the same property).......

I remember that a friend and I used to get packets of the plastic toy soldiers for like 2 bucks for 50, then we'd split them up between us.

Create some terrain, then each person would set up their "army".

Then you'd take turns getting a shot with an air rifle from your side of the terrain.

Last army standing wins.

You'd be amazed what you can accomplish with a magnifying glass and an Ertl model Lambourghini Diablo. I was the operator of a top secret military laser satellite who for some reason had it out for Lambourghinis.

Why would you do such things to your toys?

You people are sick freaks.

Or is that the "American mentality" or some such which we foreigners can't understand?

I'm confused now.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

fgalkin wrote:You people are sick freaks.

Welcome to SDnet!

Dalton wrote:

fgalkin wrote:You people are sick freaks.

Welcome to SDnet!

Thank you. You're not going to poke me, are you?

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

fgalkin wrote:Why would you do such things to your toys?

You people are sick freaks.

Or is that the "American mentality" or some such which we foreigners can't understand?

I'm confused now.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

As a kid in Russia you didn't do random destructive shit ? its just plain fun I guess, as a teen we'd blow up models, stage Army men fights using Black Cat firecrackers as 'artillery' in a variant off the air-rifle Army Men game. Shit, a group of about twenty of us had BB-gun wars(yes shooting each other with BB's ah the crapriciousness of youth...) on a regular basis(We all wore safety goggles , we were crazy fuckers, but not stupid), I probably still have one of the bastards in my ass.....