Loved and Lost vs. Never Having Loved At All

Durandal · Post by **Durandal** » 2003-04-09 01:27am

Well? I'm up in the air about the issue. Keep in mind that they're two mutually exclusive concepts, but we can still flail about in ignorance about the situation.

EDIT: To clarify, I'm talking about the situation of being in love, meaning that this person loved you back, not you falling in love with someone only to not have him or her reciprocate. Obviously that's a less desirable situation because you gain nothing but pain and rejection. I guess the real question is whether or not being in love is worth the pain and potential for hurt that inevitably comes with it.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-04-09 01:28am

I'm still in the Never category, but to have gotten burned is better than being hollow, if you know what I mean.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-09 01:28am

I'll take having loved and lost...mostly because those were some of the best times in my life.

Now I feel like crap...

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2003-04-09 01:32am

The sheer exhilaration of chasing and courting and learning to know a woman is the highlight of life. Even if you can't stay on forever, it's still better to ride the rollercoaster than sit at ground level and listen to everyone else howling.

Frank Hipper · Post by **Frank Hipper** » 2003-04-09 01:51am

I too feel like crap Ghost Rider. Thanks Durandal, and a hearty thanks to Darth Wong for smearing my nose in a loveless life so effectively.

Kidding of course, but only half-assed kidding.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-04-09 01:54am

To love and lose it.

Love is something special. It makes you feel more. Things are more vivid and you experience life to the extreme. You can say that to love is to live. Even if you lose it, the fact that you can have love, makes a person something more than anybody that never does.

And it can get you laid a lot.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-04-09 02:03am

It is an enlightening experience to love someone besides yourself, to put anothers needs and wants ahead of your own or to make their needs and wants yours. If anything it is a different perspective plus it gives you the satisfaction of fulfilling a basic biological need with frequency.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-04-09 02:06am

Speaking from a personal experience of the worst type, YES it is better to have loved and lost. Even when the pain of losing Amanda catches up with me, I can still reflect on all the good times we had together, and I'll be dammed if I ever trade that for never knowing her and never losing her.

Shinova · Post by **Shinova** » 2003-04-09 02:18am

At the present moment, I go with never loved at all.

Don't ask.

Spanky The Dolphin · Post by **Spanky The Dolphin** » 2003-04-09 02:20am

That has me interested, none the less...

EDIT: Then again, knowing you, Shinova, nevermind.

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-04-09 02:44am

I was pondering that question few days ago. loved and lost, definitly. happiest time in my life - I would be quite different without it.

EmperorMing · Post by **EmperorMing** » 2003-04-09 03:37am

Darth Wong wrote:The sheer exhilaration of chasing and courting and learning to know a woman is the highlight of life. Even if you can't stay on forever, it's still better to ride the rollercoaster than sit at ground level and listen to everyone else howling.

I'll agree with this one.

Post by **Edi** » 2003-04-09 03:50am

Mike said it all.

Edi

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-04-09 03:59am

I'm one of those people that believe 'Life without pain has no meaning'. I would much rather have enjoyed the heat and passion of being in love than avoided it out of fear.

But then, I've not lost him...

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-04-09 06:31am

I think that having loved and lost is an integral part of life. I don't see how someone can go through life without having loved before. In addition, I have loved before and had that person love back. And losing him was really hard on me (and still is, because I still think about him now and then).

To not have loved, I think, is to miss out on one of the greatest and most passionate parts of life. To have loved and lost is to know what it is to care about someone truly and deeply, to the fullest extent of life, and to know pain to the same degree. It is something that nearly everyone, I think, feels ~ both sides of the coin.

Love, in my experience, is something that can envelop you in all forms. Love is something that means so much to you that you can't let it go. It's almost addicting ~ it's almost like you can't get enough of it. But it ends, as all things do, even if it doesn't end 100%. I find that if you ever truly loved someone, you're never going to 100% fall out of love with them; they'll always hold a place in your heart. So in a sense, you never really completely lose it. [shrugs and sighs]

Post by **Colonel Olrik** » 2003-04-09 07:35am

It feels like your brains imploding.

But being alone hurts more.

Getting laid is easy, finding love is not. And it is what I miss more.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-04-09 07:40am

Colonel Olrik wrote:It feels like your brains imploding.

But being alone hurts more.

Getting laid is easy, finding love is not. And it is what I miss more.

And this would be the difference between love and lust. Love is something that you look for in someone that you can hold forever. Lust is something that you look for in someone for a single night or less.

XPViking · Post by **XPViking** » 2003-04-09 07:44am

Always better to have loved and lost. Take it from a guy who was this close long ago to getting hitched only to have it all fall apart. Made me stronger.

XPViking

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-04-09 07:47am

I'd rather have the experience of being loved and lose that over never having known love at all.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-04-09 08:44am

Love and lost without question

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-04-09 10:51am

I'd say loved and lost....even though it fucked me up for a long while.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2003-04-09 11:35am

Loved and lost without question.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-04-09 12:11pm

"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Just to experience the pure exhiliration of loving someone and having them love you as well is worth the experience. And innerbrat is right. Pain is a part of life. Both are necessary parts of life.

Darth Servo · Post by **Darth Servo** » 2003-04-09 03:23pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:"It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

Just to experience the pure exhiliration of loving someone and having them love you as well is worth the experience. And innerbrat is right. Pain is a part of life. Both are necessary parts of life.

Question: in the original quote, did the object of affection return it? From my own experience, nothing sucks more than unrequited love.

Rye · Post by **Rye** » 2003-04-09 03:32pm

Hmm, depends if you'd be depressed for not being in love ever, if it's a "ignorance is bliss" situation, nothing wrong with it, if you have no self worth because noone ever loved you, no point to anything.

Loved and lost can suck also. But the loved part should make up the difference, depends if the first situation means no romantic interest both ways, or that you get rejected loads.