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Worst technobabble ever?
Posted: 2003-04-10 07:00am
by Faram
[url=http://www.trendax.com/htmlindex.html]Fat Fuck AKA Kimble wrote:[/url]
Trendax is an automated trading system operating simultaneously on multiple markets. Its AI-based decision system selects the optimal combination of trading strategies for current market conditions. Trendax specializes in the all major future markets: stocks, bonds, currencies and commodities. Although mainly focused on future markets, Trendax also operates on other markets for optimization and hedging purposes.
Trendax is able to improve itself by continuously back-testing multiple scenarios and varying the strategy parameters. Trendax uses a complex combination of sophisticated technical analysis, real-time content analysis of news feeds, multi-dimensional statistical analysis and advanced proprietary mathematical techniques. Its sophisticated trade management, thus limiting the downside risk while maximizing profits. Trendax is a fault-tolerant distributed system with multiple nodes located in strategic locations all over the world, ensuring that all trades are successfully executed even in the event of any failure in the system
I think my brain just melted
Posted: 2003-04-10 07:16am
by Boba Fett
Sounds like an advert for a software.
Tells a lot but you can't get any info on how it works really.
Posted: 2003-04-10 07:53am
by Hamel
How many buzzwords can you fit in a paragraph
Let's find out
Posted: 2003-04-10 08:30am
by Peregrin Toker
Not really technobabble per se, but what about the movie "Galaxy Quest" where a wormhole was called a "black hole??"
That's quite an offender.
Posted: 2003-04-10 08:38am
by Warspite
Not really, since most is mathemathical and statistical talk. Technobabble tends to confuse the reader with meaningless unrelated terms that hide the real, useless, meaning.
Nah, I've seen worse...
Posted: 2003-04-10 08:42am
by paladin
Hamel wrote:How many buzzwords can you fit in a paragraph
Let's find out
Using all those "buzzwords," marketing must have worked overtime.
Posted: 2003-04-10 08:58am
by Peregrin Toker
And what about the dialogue in Vampire Men Of The Lost Planet?
Posted: 2003-04-10 10:06am
by RedImperator
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Not really technobabble per se, but what about the movie "Galaxy Quest" where a wormhole was called a "black hole??"
That's quite an offender.
It was a Tim Allen movie. What did you expect--did you think they had Stephen Hawking as their technical advisor or something?
Posted: 2003-04-10 10:59am
by Peregrin Toker
RedImperator wrote:Simon H.Johansen wrote:Not really technobabble per se, but what about the movie "Galaxy Quest" where a wormhole was called a "black hole??"
That's quite an offender.
It was a Tim Allen movie. What did you expect--did you think they had Stephen Hawking as their technical advisor or something?
Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.
Posted: 2003-04-10 11:04am
by Stravo
Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.
To whom is that common knowledge, sci fi geeks like you and me?
I'm willing to bet that your average Joe on the street doesn't even know what a wormhole is.
Re: Worst technobabble ever?
Posted: 2003-04-10 11:42am
by Xon
Faram wrote:[url=http://www.trendax.com/htmlindex.html]Fat Fuck AKA Kimble wrote:[/url]
Trendax is an automated trading system operating simultaneously on multiple markets. Its AI-based decision system selects the optimal combination of trading strategies for current market conditions. Trendax specializes in the all major future markets: stocks, bonds, currencies and commodities. Although mainly focused on future markets, Trendax also operates on other markets for optimization and hedging purposes.
Trendax is able to improve itself by continuously back-testing multiple scenarios and varying the strategy parameters. Trendax uses a complex combination of sophisticated technical analysis, real-time content analysis of news feeds, multi-dimensional statistical analysis and advanced proprietary mathematical techniques. Its sophisticated trade management, thus limiting the downside risk while maximizing profits. Trendax is a fault-tolerant distributed system with multiple nodes located in strategic locations all over the world, ensuring that all trades are successfully executed even in the event of any failure in the system
I think my brain just melted
That isnt technobabble, makes perfect sense(Skim reading it isnt a good idea). A few of the claims are a bit stupid, but good marketting moves
As far as computer jargon filled text goes, that is nothing.
Posted: 2003-04-10 12:44pm
by neoolong
Stravo wrote:Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.
To whom is that common knowledge, sci fi geeks like you and me?
I'm willing to bet that your average Joe on the street doesn't even know what a wormhole is.
Unless he's a fisherman.
And it may be that I've watched too much Star Trek, but I think I actually understood what that thing said.
Posted: 2003-04-10 01:00pm
by Peregrin Toker
Stravo wrote:Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.
To whom is that common knowledge, sci fi geeks like you and me?
I'm willing to bet that your average Joe on the street doesn't even know what a wormhole is.
It's common knowledge to anyone who knows anything about astrophysics. At least here in Denmark.
Posted: 2003-04-10 07:07pm
by Exonerate
Simon H.Johansen wrote:Stravo wrote:Maybe the movie wasn't serious, but it's fairly common knowledge that black holes aren't the same as wormholes.
To whom is that common knowledge, sci fi geeks like you and me?
I'm willing to bet that your average Joe on the street doesn't even know what a wormhole is.
It's common knowledge to anyone who knows anything about astrophysics. At least here in Denmark.
I knew before the 5th grade...
Posted: 2003-04-10 07:50pm
by Raoul Duke, Jr.
I kind of figured it out at four years old, watching ST:TMP in the theater... at least the basic part that any Joe on the street would know -- it's a tunnel in space. (Which may or may not be correct, but that's probably what the average layperson would be able to tell you.)
Posted: 2003-04-10 07:59pm
by Larz
All you need to fix that paragraph is to switch the polarities of it...
Posted: 2003-04-10 08:22pm
by Shinova
Regarding Galaxy Quest:
Dude, people, it's a parody of Star Trek. Of course they would intentionally butcher terms, litter dialogue with technobabble (that whole deal with the beryllium sphere comes to mind), and use idiotic control system (that transporter thing), and whatnot.
Posted: 2003-04-10 09:23pm
by SyntaxVorlon
It is advertisement jargon. Jargon for both software users and stock brokers is mixed so neither will know what it means, and both are likely to buy the product.
BTW, Warsprite: S'Jet FOREVER!