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God Wars!!
Posted: 2003-04-11 11:41am
by Darth Gojira
Okay, say R(Q's evil, less annoying, fictional brother) decides to take out YHWH with ancient gods. He puts the Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Norse, and Greek gods in a big arena. It's a fight to the death. Who shall triumph? (Yes, I HAVE been playing too much AoM)
Re: God Wars!!
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:01pm
by Darth Wong
Darth Gojira wrote:Okay, say R(Q's evil, less annoying, fictional brother) decides to take out YHWH with ancient gods. He puts the Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Norse, and Greek gods in a big arena. It's a fight to the death. Who shall triumph? (Yes, I HAVE been playing too much AoM)
Greek gods win. They're the coolest.
Re: God Wars!!
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:02pm
by SirNitram
Darth Wong wrote:Darth Gojira wrote:Okay, say R(Q's evil, less annoying, fictional brother) decides to take out YHWH with ancient gods. He puts the Mesopotamian, Egyptian, Norse, and Greek gods in a big arena. It's a fight to the death. Who shall triumph? (Yes, I HAVE been playing too much AoM)
Greek gods win. They're the coolest.
Seconded. Then they have a big party, with Bacchus bringing the wine and Aphrodite bringing the women.
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:18pm
by Darth Gojira
Hhmmmmm.........That's it! You guys are right! No more Norse or Eggy for me! Its Greek civs all the way! Screw you Norse enthusiasts! You'll never take me a-(gets hacked to pieces by angry guys wearing horned hats[never mind the Vikings wear football helmets instead;)] and wielding axes the size of Sri Lanka)
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:26pm
by Companion Cube
Oh, I don't know. I bet the Egyptian Gods could take the Norse, and maybe the Greeks after...
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:27pm
by jegs2
What about the Valkyries -- weren't they the Viking gods who rode over the battlefield, picking out who would die? That sounds like a nifty job.
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:29pm
by Stravo
Norse gods are warriors through and through, and tough as nails. Fucking Odin pulled out his own eye just to get a little wisdom. I'd like to see Zeus pull a move like that if he can pull himself from his bestiality frolicks as he seduces women as some form of animal. Thor's hammer kills giants with a single blow, wimpy Hermes gets his front teeth knocked out by Mjolinir. C'mon, this is a slaughter. The Norse gods spent their entire lives preparing for a final battle that they knew they would lose.
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:34pm
by Darth Gojira
3rd Impact wrote:Oh, I don't know. I bet the Egyptian Gods could take the Norse, and maybe the Greeks after...
Poseidon will shove his trident so far up Amun-Ra's ass the sun will mice acroos form now on. I STILL think Zeus could nuke Osiris and fuck Isis to celebrate. He'll probably get a scorpion stinging his dick but Zeus has survived sex as a SWAN.
All in MHO.
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:41pm
by Darth Wong
Stravo wrote:Norse gods are warriors through and through, and tough as nails. Fucking Odin pulled out his own eye just to get a little wisdom. I'd like to see Zeus pull a move like that if he can pull himself from his bestiality frolicks as he seduces women as some form of animal. Thor's hammer kills giants with a single blow, wimpy Hermes gets his front teeth knocked out by Mjolinir. C'mon, this is a slaughter. The Norse gods spent their entire lives preparing for a final battle that they knew they would lose.
True, Ragnarok is some bad-ass shit.
On the other hand, the Greek gods may have more raw power; it's been a while since I studied mythology but didn't Ragnarok get started by a piece of mistletoe or something?
In any case, you have to like gods whose primary goal in life seems to be to fly down to Earth and fuck the hottest babes they can find.
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:44pm
by Joe
In any case, you have to like gods whose primary goal in life seems to be to fly down to Earth and fuck the hottest babes they can find.
Not when much of that fucking includes flat-out rape.
Posted: 2003-04-11 12:59pm
by Darth Gojira
Stravo wrote:Norse gods are warriors through and through, and tough as nails. Fucking Odin pulled out his own eye just to get a little wisdom. I'd like to see Zeus pull a move like that if he can pull himself from his bestiality frolicks as he seduces women as some form of animal. Thor's hammer kills giants with a single blow, wimpy Hermes gets his front teeth knocked out by Mjolinir. C'mon, this is a slaughter. The Norse gods spent their entire lives preparing for a final battle that they knew they would lose.
Ah but they DID lose, didn't they? Granted, after a kickass fight and they went out in a blast of MENTOSS Level-Coolness, but still.......
Posted: 2003-04-11 01:09pm
by Mark S
"My god is better than yours Conan, for my god is the sky and he is always above yours." Or something like that.
Posted: 2003-04-11 01:15pm
by Admiral Valdemar
From my 3 years doing Classics, I'd take the Greeks anyday (and to a lesser extent their Roman copies, the Norse ones rock too as does Anubis, my fave Egyptian one).
That poster we had of Poseiden and Cronos fighting in Earth orbit beats any DBZ episode.
Posted: 2003-04-11 02:01pm
by Kuja
Darth Wong wrote:True, Ragnarok is some bad-ass shit.
On the other hand, the Greek gods may have more raw power; it's been a while since I studied mythology but didn't Ragnarok get started by a piece of mistletoe or something?
No, that's a different lagend. A god named Baldar was killed by an arrow made from mistletoe. Think of him as the Norse version of Achilles.
Posted: 2003-04-11 02:15pm
by Zoink
Greeks win, they're like a superhero team: Lightning bolt dude, Invisible man, Aquaguy, Medusa-head wielding warrior babe... they've got the whole package. Although Ra, being the sun and all, might be a tough cookie.
Posted: 2003-04-11 02:23pm
by Admiral Valdemar
Zoink wrote:Greeks win, they're like a superhero team: Lightning bolt dude, Invisible man, Aquaguy, Medusa-head wielding warrior babe... they've got the whole package. Although Ra, being the sun and all, might be a tough cookie.
Didn't Marvel or DC or 2000AD and Manga ever admit that their creations were probably derived from mythos of countries old?
Posted: 2003-04-11 02:27pm
by Cpt_Frank
Greek vs Norse Gods will be tough. (They're variations of each other after all.)
Posted: 2003-04-11 02:31pm
by SirNitram
The Greek Gods sealed away the beings that made reality, the Titans. Suck on that, Norse bitches.
Posted: 2003-04-11 02:33pm
by XaLEv
You just can't beat the Apple of Discord. Subvert your forces and turn them against each other. Gotta love that.
Posted: 2003-04-11 03:06pm
by Zoink
Don't the Norse gods have human frailty (ie. Thor could be killed by a regular guy with a sword), except Baldur of course.
Posted: 2003-04-11 04:40pm
by Peregrin Toker
What about the Vedic gods of Hinduism?? They are, after all, the ORIGINAL Indo-European pantheon.
Posted: 2003-04-11 05:20pm
by neoolong
Zoink wrote:Don't the Norse gods have human frailty (ie. Thor could be killed by a regular guy with a sword), except Baldur of course.
I believe that it had to do with them needing to eat apples of something or other that gave them long life. Without it they would grow old. Or something.
Posted: 2003-04-11 07:32pm
by paladin
SirNitram wrote:The Greek Gods sealed away the beings that made reality, the Titans. Suck on that, Norse bitches.
Odin and his brothers Ve and Vili created the world from the body of the frost giant, Ymir.
Posted: 2003-04-11 08:10pm
by The Dark
Just a nitpick, but the Egyptians
may not have been as polytheistic as most Egyptologists believe. I just read Christine El Mahdy's analysis of Egypt in the time of Akhenaten, Nefertiti, Smenkhare, and Tutankhaten/Tutankhamen, and she presents an interesting argument in favor of Egyptian montheism similar to Catholicism of today. It definitely needs more evidence in order to eliminate the polytheist theory, but it is a credible theory in my opinion.
And I vote for the Zoroastrians. Ahura Mazda takes on all comers, particularly since none of them know who the crap he is
.
If you're going to make me stick to the original selection, Norse. Just because my philosophy professor jokingly refers to me as Thor (since the person who I debate the most is a practical joker who gets called Loki).
Posted: 2003-04-11 08:55pm
by Raoul Duke, Jr.
Stravo wrote:Norse gods are warriors through and through, and tough as nails. Fucking Odin pulled out his own eye just to get a little wisdom. I'd like to see Zeus pull a move like that if he can pull himself from his bestiality frolicks as he seduces women as some form of animal. Thor's hammer kills giants with a single blow, wimpy Hermes gets his front teeth knocked out by Mjolinir. C'mon, this is a slaughter. The Norse gods spent their entire lives preparing for a final battle that they knew they would lose.
Not to mention that Zeus is really only equivalent to Thor. Odin would just sit on his Cassandra-complexed ass watching his Valkyries seize Greek gods (by declaring them dead, thus forcibly recruiting them into the ranks of the Einherjar, Odin's army.)