Old-School Samurai Rules

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2003-04-18 10:34pm

I, for one think the world would end up as a better place if we were all allowed to carry around katanas(always a good thing anyway) and decapitate people guilty of gross stupidity.
For the sake of public order, there would have to be a few ground rules.
1: You have to draw the katana in front of them, to eliminate the possibility of it just being a limited brainfart. if their self-preservation instincts keep them alive, they get to live, likewise, if they draw their katana and kill you in self-defense, there willbe no charges against them.
2: You can not swing if they offer an apology for being dumb, but they have to at least listen to your reasoning, and promise to not be stupid that way in the future
3: The killing has to be caught on video tape, with audio, to be sure that you didn't break the rules
The Ent-nil vs DS2 thread is what brought this to the front of my mind for the ten billionth time, and motivated me to post it.
I realise this is nowhere near a perfect solution, and so am asking for your help in refining it.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-18 10:37pm

Yes, but use Bokens or Shinais instead.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2003-04-18 10:40pm

No, the entire point is that stupidity should be lethal in sufficient quantities.
Okay, can we have a compromise, that if you get hit in the head 20 times with a bokken, you can be decapitated? we can carry both a bokken and a katana around, I guess, darn it.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-18 10:42pm

consequences wrote:No, the entire point is that stupidity should be lethal in sufficient quantities.
Okay, can we have a compromise, that if you get hit in the head 20 times with a bokken, you can be decapitated? we can carry both a bokken and a katana around, I guess, darn it.

Exactly...there is more PAIN involved in beating a person to death with a bokken.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2003-04-18 10:45pm

True, but the entire point of this was that t was a revision of the old feudal Japan rules, where if a peasant failed to greet a Samurai properly, the Samurai was required to cut his head off on the spot.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-18 10:47pm

I must say...the idea of slicing someone open with a Katana IS quite intrigueing....

WOAH! POST 1337 Hehehe.

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2003-04-18 10:47pm

Remember that even a peasant properly taught in the arts of the Jo could easily disarm a swordsman.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-04-18 10:49pm

Can you guess my opinion on this?

Next of Kin · Post by **Next of Kin** » 2003-04-18 10:50pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:Can you guess my opinion on this?

Probably.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-18 10:50pm

Keevan_Colton wrote:Can you guess my opinion on this?

Toss flowers at mean people?

aerius · Post by **aerius** » 2003-04-18 10:58pm

"Death will come swiftly!"

Yup, but you know what? The rules aren't liberal enough and the idiots won't be killed off fast enough. Mass idiot hunts should be organized with money paid for each idiot killed. And the part about them promising not to be stupid again, I don't think they should get away with that, they should be kneecapped with a ballbat to encourage them to reform. Oh yes, and the videotapes will be made into a movie or TV series and I get to keep all the profits since I was smart enough to think of it.

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-04-18 10:59pm

I'm moving to Japan and starting a lobby for this.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-04-18 11:03pm

DPDarkPrimus wrote:I'm moving to Japan and starting a lobby for this.

If Japan is like it is in MegaTokyo, I'm going with you.

aphexmonster · Post by **aphexmonster** » 2003-04-18 11:44pm

Hehe, there would be so many decapitation videos on Kazaa like two weeks after the samurai law... so like .. basically you want stupid people executed ?

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-18 11:45pm

There would be far too mcuh blood in my area.

A good portion of my doing...would do wonders on my stress level though.

Keevan_Colton · Post by **Keevan_Colton** » 2003-04-18 11:47pm

Welcome all to the sharp side....

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-18 11:49pm

I play with swords...but just Katanas...and some fencing and sabers.

Not nearly as much as Keevan...but enough to kill a good many laymen.

Exonerate · Post by **Exonerate** » 2003-04-19 12:37am

Ghost Rider wrote:I play with swords...but just Katanas...and some fencing and sabers.

Not nearly as much as Keevan...but enough to kill a good many laymen.

Doesn't take much to smack somebody with a large sharp object

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2003-04-19 12:38am

consequences wrote:I, for one think the world would end up as a better place if we were all allowed to carry around katanas(always a good thing anyway) and decapitate people guilty of gross stupidity.
For the sake of public order, there would have to be a few ground rules.
1: You have to draw the katana in front of them, to eliminate the possibility of it just being a limited brainfart. if their self-preservation instincts keep them alive, they get to live, likewise, if they draw their katana and kill you in self-defense, there willbe no charges against them.
2: You can not swing if they offer an apology for being dumb, but they have to at least listen to your reasoning, and promise to not be stupid that way in the future
3: The killing has to be caught on video tape, with audio, to be sure that you didn't break the rules
The Ent-nil vs DS2 thread is what brought this to the front of my mind for the ten billionth time, and motivated me to post it.
I realise this is nowhere near a perfect solution, and so am asking for your help in refining it.

I prefer to bring back the days of the old-fashioned pistol duel. But that's because I tend to be more of a marksman than a swordsman. Though I am trying to improve. I own a pair of wood practice swords suitable for honing both Japanese-style techniques, and more western techniques. And I shall shortly be the owner of a scimitar, and that's because I like the look of the weapon, and I think it works well for the kind of bladework I'd be interested in.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2003-04-19 01:08am

Exonerate wrote:
Ghost Rider wrote:I play with swords...but just Katanas...and some fencing and sabers.

Not nearly as much as Keevan...but enough to kill a good many laymen.
Doesn't take much to smack somebody with a large sharp object

Does take skill though to cut off a head in single swipe

which I can do to the traditional Japanese straw dummy.

Post by **The Yosemite Bear** » 2003-04-19 02:21am

Didn't you know I AM the Chef Ronin

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-04-19 02:24am

I'm seeing that no one thinks you're crazy for this idea... I'd be careful about suggesting it to your Congressman, however.

Post by **Gandalf** » 2003-04-19 04:56am

This would be a great law, then wouldn't people get involved in a non public black market stupidity?

Dooey Jo · Post by **Dooey Jo** » 2003-04-19 06:07am

Samurai law, huh? We ninja don't obey samurai law.

Anyway, a jo-staff is superior to a katana in many ways and I would rather carry a jo than a katana. And if I did own a katana I wouldn't waste it on the necks of idiots, it would be better to break their necks with a jo. Much cheaper.

Darth Gojira · Post by **Darth Gojira** » 2003-04-19 06:58am

"Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster your side, kid"

Namely

SCREW KATANA! I'M GETTING A MAGNUM!!!!

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