Men and Women in the shower..

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-05-14 11:35am

How to Shower Like a Woman
1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according
to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups
4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.
6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with
natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with
Tilex.
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How to Shower Like a Man

1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them
in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake
wiener at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
wiener and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash your face
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they
sound in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
13. Pee.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,
pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.
If there is anyone one among you who did not laugh at the truth behind
this email, there is something so very wrong with you.

Admiral Valdemar · Post by **Admiral Valdemar** » 2003-05-14 11:42am

*Sobs into hands*

It's so damn true...

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-05-14 11:49am

ROTF...

Ahhh, I have some of those exact products....

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-14 11:51am

oh funny.

Col. Crackpot · Post by **Col. Crackpot** » 2003-05-14 11:58am

WOO-WOO!

Actually i do the helicopter when i walk through the house naked

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-05-14 12:03pm

Muy interesante... Only problem is that some of us fit only like two or three of those things..

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-05-14 12:33pm

I think the guy's shower is too long.

theski · Post by **theski** » 2003-05-14 12:56pm

Way too many steps in the Guy shower...

Montcalm · Post by **Montcalm** » 2003-05-14 12:57pm

neoolong wrote:I think the guy's shower is too long.

That depend most guys can do all of this in less than 2 minutes max 5 minutes.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-14 01:06pm

So funny.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2003-05-14 03:06pm

That's a damn good joke. And true, so true.

Iceberg · Post by **Iceberg** » 2003-05-14 03:25pm

Now, we need a set of steps for mixed-gender showers.

thecreech · Post by **thecreech** » 2003-05-14 03:37pm

isn't masturbation suppose to be apart of the mens shower? i think that i have seen that b4. Still funny

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2003-05-14 03:38pm

Bah, clearly there are too many steps for the guy's shower!

I'd say:

1) Remove clothes
2) Pee
3) Turn on shower
4) Jump in.
5) Curse the fact that the shower is either so cold the water is turning to hail right before your very eyes, or is so hot that your skin is melting off your body
6) Fiddle with settings until water temperature is just right.
7) Shampoo
8 ) Soap up everything
9) Rinse
10) Realize that you're now twenty minutes late and leap from the shower, getting water everywhere.
11) Hastily dry off, still getting water everywhere, and doing a remarkable impression of a drowned rat afterwards.
12) Go to shaving:

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2003-05-14 03:40pm

Pee should be during the shower.

GrandMasterTerwynn · Post by **GrandMasterTerwynn** » 2003-05-14 03:42pm

neoolong wrote:Pee should be during the shower.

Nonono, why limit it to just the shower when you can do it before, and then do it in the middle of the shower?

Nathan F · Post by **Nathan F** » 2003-05-14 05:46pm

Things that are so true are always so funny.

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2003-05-14 05:53pm

Its funny cause its true.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2003-05-14 07:32pm

You could combine some of the guy steps to save time. There's nothing at all saying you can't pee and fart as the same time, for example.

InnerBrat · Post by **InnerBrat** » 2003-05-14 07:37pm

*reads links*

Yep, I'm androgynous all right. *sigh*

DPDarkPrimus · Post by **DPDarkPrimus** » 2003-05-14 09:02pm

Hehehe.. only partially true for me, but funny nontheless.

Thirdfain · Post by **Thirdfain** » 2003-05-14 09:31pm

You could combine some of the guy steps to save time. There's nothing at all saying you can't pee and fart as the same time, for example

.

Easier said than done... I've never been able to pull it off...

Enforcer Talen · Post by **Enforcer Talen** » 2003-05-14 09:58pm

I dont do either of those

didnt laugh either

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-05-15 01:25am

GrandMasterTerwynn wrote:
neoolong wrote:Pee should be during the shower.
Nonono, why limit it to just the shower when you can do it before, and then do it in the middle of the shower?

As long as it's in the shower and not in other devices.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2003-05-15 01:27am

Enforcer Talen wrote:I dont do either of those didnt laugh either

Or in the comon launguge, WTF! Nothing in that article could be ascribed to you? Your not human, are you?