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Noticed the other day that a girl in class was flirting with me (my friend-who's-a-girl said it's actually been happening for a few weeks but being a guy I don't pick up on it too well- fishing on whether I'm single, winking/smiling while I was giving a presentation the other day, making a few comments etc) I'm attracted to her and I definitely wouldn't mind giving it a go to ask her out. She has my phone number and has rung me once to ask me a question about class, thing is, I don't have hers. I did get it, though, by simply running a search on the net (she's the editor of the uni magazine). Should I use it, or better to just ask her for her number in person?

Just ask her. That way she won't think you're trying to stalk her or something. And she can always refuse if she was just toying with you...

Vympel wrote:Should I use it, or better to just ask her for her number in person?

Definately hunt down the real number using your own means - BUT DON'T USE IT. Then next time you see her or she calls, ask her for her number. Instantly you get a check of whether or not she has given you a "brush-off" number.

Also, by actually going face to face with her it gives you a chance to get things in the open. It can be difficult, but its worth the effort.

Vympel, trust me brother, if she finds out that you ran a search for her on the net, she is going to think you are a creepy weirdo. Here is what you do: The next time she calls you, or talks to you at school, you just say, "can I call you sometime?" Now, by doing this, you are actually doing two important things at once. First, you are showing her that you are interested. It's very inconspicuous but tactful at the same time. Also, when you do this, you will be oozing with confidence (at least in her mind). Girls love confident guys.

Whatever you do, don't tell her you ran a search for her on the net. If you want to, go ahead but don't say I didn't warn you.

If she has called you already, then I say you got the "in" you need. Take advantage dude.

Vympel wrote:Noticed the other day that a girl in class was flirting with me (my friend-who's-a-girl said it's actually been happening for a few weeks but being a guy I don't pick up on it too well

Oh the awesome perception of a guy I couldn't pick a hay stack out of a needle either when it comes to a girl flirting with me either.


.... as for the wierdo stalking thing... seriously, dont tell her. Even after you're married. Theres just something about an invasion of privacy that girls dont find attractive .... other than that... good luck ^_^

It's 'stalking' to look up how to contact someone who's on the uni payroll by just going to the main uni website? Talk about paranoia. But point well taken.

Why beat around the bush? If you're in the same class, can't you just talk about the class for a minute or two and then suggest that the two of you stop by the coffee shop on the way out of the building? It's much easier to get a phone number when you're talking to her over a coffee than when you breathlessly ask her for personal information at the end of a class.

Also works with sandwiches, etc. depending on her routine, and of course, it's best if you know she would have gone there anyway (it helps to know a bit about her schedule).

Darth Wong wrote:Why beat around the bush? If you're in the same class, can't you just talk about the class for a minute or two and then suggest that the two of you stop by the coffee shop on the way out of the building? It's much easier to get a phone number when you're talking to her over a coffee than when you breathlessly ask her for personal information at the end of a class.

Also works with sandwiches, etc. depending on her routine, and of course, it's best if you know she would have gone there anyway (it helps to know a bit about her schedule).

Kind of difficult- Friday is the only day I see her and it's one *full* day- I start at 9am and finish at 9pm, with a break between 12-2pm. During that break, I spend it with aforementioned lady friend, so it would be kind of difficult. I figured a good thing to do was that, because she sings (quite well apparently), I could ask her where the show was in a particular week and tag along. She asked me off-the-cuff if I wanted to go see her show on Friday after class- unfortunately, I have 3 hours of class after she finishes for the day.

Ouch about the class bit. Full days can eat at ya...also the whole asking about when she sings is another good tactic.

But yeah just ask...so far works the best and most honest approach though getting a little flubbed isn't bad if you're not the most extroverted person on the planet ...

Vympel wrote:Kind of difficult- Friday is the only day I see her and it's one *full* day- I start at 9am and finish at 9pm, with a break between 12-2pm. During that break, I spend it with aforementioned lady friend, so it would be kind of difficult. I figured a good thing to do was that, because she sings (quite well apparently), I could ask her where the show was in a particular week and tag along. She asked me off-the-cuff if I wanted to go see her show on Friday after class- unfortunately, I have 3 hours of class after she finishes for the day.

You would allow mere classes to interfere with potential penile satisfaction?

When Rebecca and I were dating, I routinely skipped classes in order to get some. You can always check out one of your study partners' notes or read the text afterwards.

Darth Wong wrote: You would allow mere classes to interfere with potential penile satisfaction?

When Rebecca and I were dating, I routinely skipped classes in order to get some. You can always check out one of your study partners' notes or read the text afterwards.

Sounds a lot like me.

Having my house NEXT DOOR to uni is such a damn good thing. Unfortunately Sarah doesn't have classes on campus anymore. So no more lunch-time visits...

Darth Wong wrote: You would allow mere classes to interfere with potential penile satisfaction?

Well .... no.

When Rebecca and I were dating, I routinely skipped classes in order to get some. You can always check out one of your study partners' notes or read the text afterwards.

Fugging ... it'd have to be the week after next then- I can skip Immigration then, but not the week coming. I had this bullshit Immigration Law presentation to do on Friday but the bloody group before us went overtime, so he points at us and says "you going to be here next week? Well, you are now!"

If I don't go, bye-bye 15% of my marks for the subject. Luckily, she's in 2 out of 3 of the days classes, so I do have a pretty large window of opportunity.

Just chat with her for a minute or two after class and tell her to call you that night. Then, ask for her phone number when she calls, citing the fact that she has an unfair advantage over you in that she has your number, but you don't have hers. That's a wonderful gateway into flirtation, at least in my experience.

But don't tell her you looked her up online. You might not be psycho, but you might as well be if you tell her that.

I don't think you should tell her that you looked her name up on the internet, but I also don't think it's a frightening offense to have done so. You could tell her or you could not; how she takes it really all depends on the way she feels about you. If I was in her place and I wasn't interested in you, then yes, I would think you were scary and psychotic and whatever else because you had looked up my info. However, if I secretly wanted to jump you everytime I saw you and you mentioned something about looking up my number, I would be delighted by the fact that you went through some time & effort to be able to get in touch with me, and then I'd want to jump you even more.

So...yeah. Just wanted to say that so that anyone else who's ever looked up someone's phone number like that doesn't feel like a sexual predator or anything.

I ask for emails o_O I must be weird.

Enforcer Talen wrote:I ask for emails o_O I must be weird.

That reminds me...I need to get a girl I knows e-mail address. I know her phone number already, but I still need the e-mail address.

And she just got off of AIM too, damn.

Gah, another thread of this sort. Vympel, I agree with both Mike and Z, either just call the girl up and ask for a meaningless date, such as coffee or what ever, or go up to her in class and ask the same.

If you ask and are shot down, you know whats up. If you don't ask at all, you'll never know what would have been. Tis the old 'better to love and lossed than never loved at all' thing. Simplified, but the same concept. Go for it. Dating is more a statistic thing than a fate thing anyway.

Danke people, that's the plan- come Friday I'll either ask her out straight or get her number/ have her call me/ etc. Will see how the situation carries me. But on Friday I will do *something* about it, guaranteed.

Just call her anyways and when she asks how you got her number, tell her, "A little birdy told me."

I mean, how can you argue with that? She'll just have to be like, "Damn birds! *shakes fist into the sky* well I guess since someone told you and you didn't creepily look it up off the Net you can come in and we'll fuck or something."

See how easy that was? Blame it on the birds....

Vympel wrote:Danke people, that's the plan- come Friday I'll either ask her out straight or get her number/ have her call me/ etc. Will see how the situation carries me. But on Friday I will do *something* about it, guaranteed.

Do it! After class invite her for a coffee and then be sure to pick up her number. It sounds like you have the fish in the boat and all you have to do is whack it with the oar!

Vympel wrote:Danke people, that's the plan- come Friday I'll either ask her out straight or get her number/ have her call me/ etc. Will see how the situation carries me. But on Friday I will do *something* about it, guaranteed.

Do what the therapists told me and make sure that you make your desires known from the start. I am always certain to tell girls that I want sex as soon as possible from them.

Durandal wrote:Do what the therapists told me and make sure that you make your desires known from the start. I am always certain to tell girls that I want sex as soon as possible from them.

Ahh, I know that always works with me. *swoon*

Just call her, and when she asks how you got her number, tell her that some guy that knew her gave it to you, when she asks what his name was, tell her you didn't really catch it because you were on your way to buy a motorboat. When she replies with "You're buying a motorboat?!" You've averted the question and completely changed the subject.

If you looked up her number on the Net, you already have a problem in that you're getting emotionally attached pre-maturely. There are over 3 billion women in the world, and many of them are both attractive and intelligent. Don't get too hung up on a single person. And let me tell you a dirty little secret: all animals have built-in behaviors that limit populations. For most mammals, it's the existence of a mating season. For humans, it's that men and women drive each other nuts and make each other miserable. Go ahead and date this and other girls, and go ahead and fall head over heels during the fantasy romance phase of the relationship, but don't do anything stupid like get married to someone you didn't really know and had unrealistic expectations of, only to end up in a situation where you spend all your time in the garage or watching TV and shunning your wife and she criticizes and seeks to change you all the time. That's the way an unfortunate majority of relationships end up, you know.

Ask her first.