StarDestroyer.Net BBS

History. An account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant which are rought about by rules, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools

Amateur. A public nuisance who mistakes taste for skill, and confounds his ambition with his ability

Bachelor. A man whom women are still sampling.

Christian. One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbour. One who follows the teachings of Christ in so far as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin

YANKEE. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMNYANK.)

PORTUGUESE, n.pl.
A species of geese indigenous to Portugal. They are mostly without feathers and imperfectly edible, even when stuffed with garlic.

IDIOT, n.
A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is not confined to any special field of thought or action, but "pervades and regulates the whole." He has the last word in everything; his decision is unappealable. He sets the fashions and opinion of taste, dictates the limitations of speech and circumscribes conduct with a dead-line.

Kintaro wrote:I think it was written about a hundred years ago, so we won't understand some of the jokes very well.

HOMOEOPATHIST, n.
The humorist of the medical profession.

HOMOEOPATHY, n.
A school of medicine midway between Allopathy and Christian Science. To the last both the others are distinctly inferior, for Christian Science will cure imaginary diseases, and they can not.

Ambrose Bierce wrote: CONSERVATIVE, n.
A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal, who wishes to replace them with others.